rudeness in the back room - apm
A recent thread has been closed by HJ because it turned nasty. I posted to try to calm things down, and got called Hitler & a crybaby for my pains (nice that, especially to any Jewish readers). I did not get a chance to respond (thread was closed at that point), and won't specifially address that remark, although I found it very offensive.

I would just like to take this opportunity to appeal to everyone to think before you post. I have been part of communities that have degenerated into flame wars to the point that it's just no fun to be around- let's not let that happen here. It's easy to type and send when you're remote at a keyboard, not facing the person you are insulting- I doubt very much the individual that called me Hitler would have done so to my face (I noticed that their profile is hidden)! All credit to the mods for preventing these things as far as they do, but just thinking before hitting send prevents this from even beginning. Otherwise it does leave a bitter taste.

I fully expect to be flamed again, but hope that some of this has got through.

Best to all,

Alex.
--
Dr Alex Mears
MG BGT 1971
If you are in a hole stop digging...unless
you are a miner.
rudeness in the back room - stevied
Good points, and noted, as I tend to rant sometimes... although I do try not to personalise it! : )

Which thread was it? I just want to refer, not to fan any flames........
rudeness in the back room - lordwoody
"What would you do, unfair treatment from" was the thread. Trouble with any forums is it's easy to say things with the benefit of anonymity that one wouldn't say in a face to face situation.
These are pretty calm on the whole, try the 'International' section of the Guardian forums if you want real madness ( and I'm a Guardian reader)
rudeness in the back room - Armitage Shanks {p}
I've been here for a few years and I must say the thread that has been closed was very fiery and unkind. There is another site I go to where people's grammar and spelling is criticized most harshly, rather than any comment on the content of their posting. Policed by the Grammar n***s as I call them. I'd be sorry to see this forum going that way!
rudeness in the back room - Armitage Shanks {p}
Link to the offending thread

www.honestjohn.co.uk/forum/post/index.htm?f=2&t=44...5
rudeness in the back room - stevied
Ouch! Bit harsh. Yes, you're right... we need to make sure we all remain gentlemanly. Some people will probably find that laughable, but it's not a bad aim. I have had some fierce arguments with people on here, but always managed (in my eyes, anyway) to remain friendly and discursive rather than antagonistic.

Armitage, I am a grammar pedant, but I keep it to myself! : ) As long as things are understandable, I am not too bothered about semi-colons and Oxford commas and the like. I think that my pedantry is an internal failing due to my parents being in the teaching profession. So nuff respec' to you "normal" folk. Bo.
rudeness in the back room - FP
I just wanted to echo the good sense voiced earlier in this thread. I get very tired of the "yah, boo, sucks!" responses sometimes encountered here and on other forums I regularly read and occasionally contribute to. At best it's a superficial, unthinking response to something read that the poster doesn't agree with, at worst downright destructive. I have to say it echoes some of my experiences driving, especially when to comes to a lack of understanding, consideration or courtesy for other road-users. Another aspect of it is that some people cannot take fair criticism, however sympathetically put. Apparently some egos are so fragile that the slightest doubt cast in their direct provokes instant rage.

On the whole I think the Back Room seems mainly inhabited by reasonably sane, sensitive people with a sense of humour. Pity a few spoil it.
rudeness in the back room - oldgit
I do wish the people who run forums and moderated on them weren't so fussy and petty sometimes. If it were not for the vanity of we contributors, there would not be any need for them in the first place and they would just fade away (the forums, that is). I know of many such forums where the number of posts can be counted on just one's fingers alone!

Why don't we all just shut up and withdraw our services and then everyone one would, presumably, be satisfied? However, as I said earlier, I expect that it is the vanity of us all, that persuades us to contribute and see our thoughts on the internet and places such as these.

I personally don't condone rudeness or flaming on forums , but sometimes people do overstep the mark and are usually castigated accordingly. However, we do not need to be treated like children.
rudeness in the back room - martint123
This is a nice and pleasant place. Unlike many other internet places.

