Audi S£ and ponytail? - Normal bloke
Dear Mr Audi S3 Driver,

I am so sorry for delaying your Friday evening rush hour journey west bound on Birmingham Broad Street. I do understand that by waiting a short time to let those two vehicles turn right I imposed an insufferable delay on your busy schedule. I realise that perhaps you had not noticed the queue 30 yds ahead at the red traffic lights, but once we both joined said queue some 10 seconds later than we otherwise would have done was it necessary to carry on so alarmingly. You know one day you will do yourself an injury.

Oh, and another thing, once we got to the two lane bit on the approach to the lights by the Novotel another 100 yds up the road, they were red again by the way. Mind you don?t think you noticed that as you were too busy putting in that overtaking manoeuvre with that burst of acceleration you no doubt thought was so impressive. Well not that impressive actually. Probably you did not see the alarmed expressions on those pedestrians who had to get out of your way pretty damn quickly. No I think not because you were too busy ranting and raging and NOT LOOKING WHERE YOU WERE GOING. Don?t think the guy at the back of the queue you just avoided hitting was too impressed either by the way.

However you did give us two laughs.

Laugh one? Well I assume you did intend to turn right, did not see it myself, too busy observing the traffic, pedestrains and other hazards, plus picking the line of least resistance you see, but I am told your face was a picture as you sat in the right turning lane and we sailed past with merry bye bye waves from us all.

Laugh two? Due to my explanation why I was sure you would be a ponytail wearer. You know what I mean, lift any ponytail and you always find an @!#$ underneath.

Yours faithfully,

Nomal.bloke@patiencewearingthin.com
Re: Audi S£ and ponytail? - Phil Goodacre
Don't we all meet them at some time. I had a similar incident last evening on the way home. Currently tramming round in a 13 year old AX (everyone should have to do this at some time, it is a sobering experience) which is not the quickest thing on 4 wheels, i was waiting patiently at a roundabout, quite busy, when this Golf Gti, complete with blazing fog lights (it was a perfectly clear evening) came screeching off the roundabout, exiting at the road I was waiting in, then proceeded to do a U-turn just past the centre refuge, trying to slot himself in behind me. Succeeded in blocking traffic coming off the roundabout, which at least gave me the opportunity to pull out. Said pratt, who was now chatting eagerley on his mobile, was now heading in the same direction as me. Now as I said, the AX is not exactly a McLaren F1 and Mr Pratt was obviously incensed that I was not progressing at a more rapid pace. He then proceeded to overtake me, still on his mobile in his right hand, changing gear with his left, heaven knows what he was using to steer. He even found the time to glare at me and give me the finger as he passed just before he realised that there looming up in front of him was a centre refuge. No problem for this lunatic though who promptly drives around the wrong side of it and speeds off (40 limit) giving me the benefit of a V sign as a bonus. What he failed to spot though was the nicely chequered white Volvo sitting in a bus lay-by on the other side of the road, who had a cracking view of proceedings and had obviously been paying attention as they immediately did a swift u-turn and set off after him. I passed him shortly after at the side of the road, sitting in said Police car looking very sheepish. Couldn't resist slowing down to give him a wave and a smile as I passed. Justice!
Re: Audi S£ and ponytail? - THe Growler
Glad they got him. Those behaviors should merit immediate arrest and jail. Perhaps tripping accidentally a couple of times and falling down a couple of times while in custody, thus having to be cuffed and restrained to protect himself as well.
Re: Audi S£ and ponytail? - Tomo
Something about Volkswagen Group? Some of these "green" materials gassing the drivers?

Wonder how long I'd get to park in a bus lay-by, though!
Re: Audi S£ and ponytail? - Lee H
This is the kind of story that warms the heart. Instant Karma
Re: Audi S£ and ponytail? - KB
Phil, Thank you for your heartwarming tale re Golf GTi. We all make mistakes, but I'm pleased this bloke got his come-uppance.
Re: Audi S£ and ponytail? - Dave N
Long may his wishbones snap at an inoportune moment!
Re: Audi S£ and ponytail? - Dave Y
Not often one has the pleasure of seeing such instant, just, retribution!
Re: Audi S£ and ponytail? - john
But what I would be deeply interested to know is did either of these wallys actually break the speed limit at any time. And if they did was THAT such a crime?
Re: Audi S£ and ponytail? - Tomo
It's curious, but righteousness and vindictiveness often seem to be two sides of the same coin.
Re: Audi S£ and ponytail? - Pony Tail Man
I am a man who has a ponytail and yes, I am @!#$.

All Pony Tails are the same!

