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Well, when is it acceptable? And when is it necessary, whether acceptable or not? Whose driving would you comment on? And who would you allow to comment on yours?
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Perfectly acceptable: when they're driving your car.
Quite acceptable when they're driving you - it's your life in their hands.
On mine - I'm quite happy for anybody to comment on my driving. If they're a passenger in my car, then they are my guest, and I drive the way they want me to. (It has to be said, the only times anybody has commented it is somebody prone to car-sickness, and if I know they are, I'll slow up a bit round the corners.)
And I'm always very happy for people to say "have you seen that cyclist". (Rather than "Oh, I assumed you would have seen what is now a lump of strawberry jam.")
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Certainly- if they are using your car's clutch as a parking brake. ;>)
SWMBO often drives in random gears and does not usually notice any difference between dip and main beam. I do appreciate being driven home after having taken drink but when I occasionally comment, the results can be interesting. So unless it may affect my pocket, or is likely to cause an accident, I try to keep quiet.
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Anybody who does not allow comment on their driving is probably the exact person who needs comments made ?
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What is it about driving which makes this such a big problem for so many people?
I am trying to think of any other example where people are liable to get so angry at well-intentioned suggestions.
When I am out boating I am grateful for remarks like "Have you seen that dinghy?" or "Watch out here, it gets a bit shallow" or "I'd pull over a bit, I don't think it's seen us".
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Depends on the driver's character really (and of course the seriousness of the matter being commented on, or not).
Usually the things I comment on are forms of car abuse - excessive clutch slipping, labouring the engine at low rpm in high gears, kerbing, that sort of thing. After all, these suggestions are in the car owner's interests, so justifiable if delivered in courteous terms. Only on rare occasions do I gently suggest that it's more relaxing to follow other cars at a decent distance than to breathe down their necks, or other safety-related things.
My daughter's Aussie fiance is a good, careful, relaxed driver in the Aussie manner, but tended to tailgate until I urged him not to. Later he caught me doing it, and didn't hesitate to criticise me in my turn. I thought that was funny, and completely justified. He didn't mind the car-abuse criticisms at all. Indeed the car's spirits picked up no end when its engine was encouraged to spin.
Of course there are many drivers who just don't understand anything said to them, so criticism is a waste of breath.
And of course I am often driven by people whose driving is more or less beyond criticism.
Edited by Lud on 18/02/2009 at 15:55
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If you're married to her, never! I try to be tactful, honest - "are you in 6th?" after a mile on a flat, straight road. "Do you need to change down?" as the engine rips itself off the mounts. "Could you use main beam?". Notice how they're all phrased as questions.
I will confess to having asked someone to drop back from the car in front though. After all, it's my life too. And there are some people who, if they offer a lift, I make my excuses.
JH
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In my little mind I am just about the world's best / most perfect driver and probably one of its worst / most put upon passengers.
Others may I suppose, have a different, if possibly misguided, view of those opinions !
I do, however, make every effort to limit my criticism of lesser mortals roadcraft, if I am their passenger, to the odd little involuntary squeak or grunt of fear or disapproval when necessary.........
;-)
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I'll only comment if I think they're about to kill me or someone else. ;-)
As to comments on my own driving... well, after 18 months of having someone point out my faults in the air ("Watch your heading", "Altitude!", "FLARE!", "Oxford 61, you're still with Brize but that was a very nice radio call", "Too early", "Too late", "Did you ID that?" etc. for several more pages...) I'm not sure whether I'd be delighted to hear the criticism or just push them out the door.
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A relative of my wife (alas no longer with us) was a fairly reasonable sort of chap in most respects except when riding in any sort of motor vehicle smaller than a bus.
I had to give him a lift once to a family function of some sort and he objected loudly to my doing 75 mph (indicated) in the inside lane of a deserted dual carriageway.
I came very close to leaving him in the next layby and inviting him to travel the rest of the way on Shanks' pony.
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.....having someone point out my faults in the air ("Watch your heading", "Altitude!", "FLARE!", "Oxford 61, you're still with Brize but that was a very nice radio call", "Too early", "Too late", "Did you ID that?" etc. for several more pages...)
Sounds like your instructor is like mine on my PPL course.
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When you have a driving licence.
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Commenting on other's driving is something I just don't do. On the odd occasions when SWMBO takes me out in her car I just sit thetre , white knuckled, at let her get on with it. She is the one who comments when i drive, which is usual, she is female ,after all, and the mouth is an important weapon. All the critisism aimed at me is because, in her opinion, I am too cautious. She, however, is not a Police class 1 ( cars and bikes) and does not see hidden, and sometimes obvious potential hazards. She'll have a go at me for slowing down approaching a junction where a car is waiting to come out, not having seen the other car on his nearside also waiting to come out and turn left. He, possibly, has not seen me. She has, on occasions, leant across and given a blast on the horn at someone she thinks has transgressed. She doesn't seem to be able to look ahead as far as she should......but she does cook a mean Thai curry !
