December 2001
I was watching the Simpsons last night and cracked up when the following happened...
Homer and his family were on safari in Africa and Marge and the kids were shouting with excitement at all the animals strolling across the savannah with a huge setting sun behind them.
And what did Homer do? He got his camera out and took a picture of the jeeps speedo-the mileometer had just clocked up 10000 exactly and he thought that was much better!!
Made me laugh :0) Read more
When we're complaining about the idiots who designed/built our car it may help to cast our minds back to our first new car.
In my case I had just gone to New England in 1963 and was chuffed to be able to buy a new car. I had left a Standard 10 and Morris Minor at home. At home you're talking about Vauxhall's new antirust Victor Mk2 and the Mini was getting established and there were various 1.5 litre British Leyland Wolseley and Riley shells on the Minor floorpan.
I tried to buy a Beetle but the demand caused a 3 month wait so I went for a Rambler American 220.
A bit bigger than the Victor, the styling seemed just right to me - decent big chrome bumpers (strong enough to be used for the jack) and, according to the brochure, the only ball-bearing ashtray in the industry.
The Rambler looked very modern but it had some primitive features. It had some large engine known there as an L-head (side-valve) and a 3 speed column shift but it still needed the suspension greasing. At least I knew enough to specify electric wipers - it came with vacuum wipers as standard. I had specified a limited slip differential but later I was able to get out of my car on the driveway and see one wheel spin in the snow.
Safety was basic. It came too soon for the (Nader inspired) collapsible steering column but it did have dual circuit brakes. The seat belts were just lapstraps and since their use was voluntary the front bench seat was handy at times and it was effectively a 6-seater. Unbelievably it came without a windscreen washer and I can remember driving behind lorries to pick up some spray. Not knowing any better, I can remember driving to Montreal with our baby in a playpen which just fitted on the rear seat. We were lucky I suppose.
Unfortunately I ordered it in black with black seats ( a colour popular with gentlemen of the cloth which I'm not) and the New England summer was hard to bear without airconditioning - try sitting on the seat buckle wearing shorts.
The engine block eventually cracked and AMC replaced it but apart from that it served us pretty well for 5 years and by British standards was rustless.
When I returned to the UK in 1968 the Cortina seemed like an eggshell by comparison (and probably was).
Sorry this is so long. Read more
The two litre SC would clock around 30mpg. The 2Litre was a gruff unit , it didn't help when they rebored it to 2.2 and then added another carb !
Cheer up all you people over there who complain the cops are harassing you. Try this one from this week's Far Eastern Economic Review:
LAW OF THE ROAD: Law-enforcement bosses cancelled all leave and deployed a vastly increased police presence on a recent day in Karachi. The result? A spate of crimes were committed, including 56 vehicle thefts--reportedly a record for a single day.
How come crime goes up when there are more officers on the streets? The Dawn newspaper reported that some police get so busy with their traditional hobbies of harassment and extortion that criminals have a field day. "Extortion has occupied police's entire attention and it is significantly telling on their performance," it said. In effect, officers add to the number of crimes committed--and because corruption is a seasonal pastime, it booms in the holiday season. "Police's extortion activity has been allegedly gaining momentum as Eid is approaching," the newspaper said.
Corrupt officers block roads and get money out of motorists--but there is still a big rise in the number of vehicle thefts. That's because police tend to harass the poor and middle class, who typically drive motorcycles. "They never bother to stop luxurious cars to check their papers," the paper said. This lack of impartiality "facilitates car-jackers," it added. Read more
R500? about 70 litres of petrol (to keep it motoring!)
The d&d fine can be as much as R24 000 (and a possible ban), i think, so in financial terms,he scored.
I am thinking of renewing my AA membership but a Daily Telegraph writer, some months ago, wrote that the/a senior spokesman for the AA is a non-driver. Is this tue - the AA said they cannot confim it. If it is I will join the RAC. How he got through the job interview - God only knows. Read more
Autonational Recovery are very good in my experience. But remember that the man who actually comes out to your breakdown may well be from another organisation anyway.
When my clutch link went a few months ago, it was actually an AA man who appeared. He fabricated a domed washer at the roadside and got the clutch working again.
My son and my daughter-in-law both have middle sized company cars. My d-i-l has it purely as a perk, doing virtually no company mileage. However my son does do quite a lot of business miles. Under the new tax regime she will pay much less in tax, but he will pay more. Something haywire there? Read more
If you use your own car for business, from April 2002 you can claim 40p a mile tax free from your employer for up to 10,000 miles, and 20p a mile thereafter. So there is a tax concession.
