Green fingers - Lud
I got my car back with a new MoT on Monday, having been pulled by Surrey traffic police on new year's eve when their ANPR magic eye (or some other mechanism) told them the MoT had been out of date since, er, harrumph, September.

I continued my journey to Sussex having been reassured that the plod who pulled me did not intend to lurk round the corner and pull me again, and came back to London the next day keeping my fingers crossed. Then I took the car to the indy mechanic I use, knowing that it might need a windscreen - there was a ten-inch crack on the passenger side - and a bit of welding on one of the sills. Got the windscreen from not-Autoglass for about half the autoglass price, less indeed. Turned out it needed two tie-rod ends too. All of this took around a week to organise, what with a body scan for the mechanic (he's OK) and a funeral in Dublin for me.

My man charged £100 for labour. When I drove the car I could tell immediately that it was running better, with its tendency to stall greatly reduced if not eliminated. I went round to give him the odd two quid from the bill and asked what he had done to it. Looking bashful, he admitted that he had had a bit of time to kill so had taken the inlet tract apart and cleaned everything including the crotchety idle control valve. Car men like that, with mechanical green fingers and a completely positive approach, are beyond price, especially when as in this case their financial demands are modest to put it mildly.
Green fingers - Westpig
Blimey Lud.....admitting to that heinious offence on here....there will be calls for the birch you know
Green fingers - Altea Ego
I always knew Lud was on the edges of the murky underworld, based on his posts in the past, but I never realised just how much he was embroiled in criminal undertakings.

What with his crime and my 9 points we could start our own London gang. You want to be the gay one Lud?

Oh and BTW lud

If I catch you on my surrey patch again you are fish food!

Green fingers - Altea Ego
> their ANPR magic eye (or some other mechanism) told them the MoT had been out of date since, er, harrumph,

Nothing fancy there Lud, that will be the

"cor blimey, look at that shed driving down the road, bound to be something wrong with that, lets give it a tug"

Edited by Dynamic Dave on 10/03/2008 at 19:21

Green fingers - Lud
blimey look at that shed driving down the road bound to be something wrong
with that lets give it a tug"

LOL. I fear you may be right there.
Green fingers - Lud
What with his crime and my 9 points we could start our own London gang.

Forgive me AE, but I understood you to be a rabid suburbanite? I'm afraid the smoke proper might prove a bit complex for you.
Green fingers - Altea Ego

I am east am born and bred. I suckled at the teat of london smoke.
Green fingers - Lud
I am east am born

I see from your demotic delivery that I have misjudged you AE. Still, the effects of even a few years of upward and southwestward mobility are not to be underestimated...
Green fingers - Lud
I know Wp... but it is my general view that motorists, especially with older cars, who imagine themselves never ever to be 'technically illegal' on the road are living in cloud cuckoo land or else are painfully obsessive individuals.

Of course such people, if there are any, can accuse me with justice of being a bit of a slob.
Green fingers - Westpig
when my old car goes through the Mot it never ceases to amaze me that the seatbelts pass, they look well frayed to me....i'm sure a young zealous traffic cop could get me on that one....the old girl has her 40th birthday this year.
Green fingers - Alby Back
If you lot are putting a team together do you need a psuedo hardcase Scottish thug stereotype by any chance ? Got to pay my tax before the end of Jan and could do with a nice little earner.

( Just waiting for WP et al to do the 'ello? 'ello? 'ello? bit now ! )
Green fingers - Westpig
what a pantomime we'd all make.........'behind you'
Green fingers - cheddar
............. the MOT officer ............... what expired ............... good lord ........... in September ............... by jove ............. well spotted officer ............ thank you so much for the reminder officer ............... an offence ..................... surely not a problem officer ............. I will get my man right on to it officer .................. good day to you officer .............
Green fingers - Kiwi Gary
Intriguing conversation, Cheddar. Not sure if you people are allowed to put frames around your number plates with messages, but, in a similar vein, there is one here with the message, "Hello Officer. Just put it on the tab".
Green fingers - Nsar
A proper crew needs a couple of Geordies - remember the line "There are some tough nuts up North Jack, they won't like you poking around....."
Green fingers - normd2
'Put it away Jack, you know you won't use it.....the gun he means'. :))))
Green fingers - Big Bad Dave
You're a big man but you're outta shape. With me it's a full-time job. Now behave.
Green fingers - mjm
If you need an extra hand I'll drive up from the west country, put some viagra drops in me eyes and look hard.
Green fingers - Robin Reliant
What, no-one chipped in with a sanctimonious leecture yet, or perhaps the feeling is that lud is beyond hope?
Green fingers - Lud
... in a thin glass...
Green fingers - Nsar
A massive round of applause to AE who posted this link a while ago - it's solid gold

Warning: if you 've seen the film, you're about to lose half an hour of your life

Oh and there's loads of pics of cars in it!