HJ does right to stamp on things like this. The earlier the better, rather than letting things get worse and fester. The mods do a good job and the rules are published and well known. Transgressors and moaners to mods should get 3 points - as in other places - 12 points = a ban.

Martin
rudeness in the back room - mss1tw
But I'm a fast typist :o(
rudeness in the back room - Dynamic Dave
All credit to the mods for preventing these things as far as they do, but just thinking before hitting send prevents
this from even beginning. Otherwise it does leave a bitter taste.


We do try our best, but as Alex quite rightly says, think before sending.
I fully expect to be flamed again,


If that does happen, this thread will also get locked.

DD.
rudeness in the back room - Armitage Shanks {p}
The 'other site' I go to has the feature whereby one can edit one's own posts after posting - this is dead useful but probably expensive to run. We are talking about a site with 127,000 members, not all active obviously, but very busy The forums/fora each have a counter to tell you how many people are 'in' ithem- a typical figure is about 150 per forum and the maximum number of users across all boards is nearly 3000 at once!
rudeness in the back room - Lud
I imagine 'flaming' is multiple, impolite criticism or denunciation?

I have to say that once or twice it has occurred to me that someone deserved flaming. But not very often.

What I have noticed is that some people seem to think they are being flamed when they aren't.

Another thing I have noticed is that I often can't imagine why people care as much as they do (or seem to) about some utterly piffling issue. Makes me want to post offhand or even rude replies.

I have to say though that this forum is a pleasant place, and often amusing. Wouldn't want it to become yobbish.
rudeness in the back room - Adam {P}
I'm probably in the minority here at not wanting an edit button. When you say something in "real" life, you can't edit it - so that's as it should be here. Besides - I visit a forum where people can do this and half the time the threads make no sense because someone's referring to a comment that's been edited and is no longer valid. I do think there are other more useful features that could go on this forum but probably can't due to the software but that's off topic.

With regards to the rudeness - sadly, that's just the way life is. There are always rude people, always people you'd love to punch square between the eyes and always people who will call you all the names under the sun. The trick is to try and ignore it. I don't think it's too bad here - I know there are a few people on here who aren't especially enamoured with me but no-one on here annoys me to the extent whereby I'd go into a flying rage and call them all sorts of names (although I do have a short temper - I never really seem to get angered on here - weird). Conversely, I do browse one forum (but don't post) where everyone is sugary nice with posts like "Oh that's very nice" - "yes I agree" - "Couldn't agree more" and that does get annoying. I like the wide range of opinions here and to be honest, quite like getting into the odd heated debate (without resorting to any unpleasantness though). That's what makes here (and life) fun.

I've been here for nearly 3 years now and made God knows how many posts. I've been edited probably hundreds of times - I'm probably the most edited person on here as most of you will know! And rightly so in most situations ;-) I'm not whiter than white - I've called people the odd name and I've gotten into full blown arguments - not unecessarily though - I'd like to think the people I've...fenced with on the odd occasion have deserved it. I'm not saying it's right - of course, we shouldn't all insult each other and I like the friendliness of the BR - always have. But that's not to say that the odd person (and I certainly don't mean Doc Alex when I say this) could possibly take the odd comment the wrong way and get upset by it.

I've seen a few idiots come and go and a few good people come and go too but by and large I think we're still ok. There are still some aspects of the BR from around 3 years ago that I'd still like to see here today but trust me, compared to some of the forums I visit, we're all gents here - and ladies - NoWheels, Rebecca... ::tips cap:: This place is full of friendly, helpful people but also people who will tell you when you're being stupid.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.
rudeness in the back room - oldgit
The 'other site' I go to has the feature whereby one
can edit one's own posts after posting...........


Personally, I dont know of any other forum that I use, where one CANNOT edit what one has posted! It is an almost essential feature, I would think.
rudeness in the back room - No FM2R
>>I posted to try to calm things down,

No you didn't.
rudeness in the back room - BazzaBear {P}
I think the post answering your own was a bit un-necessary, but I have to admit that people coming along and telling the mods to close threads is quite a pet hate of mine. Not quite Hitler-ite, but I'm sure the mods are capable of making the decision themselves without our help.

