Two parking space hog - Obsolete
Yesterday in Bath I was going round and round the long stay car park searching for a space when I saw a souped up recently polished black car parked in two space i.e. the right half of the car occupied the right space and the left half occupied the left space. This struck me as incredibly selfish and egotistical behaviour. Anyone got any ideas about how this driver could have been punished? The obvious of giving the door a kick and leaving a note isn't on, though it does appeal. I am thinking more along the lines of frightening the driver but not causing any damage, not even a scratch. (If only I had had a bag of fresh manure in the boot!)

I wonder if a parking warden could have been 'summoned' (how?) to impose a fine?
Two parking space hog - sean
Hello Leif.

I've read your posts before, and you always seem so tranquil.

This is most unlike you.

Do you know what the parking situation was before this guy parked his car there?

I've come across a long line of spaces where someone has parked as you wrote.

Everyone else then parks with the centre of their car over the white line denoting the bay.

You go off for an hour, return and find that yours is now the only one left blocking 2 bays, with irate folks wanting to kill you.

See what I mean?
Two parking space hog - Obsolete
Sean: given that the car was souped up, 'accessorised', and very recently polished, with cars either side parked perfectly, I think the owner was out to avoid parking dents.
Two parking space hog - THe Growler
Probably right, and given the IQ of most parkers where I live I'd do exactly the same.
Two parking space hog - amcluesent
>I'd do exactly the same<

Comprehensive policies now have a £250 or higher excess to keep the premium to bearable levels. Given the careless way kiddies throw open the doors of Mum's 4*4 in the supermarket carpark, it's only sensible to park a privately insured car like this.
Two parking space hog - Gen

I confess...I do that...saves scratches and easier access. I might not if the white lines marked in some places didn't make you squash your hand protecting your door as you squeeze out...of course in multistoreys etc I tend not to as they will clamp you for this so the notices say.
Two parking space hog - Marcos{P}
I know this is sad but here goes,

I keep in my glovebox a set of pre-written notes. If someone parks to close they get one type of note etc etc.
I left a note on some morons car a while back and then when I returned to my car a bit later the said moron was steaming round asking everyone in sight if they had seen anyone putting the note on his car. He then came up to me and asked and I just burst out laughing.
Needless to say his bark was far worse than his bite but trying to explain what the word " Illiterate " meant had me in stitches.
Two parking space hog - Gen
Out of interest what are you pre-written notes?
Two parking space hog - Ian (Cape Town)
I've seen ones which read [expletives deleted, but you'll get the message]]:
"Thank you for parking so ******** close.
Next time leave a ******* tin-opener so I can access my vehicle.
*******s like you should take the bus - you obviously haven't got a clue about driving"
Two parking space hog - Marcos{P}
Unfortunately I can't write what is written but Ian has got one of them. The others are much more polite but still to the point.
Two parking space hog - Dynamic Dave
Unfortunately I can't write what is written but Ian has got
one of them. The others are much more polite but still
to the point.

Marcos, is this the one with a picture of Mickey Mouse waving his middle finger, as well as the writing? Used to have plenty of them myself tucked in the glove box.
Two parking space hog - Marcos{P}
The very same Dave.
Two parking space hog - Obsolete
"I know this is sad but here goes,"

Marcos: You're right, it is sad. But funny though! I once left a rude note on someone's windscreen. I was livid that they had dinged my new car. Later that day I realised it cannot have been them. They must have been very bemused.

Actually you might be on to a good idea. These days it's not hard to print official looking documents with a PC and a home printer. So, all one need do is make up an official looking "Bath Council, £100 parking fine" ticket and leave it on the windscreen. That'll make them wet themselves.

Well of course the above is probably highly illegal so you must not try it. And of course I won't. Ever. :)
Two parking space hog - Altea Ego
>I know this is sad but here goes,
>I keep in my glovebox a set of pre-written notes.

