***** This thread is now closed, please CLICK HERE to go to Volume 9 *****
As the thread indicates, anything silly can either be posted here, or gets moved here at the moderators discretion.
Volume 7 is filled up, so it's locked. If you really feel the need to find it, along with any other previous silly threads, then use the Forum Search.
Usual rules apply. Also, anything can get deleted without warning.
PU
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I think some of the car makers could have come up with some interesting names for their vehicles if they were brave enough, e.g.
Austin Tashus
Morris Dancer
Nissan Hut
Mini Skirt
Lada Cupboard
Audi Doodee
AC Deecee
Bristol Stupendous
Cadillac Coldtea
I did think up one for Bentley, but presumed it'd get snipped, so edited myself. There must be a load more!
I accept some responsibility in this becoming silly - so its moved here ! -PU
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Ford Crossing
Renault Zelwigger
(Sorry)
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Vauxhall Viagra..............keeping up with the crowd.
MD
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Ferrari Rosher
Datsun Ovabish
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Aston Villa
Audi Pardner
Connaught Rooms
Dodge Bullets
Holden TheBaby
Honda Pants
Jensen Button
Kia Ora
Kia TheDoor
Lotus Blossom
Morgan Stanley
Maybach Ormaynot
Noble Lord
Opel Fruit
Porsche Spice
Seat Warmer
Vauxhall Bridge
Not sure if I have the right idea though...
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Mrs P has a giggle when she sees a Nissan Almera Tino. Apparently "Tin" is a non rude Welsh word for backside
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Would you have posted it if it had been rude PU? :o}
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>>What about VW XYZ?>>
That made me laugh out loud...:-)
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What\'s for you won\'t pass you by
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Apparently "Tin" is a non rude Welsh word for backside
In fact double-bubble tops a la Zagato or Abarth could be known as tin tops.
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Peugeot/Citroen/Renault Saab Saab (because it keeps breaking down).
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What\'s for you won\'t pass you by
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Citroen Pressé
Ford Elastime
and - classical reference to annoy Micky };---) -
Fiat Lux
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Wartburg Er
FSO What
Dodge E
Yugo Bust
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Ssangyong....
...no that's it.
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Audi Doodat
Caterham College
Datsun Burn
De Tomaso Sauce
Lexus Luther
Mazda Been Love
Pagani Ritual
Suzuki Quattroki
Toyota Pram
TaTa 4Now
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Excellent Primera.
There used to be a mediasphere urban myth, perhaps a true one, that the West Country cider-making Bulmer family gave the head of their advertising agency a new Rolls-Royce as a bung for making them suddenly very rich with this new-fangled TV advertising.
The RR Aaaaar.
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Bulmers are not a West Country cider maker, they come from Hereford. Folk from Ereford dont talk like that, only folk from Zummerzet.
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Oh dear. I feel a flurry of unexplained transfers and deletions coming on.
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Heavens PU. You do move fast. It's come on already.
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I hadn't even read your post - it must have been the virtual telepathy......just checked the timestamp, I was shifting things around as you posted Lud.
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I can think of a very witty one for a Nanjing, and with the moderators approval I will share my mirth.
--
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go on then but the delete button beckons....
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I think the swear filter would beat you to it.
It was funny though.
--
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Best keep it to yourself then - if if fails the taste test of ISIHC it fails it here.
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escort -agency
hillman- climb
wartberg-doctor
fiesta-sleep
skoda-slow
punto-push
bravo-oh,yesso
siecento-ohblessento
marina-othedeameano
transit-ransid
pewgot-pewgot
nissan-lispvan
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Wolseley Aggregate
Mazda Bulb
Triumph Again
Ford Defect
Clk Sec
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How about Mazda bongo friendee, or nissan cedric?
nah that too silly - no one would use those
I have waited for years for a Volvo snip ;-)
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TourVanMan TM < Ex RF >
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Apparantly the Nissan Micra Wave was good for warming up dinner.
Citroen C3 PO?
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>snip ;-)
DOH!
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TourVanMan TM < Ex RF >
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As i started this malarkey i have taken the right to vote on the funniest.
the top 5 for me were: Mazda Beenlove, Pagani Ritual, Porsche Spice, Holden Thebaby and Kia Ora
and........the winner is........Pagani Ritual........ although a close run thing with Kia Ora.
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I've enjoyed all these! The musical world has been good at this sort of thing too:
Faure - Into the Unknown
Bach - Up the Wrong Tree
Delius - Myth
Purcell - Washes Whiter
Bax - To the Wall
Chopin - Bored
Bringing it back to motoring, was Minnie Driver the daughter of Laurie Driver?
