I'm popping down to the shops for some bread and milk. I am unsure whether to walk, cycle or take the car. Could the forum advise?
Well now, after careful consideration for all of 14 seconds....
Walk....hmm it's raining here, so that will mean the umbrella will have to come out, no point in going without taking the dog for a walk, so you have two problems now, once loaded with bread and milk you will have either no hand for the brolly or no hand for the dog's lead, that means either you should have sported a wide brimmed titfer and forgon the brolly, or you should have schooled your dog to walk at heel perfectly. Factor in some busybody will disapprove of you tying the dog up outside whilst you shop, then you'll be delayed fending off some bod from the RSPCA ...so, walkings out.
Cycle...again the rain, you'll need to waterproof yourself, which is a pita, means digging out the sou'wester and bright yellow cape, fixing the statutory flat tyre before departure which means removing and redonning the aforesaid waterproofs, then you've got to find the padlock you thought was attached to the bike, but the kids borrowed it 12 months ago, which is incidentally the last time you rode, so you'll wobble and end up under the wheels of a bus..so, cyclings out.
Take the car...not really the sort of thing that's good for the environment is it, couldn't you wait for the bus that's probably due monday at 0915, but will be cancelled. Assuming you're the archtypical antisocial car owner that still expects to use the car he paid for, hmmfph, you start the car and get going towards the shop. It's probaly one mile away, but in the interests of the environment the anti car council has rearranged the one way system so you have to drive round terraced streets past two hospitals and four childrens play areas, a total of 6 miles to get back to the shop, when you get there a jobsworth with a sense of humour bypass will charge you £1.40 for the privelidge of parking. You have to wait 20 minutes till the the first person returns thereby vacating a space, they can't drive and they've driven into the space, which means they'll take 16 shunts to back out, just as you go to drive in the space you run out of fuel, you go and get some fuel and finally park. You get your shopping, and return to find you've overtstayed your time slot and jobsworth is trying not to show his evil axe murderer smirk as he's put a £60 ticket on your car for overstay, this doesn't bother you too much though as the family from hell with 6 kids have parked beside you and the neanderthals have opended both doors onto your car and put dents in it, and you've got a flat tyre because the winos and drug addicts use the car park at night and you've driven onto broken glass...so drivings out.
Oh and if you're still reading this you're a daft as i am, Go online and get it delivered.
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