The Terry Maxwell Song
My mother said that I never should play with the naughty, rude girls in the wood.
Their giggling talk I could never understand, and that's why I fell in love with my right hand.
And that's why I'm a w*nker, I'm a w*nker and it does me good like it bloody well should.
I'm a w*nker, I'm a w*nker and I'm always pulling my pud.
I was twenty-five years old before I was kissed, and then I found that I preferred a swift one off the wrist.
It's cheap and convenient, you can't catch VD.
It's available at any time and it's absolutely free.
And that's why I'm a w*nker, I'm a w*nker and it does me good like it bloody well should.
I'm a w*nker, I'm a w*nker and I'm always pulling my pud.
Oh, Mrs Palm and your five lovely daughters, thank you for having me and being oh, so kind.
I've got pains in my arms and my dong is growing shorter,
My knees have turned to water, and I think I'm going blind.
I've w*nked over Italy, I've w*nked over Spain.
I've w*nked in an omnibus, I've even had a w*nk in a train.
I've used a badger and a melon and a cat, an inflatable Linda Lovelace, and a Davy Crockett hat.
And that's why I'm a w*nker, I'm a w*nker and it does me good like it bloody well should.
I'm a w*nker, I'm a w*nker and I'm always pulling my pud.
Oh, Mrs Palm and your five lovely daughters, Thank you for having me and being oh, so kind. I've got pains in my arms and my dong is getting shorter, My knees have turned to water, and I think I'm going blind.
Thanks to Doc Cox for his inspration.
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To the bods who say that registration of one sort or another isn't a good thing on this site.................!
I'm no saint and, like most (but not all, I suggest) who look in, I can use and be amused by the odd spot of bawdy language, But do we really want this here? School playground maybe. Here? - I think not.
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Agreed
Is Martyn BRM awake?
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In response to some pretty puerile stuff from Maxwell, Brian wrote:
>
> Agreed
> Is Martyn BRM awake?
Brian, no, at 11.32 on Sunday night, I was asleep in bed. Unfortunately HJ doesn't pay me enough to keep me here 24/7. In fact, he doesn't pay me at all!
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am I allowed to say 'pillock'?
M
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Maxwell your nicked - get in the motor.
DVD
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>>no, at 11.32 on Sunday night, I was asleep in bed. Unfortunately HJ doesn't pay me enough to keep me here 24/7. In fact, he doesn't pay me at all!
I am devastated. I thought you did it for the love of the BackRoom and for the chance to associate with us.
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Mark
I don't follow your logic.
Obviously if HJ doesn't pay him at all then he DOES do it for the love of the BackRoom and for the chance to associate with us.
Regards
Brian
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Not even original. Was recorded ages ago and featured embarrasingly in my reply to the penetrating "5 questions" in December. Bit sad that someone has listened to the record a few times and transcribed it all.
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