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Perhaps the result of an unwise liaison with her Dutch cousin Hertz van Drijver.
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Very good guys!
I do like:
Dodge Bullets
Honda Pants
Porsche Spice
How about:
Fiat Phace
Alfa Garnett
Lancia Boil
TVR Times
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>How about:
>Alfa Garnett
nooooooo
the Alfa Betti is much prettier,
and the special edition Alf Betti Spaghetti is the one sought after,.
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TourVanMan TM < Ex RF >
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Alf Betti Spaghetti
That was a very past(a) car for the home market only.
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Just thinking more about Honda Pants, of course the range would comprise:
XS
S
M
L
XL
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That was a very past(a) car for the home market only.
Only built in Bologna of course
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TourVanMan TM < Ex RF >
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Perhaps the result of an unwise liaison with her Dutch cousin Hertz van Drijver.
I thought it was the famous dutch footballer Hertz van Rental
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TourVanMan TM < Ex RF >
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I've just conducted a scientific test and can confirm that there is no problem with using a 4x4.
I went for a drive in my CRV, and when I got back there was no change in ambient temperature.
I then went for a drive in my Ferrari, and when I got back it felt considerably warmer.
The proof of the pudding................
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Or his German cousin Herr E Layabout.
--
Career: (n) Job, profession.
(v) Downhill, rapidly, out of control.
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Have I missed it, or was there an:
Alfa Levver
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For hen parties where the bride to be is of a certain vintage there is the Stretch Armstrong Siddele.y
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The new MPV with a lofty driving position the ..
Hyundai Thought
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Alfa Romeo Works
Alfa Romeo Doesn't
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Or the 4x4 choice of the canny motorist during the last few days of flooding - the Hyundry Sanda Bag..
*gets coat*
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*gets coat*
*needs it* ....:-)
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Raincoat?
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TourVanMan TM < Ex RF >
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Rain isn't the only unwelcome fluid that can come down on one from a great height TVM...
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Lud, wow, the weather is really bad where you are!
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Found this on another forum... thought you might like it. Or at least, recognise it! ;-)
How many Backroomers does it take to change a bulb?
1 to change the lightbulb, and to post that it has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences at changing light bulbs, and how said lightbulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about all the possible dangers of changing lightbulbs.
6 to argue over whether it is a "lightbulb" or a "light bulb?, and another 6 to condemn those 6 as being stupid.
2 industry pros to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".
16 know it alls who claim they are in industry, and that light bulb is perfectly correct.
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs, and to please take this discussion to a light bulb forum.
11 to defend the posting to this forum, saying that we all use light bulbs ,therefore the post is indeed relevant to this forum.
36 to debate which method of changing lightbulbs is superior, where to buy these bulbs, what brand works best for this technique, and what brands are faulty.
5 people to post pics of their own light bulbs.
15 people to post "I can't see their pink fluffy dice light bulbs".
7 people to post URL's where one can see examples of lightbulbs.
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly, and then post the corrections.
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety, including all headers and signatures, and add "Me Too".
5 posts to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the lightbulb controversy.
4 to say " didn't we go through this a short time ago?"'
13 to say " do a search on lightbulbs before posting a question on lightbulbs.
1 to bring politics into the discussion, by adding that the current minister for transport is not the brightest bulb.
4 more to get into personal attacks over their political views.
1 moderator to lock the light bulb thread.
1 forum lurker to post to the original thread 6 whole months from now ,and start it all over again.
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Technically it's a lamp, not a bulb.
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and you forgot another.
1 Moderator to move it to the silly thread. (when I've found it)
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1 to post a post listing all the posts that refered to lightbulb posts.
1 to say he prefred carbon arc lights
1 to say japanese lightbulbs last longer than french light bulbs
1 to say the lighbulbs on the mondeo TDCi are far better than any other lightbulb
1 to describe in mathematical detail the frequency analysis of the light emitted from a lightbulb.
1 to say his best mate runs a lighbulb shop and say lightbulbs wont pass you by.
1 to insult and wind-up all the light bulb posters.
and 375,000 to complain about foglights.
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TourVanMan TM < Ex RF >
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i resemble these remarks
i dont agree with them
you dont agree with anything
i do
you dont
i think it should be entrusted to a garage
take it to an independant
i would sue somebody
will i get sued for fitting my own?
what about the blown light bulbs human rights?
