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Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - volvoman

A few months ago I was offloading the kids in the 'drivers with small children' section of our local supermarket car park when a poser in a new BMW convertible roared into the car park, top down, stereo blasting, wind in hair etc. etc. As he drove round the first row of parked cars and approached us he noticed a space in our section and made straight for it without a care. I was still considering whether or not to say anything as he swung neatly into the space and 'SMACK', straight into a small but very sturdy metal post ! I didn't rub salt into his wound but will never forget the look on his face as he heard the sickening sound of plastic impacting against steel.

Anyone else seen a poser driver get his/her comeuppance ?
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - Pugugly {P}
Yes this afternoon.

I was out for a trundle in the Defender at a steady 45mph. I was overtaken by a a brand new (52 reg) MX5, hood down and full shades ahead. What he didn't account for was the 30 limit (quite rightly)) in the next village - to add insult to injury he was pulled by plod by the time I caught up with him in well known laser trap - a modern day version of the tortoise and hare methinks.
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - THe Growler
Mine also involves a BMW convertible, this time in Spain. I'm standing at the gas station filling my holiday rental box and enjoying the day, when said car screeches to a halt on the other side of my pump island. Ricky Martin type in muscle shirt, gold jewelry in abundance, blaring music all that, plus it has to be said a pretty gorgeous companion. Having exited car and strutted about a bit to make sure he is noticed by all within eyeshot, our Ricky sidles up to the pumps, oozing his masculine charm amid waves of Kouros, the while ogling his gorgeous girlfriend with that sort of latin lounge lizard wriggle of the shoulders those types perfect, all the while carrying on visual intercourse with her as he flips open the filler, grabs the pump nozzle from behind, boogies about a bit to his music and proceeds to fill his BMW up.....with diesel.
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - THe Growler
Mine also involves a BMW convertible, this time in Spain. I'm standing at the gas station filling my holiday rental box and enjoying the day, when said car screeches to a halt on the other side of my pump island. Ricky Martin type in muscle shirt, gold jewelry in abundance, blaring music all that, plus it has to be said a pretty gorgeous companion. Having exited car and strutted about a bit to make sure he is noticed by all within eyeshot, our Ricky sidles up to the pumps, oozing his masculine charm amid waves of Kouros, the while ogling his gorgeous girlfriend with that sort of latin lounge lizard wriggle of the shoulders those types perfect, all the while carrying on visual intercourse with her as he flips open the filler, grabs the pump nozzle from behind, boogies about a bit to his music and proceeds to fill his BMW up.....with diesel.
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffes? - Union Jack
"Mmmm.... driving for pleasure. Now that's an interesting concept. I wonder how it works in practice?"

The above was Volvoman's contribution to the thread on "Driving for pleasure" so, assuming that we don't all define driving/touring/motoring for pleasure identically, who is to say that the so-called posers weren't "driving/touring/motoring for pleasure" as they saw it?

In that case, I must say that I am somewhat saddened that other contributors to this thread seem to be able to square their obvious schadenfreude at other drivers' sometimes expensive misfortunes with their role as the serious motorists I have always taken them to be.

I am genuinely not being snitchy, because I always enjoy their contributions (especially Growler's as he well knows, not to mention Volvoman's frankness, and Pugugly's professional knowledge), just curious ...

Regards to all three.

Jack
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffes? - RichardW
Lad across the road from one of my student digs had a gold Metro - was always polishing it etc, and drove like a complete t**t. Always ragging it up and down the street late at night etc.

I came home one day to find it in the back lane with the front all smashed in - we all know that is only driver error.

I didn't stop chuckling for a week.

Richard
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffes? - volvoman
UJ - I think you've got me wrong. I like driving very much, it's just that I can't seem to find anywhere near here where I can enjoy it anymore in the normal course of events.

Also, to be fair, I don't think anyone here takes delight at the misfortune of genuine, sensible motorists. It's just that there are a percentage who go out of there way to be noticed in one way or another (e.g. aggressive, inconsiderate or dangerous driving, deafening music you can hear half a mile away etc., etc.) and there is a certain sense of natural justice apparent when these people come down to earth with a bump.
Given the above, I'm sure none of you are going to have a sneaky snigger when I tell you that reversing into my drive last night (as I have done several times a day for 16 years without incident) I knocked the near side wing mirror off !

