Although speed bumps now seem to be part of our daily commute and a growing nuisance they still need to be tackled. How do you approach yours?
Are you:
A Stradler? Wheels either side of the hump for a smooth passage.
50/50? One side of the car on the flat while the other takes the rough.
An Off Roader? Approaching the hump at an angle to ensure at least two wheels have drive at all time.
A Freestyler? (Motorbikes & Push Bikes only) The maximum amount of air is obtained on each hump and possibly a quick mid air wave or table top achieved.
An Eco Destroyer. Braking sharply metres before the hump then accelerating to warp speed before slamming all on for the next.
Nip 'N Tuck. Driving between widely spaced humps.
What Hump? Usually heard inside large offroaders transporting offspring to an from educational establishments.
Hump Master. approaching and clearing the humps as fast as you dare to get the agonising clunk, bang ooohh over with.
Thats all I can come up with. Any further additions? Check out which you are on your way home.
Hurman
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You forgot the creeper.
Aproach and creep over so slowly that you would think they had Nitro-glysarine (sorry about the spelling) on the back seat.
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Do any of our IAM/RoSPA brethren have a steer on how one *should* approach?
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Am boring and slowly go over them, a wheel on each hump, since putting a hole in the sump of my Golf last year, and that was on just a bumpy road near Strangeways, not a speed bump. The passat is even lower, so am taking no risks.
Sorry it's a boring answer in a humour thread.
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The sump destroyer - drives over too fast having braked at the last minute to compress the front suspension nicely and makes contact with the top of the hump.
teabelly
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Nicole has the best technique.
Approach at speed. Brake hard just at the last moment so the springs are all nicely compressed down at the front, hit speed hump slightly too fast with no travel left in springs.
With front wheels now clear of hump, accelerate away shifting weight to rear, compressing rear springs, just in time for them to play \"Tony Hawkes Skateboarding\" with the hump......Complain loudly about the council.
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Nicole has the best technique. Approach at speed. Brake hard just at the last moment so the springs are all nicely compressed down at the front, hit speed hump slightly too fast with no travel left in springs. With front wheels now clear of hump, accelerate away shifting weight to rear, compressing rear springs, just in time for them to play \"Tony Hawkes Skateboarding\" with the hump......Complain loudly about the council.
Actually I\'d recommend doing almost the exact opposite. A minicab driver gave me this tip: Approach at speed, brake before the bump, then release brakes. Front springs should now be at maximum length prior to hitting the bump. As front wheels encounter bump, the springs take all the travel thus none is transmitted through the car. As front wheels are ready to leave the bump, brake again to compress springs, now springs will expand again as the front wheels go down. This also shifts the weight off the back springs, hopefully just as the back wheels encounter the bump. Now accelerate to shift the weight onto the back springs just as the back wheels leave the bump. In this way the least amount of shock is transmitted through the sprung mass of the car and its occupants. Also has the advantage that you can be anti-social and speed up between the bumps (thus demonstrating the complete pointlessness of their installation).
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The Speedster - go over them as fast as possible and not feel any bump at all (not applicable to all humps)!
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The Detourer. The person willing to go miles out of his/her way to avoid them.
My dad is one such example, he knows all the ways through Sheffield avoiding speedbumps [he also has a low Mondeo, which scrapes something expensively over each one, they make a good couple].
My Grandad is definately a crawler, he even sometimes puts hazards on, just in case, God bless him.
I am definately a threader, skillfully weaving between them [and cars coming other way... ;-)], unless I can't, in which case I am a straddler!
Oh another one, the Pavementer. This clever person drives along the pavement [well, 1 wheel anyway] and the other wheel goes over speedbump, ensuring no damage can be done to car's underneath. Unfortunate for people walking on pavement though...
Kev
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I used to be a straddler but how can you tell if it's a 75 or 85 mm bump ? Hang on, I can, just listen to the scraping noise from below the engine.
So now, rather than scrape the bottom, I'm destroying shocks instead.
Before you ask - 4 inch groung clearance (101.2 mm) so 16 mm to spare over an 85mm if it and the road are perfect.
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I normally straddle speed humps, my C5 knows that the roads are normally bumpy where speed humps are. When the car detects a rough road it increases the ride height. If I am feeling cautious and doing below 24mph, I can manually add a fair bit to the ride height. Speed humps? Not a problem. Sorry Graeme, I got here first.
