If you do a worldwide search you can buy keychain peppersprays off ebay.
And promptly get arrested for assault. Not recommended.
HF, although the dents are visible, do they prevent you driving your car or make it unroadworthy in any way? If not, forget about claiming. Your car, where you know every hiss, squeak and rattle, is worth more to you than an insurance cheque and all the grief of finding a new car.
Unfortunately in this day and age you can forget common decency and chivalry. May I wish personal discomfort of an intimate nature on those that bore you ill will.
ps - nice to see you back :o)
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I'm sorry that this has happened to you. No doubt most of us on this site have experienced this kind of behaviour either directly or indirectly.
Sometimes its's very difficult to bite your tongue and walk away, particularly if you have been wronged, but basically it's what you have to do to stay safe.
For every twit like this idiots) there are many who would no doubt act in the exact opposite way and help. They are not so memoprable tho'.
At least you are both safe.
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One other thought. You've told the police you don't want to continue with the complaint. You are in the fortunate(?) position of having physical evidence of the criminal damage inflicted on your property. In such a case it isn't simply a case of your word against the other parties, as is usually the case.
I would urge you to reconsider. What if next time these filth act like this it is a frail elderly couple or someone with a weak heart? What happens if you see them again in the street? (unlikely I know) Whilst they are unlikely to recognise you I can assure you that you will recognise them, with all the fear and upset that will cause you. Letting them off won't make you less fearful of another incident.
My personal opinion is that scum like this have to be stood up to, otherwise they continue to chalk incidents like this up as a "victory" in their small and pathetic lives, which in some way validates their actions to their pea-like minds.
Ultimately the decision lies with you, but I would ask that you and Rob talk it over again before letting it rest.
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Well said No Dosh. Sometimes you have to 'stand up and be counted' particularly when damage like that has been caused.
Even if the police take no formal action, because it is construed that Rob started things with his slap, consider the small claims court.
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Cardew - I do agree with that utterly, which is probably why I was so quick to leap out of the car to tap nicely on the other people's window. Now I'm just thinking 'look where that got me'!
And something like the small claims court, I think, with people like this, would be a big no-no because then they'd have all my details and could exact whatever revenge they wanted.
It's a toughie and a real moral dilemma. Hopefully with continued advice from here I'll come to the right decision.
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You have my sympathy for what must have been a shocking and frightening experience.
I had an experience a few years ago, not to bore you with the details, that brought home to me the fact that you simply don't know who you are dealing with (remember also the M25 murder?).
Tempting as it might be to react to being cut up by gesticulating, blowing horn, flashing lights etc you are potentially taking your life in your hands. People who drive anti-socially are not, either, going to respond to the disapproval of more reasonable folk so there's little to gain and everything to lose.
I don't normally preach but have posted this as serious advice - I had a serious chat with my daughter, herself a careful and considerate driver, about this recently when she hooted at a speeding overtaker.
The danger is in assuming that because you are reasonable, they are. If they aren't, it can be difficult to extricate yourself unharmed, mentally and physically.
Let's be careful out there!
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HF that's awful!!
So sorry to hear what's happened, it must have been very frightening and upsetting to see that happen to your pride and joy.
Definately don't let it write the car off, if possible just get the dents pulled out and made less noticeable, far better than writing off a trusted car!
We *must* talk soon on AOL, there's so much to catch up on.
I hope you get this sorted out ASAP with the minimum of hassle and expense.
Blue
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First, thanks to you all. My memory isn't what it was, but will try to keep my posting level down by answering in one post rather than bore you with individual replies. So apologies for typing errors, have been off this machine for so long that I seem to have forgotten how to type. (and no need for anyone, Mark, to comment on the fact that my typing's always been rubbish).
First, Sooty - things like the pepper sprays are very tempting! But, as ND says, I'd then be the one that got arrested. Crazy, but so true these days...
ND - No, the dents don't prevent me driving, or make the car unroadworthy. I'm just very annoyed with myself that previous owners kept it so relatively prisine and now I've gone and got it beaten up. I feel very guilty.
I won't bother claiming - the last thing I want to do is lose the car, strange as it may sound.
Thank you for your sentiments about those who did this. I guess you're right about the age of decency being gone, which is a depressing thought. Although I think maybe we were just unlucky in meeting scum - there are many pockets of them around these parts, although most people I'm sure are decent. (can I name and shame their car make and reg number? - only kidding)
As for recommending pressing ahead with the police - well, two thoughts really. I doubt it would be up there with police priorities (and quite rightly so) but also I am terrified of them recognising me in the street and what the implications of that might be.
