Filling Station Hilarity - lordy
This amused me greatly last night whilst filling up. The filling station has pumps either side of vertical posts, with the pump numbers on the same face; so the stickers for 1 and 2 are next to each other with a small gap. Having filled up, go inside, three people in front of me, the gentlemen about to be served was elderly (Honda Jazz, but that's not important right now). The exchange went as follows -
Miserable Attendant- "What pump love?"
Old Gent - "Sorry my dear?"
M.A - "What pump love, what number?"
O.G - "Oh, err, errm.. (looks through window).. number twelve"
M.A - "There is no twelve"
O.G - "Sorry my dear?"
M.A - (exasperated) "There IS NO twelve, it's either one or two"
O.G - (Looking through window) "Errm, well, errm"
M.A - "What car are you, the red one or the white one?"
O.G - "Pardon, sorry?"
M.A - (Losing it) "Are you the red or white car?"
O.G - "Oh, I see, the red one my dear"
M.A - "Right, number two then"
O.G - "Oh, I'm sorry my dear"
OLD GENT THEN FUMBLES IN WALLET FOR CREDIT CARD
M.A- "Do you know you're PIN number?"
O.G- "My what, sorry?"
M.A - "You're PIN number, for your card?"
O.G - "My card? Sorry,what?"
M.A - (Now in temper) "Forget it, just sign it" SNATCHES CARD OUT OF READER, SWIPES AND PRINTS RECEIPT. AS OLD GENT SIGNS, M.A LOOKS AT MAN NEXT IN QUEUE AND DOES STRANGLING SIGNS TO OLD GENT.
O.G- "There you go my dear, I'm very sorry"
M.A SAYS NOTHING, SLAPS RECEIPT ON COUNTER
O.G EXITS SHOP, LOOKING SOMEWHAT FORLORN.
M.A (to next guy in queue) "Jesus Christ, do they know how to wind you up! What pump love?
Young Man (pauses for comic effect) "Er.. fifty six?"
(Lordy- Rolls around on floor)
--
let me be the last to let you down....
Filling Station Hilarity - Altea Ego
LOL

Yes! I dream of being fed comic lines like that.
------------------------------
TourVanMan TM < Ex RF >
Filling Station Hilarity - R75
Absolutly superb, wish I could have been there for that.
Filling Station Hilarity - henry k
I assume you left him your card.
Filling Station Hilarity - lordy
Ha! We once sponsored a 'hole' at the local golf club's annual tournament. The banner read "COMPANY NAME - For a hole in one every time."

Someone complained.
--
let me be the last to let you down....
Filling Station Hilarity - JH
Just to stand up for the old guy for a minute (my hearing's going) I have reached the front of the queue on one occasion and quoted the pump number only to have it pointed out to me that there were two, different numbers on each pump! And of course "we don't (the one I'd quoted) any more". So why not take the blasted thing off and make it clear?

John
Filling Station Hilarity - Roly93
FILLING STATION NOT SO HILLARITY !

About an hour ago, bloke in Audi in front of a 4x4 just comes back from paying for his fuel, takes slightly too long to pull away to let 4x4 get at LPG pump.

4x4 driver hits horn - guy in Audi getout - blazing row ensues !

Whats wrong with people these days ? Is there no tollerance left in the world ?
Filling Station Hilarity - kennybase
Its the Christmas spirit!

Sat in a queue at a supermarket carpark with a filter road - no one would let anyone in! Stopped and let the whole line in (about 6 cars) Sorry to anyone behind who was in a rush, but I'm sure whatever the appointment was could wait the extra 60seconds it took to let these people out.
Filling Station Hilarity - codefarm
Doesn't anybody else think that miserable attendant was unforgivably rude? What gives them the right to treat an old guy like that?
Filling Station Hilarity - BobbyG
Codefarm, I agree, Although it was funny, and I laughed reading it, it reminded me of a recent incident in the PO when a queue had formed and the elderly gentleman was having trouble remembering his PIN to top up one of his power cards or something.

I felt so sorry for him, here was a 70 something year old man who had to remember a number so that he could pay for his gas or electricity. And he just couldn't remember it.