Pony Tail Man.
Re: Audi S£ and ponytail? - richard turpin
I know you, normal man. You sit in the outside lane at 70 and stop anyone else from overtaking because you are RIGHT and everyone else is wrong. You also get in the inside lane 800 Yds before the other one will be closed. You then become furious and agitated when the sensible people legally go past to feed in without problem 800 Yds further on.
Why don't you just relax a bit. If someone else wants to go faster than your 20 MPH, just let them. If your old crate won't make it, get an Audi A3. BUT don't get a pony tail whatever you do. Remember, YOU ARE NORMAL.
Re: Audi S£ and ponytail? - Normal Bloke
Richard,

No you do not know me. Really not quite sure how you infer all the above tosh from the original post, and if you don?t mind me saying so that rant is not worthy of inclusion with your normal contributions. May I ask did you actually read and understand it?

I seem to remember you are based down south so probably you do not know the bit of Broad Street I am referring to. On a Friday evening rush hour its jammed with traffic making its way from jam to jam, with average speed perhaps 10 mph, in other words its not fast. The first section referred to is single lane each way with a central refuge for pedestrians. So its not a case of deliberately holding anyone up, there is no overtaking possibility without someone driving down the pavement. The delay was to allow two cars to take 10 seconds, if as much as that, to turn right across the flow of traffic and then for us to carry on and join the next single file queue which WAS ALREADY SITTING AT A RED LIGHT. Alternative was to drive on and let them wait till the following traffic blocked the junction, as in fact the lot in front had done. Not particularly considerate behaviour in my honest opinion, but then maybe the norm for the Smoke?

Now if I had wanted to deliberately hold the guy up when the road became two lane wouldn?t I have driven in the right hand lane so at least he had to undertake? No when the first set of lights changed I got off the mark smartly following the other traffic, then MADE SPACE IN FRONT OF MY CAR SO THAT THERE WOULD BE ROOM FOR THE AUDI TO FILTER BACK IN LEFT AFTER THE INEVITABLE OVERTAKE. He chose not to do so, probably because he nearly drove up the rear of the chap in front of him.

Now if you or anyone else feels that this conduct on my part was unreasonable then say so, I have no problem with that and would be happy to learn from other?s comments. I might speculate that in your case this could possibly be coloured by traffic experience in the capital where, quite frankly, road manners are such that too many Londoners deserve each other. The prevailing attitude seems to be one of, ?I know where I want to be and its in front of YOU!? Well, even that attitude is fine actually, providing its done in a safe and considerate manner.

The point of the story was not about someone in a powerful car blatting along, but a vehicle user, (not a driver IMHO) who looked no further than 2 feet in front of his bonnet and just wanted to get the next 10 feet as fast as possible to the exclusion of every other consideration especially safety. To answer the additional question raised by John, I would judge that at no point did this include him driving at above the statutory limit, however it did include him driving in an inappropriate manner without consideration for other road users especially vulnerable pedestrians. I do not know whether this could be considered dangerous driving, I think probably not, but certainly a candidate for due care & consideration etc. Something often said on this site the only unsafe speed is the inappropriate speed, the safe speed might be below or above the posted limit, it all depends.

As for sitting in the fast lane at 70 holding everyone up where did this come into it. You sir are living on fantasy island and showing your prejudices. We all know the type of people you are on about and I guess I dislike them as much as others but I don?t get worked up about it just get on with the journey and make best possible progress trying to keep it legal simply for sake of clean licence preservation. If someone wants to go faster I get out of the way, in fact more emphasis on not getting in the way in the first place, regardless of whether the other?s speed is below, at or above the posted limit or whether the other?s driving is good/bad/indifferent or downright dangerous.

As for getting uptight about people filtering in from the right such as at road works. Dear me you have got it so utterly utterly wrong again. Lets assume that 60 people overtake you and get in front at a delay, not often that happens but let us say it did. After the delay once you are all spaced out again at two second gaps, you are only 2 to 3 minutes later than you otherwise would have been, not a problem in my opinion. Actually you might have noticed my comment about taking the line of least resistance. Do you actually know what that means, especially in the two lanes into one situation? I guess not or that you did not read the original post properly.

As for being always right, I?m never always right, but I do try my best which is all one can do. Then try and recognise when a mistake is made and learn from the experience.

As for comment about car performance, lets not get into performance stiistics that just would be too tedious. Yes my car is slower than an Audi S3, not A3 or did you misread that as well. Slower but not as much as I thought it appears surprisingly.

Richard in future please read and understand the post before you rant, or did the crack about lify any ponytail and find a rear end underneath hit a nerve? Or should I have had set humour/irony = on??

Kind regards
Normal
Re: Audi S£ and ponytail? - Mark (Brazil)
>>set humour/irony = on

a VMS user ??? Didn't know there were any these days.
 

Ask Honest John Right column

Value my car