Since I bought the van I get pulled over for a `chat` around every other trip. "How long have you had it" - either just outside the inspection area - or inside for a longer chat and a not very thorough look in the back.
I`ve tried going through hat (fleece) on and hat off. Sometimes with stubble and sometimes with a long white beard (yes really) no difference.
When asked I always say the month and year of first registration - rather than adding the actual date (which I can remember due to being near my birthday) for fear of triggering a `disbelief response`
I asked once what the criteria was for being pulled over - of course its secret.
There are always two of us, but I notice that it`s usually blokes driving alone that get stopped with me.
I usually get asked what we are doing and where have we been in the VAN and It feels strangely worrying in an unconvincing answer sort of way - saying that we are touring the continent by choice in a van rather than a car due to it being more practical.
Edited by oilrag on 22/02/2009 at 07:42
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"I asked once what the criteria was for being pulled over - of course its secret."
Probably ANPR - oops, hush my mouth... :-)
I've only travelled Speedferries (RIP) recently, but I do think that some cars coming to the UK would be "targetted" at the other side, or en route. After all, UK passport control was in France, and sometimes the UK customs shed was absolutely deserted and in darkness on return.
btw heard of a headline recently (probably made up) - "Police find crack in man's bottom"
Edited by smokie on 22/02/2009 at 09:40
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>>the newspaper had probably meant glovebox
Two points spring to mind:
1. I've been told the first rule of journalism is never let the facts get in the way of a good story. A local newspaper has reported that water bills are to increase on April 1 20093!
2. I was pulled coming through a busy airport. I was carrying SWMBO case (it was much heavier than mine). I shouted to SWMBO ahead of me in the crowd to let her know, at which point I was told they weren't interested as I wasn't on my own.
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...drugs found in gearbox...
Very likely, most things have been tried - tyres, sills, headlining, dummy exhaust pipes/radiator header tanks, inside doors, etc etc,
As regards the crack in man's bottom, men - and women - who try to smuggle drugs into prison are known to use every orifice.
I'll say no more.
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On a flight back from the Balearics, there were one or two pensionable Hells Angels look-alikes, amongst some younger ones. One, limping but jolly and apple-cheeked had an alloy, hollow, walking stick. Confided to his pal in that he had some nice gear tucked away - pause for meaningful glance at vessel for weed. I did think of stopping to have a word with HMCR, but decided that as they would finger me, through pure ineptitude, and we were going to have to wait to get through baggage, I'd let it go. Probably same OAP, stopped in Weybridge. You can't trust granddads these days....
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We were pulled over and the car searched at Poole a few years ago on the way to France.
The woman who looked in the boot said 'did you pack those bags yourself?' I was sorely tempted to say 'the butler did it', but didn't. Luckily she didn't find the secreted packets of smoked back bacon and Stilton.
The young chap who looked under the bonnet asked me what the piece of rag was, stuffed down behind the power steering pump (but nowhere near any moving parts). I told him (to my shame) I used it to wipe the dipstick.
He pulled it out (the rag, not the dipstick), handed it to me and said 'well don't leave it there - I've seen this sort of dangerous thing before'.
Then we were waved on.
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My 'tug' in my OP was back in 87 when there were still limits on booze etc. We had the exact amount of wine for 3 all wrapped up in towels, socks, etc to stop rattling. No baccy. They emptied the lot from the back, clothes, awning ,folding bike and then left me to repack whilst they did inside the car. When asked to lift the bonnet I was getting a little ***** off. I said 'I will, but you won't like what you find' His eyes lit up....actually it was a mega smelly cheese, which was making us ill and had been relegated to the bin I had made on the inner wing to carry jump leads, oil, etc. I still don't know why I brought it 700 mile just to put it in our bin ! Last May, on the bike, there were no passport chex, either in or out...national security...Ha !
Ted
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Customs in Dover have a thing about solo men - but go through with a lady in the passenger seat and they ignore you. I go through with my wife, and she seems to do....
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I often travel alone but am rarely stopped.