'There but for the grace of God go I' perhaps ?
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffes? - THe Growler
UJ: I ditto volvoman, and must confess I have had my share. Being so busy fiddling with the music caused me to drive my old Mitsubishi 4WD into an unlit pile of sand at 60 kph. Belts, airbags, bull-bar driven into front-end, the whole ball of wax.

Not only that, severe embarrassment when I did what a lot of locals do here to avoid traffic, but with the wrong guy. Frequently the local mayor, or some bigwig or just a rich chappie who can pay the cops to provide him with one, will scythe through the traffic flanked by an escort with several police cars and outriders with lights flashing and sirens wailing. Any quick-witted Filipino spotting this will immediately swing out and tag along on the back of the procession to benefit from the event and speed through the jams.

So, what else but copy them. Trouble is on this occasion I did think it was unusual. There were more biker cops than normal and a lot had SWAT on the back of black uniforms. It also must have been a very VIP to have an APC full of mean looking grunts with M-16'sin his motorcade. All of this started to impinge on my consciousness until I found my way suddenly blocked by two menacing porkers on bikes who stopped me, made me get out, produce my ID and explain why I was following the (then) President of the Republic, Fidel Ramos. Embarrassed foreigner subjected to stares of many passers-by with that supercilious serve-you-b*****-well right look me and my fellow posters inflicted our "come-uppees".

Do I get off the hook, now?
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffes? - Steve S
I liked the idea of this thread until it dawned on me that the majority of us seem to have these speeding tickets or silly prangs - and haven't got the consolation of the posey car and obligatory "babe" in the passenger seat!

I would just like to say hello to my wife at this point, who is of course a wonderful woman.
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffes? - volvoman
I sure as hell haven't got a posey car but the wife, on the other hand, is another matter. I don't think I'll be trading her in in the near future !

Yours every so smugly !
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffes? - Ian (Cape Town)
wait until you have a problem with getting things started on a cold morning.
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffes? - Dynamic Dave
I sure as hell haven't got a posey car but the
wife, on the other hand, is another matter. I don't
think I'll be trading her in in the near future !


Whatever would HelplessFemale have to say about that!!
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffes? - HF
:-0!!!!!!

Only just saw this implication on my relationship with Volvoman!!!

For the record, Volvoman assists me in technical matters - my other requirements are fulfilled, extremely well I have to say, by another source!

Helpless.
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffes? - Toad, of Toad Hall.
:-0!!!!!!
Only just saw this implication on my relationship with Volvoman!!!
For the record, Volvoman assists me in technical matters - my
other requirements are fulfilled, extremely well I have to say, by
another source!


Pizza Express?

--
Parp, Parp!
Note: All Toad posts come with an implied smiley.
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffes? - HF
Pizza Express?

How on earth did you guess that?

Helpless.
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffes? - Ian (Cape Town)
>> Pizza Express?
>>
How on earth did you guess that?
Helpless.


Toad isn't as green as he looks (he is, in fact, greener!)

As you are obviously a weak-willed and feeble woman, Toad has deduced that your car is always off the road, ergo you can't drive to Pizza Hut, therefore you have to get it delivered.
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffes? - Toad, of Toad Hall.
How did you guess?

>>

Toad isn't as green as he looks (he is, in fact,
greener!)
As you are obviously a weak-willed and feeble woman, Toad has
deduced that your car is always off the road, ergo you
can't drive to Pizza Hut, therefore you have to get it
delivered.


Nah. It's just a lot of desperate blokes drink heavily there! ;-)



I'll get my coat...



--
Parp, Parp!
Note: All Toad posts come with an implied smiley.
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffes? - Ian (Cape Town)
Nah. It's just a lot of desperate blokes drink heavily there!
;-)
I'll get my coat...


Off to Pizza Express, then?:)
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffes? - Toad, of Toad Hall.
Off to Pizza Express, then?:)


LOL.

There isn't *nearly* enough censorship on this site....

--
Parp, Parp!
Note: All Toad posts come with an implied smiley.
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffes? - HF
Nah. It's just a lot of desperate blokes drink heavily there!
;-)
I'll get my coat...
--
P**********
Note: All Toad posts come with an implied smiley.