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1 to post a post listing all the posts that refered to lightbulb posts.
tvm - correction, it should say:
1 to post a post listing all the posts that refered to the same lightbulb joke posts.
eg.
www.honestjohn.co.uk/forum/post/index.htm?t=14647&...f
Wed 23 Jul 03 06:39
How many posters does it take to change a lightbulb?
www.honestjohn.co.uk/forum/post/index.htm?v=e&t=16...4
Sat 25 Oct 03 17:00
Q: How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb?
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Came across this apparently well recorded statement recently, tis suppossedly to have been given in a U.S briefing by Donald Rumsfeld, (defence secretary) in 2002.
It could almost be the perfect "motto" for a forum like his one, where there are many differing views, all of them right of course!
"As we know, there are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.
We also know there are known un-knowns.
That is to say:
We know there are some things we do not know.
But there are also un-known un-knowns, the ones we dont know we dont know"
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Rumsfeld, I heard him say it.
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"1 to say the lighbulbs on the mondeo TDCi are far better than any other lightbulb"
TVM, spot on!
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Yes it has a motoring connection. Its on TV
Posh has moved to the states, goes for her first drive, gets pulled by the powleece, and has to go to the DMV for her new license (spanish one not valid)
See her her pose for the photo on her license, then asking to do it again becuase "my hair is flat" is the funniest thing i have ever seen.
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TourVanMan TM < Ex RF >
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I wonder if she did that funny powting thing with her mouth on her photo ?
Why am I even replying to this ?????????????????????????????????????????
I'm going to bed.
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Are you sure it wasn't Ronni Ancona!
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Much as I appreciate the motoring connection, I'm sorry there is only one thread where this belongs I'm afraid. This is no reflection on the OP - there its gone. There is only one way which this thread was going.......
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Surprise surprise.
Norman Mailer pointed out years ago in The Right Stuff that astronauts and cosmonauts are basically just passengers. They don't drive the machine. And quite honestly if I was in this dog/monkey role, Top Gun reputation, Ph.D in astrophysics and all, I would be very reluctant to be fired into space in one of those things unless I was as ripped as a stoat, as near unconscious as possible. I imagine though that a weightless hangover is no joke, and something you need to be very fit for, as all these people are of course.
The only bit of piloting not done by radio and computer from here below is landing the Space Shuttle. And as my wife points out, they have had time to sober up by then.
Cheers, chaps.
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My thoughts entirely.
But after several pints of Guinness, I'd probably want to spend a penny within five minutes of the launch.
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What\'s for you won\'t pass you by
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Boing ! into Silly thread.
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Ah, thank you PU, forgotten about the silly thread... :o)
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Doesn't fit anywhere else though......I'd need to be drunk to go anywhere near one of those !
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When asked how he felt, didn't an astronaut reply:
'How would you feel sitting on top of twenty thousand lowest tenders?'
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Here's a new game you could try on a long journey - stereotype spotting!
All you have to do is spot as many driving stereotypes as you can.
Here are a few examples....
The "old boy".... Retired gentleman with string back driving gloves, flat cap, usually seen inhabiting a Rover and driving at a constant 40mph (regardless of the posted speed limit).
The "woolly head"....Elderly lady with an abundance of permed hair, barely able to see above the steering wheel, and driving at a constant 15mph, with a complete lack of awareness of any other motorists.
The "boy racer".... Baseball cap back to front, loud music, usually seen inhabiting a modified Corsa or Saxo with no concept of acceptable speed (or musical taste!).
The "Essex girl"..... Peroxide blonde, doing her makeup or on the phone in the fast lane, usually seen in a white Ford escort / capri.
The "trucker"..... Over-weight bloke, wearing a checked shirt, eating Yorkie bars, and either in a large HGV or eating a large "full English" at a greasy "caff".
The "rep".....Stressed looking bloke, jacket hanging in the back of the car. Usually seen four inches from your rear bumper, driving a Vectra / Mondeo, whilst conducting a telephone conference call.
Let me know of any others you see, so I can keep my kids occupied in the car!
--
Colin-E
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Lost tourist - drives hesitantly and slows down at every junction to try to spot the road name before he passes it. Bonus points if there's a grumpy looking spouse in the passenger deat with crossed arms.
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One I've spotted: The 'sterotyper' - often seen on long car journeys looking at fellow motorists with wry smile on face as if making mental notes, often driving an MPV or older weekend-only sporty fun car.
(only teasing Colin-e!)
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You almost got me right woodbines!
You just missed off this....