Sometimes we forget how scary our hi-tec world must be to our elderly civilians.
Filling Station Hilarity - R75
I read it as meaning the young guy was having a pop at the cashier, not the other way round. I hope that is how it was meant anyway. And I agree that the cashier was very rude and if it had been me behind then i would have said something to them - I hate rudeness.
Filling Station Hilarity - lordy
Exactly. I think everyone in the queue felt that the attendant behaved appallingly. It was a very uncomfortable situation, the denoument, however, was 'bite yer knuckles' funny. Good on you, whoever you were!
--
let me be the last to let you down....
Filling Station Hilarity - Honestjohn
Excellent story, lordy. Fell off my seat.

HJ
Filling Station Hilarity - cockle {P}
Couldn't agree more TU. We'll all be there one day..... Old, I mean... and confused, no doubt.

There's an old saying I'm sure you've all heard before, "Be nice to people on the way up, you never know when you'll meet them on the way back down." Same can be said for age.
A little look at the obit column in the Telegraph can remind you of what some of these people were capable of when they were our age, or mostly younger, and I don't think a lot of us would come up to muster given the same cicumstances.
Filling Station Hilarity - L'escargot
Couldn't agree more TU. We'll all be there one day..... Old,
I mean... and confused, no doubt.
There's an old saying I'm sure you've all heard before, "Be
nice to people on the way up, you never know when
you'll meet them on the way back down." Same can be
said for age.
A little look at the obit column in the Telegraph can
remind you of what some of these people were capable of
when they were our age, or mostly younger, and I don't
think a lot of us would come up to muster given
the same cicumstances.


cockle, your last sentence says it all.
--
L\'escargot.
Filling Station Hilarity - Martin Devon
>> A little look at the obit column in the Telegraph can
remind you of what some of these people were capable of
when they were our age, or mostly younger, and I don't
think a lot of us would come up to muster given
the same cicumstances.

I read the Obituaries every day in the same paper and it makes me humble just what some, (most) of these people have achieved. Whingeing (haven't got time for other people), Bankers don't impress me at all. Have some humility or die in stress.

vbr (to all who understand)...................MD
Filling Station Hilarity - Chicken Madras
Excellent post Lordy - SWMBO and I were in hysterics reading it. Why oh why oh why do the Gods of Comedy never visit me like that!

All the best,
CM
Filling Station Hilarity - Hugo {P}
Well I hope the elderly gent had the sense and presence of mind to laugh about it afterwards, and I hope the attentdant remained irratated for the rest of the day.
Filling Station Hilarity - mss1tw
Probably got in his Honda Jazz and cruised off up the road at a steady 12.5mph, unaware of any horns, sirens, etc.

I don't actually feel sorry for him, at all. How difficult is to memorise petrol station procedure? It's the same everytime.

Fill up
Take mental note of pump number
Remember
Tell cashier

Most of us probably do this on autopilot.

"Hi...pump XX please. Yep, £XX. Thanks, bye."

If you can't do these you shouldn't be on the road. (Eyesight and cognitive functions obviously impaired. Not to mention hearing, with all those 'pardons'.)
Filling Station Hilarity - L'escargot
Probably got in his Honda Jazz and cruised off up the
road at a steady 12.5mph, unaware of any horns, sirens, etc.
I don't actually feel sorry for him, at all. How
difficult is to memorise petrol station procedure? It's the same everytime.
Fill up
Take mental note of pump number
Remember
Tell cashier
Most of us probably do this on autopilot.
"Hi...pump XX please. Yep, £XX. Thanks, bye."
If you can't do these you shouldn't be on the road.
(Eyesight and cognitive functions obviously impaired. Not to mention hearing, with
all those 'pardons'.)


There but for the grace of God go all of us, sooner or later. You never know, it could be you sooner rather than later. Anyway, some of us oldies suffer from impaired hearing due to unavoidable (at the time) industrial noise not from the current vogue of going to overloud discos from personal choice.



--
L\'escargot.
Filling Station Hilarity - mss1tw
Can't argue with that, at all.

But sentiment and reasoning can't argue with the cold hard fact that it sounds like he shouldn't be driving.

I like to think that anyone on here would have the sense to do a little self evaluation.

Finally, the miserable pump attendant should be reported. No excuse for going that far.
Filling Station Hilarity - R75
If you can't do these you shouldn't be on the road.
(Eyesight and cognitive functions obviously impaired. Not to mention hearing, with
all those 'pardons'.)


So does that mean only fit, healthy people who no doubt are over 5'8" tall, have a body mass index that is in the green region were born after the 2nd Sunday but before the 5th month will be allowed to drive then?

