December 2005
This amused me greatly last night whilst filling up. The filling station has pumps either side of vertical posts, with the pump numbers on the same face; so the stickers for 1 and 2 are next to each other with a small gap. Having filled up, go inside, three people in front of me, the gentlemen about to be served was elderly (Honda Jazz, but that's not important right now). The exchange went as follows -
Miserable Attendant- "What pump love?"
Old Gent - "Sorry my dear?"
M.A - "What pump love, what number?"
O.G - "Oh, err, errm.. (looks through window).. number twelve"
M.A - "There is no twelve"
O.G - "Sorry my dear?"
M.A - (exasperated) "There IS NO twelve, it's either one or two"
O.G - (Looking through window) "Errm, well, errm"
M.A - "What car are you, the red one or the white one?"
O.G - "Pardon, sorry?"
M.A - (Losing it) "Are you the red or white car?"
O.G - "Oh, I see, the red one my dear"
M.A - "Right, number two then"
O.G - "Oh, I'm sorry my dear"
OLD GENT THEN FUMBLES IN WALLET FOR CREDIT CARD
M.A- "Do you know you're PIN number?"
O.G- "My what, sorry?"
M.A - "You're PIN number, for your card?"
O.G - "My card? Sorry,what?"
M.A - (Now in temper) "Forget it, just sign it" SNATCHES CARD OUT OF READER, SWIPES AND PRINTS RECEIPT. AS OLD GENT SIGNS, M.A LOOKS AT MAN NEXT IN QUEUE AND DOES STRANGLING SIGNS TO OLD GENT.
O.G- "There you go my dear, I'm very sorry"
M.A SAYS NOTHING, SLAPS RECEIPT ON COUNTER
O.G EXITS SHOP, LOOKING SOMEWHAT FORLORN.
M.A (to next guy in queue) "Jesus Christ, do they know how to wind you up! What pump love?
Young Man (pauses for comic effect) "Er.. fifty six?"
(Lordy- Rolls around on floor)
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let me be the last to let you down.... Read more
I'm currently in the process of getting a new (used) car and I've pretty much narrowed my options, based on price, performance, reliability and looks down to a Volvo S40. It will either be a 2.0T or a T4, which has to be newer than 2000.
What I need to know is, in real life terms, is there a big difference in performance between the 2.0T and the T4?
I'm moving from an 1.6 Alfa 145 by the way, so it's going to be a fairly hefty step up! Read more
Well, I've driven two 115 bhp 2003 1.9D S40's now and I liked the way they drove.
I'm not bothered about whether it's a pure Volvo or not, I just want a car with decent performance, good reliability, well built and comfortable. It's got to look good too, which the Sport versions which I have tested, do.
The search is on...
I ask the question on behalf of a friend who does about 20,000 miles per year. He wants to replace his tired 1996 Rover 214 - we've replaced the head gasket a couple of times now!.
He is looking for a cheap diesel, anywhere in size, ranging from Astra to Mondeo. As I wouldn't consider a common rail diesel for myself, I won't be suggesting that my friend does either, so I am keen to make sure that any recommendation uses old injector pump technology.
Thankfully my friend does not have any hint of badge snobbery, and is simply loooking for a good deal, and a reliable car.
Any suggestions? Read more
I own two oldish diesels, one is a 1997 Rover 420SLDI. It very economical at ~ 52mpg on motorways. It is very responsive and the acceleration is lively. I paid £2K for it two years ago.
The second car is an "S" reg Nissan Primera 2.0ltr TD. It returns 46mpg on motorways. It is superb at cruising on the motorways but does not like hills and bends. If you do not get a good run at a hill it can chug up and you do not tend to race away from junctions etc. Going down through the gear box, fourth is a waste of time go straight to 3rd.
So far both cars have proved reliable. Touch wood that is.
Remember this link when scraping the ice off your car next time.
Merry Christmas
tinyurl.com/a3ebneveryone. Read more
I thought that was really funny! Thanks! hen he defrosted the car I don't think he was going far in it anyway - did you see the height of the snow banks between him and the carriageway?