>>
I trust this isn't an insinuation that I am desperate too? I'll have the drink though, if you're offering :)

Helpless.
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffes? - HF

As you are obviously a weak-willed and feeble woman, Toad has
deduced that your car is always off the road, ergo you
can't drive to Pizza Hut, therefore you have to get it
delivered.

>>
Weak-willed? Feeble? To the contrary, I'm afraid. Why only the other day I single-handedly removed a spider from the bath - armed only with a six-foot fishing net and head-to-toe body armour - Tremendous strength of mind and deermination, I'm sure you'll agree - and no help from Volvoman there, I hope you'll note.

As or the car always being off the road - you couldn't be further wrong, my friend, it is ALWAYS on the road, since I am unable to manoevre it into the garage.

There, that told you!

Helpless.
Schadenfruede ? - Pugugly {P}
Just a little perhaps ?!
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - Ian (Cape Town)
The White Cross hotel, adjacent to Richmond Bridge, was always the site of much levity during rare high tides, when the road flooded.
For some reason, despite the warning signs, some idiots always knew better, like Motoring's King Canutes.
For some reason, the vehicles semi-submerged always seemed to be be 'flash-wagons'...
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - Highway Star
A couple of weeks ago I saw a submerged BMW on the other side of Richmond Bridge except it was completely underwater with about a foot of water above it. I was tempted to wait around for the owner and point and laugh in my best Nelson (from the Simpsons) impression.

Did I leave my lights on?
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - Pugugly {P}
I may well have cried, especially if it was my car and it had been put there by a TWOCer.
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - Bromptonaut
Euston station London. Tannoy for the owner of vehicle reg ***** parked in the bus station, where it was a serious obstruction to return immediately. Too slow, and our friend in shades, oh so sharp suit and ragtop beamer (again) is duly booked by the transport plods.

Process complete exits into Eversholt St in wheelspinning rush. Then repeats process right again into the Euston Road, ignoring ahead only sign, too be caught up by Met plod on motorbike and booked again.

Much merriment on top deck of 68 bus.
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - Rob C
I was once joining the A2 (Kent) from the M2, when this guy started to seriously tailgate me i.e. I couldn't see his headlights (this was in my Supra, not so much a f***y-magnet as a tw*t-magnet). As the traffic was too heavy to pull out of the third lane I accelerated to about 85. Up ahead I could see an opportunity to move into lane 2 but I also spyed a Volvo police car way up ahead in lane 1.
I duly moved over and the guy behind nails it and disappears up off the road. The Volvo gently glides out thru the traffic and also disappears up the road.

Sure enough by the time I approach the M25, there they both are in the hard shoulder. I like to think I goaded him into excessive speeding.
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - svpworld
reminds me of when I was on the A48 coming into Cardiff. two lanes, lots of traffic and I'm in the outside lane observing the 40 mph limit. BMW convertible (why always these?) approaches from behind very fast and then tailgates me very close. I slowly accelerated knowing there was a speed camera not too far ahead, he stuck behind me, I then spotted a gap in the left lane traffic (there were many high lorries so it was hard to spot the camera unless you were familiar with the road) just coming up to the lines on the road for the camera, and quickly tucked in, braking gently as I did not to upset anyone! As expected the tailgater accelerated hard past me and flash flash!!!!

S.

P.S. I did once drive swiftly into a petrol station on a sunny day with the sunroof open, music pumping and shades on and proceded to catch my wing mirror on a petrol pump handle and knock it flying (the mirror fortunately!).

Simon

_____________________________________
SVPworld (incorporating PSRworld)
www.svpworld.com
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - L'escargot
Anyone else seen a poser driver get his/her comeuppance ?


I regularly see a new Mini Cooper with the registration J 3 VNY. Originally the plates were in italics, and black bolts had been added to make the V look like an N. The car now has new plates which are in regulation font with no adulterations.

Methinks that poseur Jenny has had her comeuppance !!
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - THe Growler
Am I alone in thinking this UK obsession is pathetic? If you can't get a really good-looking personal plate like in the US why these miserable half-measures?