Ben
On my 3rd Citroen. Saxo, Xsara, C5.
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Sorry folks i'm a crawler, I'm not knackering my supension for anybody, plus where I live we are plagued with cushions not humps, which I'm officially told you should straddle so as not to cross into the path of oncoming traffic. My local council put them across the road in three's. Problem is due to total lack of maintainence the sloping sides of the cushion that your wheels run on whilst straddling have subsided from constant use and lack of maintainence. Therefore at any speed above app 10mph my sump scrapes on the top of the cushion, and from the scrape marks on many other cushions, I am not alone.
I officially complained to my County Council about this five weeks ago now, I got a reply after a week saying they would pass my complaint on to their official roads contracter, and since then, nothing, what a surprise.
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Oh, you mean Citroen C5 - thought you meant Sinclair C5 - sorry...
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A lot of the bumps around here (not to many yet) are of the pillow type. Two humps next to one another with gaps at the side and in the middle. I just go throught the gap on the bike!
Bill
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I think King Arthur is right
Trust your friendly neighbourhood minicab driver! (As one of the brethren, wellllll, sort of)You know it makes sense.
Incidentally we/they are very good for financial advice too, not to mention, marital, legal, gambling - in fact you name it, your local minicab/taxi/chauffeur/executive car service/airport car service driver is the man or woman to ask - honest!
Don drbe
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We've recently had speed bumps put in all the roads to my house. I used to scrape over them (low car, you see) until my exhaust started blowing. So then I started driving on the pavement around the bumps. It was the only way to get to my house.
Local rag has just ran a story that all the residents are complaining about the extra noise now, scraping, revving, thunking etc.
I've just paid £370 for a replacement downpipe, as the manifold flange had split open, I presume because of the speed bumps.
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Having three sets of humps on the way to (and from) one of my places of work approach at around 10 to 15mph
BMW 3 Muted thud
BMW 5 --ditto--
Disco --Crash Wallop - shakey bits inside rattle
Mini -- Thuds audibly but no rattle and shake
Defender -- Much like the disco but then it would.
The Award goes to a Peugeot 306 diesel no thud, muted or otherwise no interior rattles, no discomfort and can be attacked at higher speeds - well it was a rental.
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I found out recently when I had a rental E-Class that the faster you go the less the hump became noticable.
As Pugugly said doing that in a rental is o.k. but I wouldn't try it in my own car.
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Local taxi drivers in a town near me have increased the fare for the first part of the journey by £1.50 to cover the cost of all the extra wear and tear, damage and extra maintainence needed caused by all the humps in their town. Passengers and local groups were in uproar about it but were told, you wanted them, so you take the bad with the good with them.
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RobC said "...I've just paid £370 for a replacement downpipe, as the manifold flange had split open, I presume because of the speed bumps..."
Rob, can I suggest that you send the bill to the council. The more that do this the better...for any damage to your car caused by speed humps and badly maintained roads.
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I intend to!
We all had a questionaire form delivered giving us the opportunity to raise objections. I can only presume everybody just went with their knee-jerk reaction and said "Yep, speedhumps, we need them, good for the kiddies"
I didn't bother to fill it in, as I thought one bloke with a lowered sports car will not pull much weight against 500 families with children.
I did read, probably on this very site, that sounding one's horn as you drive over the speed hump also alerts any children playing in the street, and can only be seen to increase safety. (TIC)
Alas I haven't the cahunas to try it, as everyone in the surrounding streets will know where I live
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>Alas I haven't the cahunas to try it, as everyone in the surrounding streets will know where I live
Indeed a sound idea. BUT common sense dictates you only need to do it in areas you are not familiar with, a beneficial side effect of which is that the area doesent know you.
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>>> Indeed a sound idea <<<
Pun intended? ;-)
Back to the thread, the best thing about my V70 is that it completely straddles all of the bumps encountered so far.
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"I found out recently when I had a rental E-Class that the faster you go the less the hump became noticable."
I'm reminded of PJ O'Rourke's comment: "What is the fastest sort of car? A rental car...."
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My company car, Citreon Picasso, use to go over speed bumps quicker than my privately owned Subaru! Strange that? The brake pads also use to wear out quicker on the Picasso than on the Subaru as well. No idea why.
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