Unbeleivable car stories. - David Woollard
We've all heard them down the pub. What's the daftest you've been told. And no cheating by pasting in anything from here seen in the last copuple of weeks!

Here's a starter.

Guy at work a few years ago always would top anything you could tell him. We were talking about old cars that went on for ever.

He says..."When I dug my patio round the back I went a bit mad and was short of hardcore to fill the hole. So I looked around and thought my old Viva wasn't used, put that in the hole and slabbed over it. That was a good motor, you could dig it up now and it would only need the battery charging to start first time."

He could always get anything cheap as well, till you actually said you'd have it.

"Got a mate with some new video recorders, boxed and everything there for £50. (This was when they were all £400+)."

OK I'll have one. He comes back the next day. "Found out they're all Betamax". No problem I'll still have it.

"Spoken to my mate and he'll only sell ten at a time". That's OK I'll take ten and sell the rest on.

"Spoken to my mate again and he says they're a factory reject with pink cases". No problem I'll still have ten.

"Seen my mate again, he's opened the boxes and although it says they're videos on the box actually there's bathroom scales inside".

Fine, I'd like some pink bathroom scales...bring them in...........and so it could go on for weeks.

Re: Unbeleivable car stories. - John Slaughter
Chap I know is convinced his 318Ti compact had a turbo, coz it had a 'T' in the title. Keeps saying 'it really went well when the turbo cut in'.


Re: Unbeleivable car stories. - andy bairsto
have you noticed the new 316 bmws have in fact a 1800 motor.Going back to the turbo where did he think it is situated ,perhaps in the boot
Re: Unbeleivable car stories. - Mark (Brazil)
and the 523 has a 2.5l engine. Why ?
Re: Unbeleivable car stories. - Andrew Smith
In the case of the 316 is suspect it is to keep insurance down. Similarly the 520 is up to 2.2l now.
The 523 was so named to separate it from the 525 which had the same capacity but added variable valve timing to generate more power.
Confusing isn't it. I believe Merc do the same thing so a C180 has a 2l engine and an E240 has a 2.6.
Re: Unbeleivable car stories. - John Slaughter
My 323 is a 2.5 with variable valve timing, and current 316's are actually 1.9 litre, chipped to produce les pwer than the (1.9 l) 318

You're right, though, the 'adjustments' to badges indicated small power downrates compared to the previous models. I assume these relate to emissions related requirements.


Re: Unbeleivable car stories. - Darcy Kitchin
Maybe it was a Universal Turbo; apparently you can put these anywhere.
Tiptronic - Guy Lacey
A girl I once knew was the annoying type whose parents had *everything* and so did she - when boasting about her new car I asked "Does it have a Tiptronic gearbox?"

"Oh yes, she replied, of course."

Shame it was a Fiesta Popular Plus.
Re: Tiptronic - David Woollard
But of course you still.......went out with her.

Re: Tiptronic - Ashley
Only when travelling to the local tip though Guy !


Re: Unbeleivable car stories. - Alvin Booth
In the Forces the guys who could always top everything you said were always referred to as BlackCatters.
They always had a cat blacker than yours.
I still use this phrase today and get some odd looks.

Re: Tiptronic - honest john
In answer to Mark (Brazil) BMW has now changed the names of the 323i and 523i to 325i and 525i. Now why did they do that?

Re: Tiptronic - John Slaughter
I believe because the power outputs have gone back up. Original 325 185 bhp, 2.5 l 323 170 bhp, latest 325 back up to 187 ish.

mad, isn't it?

Re: Tiptronic - Alex. L. Dick
There I was upside down at zero feet, nothing on the clock and Focke-Wulfs all round.......

Value my car