In a similar vein to the thread about silly news items, I got to thinking about two signs seen in the past.
In the early 70's in London on the Underground: "Dogs must be carried on the Underground"
In the mid-late 70's on the counter at the reception desk of Trust-House Fortes hotels: "No smoking rooms available"
What either of the above actually meant is known only to God.
Not a lot to do with motoring except perhaps someone may be inspired to quote more relevant examples.
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Deceptive Bends - on the A-whatever it is near Box Hill, Dorking, Surrey.
It could mean the road looks like it has bends, but doesn't, but I think it means the bends are deceptively sharp.
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Deceptive Bends - on the A-whatever it is near Box Hill Dorking Surrey. It could mean the road looks like it has bends but doesn't but I think it means the bends are deceptively sharp.
It meant to all the testosterone fuelled youth in the area on new fast machinery two or 4 wheels.
"Fill your boots - race track ahead"
Smiles warmly at the memory.
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That road (A24) has been messed up with white cross-hatching and gravel, old shoes etc covering the nearside lane. Now one tends to be stuck behind waddling mimsers there and reduced to their ultra-conservative interpretation of the wholly unnecessary 50 limit (i.e. 40 if you're lucky).
Before the road had been molested and before it was infested with the aforementioned waddlers, the deceptive thing about the bends was that they were faster than they looked. Obviously that wasn't what the notice meant though.
Every so often one came across the aftermath of a biker crash.
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Deceptive Bends - on the A-whatever it is near Box Hill Dorking Surrey. It could mean the road looks like it has bends but doesn't but I think it means the bends are deceptively sharp.
It means the bend after a right-hand bend sign is to the left, and the bend after a left-hand bend is to the right. They put the signs up to deceive the Germans in WW2 - the logic was that if they invaded all their tanks would crash before they could get to Guildford.
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There's a minor independent school near here (Warwickshire) that tends to finish below quite a lot of the state alternatives in performance tables. It has quite a good sports hall, though, which my cricket club used to rent for winter practice.
Next to the drive, in big, red letters, are the words:
SLOW CHILDREN AHEAD
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There is one round here somewhere.
"Temporary road surface" and placed underneath...
"Permanent Sign"
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on the A66, between scotch corner and Darlington, there are dot matrix signs in the centre that say "FOG" when its not foggy.
And they dont state the obvious when it is foggy (they are switched off) :-)
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Well turned onto a motoring theme before this was pitched headlong into the silly thread !
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Maximum Headroom, when it probably means minimum headroom.
"Use right hand lane only to turn right" in the interestingly-named village of Broadmoor, Pembrokeshire.
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I personally like 'Hidden Dip' meself.
Cream cheese and chive is a favourite!
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"No dogs allowed due to previous incident" at the shopping centre on the A49/A556 intersection near Sandiway in Cheshire.
The mind boggles!
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on a slightly different tack, what about those 'Police. Accident here 10th May. Can You Help?' signs.
You're more likely to cause another one trying to read the details!
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"Soft shoulders" to which someone adds "and firm thighs".
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Went into garage to pay for my derv the other day and there was a sign saying 'WET FLOOR' so I did and got arrested.
Ted
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I always smile at the one they put up in the states
"no solicitors"
to which you could add no barristers, no judges, no police etc, although i dont think thats what it means
the average nhs hospital is awash with sign of the dubious kind
motoring link? i like hj's missus in that video boy did she make me laugh
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retgwte
You have just reminded me of the notice currently on display in Stepping Hill NHS hospital Urology Department, it reads:
"The Urology Department supports recycling"
Good eh?
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Just got back from a shopping trip, waiting for the shopper, idly scanning handwritten adverts in post office window, and spotted
" room to rant " .........
motoring link - well i did immediately think of the BackRoom ....... ! :-)
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On the A9 going north out of Perth "Police Unmarked Cars Operating".
As I always ask the missus, much to her annoyance, why are they telling the police that?
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a little while ago on one of the numerous roadworks on the A55 i saw a sign saying ' in case of breakdown wait on hard shoulder for recovery'.......10 yrds further on a sign saying 'no hard shoulder for 2 miles'
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On the approach road to Southport Crematorium:
Red Squirrels Drive Slowly
I'm not surprised, especially if they're clutching their nuts at the same time!
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Grey squirrels drive like maniacs though.
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DANGER CONCEALED ENTRANCE.
Yeah, Where?
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Not ambiguous but across one access road to a nearby factory 'This gate must be kept closed at all times'. Why bother with a gate?
Widening it what's with this 'High Class Butcher', 'Family Butcher' etc. Crazy.
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>>'Family Butcher'
I think this means it is run by a family concern, not that they specialise in rubbing out families.
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DANGER CONCEALED ENTRANCE.
Saw one of those near a hospital entrance, to which someone had added a tail to the "C", it read
"DANGER CONGEALED ENTRANCE"
"Blind Summit" put the fear of god up me the first time I saw it, I couldn't work out what it meant until a couple of hundred yards down the road travelling at 50mph I left the ground, gulp!
Edited by kith on 26/02/2009 at 16:12
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>>..travelling at 50mph I left the ground, gulp!>>
As kids we used to call sharp humps or bridges taken at speed as "Tummy drops".