(I exclude the wonderful "FU 2" previously mentioned in these columns!)
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - CM
About 10 years ago when I was in my Volvo 340 (which I was under the strange impresiion that it was pretty trendy) thought that I would show off to some girls as they walke by. Revved the engine, dropped the clutch and reversed at high speed into a small parking space (making lots of noise).

Unfortunately there was a small bollard there which punctured my fuel tank!
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - Dom F {P}
The best personal plate I've seen so far has been on a 4wd near me that has the number MR51 CAN, and has been made to read:
MRS I CAN! Obviously someone who can't say No!
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - Baskerville
When I was about twenty I had a girlfriend who was given a brand new car by her parents. She was a bit on the wealthy side - the daughter of a prominent Tory grandee - and it was a white BMW convertible (a 3-series, I think), which is what the sloans were driving in those days. I was her bit of northern working-class rough, which was nice. Anyway, she thought this car was great (ok, to be fair, it was). One day we went to the local newly-built Sainsbury's. The roof was down, the music was playing, her legs looked great next to the cream leather, and she knew it. But she was a terrible driver. She reversed into a parking bay and managed to drive over one of the young trees that had just been planted. This tree didn't snap, but made a hideous grinding noise on the underside of the car. She just kept going until the tree twanged upright at the front after we'd passed over it (which is similar to the effect she had on me, but that's another story). I laughed a great deal, and was dumped a few days later.

Chris
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - daryld
..This is too good to resist! My Wife's "lifestyle" friends had a BMW 3 series (alas not a convertable)..they spent more time cleaning it than actually driving it; always driving around with the music blaring and the shades on; they always rambled on about the "gym", "doing lunch at Selfridges", their "career profile", and "adding value".

Predictably, they spent £2,500 on two mountain bikes "..to cycle round Hamsptead". Plus they bought a mountain bike carrier to mount their new bikes on the back of the BMW (of course).

After popping round one Sunday to see us with their car+bike combination they sped off home along the M25. Two days later my wife found out that the two bikes had fallen off the back of the BMW while in lane 3 (while they were doing the BMW-tailgate-everyone-in-sight act no doubt). But the bikes got caught in the carrier staps and bounced+dragged along the road and the rear of the BMW causing £££££££ of damage to both car bodywork and bikes.

Luckily no one was hurt....
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - volvoman
About 15 years ago I was taking my late wife to the station and took my usual route down a local street in which the residents had successfully fought to have road humps/speed tables installed despite quite a lot of local opposition. Even then the average house price in that area was £250k plus and most of the residents had several cars - some of which were extremely expensive. On this particular day one of the residents left his drive right in front of us in his sports car (Maserati I think) and screamed off up the road towards the station (late for work I guess). I suppose he must have forgotten the newly installed humps 'cos he hit a speed table at speed and lost most of his exhaust system and various other sundries in the process!
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - John S
Highly amusing, even for a BMW driver!

Problem is I grew up in London where your Gaff is your house. Now a gaffe, that's quite different!

Regards

John S
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - volvoman
Me too - SE London in fact. My typing error was unintentional and not intended to mislead I promise - only noticed my gaffe when it had been posted and it was too late to correct..
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - John S
That's the trouble, the Preview button only does half the job!

Nice to know there's someone else from SE London about - that's my old area too.

Regards

John S
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - BrianW
Thank goodness for that, I was wondering what the connection was with something fishermen use to hoist their catch out of the water - or a spar on a sailing boat.
I suppose either might fit on a roof rack: I thought maybe that was the motoring connection.
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - volvoman
Crofton Park, Lewisham ring any bells ?
So your preview button does half the job does it ? Luxury, mine doesn't seem to do anything at all - Preview button
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - John S
Certainly do. Lived in Kidbrook, had a Saturday job in Lewisham. Small world.

Regards

John S
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - volvoman
Sorry to bore everyone else but where did you work in Lewisham John and when were you there ? We moved to 'rural' Orpington from Forest Hill in 1986 - where are you now ? Been back to Lewisham lately ? I lock the car doors if I ever have to drive through that area !
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - John S
Volvoman

Lewisham days are now rather a long time ago. Saturday job finished 1965, left SE London in 1972. Now in rural Wiltshire.

