Really nice 82yrold lady next door, managed to reverse out of her garage - it's a bit awkward for anyone to do this, but during her attempts to turn, she stopped & then reversed into a stationary Golf, didn't know she'd done it, moved forward & repeated the collision, again unknowingly!!
These were low speed, direct & heavyish, impacts. She was faster than most of us would reverse, as she does over rev, while she tries to turn & move onto the steep incline, towards the garages.
She did quite a bit of damage to the Golfs bumper, but didn't shatter it, which was lucky. The guy was in the Golf - he was pretty amazed at what she'd done (twice!!) & accepted her £100 cheque, rather than prolong things.
So no injuries, but the usual 'what if...' thoughts are in my mind, it really was a rapid movement & certainly a nasty result, if a person had been behind her.
How do I, without appearing a busy body, suggest she might now want to think about using taxis, instead of driving. She does use her car for lots of journeys, for her church & friends & is a very active lady. Also she's articulate & with it, just a little hard of hearing, so I'm not suggesting 'daft old bat' or anything disrespectful, 'cos she isn'tl!!!
VB
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You don't live near Reading University by any chance do you?? We had an elderly neighbour that used to do the exact same thing on a regular basis!!
You're lucky she's a church type person - she's less likely to tell you where to go if you mention something. Just go for it.
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I'll never forget a similar aged old lady in a car park in Tavistock a few years ago.
I had just parked my old van in a space. Now this van was hard to miss. It was the old style Renault Trafic in purple and orange - not colours you would think would miss the eye.
This sweet little old lady proceeded to reverse into the front bumper of the van quite fast She bounced off it and came to a stop about half a car length away. She then got out of the car and proceeded to lock it as if nothing had happened.
When I told her politely what she had done she wouldn't hear anything of it, even when I pointed out that she had managed to bounce her car half a car length away from my van so her car was now protruding out of her parking space by several feet. It took an independed witness, to convince her that this had happened.
Fortunately it was my old van and i didn't suffer any damage - well if I had received minor damage I wouldn't have bothered with it.
The only thing I regret is not taking her reg no and having a quiet word with the local police. I wouldn't have wanted to get her into troublebut they may have encouraged her to take up her entitlement to a free bus pass.
On the other side of the coin my late mother once phoned me some years ago. She sounded ill. A few weeks later she told me that she had been stopped by the police because of her driving. The officers immediately recognised the situation and one offered to driver her and her car back home whilst the other followed. She was seen safely into her house and they strongly suggested that she contacted her doctor.
She did this and the doctor delivered the news that she had suffered a stroke. She was completely unaware of this. However several of her friends had noticed that she looked and sounded unwell and suggested that she saw the doc. It took two uniformed police officers and the blue flashing lights to finally convince her.
The police did not prosecute.
VB, I would consider approaching her relatives next time they visit if you are on nodding terms, if you feel that approaching her would not have the right outcome.
This lady, like my mother, could have suffered a minor stroke or similar and be totally unaware of it. Her wellbeing could be helped my your tactful intervention.
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Hugo is spot on. This really is a difficult dilema to address.
Whether its pride or just total denial that they could have or have been anything but a perfect driver; as they have been for a lifetime its difficult to say.
Unless it is something a little bit more serious that they have been involved in and that has been brought to the attention of or witnessed by the old bill then they will be reluctant to be involved. After all we all have had a senior moment at some time.
From a professional point of view I used to sit down and explain the implications of the decline of faculties with the passing of years and how it must be difficult to come to terms with the realisation that their reaction were not as good as they once were. I tried to get the family or a good friend on board and let them do the badgering. You tend to find that their concerns are the same as yours but they have difficulty addressing it themselves. Your intervention may just be the catalyst.
From a Police point of view. It was quite simple. Providing there was a substantive offence of say careless driving. Having had a 'chat' there would be three options :
1. They accepted that the time had come and surrendered their licence which was sent with a
covering report to DVLA.
2. They were informed that the second option would be to be reported with a recommendation
on conviction that a test should be taken.
3. They were reported and court proceedings instigated.
I found that in every case we got as far as 2 as there was a self realisation that they would struggle to get through a test and they did not want the embarrasement.
Very sad really. Best go for a burn on the bike whilst I still have my faculties.
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V
it's a very difficult situation. My FiLs driving is dubious but I just daren't open the subject with him, nor dare my wife. A car gives independence. Take that away and they're housebound. Our modern society where we live considerable distances from our parents means it's difficult to impossible, to help them. There are no longer corner shops, just supermarkets outside of town. Internet shopping? Have you ever seen anyone use a mouse two handed and then only succeed in doubling up one of the desk top icons? Then there's public transport. Stop laughing at the back. An acquaintance has his MiL in a home after she was nearly killed when a bus, on which she was a passenger, braked sharply while she was stood. So what's the answer? If you find out, let me know. I know I'm not looking forward to getting old.
JH
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JH, the final clincher that made my father give up after 55 years of good driving and 5 getting scary - we wrote out how much it cost him to run the car with tax, insurance, petrol, servicing and so on, then added on how much he would get for his two year old Sunny. We then costed several trips out a week by taxi - with the added bonus of Ma not telling him off for his driving - and found it was cheaper to take the taxi and more enjoyable. We found a local firm and went from there.
By the way, public transport did not exist unless you were a school child.
He actually gave away his car, but that is another story of modern attitudes.
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d
thanks for the suggestion, I'll talk it over with swmbo. It doesn't solve how he tows his caravan of course. :-)
JH
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2 Part series ITV1 starts next Monday at 9pm - 'Driving me crazy'. All about elderley drivers.
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Some good POVs on this thread. HJ was spot on saying it's not age it's condition.. I always have mixed feelings about my dad driving, he is 70 odd now and I think "maybe it's getting worse" but if truth be told, it's always been off-competent.
I have finally talked him into getting an automatic: he is a 3rd gear on the motorway 5th gear to overtake from 30 type driver, but the only thing that clinched it was my mum getting osteoporosis. So, illness above pride. : )
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