Just had to share this. I have just had to walk back from our local newsagents pushing my bike. Not because the bike is faulty but because I simply could not ride it for more than 30 yards at a time between fits of uncontrollable laughter..
My good friend and neighbour has been bending on this week about how he needs to reappraise his lifestyle. He feels that there is rather too much of him these days and that some exercise is urgent. He has also, like many of us, been giving some pause to whether all his car journeys are strictly necessary.
Well, this morning I spied him fetching his son's mountain bike out of the garage as I cycled past on my way to get the Sunday reading matter. "Hang on" says he ( think Brian Blessed levels of volume ) "I'll join you". So we pedal off chatting about how much diesel we are saving on this three quarter mile jaunt alone. The internal chuckling started as early as this because my friend, as previously mentioned, is currently largish and his son's bike is one of those with full suspension, resulting in him performing this sort of quaint up and down bobbing motion as we proceeded on our mission. Finally we reach the vicinity of the paper shop which faces the road we have cycled down forming a T-junction at the bottom of a hill. We, like any normal middle aged men, have by now begun to race a bit. I reach the kerb outside the shop marginally ahead, bunny hop the bike up onto the pavement and stop. Meanwhile, my neighbour attempts the same technique but confuses the suspension, flies over the handlebars and sort of body surfs straight through the open door of the shop and slithers on his ample belly a good ten feet or so down the the tinned goods aisle,roaring obscenities as he goes. He finally came to rest by the baked beans. The bike remains outside with a now rather rearranged front wheel.
;-))))
Edited by Shoespy on 11/05/2008 at 10:12
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Ha Ha - brilliant Shoespy.
I remember a friend who used to always cycle to work - one day as he approached the work, a little girl ran in front of him. He yanked on the brakes, went over the handlebars but managed to do a perfect "leap-frog" and landed on his feet. Just as he was thinking of putting a smug grin on his face, the rear of the bike came up and clattered him on the back of his head!
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Thanks for sharing that Shoespy, good story for a morn. Does your friend know he's now famous?
There's too much of me at this time, and my sons getting married later in the year, and i have a distinct possibility of being the most rotund there.
I do have a bike, but haven't ridden for probably15 years, and as i'm more likely to end up as your friend, i'll have to find another way. I'll have 2 hot cross buns with lashings of butter as i contemplate the solution.....
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It gets better. Just been round to visit the fallen hero and he's milking it for all it's worth. He is currently ensconced on a sun-lounger in the back garden, leg propped up, sporting a rather unnecessarily large bandage on the frankly tiny graze on his knee. Wife is mowing the lawn under his supervision having provided him with hot sweet tea and bacon rolls.
The payoff, however, is that his teenage son, who's bike was damaged, is now in full attack mode in negotiating for a replacement machine. Despite the fact that a new wheel would suffice. Apparently, although the current bike is a Halfords cheapy, the replacement required is going to cost about £400 " because there's no point in buying rubbish is there Dad? "
Puts his fuel saving this morning in perspective eh ?
Heh heh !
Edited by Shoespy on 11/05/2008 at 12:51
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I'll wager a bet that his wife doesn't mow the lawn to the desired standard.
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The sort of thing that looks too staged in movies, so you don't quite believe it.
Very funny shoespy. I am assuming since this person is a friend of yours your mirth might have been more moderate if he had come to any physical harm...
The bacon rolls should help with the weight problem, provided he eats enough of them.
Edited by Lud on 11/05/2008 at 15:54
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