Until that reply, I didn't see that the thread had anything particularly bad about it. There was a disagreement, but I would hardly say it had descended into insults. If we closed every thread which had people disagreeing in it, the internet would be an empty place.
rudeness in the back room - No FM2R
DD had it handled until Doctor thingy came over the hill on his self-righteous indignation. And his note seemingly came from no attempt to calm anything down, just from a need to say something despite hav ing nothing to say. Not particularly unusual, but setting himself up a as peacemaker and THEN starting *another* thread on the same subject is worthy of ridicule.
rudeness in the back room - apm
Oh dear, I was afraid this might happen.

No FM2R- I think if you read my original post again (in the other thread), you'll hopefully realise that it wasn't motivated from self-righteous indignation or anything like that, just trying to calm things down (wish I hadn't bothered now!). I started this thread to address rudeness generally, not yours or component_part's in particular. You'll notice that I purposely didn't mention any names at the beginning of this thread, nor the previous thread itself, to make sure that it wasn't personal. Finally, the fact that a discussion has ensued means, surely, that the thread was worth starting?

I'm sure someone will let me know if I'm way out of line here.

Cheers then,

Alex.
--
Dr Alex Mears
MG BGT 1971
If you are in a hole stop digging...unless
you are a miner.
rudeness in the back room - Hamsafar
Here we go again! and same person too!
rudeness in the back room - Dalglish
very good illustration of "godwin's law", which roughly states:

The law states:

As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving n***s or Hitler approaches one. [1]

Godwin observed that people had increasingly begun to compare anyone and anything they mildly disliked with Hitler and/or Fascism.

Godwin's Law does not dispute whether, in a particular instance, a reference or comparison to Hitler or the n***s might be apt. It is precisely because such a reference or comparison may sometimes be appropriate, Godwin argues in his book, Cyber Rights: Defending Free Speech in the Digital Age, that hyperbolic overuse of the Hitler/n*** comparison should be avoided, as it robs the valid comparisons of their impact.

Although in one of its early forms Godwin's Law referred specifically to Usenet newsgroup discussions[2], the law is now applied to any threaded online discussion: electronic mailing lists, message boards, chat rooms, and more recently blog comment threads and Wikipedia discussion pages.


rudeness in the back room - Citroënian {P}
Godwin's law in action it would seem

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin's_law


-- You know, it\'s not like changing toothpaste
rudeness in the back room - Citroënian {P}
^^ Dagnabbit Dalglish, posting the same thing as me at the same time.... :-)


-- You know, it\'s not like changing toothpaste
rudeness in the back room - Dalglish
citroenian: so i might as well add:

There is a tradition in many newsgroups and other Internet discussion forums that once such a comparison is made, the thread is finished and whoever mentioned the n***s has automatically "lost" whatever debate was in progress. This principle is itself frequently (though perhaps incorrectly) referred to as Godwin's Law.

It is considered poor form to arbitrarily raise such a comparison with the motive of ending the thread. There is a widely recognized codicil that any such ulterior-motive invocation of Godwin's Law (in the above sense) will be unsuccessful. This is sometimes referred to as "Quirks's Exception". It should be noted however, that continued expansion of the Internet has recently given rise to "RGB's Restriction of Quirk's Exception", to wit, "In cases where the subject of the comparison to Hitler fails to recognize the applicability of Quirk's Exception, Quirk's Exception shall not apply and Godwin's Law shall take effect in its normal manner."


rudeness in the back room - Citroënian {P}
Mornington Crescent?

My coffee addled brain is struggling with Quirk's exception....