Green fingers - helicopter
Howay now lads

Watched 'Get Carter ' originally supping my Newcastle Broon , Woodbine in mouth, shirt off in temperature of minus 6 in my back to back with outside lavvy ( or netty) in Gatesheed ....... :0)

How times have changed...

Sunday watched it again actually supping a rather nice Shiraz in a bungalow in West Sussex- I haven't had a ciggy ( or tab ) since 1972 but I do like a nice cigar.

Brilliant movie and of course Britt Ekland getting her kit off was a major influence on my puberty....

Without giving away the ending to those who have not seen it Jack the 'Smoke' hard man gets his comeuppance .....

Sorry AE and Lud but when it comes to hard - Geordie villians rule OK.

Green fingers - Lud
There is an extraordinary, entirely fortuitous, symmetry to this thread. At the risk of annoying AE and sounding poncy, I will tell you what it is.

My mechanic, who actually deserves the title of engineer, was recommended to me very emphatically (and quite rightly) some time ago by a film director friend. That friend, not an intimate really but someone I see often in passing, is the director of Get Carter (and a lot of other movies).

Sorry. But it seemed mean to keep it to myself.
Green fingers - Number_Cruncher
>>who actually deserves the title of engineer,

How? Why?

Green fingers - Lud
I was afraid the mention of symmetry would have some people pawing the ground and snorting...
Green fingers - Number_Cruncher
Sorry Lud, it's like a red rag to a bull!

Its exactly akin to;

I know a really good nurse/builder, so good, she/he's so good, she/he should be called a(n) doctor/architect.

However, what really gets my goat is when companies call their machine operators, mechanics and technicians engineers in order to talk up their charge out rates. It just adds to the public confusion of what engineers actually do.

Engineers don't mend washing machines, household appliances, boilers or photo-copiers (well, they might do as a hobby!, for a bit of fun!) - engineers are more likely to design and manufacture them.

Fundamentally, the problem is that the various engineering institutions don't possess the stones to stand up for their members and demand that engineering becomes a properly registered and controlled profession.

Green fingers - PhilW
You've probably all heard it before but read the other day that a mechanic washes his hands before going to the loo, an engineer washes them afterwards.
Green fingers - cheddar
Seems to me then that if engineers were that good then mechanics would have nothing to do ;-)
Green fingers - Number_Cruncher
>>Seems to me then that if engineers were that good then mechanics would have nothing to do

To an extent, that's been borne out by experience. If the cars of the past were being used in the numbers, over the same milage, and under the same servicing regimes as modern cars, workshops would be much more abundant, and overflowing with custom. De-coke at 10,000 miles?

I don't know what the split is when averaged over all garages and all types of garage, but I supect that routine servicing represents the majority of work done on cars. Of course, there are people rooted in the past who refuse to take advantage of more extended service intervals afforded by the modern technology.

Green fingers - cheddar
I agree NC, but then I was joking hence the ;-)
Green fingers - Screwloose

So, by that definition, you would deny Thomas Telford, the first president of the Institution of Civil Engineers, the title of engineer?

Was he just a jumped-up builder then?
Green fingers - Number_Cruncher
>>you would deny Thomas Telford

No, because his work was to engineer things, he designed, created and managed. There's an extremely strong element of composing the tune, rather than dancing to someone else's.

Green fingers - Lud
Yeah NC, Aprilia's a bit like that too.

Let's not go into the issue of engineers and doctors who aren't as good as the mechanics and nurses they lord it over. We've all seen them though.

My man, an Aussie in I wd guess his late thirties or early forties, calls his firm 'motor engineers'. I've never seen any sign that he is a mere grease monkey except for his black hands. His work is always impeccable, as is his discourse (a bit clipped sometimes, but that's Aussies). He seems to be able to undertake anything. He doesn't overcharge or talk rubbish.

Perhaps he should be regarded as an honorary engineer? I certainly don't intend to ask him what his qualifications are.
Green fingers - Number_Cruncher
>>who aren't as good

Perhaps its more of a case of horses for courses. I don't think many mechanics could design a crankshaft, and there aren't many professional engineers I'd trust to install one.

>>'motor engineers'

That's exactly what my father called his garage too. Knowing which side my bread was buttered on as someone entirely dependent upon his work for my upbringing, I never pulled him up about it!

Green fingers - Pugugly {P}
N_C that last paragraph made me laugh.
Green fingers - Lud
I'd trust my chap to put a crankshaft in any day, and to get the end float right too (which is more than I even tried to do the only time I ever assembled a rebuilt engine).
Green fingers - Cliff Pope
I was intrigued by the reference to the body scan for the mechanic. Was that a precaution to make sure he hadn't swallowed a washer or something while lying underneath?
Green fingers - Baskerville
Engineers don't mend washing machines household appliances boilers or photo-copiers (well they might do as
a hobby! for a bit of fun!) - engineers are more likely to design and
manufacture them.

There's an old adage that goes: "You only become a writer when someone else calls you a writer". Maybe it's the same for engineers.


Ask Honest John

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