The "horsey husband"...... Grumpy looking bloke, with three whinging kids in the back of a Land Rover Discovery, towing a horse trailer with two ponies, at 20mph less than the posted speed limit. Often heard saying "why do I do this?".
--
Colin-E
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Are you in there somewhere, Colin?
Clk Sec
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You've queue-jumped me, woodnines!
Clk Sec
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The smart, sophisticated, well dressed, affluent, good looking, highly intelligent, very caring and calm middle aged men driving Audi A4 Avants - well, this one anyway. LOL.
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The astonishgly good looking guy with a gorgeous wife and equally good looking black svelt labrador with a snooty expression on its face, (the dog that is) making decisive progress in a gleaming black SEAT Altea.
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TourVanMan TM < Ex RF >
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The bangernomics driver making using the road swiftly but safely at >40 mpg in the unwashed but well-maintained diesel 405 estate that belies it's 200k mileage.
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The "yummy mummy"
30-something, peroxide blonde hair, fake tan, designer shades, tight jeans, tight T-shirt, fake boobs driving a Range Rover Sport, BMW X5 or Mercedes ML very erratically with two kids in the back, and usually a mobile wedged under her cheek.
These are so common in West London, it's terrifying.
--
04 Grand Scenic 1.9 dCi Dynamique
00 Mondeo 1.8TD LX
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>These are so common in West London, it's terrifying.
And in Marlow, Henley, North Oxford, Gloucestershire etc.
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Offensive expression though. Seems to suggest cannibalism and incest simultaneously...
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The 'Toxic Blonde': This is a sub-species of 'yummy-mummy' (or is it the other way around?) often have all the physical characteristics of the yummy-mummy & usually accompanied by cloned look-alike. Closer inspection(!) reveals though, the kindly intervention of the surgeon's knife & botox gun. Do not approach.
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Druggerius dealerius- young guy under 30yrs with no discernible employment driving rangerover/sport, x5, merc ml in black with blacked out windows and 22"wheels. Extremely common in Bradford, Leeds and surrounding areas. usually dripping in designer labels and jewellery, but living with parents.
Also has younger version- under 25, driving imported subaru impreza.
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Dodgy dealer --- self employed middle aged fat bloke in some wheeler dealer type business (that can never really be tied down to what it is - bit of import export/racketeering...etc) always seen driving slightly dented Vauxhall Omega/Ford Granada/80s Merc (never seen a thin person driving either of those) to give the tax man the idea he is not stashing a fortune from whatever interesting trade he's in and also there's plenty of room to get his belly behind the wheel...
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The NHS manager: smug evil colourless carphound mimsing about in new 7 series BMW supplied by the taxpayer along with wages to make a brain surgeon envious.
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The pained Moderator putting stuff with a flick of the computer mouse in the Silly thread......
Sorry if any posts were lost.....PU
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Do take a look at this. You can freewheel and beat everyone.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWLbu1wIIEo&mode=related&s...=
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Jeez, it took him a long time to stop after falling off ;-)
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that has got to be the greatest fun ever - completely and utterly barking mad of course tho'
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300bhp would be an enjoyable way to get back to the top of the hill!..
;o)
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Sorry to come back on this, but this Jean-Yves Blondeau has shot straight to the top of my list of modern performance artists. There are some other Utube films, not just on Swiss passes but Paris underpasses etc... the guy is amazing, and very original.
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amazing.
Sheer lunacy, but amazing.
But i want to know what happened with the bike he was trying to overtake. Looks like they got a bit close before it cut!
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I did actually mean to add to my previous post - that it is very impressive.
He's a nutcase but a real athlete; in some of the clips the way he drops down onto his arms he must end up black and blue at the end of a day...
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On those Alpine runs he wears the tyres right off some of the rollers... in one of the other films he shows before and after rollers.
He says he likes to amuse people, it's a clownish role but he likes it. Super cool.
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Motoring - a CGI vid on Youtube ? - I feel a move coming on.
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So PU you think it looks CGI at times too. Around town vids of the guy probably real but I don't for a minute think someone went down an alpine pass like that.
Anyway it's not motoring even if real ;-) He'd have to fit and engine and maybe go up the hills for that.
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Thanks - therefore moving it to the repository of "other things" - the silly thread.
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Computer Graphic thingy - quite common on Youtube.
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Hmmm... the quality is certainly bad. But it looks real to me.
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Think Camera angles to start with to follow that pixel guy someone else would have to be doing the same thing with the camera roller blades/skateboard thing.
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