With regard to points made in two recent previous threads (the Backroom moderation and the acronyms ones – and probably a few more I’ve missed, actually) I’ve decided to put my four penn’orth in after all about the “feel” of the BR, and why I don’t post so often these days.
I like a lot of the features of the new site but I think the BR has lost a lot of its bar-room atmosphere, which was an aspect of it I really enjoyed before. I liked the banter, even if it sometimes had the most tenuous of motoring links, which was usually carried out with much humour and little aggression. The site has gone through a number of periods where the tone has become less friendly but this has usually worked its way through after some sensible postings by regular visitors. From my recent visits, it seems to be at that stage again, with some aggressive and intimidating postings that go beyond simple debate and discussion. I’m not necessarily saying here that arguments, for want of a better word, have no place but I always steer clear of controversial postings anyway and don’t want to get involved in unpleasant exchanges. So that’s my own moderation, if you like. I have the power of choice - but even so, I wouldn’t keep going to a pub where the atmosphere was unfriendly.
Which gets back to the bar-room issue. The banter-type posts seem to have decreased over the past months, and even some of those seemed to attract some waspish comment or other about them being trivial and having no place on a forum like this. As I’ve said, I’ve always liked this bit of the site, though I can talk cars as well as the next person – dammit, I’ve got one, haven’t I? – though posts about specific car-related issues are fairly self-limiting (I might read one about Citroens but I wouldn’t probably bother with one about rear flange-sprockets on a twin overhead cam gyratory system). I have opinions about motoring related issues too. I also know that not every post I do make is the epitome of wisdom or wit, and I try never to post just for the sake of it. I’m not saying either that every post a contributor makes needs a reply or acknowledgement, although previously that tended to be the case (not just for me, but for most contributors). But – and here comes the nub of it all - recently I haven’t felt very welcome. I started to feel that nothing I ever contributed was of any interest to anyone, because unless I asked a specific question about some aspect of mechanical difficulty there was a very loud silence. I could be really cynical here and say that was because you blokes (and let’s face it, you mostly are) then replied so you could then come dashing to a girlie’s rescue - though I think that's probably unfair: I don’t think it is a gender issue even if it is obvious that there aren’t many female contributors to the site. So in this virtual pub (as I believe someone once termed it) I began to feel a bit like Billy No Mates at the bar, nursing my pint and trying to muscle in – unsuccessfully and somewhat embarrassingly - on everyone else’s conversations. Well, in the end I got the hint, drank up, and went home.
I really hope that doesn’t come over as mardy; and I suppose in writing this I’ve laid myself open to the very thing I was concerned about, because there’s a part of me that feels my four penn’orth will be of no interest to you anyway (despite what David W. said in his reply to my previous post). Hmmmmm. That does sound mardy doesn’t it?
Oh well, I’ve said it now (finally). One of two things will happen. Either: there’ll be loads of really witty, conciliatory or plain well-considered responses (though hopefully no aggressive, rude, unnecessary ones). Or: nowt. If the former, well, great: I like this site and I want it to be successful, preferably with me playing a minor part in it. If the latter: well, I could take up knitting……
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I can sympathise with the loud silence bit sometimes, it can be almost deafening, tends to go away once you make a lot of posts somewhere though...
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There is indeed a lot of fur flying around at the moment. I find it amusing.
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Carole,
OK so I enticed you to take the trouble to type that lot out again...it would be rude not to reply......I am looking somewhat nervously over my shoulder though.
The forum does/will evolve over time and this can involve oscillating about a middle line or perhaps swinging to one side or the other for good. To be realistic it is perhaps true those who used to respond to you have either left or are uncertain as to the "off topic" rules*. The forum does tend to be a comfortabe place for those who fall into the range of the masses at any particular time. Perhaps it is true that you (and I think I'm also included now) are not quite in that groove and only time will tell if things might swing back your (our) way.
*Please excuse Toad (was Dave) from this, he knows how to play the off-topic game to the limit.
In any case it is not for us to dictate (offering polite reasoned opinion is always fair game though) but to see how it goes.
To be honest some of the best info and contacts I've gained here over the past year/s have been off the topic of motoring..like on PCs, laptops, mobile phones, music, DVD players, SWMBOs USA travel enquiries etc etc. From my viewpoint as long as these posts keep under ten percent of the total no real harm is done and the community spirit thrives.
I'll leave it at those moderate thoughts that do not offer criticism.
If Martyn wasn't away he'd be so pleased to see one of "his girls" back, he liked the girls.
;-)
David W
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David
Too true about some of the most interesting posts being off-topic.
One which come to mind is the one on trains, which brought out an incredible number of anoraks, proving perhaps that many of those interested in motoring share a love of all things mechanical.
It would have been a shame if over-enthusiastic moderating had labelled that off-topic and curtailed it. (Although I suppose one could always put a motoring link in by including "Whilst driving to the station"!)
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If you are feeling unpopular Carole just start a thread with 'Speeding' in the title and you are guaranteed a big response.
