Cape Town driving- The Sun newspaper

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Wed 3 Mar 2004 11:59
Cape Town driving- The Sun newspaper - Ian (Cape Town)
Here's the link:
www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2004092183,00.html

Here's the TRUTH! (Not from me - It was posted in a local forum ... but I agree 100%!)
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WE all need to move to Cape Town, South Africa.
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And change your tune on your first drive into the city, from the airport.


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I?ve just been on holiday there, and if you love motoring there is no better place to drive ? it is motoring Nirvana.
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Like Britain is a sunny "tourist mecca"?


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But now it?s back to the reality of traffic jams, road rage and a nanny state. So why is South Africa so good for a driving enthusiast?
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Too many Black Labels on your trip down here, lass.


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For a start, they drive on the correct side of the road just like we do.
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A most tenuous of positive aspects. I expect the Germans and French would disagree.


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There are also hardly any speed cameras.
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Ctrl-C and Ctrl-V my comment above about the Black Labels.


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In fact, there are probably more cameras on a five-mile stretch of the M25 than in the whole of South Africa.
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Ctrl-V


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And if you do get caught speeding, you simply get a fine instead of points on your licence.
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Psssst... Are we supposed to feel good about doling out the state for enjoying some speed from time to time, or what?


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With that in mind, you might think it would be complete carnage on the roads. But it?s not.
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Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!! She obviously never had a radio on in the car during the festive season!


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The South Africans could teach us a thing or two about road etiquette.
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Absolutely. Rule #1... ^%$# with me on tarmac, you get a bullet / you get Glocked / you have your sheetmetal dented by errant feet.


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On the beautiful wide roads around Cape Town, I learnt that you can teach an old dog new tricks.

As I was zooming along a B-road, I came up behind a slow-moving car. But as I prepared to overtake, he moved over into the specially-provided hard shoulder lane. That?s right, moved over, leaving the road clear for me.
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(a) it's not binding that you shift across, (b) it's a dumb thing to do, given the litter that bedecks SA road hard shoulders, and (c) very few plonkers would ever actually have the humility to allow a faster vehicle to pass.


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It?s a real motoring love-fest.
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And the "women" in Bangkok are all gorgeous, and love foreign tourists for their looks, not their naivety.


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But I do love the sheer b***** mindedness of UK drivers.

Only a Brit would hog the fast lane of the motorway in their 1.2-litre rust bucket with an irate BMW M5 driver on their tail and still not move over.
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She'd be surprised mefinks... we don't have 1.2-engined rustbuckets, we have diesel-engined double cabs.


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And only Brits make those charming gestures when you cut them up.
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It just seems so lovey dovey on SA roads for this wanchette, because she doesn't know what "jou ma se blik poes" means.


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Ahhhh, it?s nice being home ...
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Was the cheque from Cape Tourism in the mail when you got home?

EDITED to correct glaring gender b*****ups!
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