HJ
I have an 11 year old non cat but fuel injected Toyota. There have been occasional cold running problems so I took it into my local main dealer for a diagnostic.
They said my "CO2 was very weak" although everything else was fine. They have adjusted it -- but what precisely did they mean?
Incidentally, there was a fault code 28 showing up in the memory, which relates to nothing in the manual. Anyone else ever seen this?
I'll give Beadles Toyota of Medway their due, they only charged me the quoted price for 1/2 hour's labour even though it took them a lot longer. They did everything they said they would and more.
It only went in yesterday so I won't know for certain till a week or so if the adjustment worked. Read more
Thanks for that, David. I had no problems at all from cold yesterday, although there generally aren't anyway on dry mornings. The car certainly seemed livelier. Beadles said they'd given the plugs a clean as they were dirty -- would this add credibility to your theory? (I drive 10.5 miles each way to work, and it's a good clear fast run generally. The day before the diagnostic I'd done a return motorway journey of 50 miles, so I don't think short runs are responsible for plug fouling.)
Thanks,
Danny
when i was in the whitley bay branch of SAFEWAY, i saw the strangest thing, 'try before you buy' on toilet roll, i dread to think about it. Read more
are you saying that people in whitley bay dont have toilet rolls.
December 1st
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place
on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked
eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols ... feel free to sing along.
And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light
the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time;
however, no gift should be over $10. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty Lewis - Human Resources Director
December 2nd
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with
Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we're
calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are
celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no
Christmas carols sung. Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Patty Lewis - Human Resources Director
December 3rd
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this request, but,
don't forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, "AA Only," you won't be anonymous
anymore. In addition, forget about the gifts exchange-no gifts will be allowed since the
union members feel that $10 is too much money.
Patty Lewis - Human Researchers Director
December 7th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet
and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other.
Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay men; each will have their table. Yes, there will
be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table. Happy now?
Patty Lewis - Human Racehorses Director
December 9th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
People, people-nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus!
Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation
to our own "little man in a red suit."
Patty Lewis - Human Ratraces
December 10th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
Vegetarians-I've had it with you people!! We're going to hold this party at Luigi's Open Pit
whether you like it or not, you can just sit at the table farthest from the "grill of death,"
as you put it, and you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you know,
tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream.
I'm hearing them right now. Ha! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me?
The Bitch from Hell!
December 14th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness.
I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided
to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Terri Bishop - Acting Human Resources Director
_________________________________________________________
. Read more
When I worked for the mighty Thorn EMI, our department's Christmas do was always organised according to these basic rules; food, money behind the bar (but not enough for whole evening), noisy room with band, activities etc., quiet room for folk to talk or argue, and transport home for all. It semed to work.
Good luck David.
God will forgive Bin Laden.
The US Marines will arrange the meeting. Read more
There was a 'Revival evanglest" who before he hit town in the 80s would flood the area supporters with yellow and black stickers that said...
"I Found it!" with a smile face...
within 24 hours exact copies (with a frown face) in style and typography were also all over town saying;
"I Lost it!"
then a few days later
"I Stole it!"
Etc Etc It went on for a few months long after the tent show had been and gone
Also seen in the last month or so;
Old grammarians never die, they simply parse away.
I have been running our ex-sales manager's Rover 75 for the last 3 weeks. I am enjoying it a lot. It's an 1800 club with 30K on it and I thought it a bit underpowered until I nailed it in third in the interests of research. The engine seems more willing now. It stands out from others in the car park, it has a supple, refined ride and a comfortable driving position. My skill doesn't extend to taking it to the limit, but it has safe, settled understeer in normal driving. All my passengers (aged from 5 to 48) have remarked on the classy interior with chrome and wood around. The engine is a bit buzzy when opened up but it's enirely adequate. The tank is a bit small giving about 350 mile range and it has done 33 uncorrected mpg over the last 1200 miles.
The best thing about it is, the ambience of the car has completely removed any aggression or competitive urges. I don't know if it's the oval black on cream dials or the excellent cool-air-to-the-face climate control, but whatever it is, it's working. Bus drivers have been allowed to pull out, no headlamps or horn have been directed at the hooligans in their 4x4s who come down the slip road 2 abreast from Scotch Corner onto the A1. I don't know how long it will last ...
My point? If you are considering an exec. 5-seater, try Mr. Towers' offering and see if it puts a smile on your face. Read more
Shame about the diesel. Rover 75: 114bhp. Latest version of the same BMW engine in the 320D: 150bhp. Very mean of BMW.
HJ
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I have a SWMBD !
lol