Passed through Lewisham many times on the way to central London in the 1980's, but haven't been back to visit since, apart from one trip to Beckenham. Never felt the need - I'm definitely a country boy now. So much so I'll be there on Sunday!
Regards

John S
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - volvoman
Don't blame you for leaving Lewisham for Wiltshire. I've been thinking about heading off to Dorset myself. Orpington's quite nice and is very handy for London but now I'm 'semi-retired' and you can see the grime coming our way slowly I think it's soon gonna be time to go. I see it whenever I go back to Lewisham (rarely nowadays !) - Brockley, Honor Oak Park, Crofton Park, Sydenham etc. used to be quite nice but not anymore. Stay put Steve and enjoy the country !
ps. lock your car doors on Sunday !
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - volvoman
Sorry John, I don't know where 'Steve' came from !
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - John S
Lock the car doors? No, I'm travelling up by coach with a few friends! Central London is the destination.

Regards

John S
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffes ? - volvoman
Just one last example I promise - when visiting my local DIY shed I pulled into the car park to see a pristine E-Type Jag. (bright red) and what looked like a typical medallion man walking away from it and entering the store. I bought my tiles and whilst queueing up to pay noticed some merriment amongst the shop staff who had noticed that the poser's perfect blond mane had a mind of its own and had rotated somewhat during his journey to the shop.
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - Daedalus
Several years ago I was coming home from work having done some unpaid overtime on a Saturday morning. The traffic was not heavy but a bit slow, when I got to the dual carrige way out of Halifax to Ainley top I found a slowish moving brand new diesel Range Rover was causing the hold up, (had probably been posing from the town center). I stuck my old 5 pot Passat down a gear and off I went passed him. It must have upset him because he seemed to decide to chase after me. At the roundabout at Ainley top I could see that there was only a white Escort coming around fairly slowly so I carried straight on and down into Huddersfield. I checked my mirror and found the Escort rather closer than I had expected it to be, another check showed the passenger adjusting the camera in a Cosworth type Escort. Oh dear. I pulled up at the lights, eyes forward, and then set off in old spinster mode upto the 40 limit when they changed. Having not had any sign of them pulling me for some time I looked in the mirror again, to see flashing blue lights and a brand new Range Rover pulled over some way back. I can only assume he tried to overtake them:-)

Bill


Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - Pugugly {P}
Confession Time.

1. Getting into the passanger seat of my car having been driving my LHD Defender all weekend.

2. Tesco Car Park Saturday: Helpfully pointing out to a beautifully dressed female driver of a lovely new BMW 5.. that its front tyre was flat when she was actually well aware of it....and in the process of getting the spare out !
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - Baskerville
A few weeks ago, after almost two months driving American automatics, latterly with a steering column gearshift, I had to start up my old BX. I checked there was still oil, water, and LHM in there after eight weeks standing idle, then started her up. The old thing started first time, and rose smoothly up on the suspension. Feeling very proud of myself, and the car, I grabbed hold of the windscreen wiper stalk and yanked it downwards, to put it in reverse. Amazingly the stalk didn't come off in my hand, but the amount of time it took to connect what I'd just done with the wiper starting was a little worrying.

Chris
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - Phil I
Do BMW have such common things as punctures??

Anyway I thought this thread was all about Fishermen & their BMWs

Happy Motoring Phil I
BMW tyre issues. - Pugugly {P}
Sorry -according to the manual this was a pneumatic pressure defecit incident in the front autonaut quadrant (refer to dealer).
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - Ian (Cape Town)
Confessions #2
Trying to open 'my' Cortina in the Supermarket carpark once - until the owner came up and asked what the hell I thought I was doing...
Quick explanation, and apologies all round.
Then I realised I had driven there in my Mum's chevrolet ...
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - Blue {P}
My mate went up to his Escort once and when the key wouldn't work started swearing and hit it (it was a tired old car that did things like that all the time...) Then the big man in the passenger seat leant over and stared at him! :) He legged it pretty sharpish, there's just too many metallic blue Escort Lx's on the roads!
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - cockle {P}
Lovely one last weekend.
Loads of people on the sea front, guy wanders across the road, all muscles and tight T shirt, shades, eyeing up the girls. Just before he reaches his car mobile rings, he pulls the tiniest phone you've ever seen out of his back pocket, has a good look round to make sure the girls have seen him just as he reaches the car. He grabs the door handle flips open the door and jumps in....

