?Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you?ve got the ebola virus and you?re about to sneeze.?
This disgraceful slur is described on the Autotrader review site as one of "Jeremy Clarkson's 48 best quotes."
I thought a lot before buying my Almera. It's automatic, has a sun-roof, seats 5 and has a 6 CD player with decent speakers. In the colour I chose, it actually looks quite good. It may have a rather brittle ride but, as described above, it gave me good value for all I could afford at the time.
Is it me? Do I have no sense of humour? Or is it that I can't see the joke because I'm not a wealthy, public school educated toaster like Clarkson.
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He' so witty and funny my sides just don't stop aching after watching him.
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It's you, you have no sense of humour. ;)
Do you think yours is the only car JC has said nasty things about? He is an entertainer, and it is his job to say exaggerated and controversial things about cars. Try not to take it too seriously!
Edited by BazzaBear {P} on 13/04/2008 at 22:56
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"Telling people at a dinner party.."
Only at the sort of dinner parties he goes to. It says a lot more about Clarkson than it does about you, so I wouldn't be upset...
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He's become sadly detached from his roots. Very 1980s.
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He's become sadly detached from his roots.
PU
Is that a catty way of referring to his bald patch.....
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No, I rather wish it was now. I am consoled by the fact that he's younger than me and worn rather less well.
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Wow, someone who is actually insulted by Clarkson!
I think you need to get out more, but perhaps not in that flaky Nissan :)
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Why would you be offended by what anybody thinks about your car? Why are you so precious about it?
As for the quote in question, sounds to me so tortured and laboured he was probably pondering over it for hours, I wouldn't be too worried if I were Oscar Wilde.
And if the conversation turned to Nissan Almeras at a dinner party (or any car for that matter) I'd start making my excuses to leave.
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Clarkson is a complete waster and top gear is for Mindless morons. If that passes as entertainment then I pity the lot that watch it. So sad. No content and look at me. James is human, Jez and the Hamster are carp.
MD
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And information value................NIL
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Clarkson is a complete waster and top gear is for Mindless morons. If that passes as entertainment then I pity the lot that watch it.
MD, so I take it you've never watched it then? If you have, then the above also applies to you. If you haven't watched it, then how can you judge it's content? ;o)
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>> Clarkson is a complete waster and top gear is for Mindless morons. If that passes >> as entertainment then I pity the lot that watch it. MD so I take it you've never watched it then? If you have then the above also applies to you. If you haven't watched it then how can you judge it's content? ;o)
You Mister must be wired up wrong. Clearly I have seen it to make such comments and that applies to any subject. Are you still moderating?
MD
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Are you still moderating?
Yes, and still adding a smiley when the comment is tongue in cheek.
Yours sincerely, a fellow mindless moron ;o)
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They've got to talk about cars now at dinner parties - nobody dare mention the old staple of house prices..... [They'd all start crying into their soup.]
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I have to confess that I only know one person who drives a Nissan Almera, and I certainly would not invite her to any dinner party of mine! ;-)
And before you ask it ain't my mother-in-law!
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Stands up.
I am an Almera owner.
And frankly, I don't give a damn!
It was cheap when I bought it. It does what it says on the tin. And it corners a helluva lot better than the diesel Focus it replaced (according to shouts from passengers).
Oh! I can get a wheelchair in the boot, and a passenger in the back seat, without the driver being origami'd.
Edited by bathtub tom on 13/04/2008 at 23:48
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>Stands up.
>I am an Almera owner.
Is this what you have to do at your first Almera support group meeting? A bit like AA or Weightwatchers?
Kevin...
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My other car's a Kia Pride - laughs maniacally!
Are you sure you want to be on the same website?
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My other car's a Kia Pride
Bet you don't have that as a bumper sticker on the Almera! ;-)
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But guess what the bumper sticker on the Pride says?
Did I scare Kevin off?
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Dunno 'bout that but it got rid of my missus; she had a Kia Pride and hates 'em with a vengeance! :0
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>My other car's a Kia Pride - laughs maniacally!
Now that's more like it! I've never driven one but they look practical and cute. If it had a V8 option I might buy one.
>Did I scare Kevin off?
Good Glub no! I drive an XJ and a vulgar American thingy. Not exactly an arbiter of good taste.
Kevin...
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That's another erstwhile 'regular' that we seem to have lost (see 'Aprilia' thread) - a lady called NoWheels who didn't have a car bought an Almera and changed to NowWheels.
Its successor, the Nissan Tiida (silly name), isn't sold here but we've twice hired one in South Africa. No doubt similarly to the Almera, it just gets on with the job in a straightforward, unexciting, reliable way and does what it's designed to do.
I think - without being very sure why - that that quality is valued more in other countries than in Britain. We seem to want that little bit extra from our cars, yet paradoxically our roads are some of the most overcrowded in the world, giving us less space to make good use of that 'extra'.
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Funny isn't it; I had a couple of Volvo 340's a few years ago, bland and boring but also solid, comfortable and reliable, and I loved them for it. Yet everyone else decried them as a "pipe and slippers" car.
One man's meat.....