-- You know, it\'s not like changing toothpaste
rudeness in the back room - wemyss
There is absolutely no need for anyone to respond to posts in a aggressive or belligerent manner because they disagree.
Politeness maketh the man and if anyone feels that a post is wrong or the question is obvious they should simply not respond if he feels that way.
One can disagree in a pleasant manner without childish insults.
I note that our most respected experts such as Aprilia and Number Cruncher never resort to showing off by having a ?I know it all so I must be right? attitude or attempting to belittle others.
Standards on this forum should be kept as high as possible to retain its good quality members or otherwise it would degenerate to just being one of thousands of forums instead of being probably the best.


rudeness in the back room - Murphy The Cat
Would anyone else like a nice cup of tea ? The kettles on and I'm sure that i could squeeze another cup out of the pot.

ooohh and theres some home made tiffin as well for anyone who's peckish.

MTC
rudeness in the back room - Lud
Who are you looking at Murphy? Eh? Eh?
rudeness in the back room - drbe
I'm enjoying this.
rudeness in the back room - PoloGirl
I'm a moderator on another site, and the spats on here are nothing compared to all out war you sometimes get on there! That forum has the option for people to be able to edit their post for up to an hour (can be more/less depending on settings), which would be useful here. That said, it's a Vbulletin forum, which would probably cost more than this one to run.

I kind of like the simplicity of this place, and that fact that, generally, it doesn't degenerate into "well you can't spell so you can't possibly have a valid point" type arguments. If I threw my toys out and flounced every time someone ignored me or spoke down to me simply because I'm young and/or female, I wouldn't have lasted three days, let alone three years. The beauty of this place (although I haven't yet looked at the thread in question) is that even when there's an argument, it's usually beautifully crafted and a joy to read. ;)

Have to say though, posting another thread about a thread which has already been locked seems to have no purpose other than to fan the flames.
rudeness in the back room - Number_Cruncher
The fact that the discussions on this site don't degerate more often is, for me, quite surprising.

I think that for some, questioning their automotive knowledge is akin to questioning their orientation, because for some odd reason, everyone expects that all blokes know about cars - as if a deep knowledge of the engineering principles is somehow carried along the umbelical cord!!

Even worse, however, is that so many are informed about automotive matters either by entertainment TV programs or by glossy magazines written by people who know about creating good copy rather than the technicalities of which they write or speak. Most magazines, when the going gets technical, are simply wrong!

I think the glue that holds the site together is that there a **few** people on here who really know what they are talking about - particularly No_fm2r's knowledge of matters to do with contractual matters and insurance - as such, I have learnt lots from them.

I do think that when a correspondant is being spectacularly dim, it is difficult to resist a degree of sarcasm and antagonism - to an extent, they desrve it IMO.

Number_Cruncher

rudeness in the back room - component part
Firstly, I apologise for calling you a Hitler. Hardly offensive to Jews in my opinion but an uncalled for personal insult, I am sorry for that.

But my original point stands-that thread was hardly a flame war-if you don't like a thread, you know how to use the back button, don't read it. If a post is illegal, grossly offensive, racist, 'against the rules (if you're really that much of a pedant, which you probably are), then click the button that's marked 'report this post'. But to call publicly for thread to be shut down, because in your own over blown opinion it is no longer a worthy discussion is poor behaviour also. It reminds me of a snivelling, hand wringing traffic warden or the little snitch at school. You don't have to read a thread if you don't like it.

Once again, apologies for the personal insult. Hardly the end of the world though, IMO.
rudeness in the back room - apm
I'm not going to come down to your level, component part.

I'm not sure what you get out of doing this, but I hope you get something!

I am fully conversant on the use of the back button, but the whole point is that this is a pleasant forum to be a part of, largely because people don't get offensively personal about one another. The point of my original post and this thread was as a small reminder of that.

In my opinion, your comments are rude and unjustified. THAT is what is not acceptable. No FM2R has lobbed a couple of comments my way, and while they were arguably argumentative, I didn't find them personally offensive, and I'm certain that he did not mean to deliberately offend me. You, on other hand, seem to be going out of your way to cause offence.

I'm going to annoy BazzaBear & pologirl (apologies) and ask the mods to close this too- my original intention to begin a discussion has been personalised- exactly what I was hoping to avoid.

