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Plenty over the years, but one has always stuck in my mind. I was working for a courier company out of Swindon and had a van load of print, very heavy. I was driving on the fosse way had just crested a brow of a hill. Had used the road a lot and knew there was a long downhill straight. In the distance I can see a tractor towing a trailer of hay, and an artic overtaking him, I slow down and time things so the truck can finish his pass and I can still make progress. The fly in the ointment was the other artic right behind the first one, my chooses were rather limited I could join him in his cab, but probably not in the same shape or form that I had started the day with, or take my tranny off roading. As my life was not that bleak, and I had a deadline to meet, I choose the latter. The transit did quite well, missed a sign post, a few trees, bounced my way back onto the road still facing the direction I was going but in the wrong lane looking at a very pale couple in their car. Needless to say truck did not stop, but tractor driver did.
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New Jersey Turnpike, US 1 I think, 1973, heading towards New York following a friend in his then almost-new VW 411 Variant auto. I was in my just-bought Plymouth slant six auto which had an oval steering wheel and pushbutton transmission.
Friend was some way ahead. I was in the r/h nearside lane behind an artic. Everyone trundling along at 40 or 50. There was a car over my left shoulder, driving at the same speed as me. Plenty of space between me and the truck. So I floored it hoping kickdown would shoot me forward far enough to come out ahead of that car and move up closer to my friend.
The Plymouth was no muscle car though and gathered speed in leisurely fashion. I glanced left. The carphound was keeping pace with me! Foot still hard down, I looked ahead again. The lorry was braking heavily. Yaroo! I hit the brake pedal. All the wheels locked and the lorry's back end was coming at me faster and faster. I was going under there for an absolute certainty! Aaaargh!
It really does all slow down at such moments. I still find it hard to believe that I managed to do the right thing which began with a counter-intuitive move: I took my foot off the brake pedal to recover some steering, steered right onto the very debris-strewn hard shoulder missing the corner of the truck by inches and straightened up again - American steering remember, at least a whole turn each way with that oval wheel. The tail of the car went out on the second swerve that took me up the inside beside the truck - now moving forward again - and clouted the earth bank, without damage. I stopped there and lit a cigarette. Heart going about 300. One of my nearest ever.
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Sat in traffic, listening to the radio, minding my own business, only to watch in horror as a moth the size of a pack of regal king size climbs out from the windscreen blower vents and decides it wants me as it's new best friend. The traffic of course starts to move and I'm driving along looking like someone's just poured a freezing cold glass of water down my back as the moth flys somewhere behind me. Pulled over a soon as I could, and managed to convince it to leave. Watched it fly off and I swear it was wearing steel toe-capped boots. I don't like moths.
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>>I don't like moths.
Nor do I , since sitting round a campfire one dark night doing my ging-gang-gooly bit with a mug of hot vegetable soup and one of the lumps started fluttering it's wings inside my mouth!
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>>I don't like moths.
I don't really mind them myself. But when one flies around my face when I am reading at night, I get a strange sensation that fur is growing inside my throat. I don't really mind it, it just freaks me out a bit.
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You should have seen the giant oriental cockroach in my room last March... as big as a mouse - but flying
same as in Africa Lud?
Edited by oilrag on 13/06/2009 at 21:48
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Oily, I tried some of that Aldi brandy once too. In my case it was huge spiders.....
;-)
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Many years ago one (Giant Cockroach) was caught and put on my hand as part of the initiation ceremony. Also had to smile (in a cool way) while eating a Ballut which is an egg cooked with a fully formed chick inside. You crack to top and start with the beak.
Then I had to eat a chow pow (or something) knowing it was cooked rat meat. turned out that was a joke (told after having eaten it) After many more such tests - (such as swimming under the keel of a boat) won the heart of the future Mrs Oilrag...
Edited by oilrag on 13/06/2009 at 21:58
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That's kinda cool I s'pose !
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There was an outdoor restaurant behind my hotel in Chad in the early eighties, one of the two poshest in the country. Barbecue and waiters' counter by the bandstand, chairs and tables arranged round the - empty actually - swimming pool. Nice view across the river into Cameroun.
As dusk fell the larger, higher-flying insects were scooped up by huge sniggering furry bats around the nearby trees. The lower, smaller ones were attracted by the patent uv insect trap hanging from the bandstand roof and flew into it electrocuting themselves with constant tiny zapping sounds, their smoking corpses raining down on the ground below the trap. Presently movement was apparent under the tables as numerous frogs hopped silently among the diners' feet on their way from the garden towards the venue of their nightly feast.
Everyone carried one eating in urbane, and it must be admitted less urbane, style. It was the same every night after all.
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There was a bullfrog as big as a football which used to hang around a restaurant in southern Brazil near where I used to live. It had learned that diners would feed it.
I had a Ford Landau at the time which got shot at once in deference to the thread.....
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Ford Landau at the time which got shot at once in deference to
Heh heh... was it hit though HB?
My room in that hotel (in deference to) had a bullet hole in the plateglass window to the balcony. But the rest of the glass was intact, and I have to admit I hadn't been there when the bullet was fired...