One exception was when I worked for P&O, on computers. I was on stand-by one weekend, unable to be out of the area, so was in painting jeans and t shirt. Sure enough I got paged mid Sunday afternoon for a "system down" in Dover, which I attended with obligatory briefcase of bits. Took a bit longer than planned, but was on my way home a bit after 7 pm when I got paged again, this time for Calais freight system down which also required attendance. Got a return ferry about 01:30, still in painty clothes, no coat (now late, and cold!) and briefcase. Not surprisingly, I got pulled on my way back into the UK. As we used to have to frequently do the crossing, I had no duty free, as it was then, so was quickly on my way.
btw ifithelps, I hope you didn't overlook the alternative interpretation of the headline I posted above...
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I've only travelled through customs once on my own and got pulled on the French side of Eurotunnel last year. I didn't know if once I told them I'd been to Holland overnight it set off a few alarm bells......
An English guard with a gun who initially pulled me and did a quick search of the car had a real attitude but the English customs guy who questioned me after was actually quite pleasant.
He had a look through the car and I guessed I answered the questions right, but I did miss my slot and had to wait for the next train.
Chris.
Edited by Chris White on 22/02/2009 at 16:09
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...btw ifithelps, I hope you didn't overlook the alternative interpretation of the headline I posted above...
Don't think I did.
In one sense, it's a gift to the headline writer.
On t'other hand, if the story is what I suspect, drugs in prison is a serious matter and the newspaper will be wary of being seen to make light of it.
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Back in 1990 when there was still a manned border crossing between West Germany and Czechoslovakia (before Germany united and the Czech's and Slovaks split)... coming back into Germany and our car stopped. You could see equipment for taking tyres of wheels etc.
We got asked if we had anything to declare. The very serious officer got us a little concerned (he had a sub machine-gun in his hand)... then started laughing. He was winding us up over how how wine we had in the car.
That was an interesting/memorable trip for various reasons.
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Back in the '70s we got lost and ended up crossing from Holland to Germany at some obscure village. The German official was in the process of emptying the boot and even making us unwrap birthday presents until the Dutch guy came across and started remonstrating with him! I thought it would end up in fisticuffs.
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The very serious officer got us a little concerned (he had a sub machine-gun in his hand)... then started laughing.
2001 or 2002, coming back from Czech Republic into Germany, there was an extremely hip and sardonic German customs man got up as a sort of plainclothes SS officer, leather coat, cold, authoritative manner, and so on. He too turned out to be up for a bit of a joke with the (Skoda-driving) Brits.
I wonder if it was the same bloke rtj?
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We'll never know Lud :-) The one we dealt with asked about things to declare and then asked something like: "one, two, three..." and paused for effect and then added "hundred litres of wine?" We had one bottle of something between us!
Where you'd stash three hundred litres in a Ford Orion is anyone's guess. We had odd looks days earlier when we went into Czechoslovakia.... my brother had checked the border was open 24 hours and you could buy visas on the border. What you couldn't do was buy visas 24 hours on the border! We drove across without a visa and eventually got turned around. The German side were wondering what we were up to :-)
Next morning we bought the visas in no mans land... but my brother's British passport raised a few eyebrows. Issued in Dusseldorf :-)
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Customs in Dover have a thing about solo men
I've been pulled twice there, once alone with a French art-deco stove (warming our sitting room as I speak) weighing down the nose of my Skoda, once with a male cousin of my wife in his Mercedes on the morning of the 1987 hurricane. Small hours (when customs have little to do) both times.
When they had finished going over us on the second occasion, something made me show them my old passport which was stuffed with lurid African and Middle Eastern visas. My wife's cousin still rolls about laughing at the memory of their faces.
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Best hiding place I ever came across was when I was in the Army, many years ago; I was a mechanic with a guided weapons unit, and in those days there was a regular mass exodus over to Sennelager every autumn for exercises.
We used to stuff the empty missile bins full of fags and booze and then disable the engines; the vehicles couldn't be started therefore Customs couldn't access the bins. Previous cubbyholes included the NBC (nuclear, biological and chemical) filters and radio sets amongst others.
Went to France (Portsmouth-Caen) last year on the bikes, was highly amused to see a French couple on a very nice stock Honda CBX get pulled at Caen whilst we (on noisy Harleys) were waved through.
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