Hello.
My daughter has just decided that she wants to learn to drive.
She has a fiesta on the drive that has been there since march the battery is flat so we purchased a new one.
It needs servicing but we don't know which one to have.
The brakes need servicing too and the tyres may need replacing due to perishing.
What service level should i require.
All help appreciated
--
(iam not a mechanic)
Martin Winters Read more
as you say your not a MECHANIC then why not simply take it to one that is? have every thing checked, or simply scrap it and start again!!!!!
Hi,
Does anyone have any experience of the Signum at all. In particular the 1.9 Diesel.
Thanks in anticipation.
Robert Read more
hullo robert,
check with previous discussion on the 17th december.
Regards gbr
If a vehicle is parked on a road with a 'no loading' restriction, how long does the traffic warden have to wait before ticketing the vehicle?
Earlier this morning I watched - outside my house - a Southwark traffic warden drive up, jump out of the car, and be back in his car within ninety seconds - ticket on the vehicle.
After the series of television programmes on illicit ticketing, I recall Westminster saying that a traffic warden had to stand by a vehicle for 5 minutes before starting to write the ticket. Perhaps I need to be less blasé about having the car standing outside when I load up. Read more
Anyway, rang council, they
sorted it and said this particluar warden was very over zelous
(if thats the right term) and they would be looking into
his future employment!! Haha... Didnt see him hanging around today...........
They looked into his employment alright... they probably made him a supervisor, that's why you didn't see him!
..to CAR.
Decided that a magazine which is domintaed by cars costing over £50,000 is a pointless read, as I will never spend that much on cars and any car costing that much had better be good anyway.
If 10% of the stories were about supercars, that would be OK, but its all teh time and I'm bored. What happened to interesting stories about drives through the Sahara in a Peugeot 306, or simply a proper Giant Test between cars we may actually be able to afford or are relevant to driving on Britain's congested roads.
Don't get me wrong, I would love a new Lamborghini etc, and one day I may get my wish, but in the meantime, I would actually really like to know if a Mondeo ST220 is actually a better car new, than a BMW 320. That's an interesting story!
So where tdo I go from here? IS there a mag that writes for grown ups, that doesn't worry too much about image and economy or am I relegated to the classic car stuff.
--
Espada III - well if you have a family and need a Lamborghini, what else do you drive? Read more
I have each and every edition of Top Gear, and i've never grown bored of it.
I bought a rival mag once can't remember which one but a glossy thick one, and they had airbrushed / digitally changed the cover car to make appear to be a UK RHD version - why???
I found this quite interesting.
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/from_our_own_corres...m Read more
Hopefully the new French registration system will be at least as silly as our 05, 55 etc. one is!
Cheers, SS
Hi All, i have a Pug 106 1995 1.1 petrol. I would like to keep it another 12 months or so but dont want to be throwing money down a bottomless pit.
It has just turned 100k and was wondering if anyone could give me an estimate on how long i should expect the major vehicle componants to last eg Engine, Gearbox, clutch. The vehicle had a new rad, cylinder head gasket, and head skim (7 thou removed) and timing belt at 55k. It did short runs - ie 7-8 miles- first 40k but since then long runs. Oil and filter -peugeot filter- every 7-8k. Are there any other problems i should watch out for on this matter??
Any advice would be most appreciated.
Cheers
Read more
As many would say " How long is a piece of string"
Browse
Fantastic what old people say and do.
I had my 2 and 4.5 year old in the shopping trolley, queuing to pay for the shopping, prior to using the 5p voucher at the petrol station.
My son was helping me to load the items on to the converor belt, on the other side 4 elderly ladies 70- 90 years old, who started talking to him, normal questions, what's your name, how old are you both etc-.
Eventually my boy, said, whilst giving his sister a big love " I love my sister", big aahs from the ladies, followed by him adding with perfect comic timing, "especially when I'm hitting her" - oh the old ladies faces.
Priceless