Ted
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Well when is it acceptable? And when is it necessary whether acceptable or not? Whose driving would you comment on? And who would you allow to comment on yours?
I suspect that a recent nasty experience has prompted this post!
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Ted - I'm in exactly the same position. Colleagues get good old fashioned mickey taking (well, the male variety do!) but my wife, well, the car's is like any other domestic appliance. She breaks 'em, I replace 'em. Criticism? Not in this house.....
Wife explanations:
Gears: eh?
dipped beam: eh?
racing up to hazards: eh????
You get the gist of it, but yes, what a cook.
Edited by Dynamic Dave on 19/02/2009 at 12:55
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1400ted "the mouth is an important weapon" still chucking at that one.
I sometimes comment on Mrs H's driving if I think it will be taken as constructive and if it will help in time. So I don't say much.
No. 1 son is altogether more receptive and enjoys a discussion about hazards and knock-on effects of seemingly innocent situations. It is firmly fixed in son's mind that I helped him with his driving lessons and am therefore a useful citizen. I think I gave much more help to Mrs H 25 years ago but a) that's another story and b) she's forgotten.
Fortunately I am not likely to be ever driver by father-in-law again; categorically one of the worst and most inept drivers that I have ever experienced.
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I can think of a couple of people I have travelled with upon whom comments would have been pointless,their driving was so execrable.I simply make an excuse to avoid getting in a car,or van in one case,with them.
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My G/friend took me out in my Astra the other day,
sat at a junction, handbrake off, car holding on clutch
Me:
"Can you put the handbrake on, and dont ride the clutch"
"Why?";
"Becasue i like the clutch the way it is, and I dont want a new one"
"Well my Seat Ibiza never had clutch problems, and ive not changed my driving style";
"I dont care just put the handbrake on and remove your foot from the clutch"
On the way home from the cinema, i did the driving, going down the A66 at a nice 60mph
SWMBO:
"The limit is 70mph, Captain slow"
"I like to cruise, and this car has strectched its legs enought doing 80-90 on the way here"
Conversation over! ;-)
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What is it with continental cab drivers? The good old Britsh cabbie traditionally crawls along at walking pace in top and goes everywhere very safely and sedately unless you're in London where their skill and anticipation in London traffic conditions is truly amazing.
Yet I have been terrified to the point of screaming like a girl by taxi drivers in the Netherlands and Belgium particularly, who will regularly hit 160 km/h (100 mph) where possible, and who take motorway bends with ESP and traction lights blinking away on the dash, tailgate people to a few centimetres, and barge their way into queues at the last minute, carving up whoever happens to be there. They are absolutely, unbelievably fast and aggressive, and this applies almost without exception in my experience.
That said, I have left Holland wanting an E320CDi on more than one occasion. They are very impressive on a full bore standing start! :-)
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That was my first experience of the E320CDi too, stuck in Amsterdam while the marathon was on having to get to Schiphol.
I remember being very impressed by the turn of speed this oil burner had.
Regarding commenting on other drivers unless they are being a complete idiot, let them get on with it as, in my experience, additional comments just make them worse.
If it really needs comment then leave it until the engine is switched off.
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Good man, Woodster, I like your style. Another aspect of critisism of Erin Dors is the fact that it doesn't end there. A grudge will fester in her mind and will be harboured for some time after the incident resulting in your next meal being a plate of cold shoulder !
Ted
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I used to comment more on SWMBOs driving before I did the IAM stuff. Since I did it, she immediately gets "attitude" with me for being smug, which I don't think I am. (I think it's cos she knows I'm usually right though...).
She comments more on mine since I did it. Seems to have given her a licence to point out every little mistake and error of judgement with "did they teach you that too?" Mind you, I'm not good at taking criticism from her. It has more than once resulted in me pulling over (at next safe place of course!!) and letting her drive the rest of the journey, with me in the back with the music up!!
Ted is right about the cold shoulder too.
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What continues to stagger me (when concerned about nattering, clutch riding, forcing box into first in motion, lack of attention to oil level and tyre pressure) is the apparent lack of interest beyond the ignition key.
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is the apparent lack of interest beyond the ignition key.
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Domestic appliance syndrome?
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It's acceptable when they're doing it from the back seat of your car!
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