As long as the gent could drive without posing a danger to others on the road then what is the problem? Do you think that he should be able to drive a honda nsx, power sliding round corners? Or is he allowed to drive a small car sedately, going about his daily business causing no problems to anyone except a bulshy cashier!!

Don't know about you but there are 3 or 4 different types of chip and pin machine and all work slightly differently, even I get confused sometimes and I'm 32 with a very good understanding of modern technology.
Filling Station Hilarity - Adam {P}
>>So does that mean only fit, healthy people who no doubt are over 5'8" tall, have a body mass index that is in the green region were born after the 2nd Sunday but before the 5th month will be allowed to drive then?<<


Jeez - I'd best surrender my licence now then!
Filling Station Hilarity - R75
Jeez - I'd best surrender my licence now then!


You and I both!! ;o)
Filling Station Hilarity - cheddar
>>M.A - (Losing it) "Are you the red or white car?"
O.G - "Oh, I see, the red one my dear">>

Ok, phew, it was the local fire chief and not the village Constable ....
Filling Station Hilarity - Robin Reliant
An item on Ken Bruce the other week about slovenly shop assistants promted an email from a listener.

Waiting to pay while the assistant was chatting on the phone and ignoring the queue of customers, he tapped the counter and said,

"Excuse me miss, are you serving"?

"Sorry mum, I've got to go, I got a right one here"!
Filling Station Hilarity - OAP
Thank-you to all those who have been understanding and sympathetic.....I was feeling *very* confused at the time!!
Filling Station Hilarity - mss1tw
So does that mean only fit, healthy people who no doubt
are over 5'8" tall, have a body mass index that is
in the green region were born after the 2nd Sunday but
before the 5th month will be allowed to drive then?


Taking my words completely out of context there, so I'm going to be just as lazy and let your words do the talking.
As long as the gent could drive without posing a danger
to others on the road then what is the problem? Do
you think that he should be able to drive a honda
nsx, power sliding round corners? Or is he allowed to drive
a small car sedately, going about his daily business causing no
problems to anyone except a bulshy cashier!!


And the motorcyclist he didn't see, or hear. Or the emergency response vehicles there's a high chance he'd be completely oblivious to. Also, I'd better mention kids as that's the de rigueur safety angle at the moment.
Don't know about you but there are 3 or 4 different
types of chip and pin machine and all work slightly differently,
even I get confused sometimes and I'm 32 with a very
good understanding of modern technology.


Not really no. I have to familarise myself with the keys/screen, but I couldn't class that as confusion.
Filling Station Hilarity - R75
AFAIAA there is no hearing test in the UK driving test (but I do stand to be corrected), I do know there is an eyesight test, but clearly his eyesight was ok as he could read the numbers on the pumps! ;o)
Filling Station Hilarity - cheddar
AFAIAA there is no hearing test in the UK driving test ...>>


Sorry, er what was that you said ......
Filling Station Hilarity - wemyss
Well mss I hope you remember these comments of yours if your'e lucky enough to reach old age and technology has moved on.
In the same circumstances when this happens I hope you will immediately post off your licence to DVLA and tell them you had some problem at the filling station and feel that you are no longer fit to drive.
I don't think so.....You will find this now only applies to others.
Filling Station Hilarity - henry k
Congratulations to the polite, patient gentleman who concentrated and chose the correct fuel from the clearly marked pumps, brands, various coloured hoses etc.

Should I mention all those of a younger age who seem confused and not able cope with this technology.
Oh its only a few tens of thousands, I understand, so thats all right then.

Filling Station Hilarity - Adam {P}
Let's all calm down Gents. It's Christmas.


Filling Station Hilarity - oxob
Merry (but not if your driving) Christmas everyone.
Filling Station Hilarity - Altea Ego
you young wippersnapper,
------------------------------
TourVanMan TM < Ex RF >
Filling Station Hilarity - Adam {P}
Sorry RF - I've started on the sherry already.
Filling Station Hilarity - Robbie
Congratulations to the polite, patient gentleman who concentrated and chose the
correct fuel from the clearly marked pumps, brands, various coloured hoses
etc.
Should I mention all those of a younger age who seem
confused and not able cope with this technology.
Oh its only a few tens of thousands, I understand, so
thats all right then.


