Amateur reviewer/ pointers would be appreciated! | Motoring discussion | Back Room Forum

Thu 8 Mar 2012 14:48

Amateur reviewer/ pointers would be appreciated! - petrolblogger

Hi!

I've been looking for a place to get some pointers on my writing (i.e. someone to point out exactly where I suck at writing), and thought of making this topic. If you're like me and like to write about cars, just contribute to this and pointers will be given.
So now then, lets see how many want-to-be-carjourno-dreamers there are on this board :)

http://thepetrolblogger.blogspot.com/ <--- the link to my writings.

Thanks in advance, all constructive criticism will be highly appreciated!

-H

Reply | Report as offensive | Link

Thu 8 Mar 2012 15:09

Amateur reviewer/ pointers would be appreciated! - unthrottled

The bog is very nicely presented and I think your writing style is good-informal, yet articulate.

BUT!!!

It's far too wordy. I found myself skipping whole paragraphs waiting to get to a point that captured my interest.

Small prestige cars with small boosted engines are old hat now. No one with even a cursory interest in cars is going to be remotely surprised that a small BMW with a downsized engine exists-so avoid stating the obvious! If I start reading a review whose first paragraph points out how far removed modern common rail diesels are from the smokey, slow ones of the 1980's, I immediately stop reading. It's trite.

Then there's the balance between objective and subjective. I'm glad that you've gone for the latter, rather than cutting and pasting meaningless data from carfolio. But an entirely subjective view is equally unappealing. There's little point writing "the car handles really well and is very responsive" unless you can justify the statement. Without skidpan test results this is very difficult. This is where amateur reviewers struggle. It is really hard to say something of interest that I couldn't find from a more authorative source.

I think you need to take a particular angle that you think is not adequately covered by the popular press and focus on that, rather than general reviews.

Edited by unthrottled on 08/03/2012 at 15:10

Reply | Report as offensive | Link

Thu 8 Mar 2012 15:39

Amateur reviewer/ pointers would be appreciated! - madf

Too long, verbose, long paragraphs, no headings to break it up... too many words.

Sorry on line I don't read that - newspaper style.

Reply | Report as offensive | Link

Thu 8 Mar 2012 16:24

Amateur reviewer/ pointers would be appreciated! - Bobbin Threadbare

Just remember to spell- and punctuation-check! 'Bayerische Motoren Werke' - they make more than one motor.....

Are you American? You write in a very American style.

Edited by Bobbin Threadbare on 08/03/2012 at 16:25

Reply | Report as offensive | Link

Thu 8 Mar 2012 16:33

Amateur reviewer/ pointers would be appreciated! - unthrottled

With the exception of spelling, I can't tell the difference between American and British writers. I still enjoy Car and Driver because I like the style in which their reviews are written-plenty of objective 'meat', but tempered with a dry, irrelevant wit. Sadly, Csaba Csere (former Editor in chief) has left the magazine. Csere spent twenty years working at Ford-and he knew his stuff inside out. No sycophantic drivel, no regurgitated press releases, no muddled descriptions of the difference between torque and horsepower. What a contrast to the British dross!

Reply | Report as offensive | Link

Thu 8 Mar 2012 17:16

Amateur reviewer/ pointers would be appreciated! - petrolblogger

Thanks to all of you for taking the time to review my scribbles! Notes have been meticulously taken and the weak points will be bashed straight with an iron fist in future writings.

This actually started out as my independent matriculation-exam excercise but has now started to grow on me. I think I'm going to keep at it, I think just writing as much as possible is the key.

Bobbin Threadbare -

I'm actually Finnish, so I take it as a compliment that you took me for a native english speaker. My intent was not to sound American at all, will work on that "shortcoming" though, hehe.

unthrottled -

I especially thank you for that in-depth review, really constructive!

I was thinking of going all-out entertainment on this one, because that's what I enjoy. Basically meaning totally subjective opinions and entertainment-value only reviews, with only the key tech-specs to back it up. So basically more of a free-expression exercise than dry confirmable data.I'm aiming at people who are just generally bored and want to read something remotely funny and a bit useful at the same time.

In my current situation I sadly have no opportunity to go for some of the more "exotic" cars and stories without having to resort to being a penis going about test-driving cars at dealerships without any intention of buying, but I will try my best.

Cheers! (<--- now that was properly 5 o'clock-tea sippingly Brittish, wasn't it?)

-H

Reply | Report as offensive | Link

Thu 8 Mar 2012 17:32

Amateur reviewer/ pointers would be appreciated! - unthrottled

If you're going for entertainment value, I would have a good look at Jeremy Clarkson's writing in The Times 'in gear' section. He appears to say very little about the car itself and instead digresses on to what appears to be a wandering pre-amble. It looks amateurish and easy; it is neither. That style is extremely difficult to pull off-but devastatingly effective if can manage it.

Good luck with your writing!

Reply | Report as offensive | Link

Thu 8 Mar 2012 19:26

Amateur reviewer/ pointers would be appreciated! - Bobbin Threadbare

Bobbin Threadbare -
I'm actually Finnish, so I take it as a compliment that you took me for a native english speaker. My intent was not to sound American at all, will work on that "shortcoming" though, hehe.

Teidän Englanti ottaen on upea...!

Reply | Report as offensive | Link

Fri 9 Mar 2012 08:54

Amateur reviewer/ pointers would be appreciated! - petrolblogger

Bobbin Threadbare -
I'm actually Finnish, so I take it as a compliment that you took me for a native english speaker. My intent was not to sound American at all, will work on that "shortcoming" though, hehe.

Teidän Englanti ottaen on upea...!

Touché mr. Threadbare! Nice translation-work, hehe!

And thanks!

-H

Reply | Report as offensive | Link

Fri 9 Mar 2012 16:26

Amateur reviewer/ pointers would be appreciated! - Bobbin Threadbare