It has oft been said by HIMBO to others that I am always telling him where to park, which local route to take, which is the better option in various scenarios etc. etc. The implication is that I am that scourge of the motorist A BACK SEAT DRIVER. I always refute his aspersions and point out that I only give an opinion when asked.
Recently we had to pick up a daughter at Gatwick Airport. On arrival at the Airport we parked on the ground floor in the only available space albeit that it was a tight squeeze. Having met up with said daughter we repaired back to the car. HIMBO gets in the driver's seat, daughter and I sit in the rear and continue to rabbit away.
I become aware that he is reversing very slowly to avoid the
adjacent vehicles and then, as he begins pick up speed and swing the car to the left I look to the rear of the car and I just know that he is going to hit the rear metal barrier. I had to put both hands over my mouth to stop myself saying something to warn him.
Yup, he hit the barrier and crushed a rear light casing. I forbore to say that I could see what was going happen.
Subsequently he was lucky to find a replacement part at a local breakers for 15 quid and fixed it himself. Otherwise it would have cost him in the region of £70 plus vat from a main dealer.
Which just goes to show that I have not now nor ever have been a literal Back Seat Driver. I will concede, however, that it not unknown for me to assume the role of a Front Seat Advisor but only when absolutely necessary and in an unpaid capacity.
Any other Back Seat Driver stories?
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People who can't drive can be terrible back seat drivers. They always slam the doors as well.
Did I leave my lights on?
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Oh dear, my daughter accuses me of this.
So I shut up, then she drove into a Sainsbury's concrete pillar. Damn............
Be patient everybody, we old rally navigators just can't break the habit.
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Yeah, used to be quite guilty of being one of these for a while, but experience imparts learning and ultimately wisdom. I learned over time that my excesses in terms of being critical, or frightened, or there, could cause even greater levels of distraction and harassment in my chauffeuse. To try and counteract this undesired effect, occasions followed when I deliberately kept my mouth shut, rather than draw attention to her (ahem) quirks. Admittedly, these occasions of self-imposed muteness did tend to be followed by the car's nearside wheels driving into the ditch/hedge/bouncing off the kerb and an accompanying expletive from the driver's seat. However, I am a great believer in our innate capacity for learning from *our own* mistakes, rather than from having them highlighted by others.
I do seem to remember an occasion when on an icy road, our car rear-ended the car in front, giving me a gash to the forehead from the rear grab-handle. However, there is a possibility that this may be a false memory caused by the bump to the head, which in turn may well have been caused by my leaping up and down at the sheer exhilaration borne of powerlessness. And I hadn't even got my licence when that one happened. Things tend to be much better now though (quaveringly smiles). I do try to avoid the whole sarcastic "You could change up anytime you like now" bit, as I choose to believe that driving styles vary from person to person - I find it's just easier that way (but not on the gearbox and clutch). Recent increases in my blood pressure are doubtless caused by my high salt diet coupled with an increasing fondness for alcohol acquired over recent years.
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You're reading my mind, andy..........you scary tinker, you..............
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