...and it appears to be the younger ones who confuse diesel with petrol, judging by the number of posts on here.
Filling Station Hilarity - mss1tw
In the same circumstances when this happens I hope you will
immediately post off your licence to DVLA and tell them you
had some problem at the filling station and feel that you
are no longer fit to drive.


So do I. I don't want anything that could be the result of my failing senses on my conscience.
Filling Station Hilarity - mfarrow
Fill up
Take mental note of pump number
Remember
Tell cashier


But he did that, he just got it wrong thanks to the confusion of the signage!

--------------
Mike Farrow
Filling Station Hilarity - Pugugly {P}
My local garage is a family run business, two way abuse is part of the package, its expected and appreciated.
Filling Station Hilarity - nutty_nissan
Even the miserable attendant will grow old and lose many faculties. It happens to all of us.
Filling Station Hilarity - Another John H
Even the miserable attendant will grow old and lose many faculties.
It happens to all of us.


Not necessarily.

Many of the angry ones die young.

Happy Christmas...
Filling Station Hilarity - Martin Devon
You are sooooooo sad. One day I hope it inflicts you. Do you wear a football shirt during the weekday...........Oh! and a cap....Saddo. MD.
Filling Station Hilarity - Pugugly {P}
Martin,

Been seething a bit over this haven't you ?
Filling Station Hilarity - Blue {P}
Erm, I'm confused, what prompted the new posts after soooo long?

Blue
Filling Station Hilarity - Round The Bend
At 03:39 you have every right to be confused. I believe someone asked for a link to this oldie ....... maybe in the goat thing?
_______
IanS
Filling Station Hilarity - frazerjp
Couldnt stop laughing for five minutes!! lol Excellent!!
--
Its not what you drive, its how you drive it! :-)
Filling Station Hilarity - greenhey
Driving through Reading about 1230 one night.
Go to fill up.
Filling station no customers.
Stand and fill car, watched the whole time by the assistant.
Nobody else arrives.
Put back filler cap, get money, lock car, walk the 25 yards to his window
"Which pump ?"
Filling Station Hilarity - bell boy
once filled up at an all night station many years ago and had to wait while the assistant put her clothes back on before she would come out of the stock room to serve me,she was very red faced ,mm must have been hot back there i guess.
Filling Station Hilarity - Dynamic Dave
Had to laugh at the queue jumper yesterday at Sainsbury's. He drove past several cars (including mine) and ended up pulling up next to the one and only pump that was out of order on the forcourt that had 12 or more working pumps. We could all see the yellow covers on the 3 nozzles indicating they were not working - shame he couldn't. LOL.
Filling Station Hilarity - George Porge
Very funny, but no mention of how clearly the attendant spoke, mumbled whilst looking at her feet maybe. Second thoughts the old chap may have been over due his medication, recently lost his wife or whatever...... theres no excuse for abusing an elderly customer :-(
Filling Station Hilarity - ffidrac {P}
I used to work in a busy filling station in Cosham near Portsmouth.

One sunny Saturday morning a dear little lady came to pay.

ME: Which pump love?
OL: The red car dear. (looking for her purse in her hanbag)

I take a look out of the window......there are 10 pumps, 8 of which have cars at them, 3 cars waiting for the carwash that's 11 cars on the forecourt and ALL of them are various shades of RED!!!

ME: Which one love? (meaning which red one)
OL: THE RED ONE DEAR she shouts, still looking in her handbag, obviously thinking I am deaf.
ME: Yes but which one? (smiling to the chap behind her in the queue as he has looked out the window as well and has a huge grin on his face).
OL (finding her purse and looking up shouts again): THE RED (looks out of the window) OH PINK FLUFFY DICETHERE'S LOADS OF THEM! (realises she is still shouting) Oohps sorry...erm over there by the wall.

By this time the people behind her are all chuckling.

Filling Station Hilarity - wotspur
Fantastic what old people say and do.
I had my 2 and 4.5 year old in the shopping trolley, queuing to pay for the shopping, prior to using the 5p voucher at the petrol station.
My son was helping me to load the items on to the converor belt, on the other side 4 elderly ladies 70- 90 years old, who started talking to him, normal questions, what's your name, how old are you both etc-.
Eventually my boy, said, whilst giving his sister a big love " I love my sister", big aahs from the ladies, followed by him adding with perfect comic timing, "especially when I'm hitting her" - oh the old ladies faces.
Priceless
 

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