Do you think it's the battery? (Vectra) - WhyDidIBuyAVectra!
Being of the female persuasion and knowing as much about cars as I do about rugby - which is zilch - although I do like men in shorts - I opened my grumpy old Vectra this morning and noticed that the doors unlocked rather slowly and the beep for the alarm turning off sounded a bit feeble. Put the key in the ignition and turned it till the electrics came on and then put my seatbelt on as I do every time I start it. Tried to turn the engine over and a) it didn't crank b)I heard ticking which of course meant I'd tripped the alarm. Sirens blaring I got out and tried the 'stick key in lock and turn it twice to the left to turn the alarm off' thing and got no response - it wouldn't turn the alarm off and it wouldn't relock the door. So I came inside for a cup of tea and to hide from all the neighbours I'd woken up.

There have been a few dodgy starts recently when it's fired up and then cut out immediately, or occasions when it's needed to turn over a good few times before starting up - so I'm not entirely surprised - I suspected something was up but put it down to the cold weather. So before I phone a man who can - my instinct for what it's worth is that the 2-year-old battery has had it and I need a new one (she says hoping it's not more expensive that that - this car's cost me a fortune in garage bills!) The car hasn't been driven for a week and it's used to making (small) journies almost every day. Or it could be a dodgy battery connection or the immobiliser I guess - but I can't find the book which tells me what to do if I've activated it - I live in chaos. Now I don't dare go near the thing because the alarm keeps going off every time I touch it - and there's nothing feeble-sounding about that! So - a) how do you re-mobilise a Vectra and b) do you think it's the battery?
Do you think it's the battery? (Vectra) - Dynamic Dave

First thing you need to do is try and charge the battery (preferably off the vehicle).

A word of warning before removing the battery. The alarm has a separate battery backup, and disconnecting the battery incorrectly will trigger the alarm. That is why the alarm went off when you tried starting the car. The car's battery was that flat that the alarm thought it had been disconnected.
The way to correctly remove the car's battery is to turn on and then turn off the ignition. Now you have 15 seconds to disconnect the battery. The best way to do this is first slacken off the -ve battery connection so that you don't have to mess about with spanners knowing those 15 seconds are ticking away. Turn on/off the ignition and then just pull off the connection you've slackened. Alternately a second pair of hands would come in handy for this.

If after a number of hours (say 12) the freshly charged battery doesn't start the car, then it's a safe bet that the battery has had it. Being only 2 yrs old though, I would suspect it's simply flat rather than knackered. Doing short runs hasn't been enough to charge it properly, I would imagine.

If the freshly charged battery does start the car, then look to see if your alternator light is still on after the engine is running. If it is, then that *could* be the cause of your problems.

There are of course other factors, but lets start with the simplest ones first.
Do you think it's the battery? (Vectra) - WhyDidIBuyAVectra!
Thanks - you're a hero - I'll try to do that without electrocuting myself and let you know what happens!
Do you think it's the battery? (Vectra) - mfarrow
If you're doing it youself I'd recommend disconnecting the negative(-) lead first, and reconnecting it last. That way if the spanner/wrench touches anything metal of the bodywork when you're tightening/undoing the positive connection, it won't give you a nasty surprise.
Do you think it's the battery? (Vectra) - John24
Trust you got the battery disconnected OK. Worth noting that if you only do short journeys with lights, demister and heater fan all going then the battery will never recharge the power used to start on a cold morning. Add in lying idle for a week and you have a classic scenario for flat battery. Worth occasionally taking the car for a longish run without using ancilliaries to give the alternator a chance to top up the battery or invest in a cheap charger and use this to top up.