Edited by Harleyman on 14/04/2008 at 00:15
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HJ himself said my car was an archetypal chav's car. After advising me quite rightly to buy it.
Am I bothered? Do I look bothered though? The advice was good, the opinion makes me laugh.
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As a slightly related aside, why have Nissan dropped out of the medium sized sector in the UK? Is it temporary, or did they just not sell enough Primeras or Almeras to justify bringing them to the UK anymore?
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......just not sell enough Primeras or Almeras to justify bringing them to the UK anymore?
But the Primera and the Almera are made in the UK anyway!
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I saw a sparkling new Nissan Maxima yesterday in a car park. 3.5 litres and chunky masculine styling. Mouth-watering motor, such a shame the UK don't get them any more.
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I don't have a problem with Nissans, but what a confused brand - everything from little put puts that wouldn't pull the skin off a custard to those "I have a very small manhood" off-roaders
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I don't really care what anyone else thinks of my car. I only concern myself with what I think of my car and how well it suits my needs. Anyone else's opinion is irrelevant to me. I tend to keep my cars until they are towards the end of their useful life so factors like depreciation are not a major concern. My criteria for "a good car" simply include, reliability, practicality, comfort, and economy of use / maintenance. Add in a modicum of driving pleasure and there you have it. It certainly isn't influenced by any trend or fashion. Which is surprising I suppose because my whole working life has depended upon others being strongly influenced by fashion. The business world I move in is inhabited by the most precious of "fashionistas" but it might surprise others to learn that few of them translate this obsession to their choice of daily transport. Many use practical vehicles such as vans or estate cars and rarely bother with so called premium brands. That is not to say that a few would not also have a "toy" in the garage as well, but on a daily basis it is just not important in that culture. Conversely, I have a close relative who works at a senior level in the banking industry and apparently it would be deeply difficult to be credible without driving a premium car despite sporting a chain store suit and carp shoes. Funny old world.
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I don't really care what anyone else thinks of my car. I only concern myself with what I think of my car and how well it suits my needs.
Exactly, I buy car as per my budget and as long as my car doesn't give me trouble I don't listen to what others think about me/my car.
If people could care less about those so called "motoring buffoons" and what "others" would think about their cars, we would have less credit problem in the country now.
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Why would anyone care what Jeremy Clarkson thinks?
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Because he appears to have more IQ than Gordon Brown ;)
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What is all this fuss about?
What IS a Nissan Almera? (Apart from yet another mass market motor with a meaningless name).
What do they look like?
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What IS a Nissan Almera?
Sort of carp-looking smallish Datsun thingy...
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Oh. Right. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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While I firmly stick by my views expressed above, I would say that I find Clarkson amusing in the main. I regard his TV and newspaper reports as entertainment rather than guidance. His irreverence appeals to my sense of humour as opposed to influencing my judgement.
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If the Almera was a character in a soap opera, it would be Ken Barlow.
That sort of thing??
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>>If the Almera was a character in a soap opera, it would be Ken Barlow.
No! Mine's not that charasmatic.
ps. Who's Ken Barlow?
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"Who's Ken Barlow?"
He's a soap opera character.
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"more IQ than Gordon Brown"
Taking car advice from JC (the man who bought a GT40 that gave so much trouble, he sent it back) is a bit like taking financial advice from GB. Both of them only appear to know what they are talking about...
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Wouldny worry too much about it.
We sell plenty enough of them so proves they appeal to a certain buyer who wants VFM instead of badge snobbery.
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"badge snobbery"
Long may it continue. I couldn't possibly have afforded my car without it. :-)
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JC is notorious for passing useless comments.
Once he managed to raise the fury of Malaysian parliament (on his comments on Perodua IIRC).
He is a good clown who entertains the crowd. But that's all.
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I have to defend him a little. His articles in Performance Car in the 80s were brilliant, however of late I have only succeeded in reading one recent write up the the "other place" that was on the Roomster (which he liked) otherwise his pre-ambles are too long or are they pre-rambles ?
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Amusing, knows plenty about cars having unparalleled access, strong and sometimes contrary opinions that he doesn't always seem to expect to be taken seriously.
TG annoys me sometimes with silly stunts, but is mostly fairly undemanding tabloidish pap on a subject I find interesting.
What is a 'public school educated toaster', I wonder? Toasters were sold without any academic qualifications in my day.
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Alas even toasters need annual testing these days.
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Can anyone test them, or does it have to be a bad-tempered little Welsh sausage dog with a curly tail, an arrogant and evasive attitude and an eye-watering price list?
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Why denigrate someone for having a public school education? What relevance is that? Inverted snobbery perchance?
I quite like Clarkson, or at least his on-screen persona. One of the few people on telly who can make me laugh out loud. The documentaries he has done have been well-presented and thoughtful too.
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The documentaries are particularly good. I also forgive him much because of his work for war veterans as well.
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Why denigrate someone for having a public school education?
It's a commonplace attitude among (often public school educated) 'opinion formers' these days. But of course people like Polly Toynbee don't let the fact that they are themselves toffs who have been to public schools deter them from calling other people toffs expecting their readers to see it as an insult. Must seem odd to any reasonable person, toff or non-toff, I would have thought.