About 30 seconds later he sheepishly gets out of the rear and climbs in the front.
Cockle
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - Vin {P}
Come out of a nightclub (Jilly's, in Manchester) with a mate of mine at chucking out time. It's a rock nightclub, so plenty of bikers streaming out. My mate gets on the bike, I get on the pillion, and he decides to impress everyone with a burnout. Result, one millionth of a second of burnout and a completely burnt out clutch.

V
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - Daedalus
Vin

Where is Jilly's in Manchester it may be worth a trip over there are no good rock clubs in Huddersfield.

Bill
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - DoddMan
Hope nobody minds me butting in :-)

I'm pretty sure Jilly's is on Oxford Road just up from Oxford Road train station and the Palace Theatre. If you are coming from Huddersfield you might be able to get a train directly to Oxford Road train station.

To be honest Rock clubs aren't really my scene so I've never been to Jilly's but I've been told that it is an excellent night out.
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - dave18
Haha!!! Got to give an example of mothers awful driving.
She had a Sunny Coupe. OK, not a flashy car (to make an understatement!,) but it had novelty for her because she was used to a dying Fiesta.
It was an automatic. She got in it in a temper one day. Engaged reverse. Pressed foot to floor. Failed to see neighbours company car parked 15 feet away, opposite our drive.
The insurance company had some questions about that one.
And she tells me off for speeding. Lol.
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - BrianW
The husband of our previous chairman was swapping their two cars round on their drive.
Takes number one off and parks it on the road (which is a slight hill)
Takes number two off and gets out to put number one back on.
Unfortunately forgets to engage handbrake and number two rolls into number one and writes it off.
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - graham sherlock
Plain gaffe time.

Drove the VW Passat Estate, with red/going on white paint, down to the motorcycle dealers to pick up some new pads for the ZZR. Completely engrossed in new purchase, walk back to car, put key in lock, get in car and find kids in back seat. Now, how often do you find two red VW Passat Estates parked next to each other?

Doohhh!
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - BMDUBYA
Similar to Graham, My girlfriend went to her beat up X reg silver fiesta sport, UNLOCKED the door, let in her friend and only when she tried to start the car, but the key wouldn't turn in the ignition, did she realise she was in someone elses car:-) She assures me that the cars we identical:-))

Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - Flat in Fifth
All right I'll own up. Years ago getting ready for an RAC rally woke up one morning about a week before the event and my job for this particular day was to take the service barge and do various gofer jobs.

Picked up the keys off the key rack, opened up the service barge, loaded it up, locked up the house, and went to start the engine. Ignition lock just would not work. Not unexpected as the lock had been dodgy for weeks and sometimes took quite a bit of key wiggling before it would work.

After about an hour of fiddling about realised the lock was bust, or so I thought, took off the column surround, carefully removed the shear bolts, removed the lock so the steering lock was not engaged, hot wired the engine and away we went. Drove round for three days in this configuration, hot wiring it all the time. This included two days working away. Got back on the third night to be confronted with "Why have you been driving the barge around using the rally car keys?" Double DOH!
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - Sherwood
A number of years ago a friend of mine owned a Austen Healey
3000,he was a right poser.One day he was in a line of stationery traffic,hood down,revving up,a woman walked behind his car just as he revved she walked up to him and hit him over the head with her handbag and walked off.

Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - THe Growler
So many still miss Maggie Thatcher it seems. I can see why :-)
Poser Drivers & Their Gaffs ? - volvoman
Coming over the QE2 bridge at Dartford this afternoon I found myself in a queue for the automatic tolls. In the adjacent queue a young guy in a new BMW M3 started to indicate to pull across into my lane - fed up waiting for his to move I suppose ! 2 or 3 drivers refused to let him in but I did and he didn't even acknowledge the fact. A little irked, I couldn't believe my eyes when as it came to his turn to pay he casually threw a handful of coins into the 'bucket' only to miss it and send loose change everywhere ! Red face or what as he had to get out of the car and scrabble around underneath looking for the money.