I take what you're saying about maybe someone more vulnerable being their next victim, and I will think on what you have said. However, I do have my two kids to think of, and I wouldn't put it past these lowlife to put a brick through my window or something even better through the letterbox.
That makes me sound like a coward, I know - but we do have some truly dangerous people round here (but don't let that stop you visiting!!;) ) We'll talk it over. Oh and ta for the welcome. Bet you've been missing me like crazy! ;)
Halmer - thanks for your sentiments. You're absolutely right, and I learned a lesson (I hope) yesterday. I appreciate what you're saying, too, about us not remembering the good acts and the decent people so well.
Manatee - again, thank you. It' wasn't a pleasant experience. And yes, I won;t ever forget the M25 murder, in fact there are family connections with that in my hometown.
I don't take your comments as preaching - purely as good advice which, hopefully, I will follow if anything like this happens again. You are *so* right about the mistaken assumption that people are going to be reasonable! A very good point which I guess we should all remember. Thank you.
Blue - hello! It's great to *see* you! Yeah it was pretty awful at the time. I was in a daze as it happened to be honest, but afterwards I was a quivering wreck!
As above, I won't write it off, no way (had to get a new battery yesterday before The Incident, want my money's worth!), but I think I will have to live with the dents. Money's a bit tight at this time of year - just, as said before, furious that I was the one that has caused the first damage to an 11 year old car!
AOL (AIM) yes, soon as possible. I don't even have it on the computer at the momsnt, because of all the problems we've been having, but I'll get in touch by email if I continue to have internet access - very touch and go at the mo! Take care.
Again, thanks for all comments and advice, which will be sorely heeded in future.
HF
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If it's any comfort HF, I bet that car will NEVER be shown any curtesy by ANY of Rob's bus driving colleagues in the future!!
Hugo
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Well, Hugo, if that is the case then I presume I am well within my rights to aim 7 or 8 well-precisioned karate-style kicks at the rear of each bus which does not give my beloved the respect it deserves. (the car, not Rob - he hasn't yet been reduced to being called an 'it'. ;))
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Sorry I meant the other car - not your astra.
Hugo
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I'm sorry to say it more forcefully than others but you bought all of this on yourself HF.
No-one has a *right* to any particular space and it is possible to make a mistake and drive into one someone else thinks is theirs.
I've done it and been walking away firing the remote lock before a shout comes..."oi that was my space". Well pardon me but do I really need to watch the cctv replay, say sorry , get in my car and look for somewhere else. No I walk off and do my shopping.
The thing is parking spaces are always "neutral" ground but the moment you tapped on the window you started to invade their space...and then the moment Rob "tapped" on the boot he seriously invaded their personal space.
Folks get stabbed behaving like you two....doesn't make it right but it happens.
Self preservation and defensive behaviour at all times can prolong your life!! In the car park just as on the road.
M.M
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M.M,
I take your point, and I have to say I agree with you. If I had not got out of the car in the first place (even though it *was* with polite intentions) none of this would have happened. Which is why I am so angry at myself.
I *would* beg to differ, however, about the fact that this pair innocently drove into the space. I have, like you, seen that happen on many occasions and - well, it just happens, doesn't it?!
Perhaps my overreaction was down to Xmas shopping nerves - which doesn't excuse me at all, I know, but at this time of year it's impossible to find parking which is why I feel that these two thought they'd pip us to the post.
What I cannot explain here, because of course most of you don't come from around here (and naively I don't know whether this is an across-the-country thing or not) is that we have an awful big contingent of what has, over the years, become known, rightly or wrongly, as the 'Pikey' community. (the people with Rolls Royces parked up in their front gardens alongside the shopping trollies). These people will stop at nothing, and truly are beyond the law.
I think we may have been unlucky in that I feel these two were of that kind of community or at least of that mentality. (hope that's ok to say).
But, M.M, you are absolutely right. And possibly, had I not been told by Rob to get back in the car I might have been stabbed there and then. Who knows?
I have learned a lesson that I knew long ago, only seem to have forgotten recently - keep away from confrontation at all times.
Thanks for your post. I'm ashamed to say that I cannot disagree with any of it.
Keep safe all, please.
HF
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HF sorry to hear about your horrible experience.