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His parents worked very hard to get him an education.
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His mum made Wombles outfits didn't she, for Mike Batt?
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You can bet Clarkson could turn his hand to just about anything.
I`ve always remembered Denise Van Outen (from about 10 years or so ago) seeming like a bit of a chavette on TV. A lot of young women I knew copied that seemingly to their detriment, but it seemed Denise was acting a part and of course was bright, personable and intelligent, able to do just about anything on television or the stage.
Edited by oilrag on 14/04/2008 at 19:30
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Well done Opti!
52 posts on a boring Almera.
Wait till you get hold of a Qashqai!!!! The server wont be able to cope.
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I think Clarkson's remark was more a criticism of the sort of people he finds himself forced to talk to at dinner parties than anything else. I'm sure he could have said the same of any car costing less than £30k.
Without seeing the quote in context it's hard to know what he was getting at.
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Got it in one, krs: "I'm sure he could have said the same of any car costing less than £30k." And would have, too.
I'm grateful for the messages of support and the suggestion that there be an Almeras Anonymous. I think that makes a lot of sense.
The pro- and anti-Clarkson lobbies were well represented and it looked as though there might have been a bit of handbags at twenty paces at one point.
I've learned things I didn't know, eg that the Almera was designed by a fish, "a carp design", and had endorsed what I did: it's a good, value for money, second-hand car which handles as well as a Focus.
Clarkson does make me laugh. His comments on TVR's on the Autotrader site are genuinely funny. But I can't watch Top Gear for more than five minutes. His pose of faux snobbery conceals (not very well) genuine snobbery, I'd say. There were plenty of toasters like him when I was at St Biffo's.
But the problem of discussing my Almera at dinner parties doesn't really affect me. As an Almera owner I never get invited to them.
Edited by Optimist on 15/04/2008 at 11:03
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We own a Renault Scenic, which Clarkson described as "a car for people who have given up on life". I'm also a biker, one a group of people who Clarkson has attacked in many ways from being of questionable sexual preference to being complete "blithering idiots".
Do you know what? I couldn't care less, and I am still a Clarkson fan. Yes he's a snob and a buffoon, and often clueless about cars, but he still makes me laugh. He's an entertainer with car enthusiast leanings, not an authority. Plus, I have no problem with jokes being made at my expense. It's not personal, it's just what he does.
The opinion of one self-confessed idiot who has the means to buy any car he likes means (or should mean) nothing to people who have to live in the real world.
Cheers
DP
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I often comfort myself that Clarkson would look rather silly in leathers and on a bike. Met plenty of people like this in life, if I can't do it it must be rubbish. I am of the same mind when it comes to running, cycling and playing football so quite happy to be called a hypocrite.
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"As an Almera owner I never get invited to them."
Always welcome at mine, bring a few bottles.
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with this many posts perhaps we should form the "AAS" (Almera Apreciation Society)
then we can all be ASS's together !!
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Do you know, I think you may have a point there!
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Some Almera appreciation: When I used to drive an Astra Td during the mid nineties , I once had one of MK1 Almera saloons as a loan car. Compared to the Astra it felt like a Ferrari , and I couldn't believe it was only a 1.4. Really was suprised how sporty it felt.
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I find Clarkson funny on occasion, but the info content of his reviews in the Times is very small. Mostly it seems to be him trying to be clever. I find his constant similies wearisome. "Sitting in a ______ is like.... Opening the bonnet of a_____ is like... trying to shut the window of a _____ is like..." He did a two page review of a car I was interested in and by the end I knew nothing more about it than at the start. He didn't even mention the car until the last quarter of the piece. TG is not really about car's that most of us buy, it's just stunts and dream cars mostly, it seems to me.
I do like his enthusiam for British engineering though.
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Does he really like British engineering? If he does, what on earth does he find to drive round in?
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what on earth does he find to drive round in?
Mercedes-Benz 600, der Grosser Mercedes...
unmistakably British...
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He's a very wealthy windbag unfortunately as well as an arrogant prat.
Someone must like him though!
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Chill out Optimist. What does it matter what Jeremy Clarkson (or anyone else for that matter) thinks?
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So. The great Clarkson, defender of British engineering and denigrator of fine Japanese motor cars, drives round in a teutonic tank. Shurely shome hypocrishy?
Yes, Halmer, people do seem to like him. I read somewhere recently that Top Gear is very popular in the US. They probably have Clarkson and May taped as British toffs and Hammond as the little working class cove wot used to be portrayed by Bryan Forbes or Dickie Attenborough in old war films and wot was orfern a bit ovva coward.
Rule Britannia!
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Remember `Yogi Bear` and the `Beano`?
Popular TV and Car Mags have been a good replacement over the years;)
and seemingly, the BBC weather....
( Am I serious?)
Regards ;);)
Edited by oilrag on 16/04/2008 at 09:05
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A lot of people like him. I'm one of them.
Cheers
DP
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Optimist.
You are not alone.
There's an owners club:
www.almeraownersclub.net/index.php
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