By the way, you never said whether or not you were down there in some sort of connection with the leather trade ... I think you want people to believe you were hiding from Curly King or the Richardsons actually....
Edited by Lud on 14/06/2009 at 00:46
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Was driving a Bedford TK along the Albert embankment in London, laden to the hilt with reams of paper, freezing cold morning and ice on road ... a vehicle pulls out causing me to hit the brakes ... lorry starts to slide and I lose all steering & braking control ...
something (up there) straightens lorry out and puts me back on course (and it wasn't me!)
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Never get out of the car at the top of Glencoe and stand looking down into it. ;-)
`Fast Jets` yeah... a bit loud too, at around 30ft.
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`Fast Jets` yeah... a bit loud too at around 30ft.
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I have experienced that when skiing, Harrier exhaust is nice and warm, but a bit smelly.
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I once trapped my flares in the door of my Ford Escort and soiled myself when my foot wouldn't reach the brake pedal.
Edited by Dynamic Dave on 14/06/2009 at 02:40
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Heh heh Halmer, a true story of the seventies... very funny.
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First BMW I had with half decent DSC and ABS software - driving back from a late night job in pouring rain an arrogant rate of knots, lorry pulls out from a slip road, slam on fully expecting a righteous and messy death and the car switches lane as if nothing had happened. I carped myself.
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1967 a bsa c15. passed a lorry after a series of bends, when the lorry driver starts to welly it clouds of smoke and sparks come out of the exhaust into my left eye ( open face helmet with half face visor). heck it was sore, i nearly fell off in front of the truck.
year later on a barracuda ( progress eh? ) going flat out when a low flying seagull smacks off the top of my helmet, good job i had my head down.
the most frightening incident was in the winter going to work on the c15.
hard packed snow with snow banks, in one tricky section i slowed to about 20mph and this fuel tanker driver thinks it is agood idea to follow at less than a cars length. how he was going to stop if i fell off i don't think he had worked out.
didn't have a car in those days so the bike was a neccessary evil in the conditions. jag.
Edited by Webmaster on 17/06/2009 at 02:05
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1985, in my first few months as a car salesman & a chap came in with a mint Capri to PX. We went for a drive in his car (him driving) & I took him to a very tight right hand junction, as per sales process. With the Capri having such a long bonnet he was struggling to see around the corner but I presumed he had seen the motorbike coming our way ......... when he pulled out into it's path!
As the bike bounced over the bonnet of this mint Capri & the rider flew past the windscreen, he said "What the XXXX was that?"
Fortunately the rider appeared unhurt & the driver gave his name, address & insurance details but they agreed on £200 to save going through any insurance.
As we drove back to the dealership he said "so I take it my car's not worth quite what it was a few minutes ago"!
Edited by bonzodog on 15/06/2009 at 21:47
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As we drove back to the dealership he said "so I take it my car's not worth quite what it was a few minutes ago"!
that's reminded me Mr Dog....In 2002 i decided to treat myself (after a divorce) and was looking at buying a new X Type. I was thinking maybe a high spec 2.5 auto, but wanted to experience the difference between the 2.5 and the 3.0 to make sure the 2.5 was up to it and I wasn't missing out too much (ended up buying a 2nd hand 3.0 S Type).
Anyway, a main dealer in the Westcountry was excellent for personal service (sadly they've sold out to a large chain now), so I duly got my test drives.
Now, the Old Bill have taught me to drive swiftly if I wish to... and to make full use of all possible vision opportunities to ensure you can 'make progress'. I duly did that along an 'A' road i knew very well as I grew up down there. There's one bit, with some undulating roads, that also become a bit twisty that you do get a very brief look at the whole road ahead, but if you're not aware you miss it..and i'm not convinced you see much from the passenger side...anyway, I went for an overtake on a lorry that to the uninitiated looked like an overtake with no vision around a corner. The salesman's reaction was hilarious...a big grab of the FM handle and his feet doing a Salsa in the footwell. I confessed all on the boring bit on the way back, but he didn't look overly convinced.
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Westpig in the 1970"s the chief constable of lincolnshire said use the whole road if its safe to do so on country lanes as its safer to cut a line if you can see than to keep to the left
i still use this knowledge but sparingly
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I once had to move my car to let my brother off the drive, I swapped my slippers for an old pair of boots in the garage (the boots were well worn and very comfortable, I never used to fasten them 80 percent of the time). I jumped in the car and moved it off the drive, it then dawned on me that the local rag would have just arrived at the newspaper shop, so I belted up and bimbled to the top of the cul de sac. As I approached the give way my right foot went for the brake and nothing, I pushed harder, nothing, I pushed harder again with panic and just felt the brake pedal, one final push saw the car lurch to a halt well over the give way.
The moral of this story, if you must wear work boots with out fastening the laces make sure you don't shut them in the car door..............................
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Many years ago, concentrating on radio trying to manually tune radio luxemberg, ( you know with a knob on an analogue radio. ) Station found, looked up to see lane going straight up over humpback bridge, vw beetle doing 60 ish, take rallycross leap off road and land in garden of cottage just over the bridge. Very dented car & pride.
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When many people with many years and miles of driving and riding contribute to a long discussion, it is possible to learn quite a lot. Very educational.
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