A.
--
Dr Alex Mears
MG BGT 1971
If you are in a hole stop digging...unless
you are a miner.
rudeness in the back room - Murphy The Cat
no takers for a brew then ------ shame.

The world always looks a better place after a brew.

MTC
rudeness in the back room - component part
Like I say, I am sorry for the personal insult.

You don't like people getting offensive, even slightly, I don't like people calling for threads to be closed because in their opinion it is no longer a worthy debate. That's what annoyed me, found it quite offensive in fact, although I'm sure that wasn't your intention.
rudeness in the back room - apm
Ok- apology accepted, and I apologise for asking for the thread to be closed- as you say, I hadn't realised it would offend anyone.

Forget the tea- Murphy, you got any beers in? I'll have a Deuchars IPA. And how about some nuts?

A.
--
Dr Alex Mears
MG BGT 1971
If you are in a hole stop digging...unless
you are a miner.
rudeness in the back room - stevied
Murphy, make us a brew will you?

rudeness in the back room - Adam {P}
Two sugars in mine mate.
rudeness in the back room - Murphy The Cat
You'll like this one

It's Farrers Lakeland Special, lovely cup it is too.

Biscuit, or a piece of Tiffin ?

MTC
rudeness in the back room - Adam {P}
No mint cake?
rudeness in the back room - mike hannon
aaaaah, I needed that...
rudeness in the back room - Murphy The Cat
I>> No mint cake?

I'm sorry Adam, please excuse me.

I can offer you, white, brown or if you've been a good chap, some chocolate covered.

The choice is yours.

MTC

p.s anyone for a top up ?
rudeness in the back room - PoloGirl
Ahh..I love this fluffy place! :)

I've got a bag of mint poppets here if anyone wants one.
rudeness in the back room - Adam {P}
No toffee ones?


rudeness in the back room - component part
I'm always happiest when drunk (not at the moment, I'm at work, I swear)!

Tea's good tho
rudeness in the back room - Murphy The Cat
I'm always happiest when drunk (not at the moment, I'm at
work, I swear)!
Tea's good tho


I could organise some Cumbrian Rum Butter to go on a toasted teacake if you like ?

MTC
rudeness in the back room - Xileno {P}
What strange things. Rum butter? Yuk.
Camp coffee would be nice tho.
rudeness in the back room - turbo11
Camp coffee.Thats a name i havn't heard in a long time!.Showing my age.
rudeness in the back room - Andy P
I've got some Badger First Gold....birthday present from my mates at work!
rudeness in the back room - stevied
I haven't got any Camp coffeee, but I have some vaguely effeminate orange juice.
rudeness in the back room - Murphy The Cat
Hello at the back ------- is that you apm ??

Oh good, i though that I heard your MG turning up.

Chaps, hang on a second, could some =one pass this bottle of Theakstons Old Peculier back to apm, and this packet of ready salted peanuts as well ?

Cheers, thanks a lot.

Xileno, I have iton good authority that you don't like Cumbrias finest Rum Butter !!!!!! Would you care for some Grasmere Gingerbread instead ?

MTC
rudeness in the back room - Lud
Surely no one actually likes Camp coffee?

Last time I tasted it was at the Mainland Hotel in Lagos. Served with hot milk in a sort of regimental silverplate coffee service. The actual stuff was an incredible letdown, very annoyingly because I'd been looking forward to it for days. Oddly, since it grows there, coffee can be hard to come by in Africa.
rudeness in the back room - component part
See-only in the Backroom could a thread born from negative reasons become a positive, happy affair-this place really is unique:-)

rudeness in the back room - smokie
Dave may have something more to say about this one when he sees it but seeing as people seem happy now (for a few minutes at least) I shall lock this one too.

There have been a few words and insults during these two threads which would have been best left unsaid, please think twice before pressing the Post This Message button.

Also, please use the Report to Moderator button to draw a moderator's attention to something which is grieving you. We can't be here all the time, but that button prompts an email to us which is more likely to come to our attention if we are busy. You won't always get our agreement but you will get a fair hearing.

smokie, BR Moderator