Yes - that is very sad
Two parking space hog - outkast
Why not leave your shopping trollies etc in the large space between the offenders car and the next one,or;
Why not buy a runner and on weekends use that for shopping etc-gets scratched it doesnt matter and you could park it in the gaps taken by the two bay parkers!!!!
Two parking space hog - leatherpatches
I always do this - avoids parking dings.
Two parking space hog - Thommo
You guys must live in very easy going towns. In Northampton (my home town) and Guildford (where I now live) if you park one inch over the white line you get a ticket. No ifs no buts. So across two lanes in Pretty City? Almost certainly a £60 job when the attendnat comes round...
Two parking space hog - Obsolete
Well I'm afraid it makes me angry when people do this. Same thing when I see someone parked in a disabled parking bay when they are not entitled to it, or parked on double yellows in an area that causes mayhem for other road users. What makes some people so special?

If you are worried about parking dings, and I am paranoid about them, you can always find an end space, where you can park without fear of damage. That's what I did in Bath. Alternatively you can park on the side of a road. That way you cannot get door dings. Or park in a Waitrose car park. No careless slobs there, and lots of posh totty roaming the isles.
Two parking space hog - Thommo
Another example from the home of Wogan's Lighthouse. My (seriously) disabled uncle, driven in to town by his helper, parked in a designated disabled bay and was issued a ticket because he put his new photo card up the wrong way in the windscreen (photo facing in instead of out).

Posh totty (or snotty totty as its know around here), now there's another subject... cold shower time...
Two parking space hog - Baskerville
The last time this inconvenienced me there was an empty space next to the offending vehicles that was being used to store a few pallets. This narrowed the available space and I felt justified (and a little vengeful) in parking my car so close to the "offender," on the driver's side, that it was impossible to slip between the two cars, let alone open a door--he would have to enter through the passenger side, and presumably this is what he did. His was a brand new Mercedes worth upwards of 50K. Mine was a twelve year-old Citroen BX worth downwards of one of his tyres. Do you think I was worried?

You could always report them anyway. Private car parks often have very enthusiastic clamping firms attached.
Two parking space hog - Alf
Unfortunately in the UK, car parking bays are flippin tiny. You cant blame people for wanting to protect their second biggest outlay after thier house/ The answer is for the bays to be made a decent size, its so obvious that it aint never going to happen.


Two parking space hog - Rob C
The spaces at Bluewater in Kent, are quite generous. It's a refreshing change.
Two parking space hog - Marcos{P}
Exactly what I was just about to say Rob.
Two parking space hog - Altea Ego
Same everywhere i go as wel. Park out of your bay and you get slapped with a fixed penalty. no ifs or buts. Thats pay car parks (and which ones are not these days) or parking bays.
Two parking space hog - leatherpatches
I find that when you have to pay, you can get fined, as the notices (must) indicate.

However, in supermarket car parks there is no such system - or clamping system as mentioned earlier. Aaahhh, double-park heaven :)

To the person who parked so close that the MB owner couldn't get in: nice one. I expect you got a real 'chuffty on' over that. You really showed him, eh?

I think that some people would benefit from examining their own driving slightly more carefully and not go around trying to correct other peoples'.
Two parking space hog - TrevP
leatherpatches -
"I think that some people would benefit from examining their own driving slightly more carefully and not go around trying to correct other peoples"

OOooH! - any more of that, and others will put you in the BOF category with me!
Two parking space hog - LonesomeTraveller
You think you have a problem?
I wont name names but my next door neighbour but one and his wife have 2 cars and 2 motorbikes between them, whenever leaving a space they position the other vehicles hogging as much of the street as possible. Not only do they admit to being incredibly selfish, reasoning with them is as useful as discussions with a brick wall.
I asked the Police if there was some law against what they do but they say that as long as the vehicles are properly taxed theres nothing they can do about it.
I wonder if the council could enforce some penalty for anti social behaviour since they upset half the street

Two parking space hog - CM
I will admit to trying to take up as much space as I can between my wife's car and mine to try and stop people parking BUT I only do this when Chelsea are playing at home.

I do this for 2 reasons
(1) in the forlorn hope that they might be disuaded in parking in the street as there is never anywhere to park on match days.
(2) so one of my neighbours who recognise my car can knock on the door

Value my car