Alternatively a Post such as this one which questions how the forum should be run/moderated and how people should respond to posts is another guaranteed winner ;-)
I've been posting here for a year now and it has changed over that time. I simply avoid posts where it starts to get too heavy and just comment on things i know something about or have a interest and i'm not offended if nobody responds to my posts.
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Whatever happened to that boy from Brazil and his off-topic posts?
No, I exaggerate, I seem to recall one about jumping into a car!;-)
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Well said, Carole. Wouldn't it be nice to expire on a desert island, free to chuckle without restraint or rebuke? Was that you in the Peace Gardens this afternoon?
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Don't go Carole, come here and use my shoulder to cry on if you wish. If it makes sense then bear in mind that the chemistry of a face to faces conversation i.e. in bar atmosphere, cannot ever be achieved by printed messages. This site come close however. As to the bickering and aggression seen at times ignore, the tide comes in , the tide goes out, surf over it.
I think it great that a female should take such interest in motors I wish SHMBO would do the same. With her as long as the key ignites something and the stick pushed forward makes it move she is happy.
DVD
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>>No, I exaggerate, I seem to recall one about jumping into a car!;-)
oooo, long memory. ouch.
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Yes I thought that was well remembered too, the actual text is well protected by the site search though!
David W
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Carole I turn up in this virtual bar room from time to time - although yours must be some distance away from me because I've had to guess what 'mardy' means...
Anyway, I take the view that I am a guest on this site (99% of the time in the BR bit), and it is up to the host how they want to run it. If I don't like it then I must drink up and find another watering hole as you say. In the back of my mind (if this analogy will stand it) is the thought that the host with the most will usually try and please his guests. After reading this week's posts I think a majority of fellow guests appreciate the non-motoring banter (and sometimes very helpful advice) that slips in from time to time.
Another site I visit regularly has just caused 'members' to leave in droves to hastily set up msn groups to keep their community going in the way they like. It would be a great pity if that happened here. (Not a threat by the way, Martyn!)
Who is on the girls roll call these days anyway? Me, you, Helpless, Rita...is Dorian a girl? Makes me smile when the blokes get the wrong name, there's not that many of us to remember is there?!
Meet you in the Ladies (if there is one in this bar) for a gossip!
Rebecca
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Mardy means sulky, moody. As in mardy-a***. Unique to the midlands apparantly.
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No, it's not.
I know these things..............
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And ...
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It's been lurking north of the midlands for longer than I care to remember, laddie.
I DO know these things...............
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Paul -
"I know these things..." is my phrase.
So gerroff.
Rita.
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Sorry, Rita, I've known these things for many years and haven't seen yours before, so we have a copyright conflict.
Handbags at dawn?
I'm easily confused, too..................
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You all realise that Carole is probably a man.
"She" probably has a beard and drives a 40 ton truck.
The female posts really get the right hand boys going.
Yours
Shirley
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You all realise that Carole is probably a man. "She" probably has a beard and drives a 40 ton truck. The female posts really get the right hand boys going. Yours Shirley
How pleasant....... not.
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Agree with all of that. Ages since I heard the word 'mardy', too! I do read most of the female postings here, since they are often more interesting, or at least approach things from a different angle. Of course, you don't know who's read an item unless they reply - some counter showing the number of reads would be useful, IMHO. Can I buy you a virtual pint?
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NO YOU CAN'T, but you CAN buy me a REAL one..............aaaaargh!
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Well, it’s taken me a while to catch up on this thread, but I’ve been busy, what with seeking counselling for my mardiness (colloquial Northern expression, which does indeed mean something akin to sulky or moody - you see, this site IS a useful fount of information! Tha learns summat new every day).
I enjoyed reading all the replies – lots of common sense as usual plus a few chuckles. Nice to talk to you again, by the way, David. The subject of my original post wasn’t a cunning ploy to get a guaranteed response, you know, but I’m glad it worked as it did!
I’ve often pondered the notion of this type of medium as a communication tool; it intrigues me, and I know it intrigues others too. And I also know its limitations. Being part of the BR isn’t just about a chance to put one’s four penn’orth in though, is it? – sometimes it’s about popping in just to see who’s in the bar, and perhaps have a listen at what’s going on. I do this quite regularly. I don’t always have time for much else. Mind you, it often happens to me that just when I am ready to stick my head above the parapet and start a thread, someone reads my mind and starts it off first. Must try to be more obscure in the next topic I fancy raising.
As for the female input into the site: yes, we are quite a small band. But at least there won’t be a queue in the Ladies, Rebecca. (I’ll politely refrain from responding to Big Man 2 – not like me, actually, but there you go.)
Thanks for the shoulder, DVD. Oh and JBJ – it’s your round.
Not a motoring reference in sight.
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Why is that as soon as I offer someone a drink, everyone else suddenly has an empty glass?
(For those operating in Flat View, the original offer was to Carole!)
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Ah, but that was Carole, wasn't it? Oh b*gger!
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.............bigger what ?
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A bigger round, I expect!
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