Re speeding - I agree entirely. The last five years have seen a proliferation of speed cameras and mobile traps - you simply just cannot zoom around now like you used to, and it is becoming more socially irresponsible to do so.
Personally, a couple of close speeding scares over the last three years has slowed me right down - sleepless nights waiting for the NIP has had its effect, and not something I want to repeat. Luck played a big part in the first - tooling along well above the limit on the M40, through a forward facing mobile trap on a bridge. Banged to rights I thought, and cold sweat for the next 150 miles home. Anyway, on arrival, found that the front numberplate which was held on by sticky pads - had slipped down under the front bumper - therefore invisible to the plod video. There is a god .....
Anyway, lesson learnt, and it's amazing the difference in fuel consumption sticking to c70 on the m'way...!
Steve
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For me the real conversion came 28 years ago at the moment that SWMBO announced 'you're gonna be a daddy'. Somehow the notion that a new soul was about to enter the world who would be dependent on *me* did the trick. Maybe it alerted me to the idea that when driving, we all substantially depend on the commonsense of other drivers round us. Is that too deep?
Oz (as was)
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Not at all Oz. I'd agree with that. It's the knowledge that your children depend on you being around that calms you down and makes you more philosophical about things.
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Yes. nothing more to say to that, but it does change us all.
HF
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My dad is now a very sensible, mature driver. He is also 77 - but into his 70s I remember him driving with three figures up in an Audi 80. He is also the only driver ever to demonstrate heel and toe braking to me - on the apex of the bend into Reading Services westbound - and his road positioning, awareness and confidence were second to none for a long time.
Once he got a crappy Rover 214 he seemed to slow down and conform to the old man stereotype a lot more. He is particularly much too cautious about roundabouts IMO. Since he's moved from the Fiesta into the more 'grown up' Focus I really think his driving has improved and become more relaxed and confident again.
Even so, I would count his driving style among the things about him that inspire me. He taught me himself after I failed the first test with a driving school, and I think it's significant that a lot of what my father said was backed up by the instructor, who (also retired now) has a fantastic reputation where I grew up. If I turned into him, at least the way he was in his sixties, I wouldn't mind at all.
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It's amazing, isn't it, how when we are in our teens we think of our fathers as the last people we want to be. And yet as we grow older and have children of our own we begin to realise that our fathers are amazing people and actually an inspiration to us. Jeez, I'm starting to sound like a cheesy American soap here. Sorry. But I hope that you know what I mean.
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Mark Twain had his tongue firmly in his cheek when he said (paraphrasing here) "At age sixteen I was amazed at the depth of my father's ignorance. At age twenty-one, I was amazed at how much he had learned."
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Mark Twain had his tongue firmly in his cheek when he said (paraphrasing here) "At age sixteen I was amazed at the depth of my father's ignorance. At age twenty-one, I was amazed at how much he had learned."
Andy - I think MT did very well to realise that by age 21!! It's taken me a while longer than that........
HF
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RTB and DavidHM,
Agree with both of you. My dad was the person who, in the end, and with a lot of tears on my part, got me through my driving test. I admire him totally, and he also did the same for my brother and 2 sisters.
What hurts me, though, is that the last 2 times I have been a passenger in his car, he has without even knowing it tried to drive through a red light. The horns from other motorists stopped him from continuing, but I'm left in a bit of a quandary here. If he had to stop driving, he and my mum would have no life outside of their local vicinity.
He drives a lot, and I guess he can't be that bad, because my mum is the worst passenger in all the world, even worse than me (so she says).
I don't think I even want answers here, do I, because what I imagine people would answer is not something that I could do.
So I will just revert to my original point, that I can sympathise completely with the situations that others have mentioned.
HF
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I know you don't want answers, but... my father's driving has declined over the last 5 years, but seems to have stabilised and it was coming from a very high level to start with. I would rate him at his best among the 2 best drivers I know.
(The other is a friend who is also a brilliant mechanic, who passed his test first time with no minor faults and whose diagnostic process is simply to listen to the car. It's almost mystical).
He enjoys driving very much and it would break his heart if he had to stop driving. Therefore I'd think very carefully before advising him to stop, as I think that telling him that would be much more risky for his health than any reduction in awareness he has shown so far. Thankfully my mother is only in her early 50s and is a very safe driver, although she is not keen on long distances as he is. (This is a shame as both my sister and I live 200 or so miles from our parents).
Probably I would rate myself higher than my father at the moment, but he is still better than some of my friends who have clean driving records and who are 50+ years younger than him. At some point, I recognise that I am likely to have to say to him that he should give up driving, but I am hoping that it won't be for another ten years. (His uncle gave up at 91, so it's not completely unreasonable).
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David thank you for that. I really appreciate it. You have a very wise head on rather young shoulders, if you don't mind me saying that.
Everything you say rings so true to me, and like you, I think that suggesting that my dad stopped driving would have a terrible effect on him. My mum's only 64, 8 years younger than my dad, but she has never driven, and certainly won't consider that option now. So if dad stopped driving, that would be it for them, as far as travel is concerned.
In the 'old days' my dad was the *only* person whose driving I felt safe with - and now I feel very sad that I don't feel the same anymore.
Good luck to you, David, if you ever have to say those words to your dad - guess we shall both have to do it, at some point - difficult, huh? but many thanks for your post.
HF
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Difficult issue this one. I'm older than you and have been seen this firstly with both grandfathers and now with my father. Your father's high standard of driving is probably a source of great pride to him and there's no doubt he'll be gutted if advised to stop. I think you'll find he probably realises he's not as sharp as he used to be and he's probably mulling it over to himself. Certainly both my grand-fathers limited their driving to well known routes and local trips in their twilight years, eventually the decision to give up almost made itself. In my father's case, he doesn't stray far these days and I can see the same happening. So don't worry yourself too much, these things have a habit of resolving themselves without you having to concern yourself too much.
Baz
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Bazza, I know your post was directed at DavidHM, but I think it's just as relevant to me too, so thanks for writing it.
It's horrible seeing people getting older and not quite so alert and able as they used to be, isn't it?
HF
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Bazza, I know your post was directed at DavidHM, but I think it's just as relevant to me too, so thanks for writing it. It's horrible seeing people getting older and not quite so alert and able as they used to be, isn't it? HF
Yes, I think it creeps up on us all! And the trouble is the roads are so fast and busy these days, all of us need our wits about us all the time. Glad my post was some help to you.
Baz
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>>My dad was the person who...... got me through my driving test.
Got a lot to answer for, that man.
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Aside from our responsibilities to others, etc., I've found that it is one helluva lot *cheaper* to drive with moderation and consideration - not least on insurance.
As a teenager it mattered greatly to me to win the traffic light grands prix. In later years the thought, "How sad am I if I need to prove, at my cost, that I can out-accelerate a total stranger whom I'll never see again in my life?"
Nowadays my pride and joy is a BMW but I'm sad to admit that the 'lack of moderation and consideration brigade' seems to comprise an unduly high % of fellow BMW drivers.
Oz (as was)
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Got a lot to answer for, that man.
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Hehe thanks M!!
And look at it another way - without my dad's driving lessons, you almost certainly wouldn't have the pleasure of my presence on this site. Food for thought, eh?
HF ;)
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