Given the fact that this site has been discovered by at least one already, what tips (clean, motoring related ones that is !) has the Back-Room got for all those Helpless Female Drivers out there ?
Can I start by suggesting that all HFD's study the relationship between the colour of petrol pump nozzles and what comes out of them :-)
Purely TIC you understand !
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FIrstly I find HFD's tend to watch out for bikers in motorway traffic better than blokie drivers.
Secondly. I don't beleive for a second there are any real women on the site. They are just fake ID's created by the management to stimulate some interest from sad petrol heads...
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These are my own opinions, and not necessarily those of all Toads.
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Toad - I can vouch for the fact that HF is of the fairer s%x. The figure is there together with the feminine ways of course but the conclusive proof for me is that she NEVER drives faster than 25 MPH !
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...... and only changes gear after stalling !
Sorry HF, you won't hurt me later will you ! ;-)
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How touching, Volvo, a thread especially for me and my ilk!
Will ponder appropriate punishment throughout the day!
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Try to be imaginative ;-)
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Toad - first, you're right, I DO always keep a good lookout for bikers - but that's probably because my other half is one, so maybe I'm more aware of the dangers than some.
Second, you're wrong! - I'm real, and certainly not a creation by management - do you really think any man would be able to speak as ignorantly on motoring matters as I do, however hard they tried?!
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My own opinion, and not necessarily that of Growler Inc, its owners, employers, heirs, agents or associates is that HFD is either:
(a) LAC resurrected; and, or
(b) a non-malignant troll designed to stimulate certain areas for discussion in order to gather information on who is and who is not PC in matters of gender stereotyping for puposes as yet undisclosed.
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Having had a bit of a nose through some of the archives, I gather that LAC was an individual with a habit of annoying and alienating others on the site. I hope I'm not guily of doing the same but please say if I am.
What's a troll?
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How can we persuade all these doubters that you're all woman HF ?
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Please be assured all those of overtly PC orientation that I - Volvolman - do not discriminate against women and did not seek to offend anyone. This post was supposed to be directed solely at that proportion of female drivers who are 'Helpless' ;-)
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Please be assured all those of overtly PC orientation that I - Volvolman - do not discriminate against women and did not seek to offend anyone. This post was supposed to be directed solely at that proportion of female drivers who are 'Helpless' ;-)
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The appropriate PC terminology should perhaps be 'helpless person drivers' ;)
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The appropriate PC terminology should perhaps be 'helpless person drivers' ;)
'helpless "pergender-neutral-offspring" drivers' surely?!
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..is Lee's 'Backroom photosite' still running?
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..is Lee's 'Backroom photosite' still running?
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But in that case I could simply send in a photo of my wife, it still wouldn't be conclusive proof - erm - oops!!!
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Volvo - bit hard over the net isn't it?
I expect they'll be persuaded when I finally get round to posting my 'what car?' question!
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You could always set up a web-cam, invite the doubters to 'log on' then subject you to intense motoring related interrogation.
ps have you come up with anything for later yet ?
I'm off to do my decorating.
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>> ps have you come up with anything for later yet ? A punishment to fit the crime - how about a guided tour of the locality, in MY car, driven by ME, using my own innate sense of direction? (Got a few spare hours?)
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Most, if not all modern cars have automatic chokes, where do they hang their handbags these days? :o)
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We keep them on our laps - much safer that way when trying to locate make-up bag and hair accessories at traffic lights ;)
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Yet to meet a truly helpless female in any sphere of life...this is, generally, a cunning ploy.
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Yet to meet a truly helpless female in any sphere of life...this is, generally, a cunning ploy.
You're obviously not slipping the right stuff in their drinks! ;-)
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These are my own opinions, and not necessarily those of all Toads.
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Pug' - HF is far from being a helpless female - she's just a 'Helpless Female Driver'.
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How about a refresher course on safe following distances. I get tailgated by HFDs all the time just recently. Or is that because of the Lynx effect.
GJD
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How about a refresher course on safe following distances. I get tailgated by HFDs all the time just recently.
Q. How do you make a woman instantly blind ??
A. Stick her behind a steering-wheel :o)
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Blind?
Back when i was at school, I used to pocket my bus money, and thumb home from school.
One day, two women drove past me, chatting away 19 to the dozen. Didn't stop and give me a lift...
My mum and her friend...
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GJD
Well-known trait that - female spatial awareness is different (I didn't say inferior) from male. Males tailgating are agressive, females are just being, erm, female.
:o)
Terry
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Interesting terryb - I always try to keep a ridiculously large gap between me and the car in front - because my 'different' spatial awareness means that I haven't a clue how long I'd need for stopping in the event of an emergency.
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And you wouldn't want all that make-up, those tapes and all other assorted lady junk sliding off the seat onto the floor, would you? ;o)
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By the way, it just me or does anyone else think that there ARE a lot more aggressive FDs on the road nowadays than there were a few years ago?
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