Unfortunately in this day and age we cannot do anything. I have to agree that I would have probably done what you did. Only this week I plucked up courage to say something to someone who was Q jumping in a shop. I got the mutters of something not repeatable but I was quite within my rights.
I do think people become more aggressive in their cars and there is no need for it. What kind of world have we made ourselves live in.
Take care and Happy Xmas, hope this hasn't put you off shopping as you are all keeping me in a job ;-)
GC
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GC Thanks for that.
I know exactly what you mean about not even being able to say something in a shop, when people barge in front of you. (and the plucking up of courage in the first place is quite an achievement sometimes, isn't it? To find yourself then pushed down is quite crushing). Took me a lot to try and stick up for our parking space - sounds pathetic but it did. And, despite this thread having differing viewpoints, I don't disagree with anythinmg anyone has yet said. (Unless anyone has mentioned *truly* getting rid of the Astra - if so I've missed it, and may a thousand holly leaves come tumbling down around their shoulders).
Season of goodwill to all men, eh?
Happy Xmas to you too, and to everyone else here. I was never into shopping in the first place but this time of year it's a kind of 'needs must' thing isn't it?!
Take care, and (assuming you are working in a shop?) I hope us maruading customers don't give you too much hassle.
HF
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How are you M.M? Haven't heard from you for a while.
Whist I have benefitted greatly from your wisdom in the past. I am sorry but I must disagree with some of what you have said.
Yes, HF and Rob should have opted for the "go somewhere else" mode, but that does not justify the behaviour of the other party, who seemed to justify criminal damage to the Back Room Astra on the basis of a few choice words. This idiot needs to take responsibility for his own actions, not simply blame them on other people. That is why HF IMO should have pressed charges. Her details would have been kept private from the other party.
However, practically speaking we all have to assume that the other driver is a cycotic zombee, unless we know different or we see that Astra (in which case we know the driver is a....) ;-)
Hugo
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...fantastic, youthful and wonderful lady, fitting in perfectly with that old Jerry Hall quote. With a car that could quite easily do significant damage to people that are not nice to its owner.
Agree with both you and MM, Hugo - I know I was wrong to do something, but at the same time, as ND says, there is still the 'don't let 'em get away with it' attitude too.
Jury still out on whether to leave this or not. At the moment it's about 10-2 in favour of trying to forget about it, because I just feel bad about harming my own car, which probably sounds pathetic.
HF
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Now I am not being condescending here (or using big words that I have probably spelt incorrectly) but have you considered a self defence class, what if you were to meet them again on your own (or worse with just your children).
The only reason that the low lifes get away with it is that nobody stands up to them.
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Sorry but I'm with Halmer on this one.
I was in a similar decision making predicament a while back.
My car needed 2 new doors when it was hit on the side while parked outside my elderly parents house. Their house was one of a row of specialy adapted bungalows which should never have been built in the less than desirable area they were in.
Needless to say I was livid when I seen the state of my car and soon discovered who was responsible as they had the gall to park their car, along with some of my paintwork, less than 100 yards away.
As I said this was a less than desirable area and the scum responsible were not the type of lowlife you would like to mess with.
A neighbour had by now appeared on the scene and calmed me down and I eventualy made the decision to turn the other cheek and pretend that I did not know who had collided with my car.
Had I not made this decision I would have been worried sick for my parents plus I would never have beeen able to park my car safely outside their house anymore.
Call me soft,stupid, or whatever you like but I know that I made the right decision at the time.
Regards Mal.
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Puntoo, you are certainly not being condescending (or, as far as I know, spelling incorrectly!) in what you say.
It's a very valid point, and I have in fact often considered self-defence courses. More recently, I have been looking into them for my kids, but unfortunately at the moment football and, of course, rugby, are far more cool. Perhaps if someone could provide a national hero Judo champion or something....? I am not belittling your point - and you are right, if I was to come across those people tomorrow and they recognised me there's a chance that I might be in serious trouble. However, if danger to my kids was involved, I truly think the instinct would take over and anyone who tried anything would hopefully regret it. I don't know but I hope so.
Mal - no need to be sorry, your point is as valid as everyone else's here. and I have to say I am still in agreement with everyone's points, both those who can see why I did what I did and those who think I was stupid. You were totally right in what you did, self (and family) preservation is always first and foremost.
I think I will shut up for the night, but I do appreciate seeing both sides of the situation.
Thanks again all,
HF
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