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>>Red Squirrels Drive Slowly>>
I know exactly the sign you mean...:-)
Ironically, because of my time of life, I go to more more funerals than I would wish, yet my best mate, who is usually with me on such occasions and normally driving, had never noticed this sign.
However, whilst we were recently admiring a red squirrel in the grounds, another attender at the funeral expressed surprise at its appearance so I mentioned the warning sign; my mate then confessed that the sign's existence was news to him...:-)
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Humped Zebra Crossing - why not a Striped Camel ?
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"Dogs Trust Rehoming Centre" on the A11 makes me smile. Good to see our canine friends approve of the establishment.
On a slightly more macabre note "Cats Eyes Removed "
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What about the influence of newspaper on this sort of stuff; eg:
Woman critical after shooting
Magistrates to act on indecent shows
Women smokers have lighter children
Water crisis deepens
Russian tanks used in afghan coup ( that one maybe only appreciated noth of the border )
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The famous Milton Keynes newspaper headline:
Schizophrenic kills himself with two plastic bags.
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One mentioned on the News Quiz last week, seen on hospital premises-'family planning advice-use rear entrance'.
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Meanwhile - back to motoring related signs please.
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There is a road sign somewhere that says something along the lines of "secret nuclear bunker"
Its part of a road direction sign pointing left, I think its down south somewhere but I don't know exactly.
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There is a road sign somewhere that says something along the lines of "secret nuclear bunker"
tinyurl.com/2oo2jn (shortened link to newsimg.bbc.co.uk/)
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>> There is a road sign somewhere that says something along the lines of "secret nuclear bunker"
Kelvedon Hatch, Essex.
I've been there and it's a fascinating place. The story goes the Government could still take it back from the private owner if they needed to during a crisis.
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A couple more:
"Sign not in use" on overhead gantries
"A moment's inattention causes accidents" (on a billboard many years ago)
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Gloriously unpunctuated road sign near Applecross in the west of Scotland:
P
Free
Toilets
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A good spoof one....A sign that just reads 'Do not throw stones at this sign '
Ted
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I passed a billboard in Wolverhampton yesterday which read:
"Visit Shrewsbury! Free parking on Wednesdays: From 2pm until the end of March"
There must be a lot of shops there...
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A minor road near me has signs which state "Changed Priorities Ahead" - if you don't know what they were before the sign was put up how is this thought to be helpful? Standby for loads of head on collisions!
Edited by Armitage Shanks {p} on 28/02/2009 at 08:16
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When officials asked for the Welsh translation of a road sign, they thought the reply was what they needed.
Unfortunately, the e-mail response to Swansea council said in Welsh: "I am not in the office at the moment. Send any work to be translated".
So that was what went up under the English version which barred lorries from a road near a supermarket
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/7702913.stm
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A minor road near me has signs which state "Changed Priorities Ahead" - if you don't know what they were before the sign was put up how is this thought to be helpful? Standby for loads of head on collisions!
But the person you were about to collide with will also have had his priorities changed.
If you each change your priorities every time you negotiate the junction, the likelihood of an accident will depend on the relative number of your previous visits.
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Perhaps not strictly ambiguous, but possibly unique, "Bend Sharpens" added to a nomal bend warning sign.
A virtual pint to anyone who can give the location of this one -
tinyurl.com/dxj8k6
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Make that an actual pint in this National Trust owned pub within a few minutes drive of the sign -
tinyurl.com/b3fuhm
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I would guess:
B4035 heading NW along New street towards Shop lane?
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Tom, it's an A road, which narrows it down a lot since you've obviously located the pub! I've managed to find it on Google Earth so I'll post an aerial view later so we can all decide whether the bend sharpens or not ;-)
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I confess to cheating.
The pub was easy enough to Google and I was hoping to be able to use the 'birds eye' facility on multimap to see the sign. I couldn't, so I took a guess.
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Do I get a second guess?
A44 Fish hill?
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Correct ;-) The sign (you can see its shadow) is in the top left of this aerial view. The road is going uphill from left to right of the picture (two lanes up the hill). I think the bend does tighten up a bit as you go round, presumably one or two have come to grief.
tinyurl.com/bfu9u3
How near Bretforton are you? It's about 65 miles for me!
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Leaving a multi storey car park today. Prior to going down the ramp. sign on wall, "DEAD SLOW". How slow is dead!
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95.35 miles, according to Google.
I won't be claiming my pint. I've given up alcohol (not for Lent, for my liver) for now.
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Baby on board ~ they'd be much more comfortable on a proper seat.
Dogs in Transit ~ every single time I've seen this sign it's never been on a Transit.
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Our local Baker has a sign on the back of his van -
"no pies are left in this van overnight"
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A proper plastic sign "cakes in transit " complete with quotes.
Seen on a Clio.
No idea what action I should take but I can think of a responses.
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Saw a flatbed truck a bit since. On the tailboard 'Bloggs and sons , Paris ,New York and Matlock. (But mostly Matlock )'
In a sunday paper's catalogue of the usual trash..'For estate cars, a wooden folding dog ramp' Well that one won't cost much to feed and should be able to sleep anywhere !
Ted
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