Crap adverts - Thommo
OK the RAC rocket boots advert exists in a universe of its own in terms of crap adverts so is excluded from competition.

But of the current crop I would have to nominate the Dodge Caliber advert as the crappiest. The strap line for me is 'WE HAVE DELIBERATELY MADE AN UGLY CAR'.

Other nominations?
Crap adverts - Altea Ego
I like the dodge adverts, the cars are crap, but the advert is good, "I wet my pants" is a classic line.
Did you see the mooning dog advert before it got banned?

(it was banned BTW not cos the dog was mooning but because it wasnt restrained in the car)
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TourVanMan TM < Ex RF >
Crap adverts - Jonathan {p}
Did you see the mooning dog advert before it got banned?
(it was banned BTW not cos the dog was mooning
but because it wasnt restrained in the car)


There was an advert a few years ago for car insurance, it could have been morethan... Animated chap with a dog, walking along a road, car comes booming past with stereo very loud, owner and dog jumps back and dog makes a deposit on the footpath, not very obvious, but it wasn't banned as far as I know.
Crap adverts - Armitage Shanks {p}
You beat me to it. My pet hate is carp adverts. The singing AA men was the worst, recently. What it told me was that you need 200+ singing loons to get one car fixed in the Highlands! I don't want AA Friend - I want a competent mechanic! Dodge Caliber (spelt wrong for us) being commented on by a panel consisting of My Little Pony and some Muppets! What is that all about? The car looks odd and it is available with a £350 saving off an £11k+ car. See window to the right! I don't expect to see one on the road for months. BTW the only 1007 I have seen to date was a main dealer courtesy car.
Crap adverts - Altea Ego
Have to say the caliber has a really funky sound system (built in woofer, detachable and moveable speaker pod in the rear hatch)
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TourVanMan TM < Ex RF >
Crap adverts - Armitage Shanks {p}
And that makes it worth £11k+? Funky - not a trait I require in my hi-fi! If I want to hear music on a good quality system I listen at home!
Crap adverts - Lud
HJ in his road test seemed to think the removable rear speakers were specially designed to create sound pollution at beauty spots... Does know his chavs, our leader!
Crap adverts - greenhey
Hard to beat the current Citroen adverts generally and especially the C3 "Happy Days" ad.
Presumably somebody got paid for a badly- produced ad based on a show last filmed 20 years ago which says nothing about the product , but at the end implies they are so desperate to sell some they will slash the price.
Crap adverts - Hamsafar
I don't watch as much televisiona s you lot, probably several hours a month.
I agree with the singing AA men, and I hate the Renault Shaking Asses rubbish.

I have seen the dodge one, it is obviously American in concept - it is being judged by 'cute critters' I imagine they'd think that because they don't like it so it must be good if you don't want a cute ride. Puurlease!
Crap adverts - Lud
I hate the
Renault Shaking Asses rubbish.


No taste whatsoever. Philistine.
Crap adverts - Tomo
In our family it is held that that Renault advert is the one honest car advert; they admit they had made a posterior of it!
Crap adverts - Roly93
I think without a doubt the French car manufacturers have the edge when it comes to consistently carp adverts..
Crap adverts - BazzaBear {P}
The worst thing about the singing AA advert is the fact that they miss out a beat between each sung line. I don't know whether this was to save money on the extra second of ad length they'd have needed, but it makes the song scan wrongly, and just grates on my soul every time I hear it.

The Caliber, while looking like a terrible car, is a reasonably amusing advert.
Crap adverts - Sulphur Man
I saw the new Land Rover 'Go Beyond' ad in the cinema last week. Extraordinary. When it starts you think its an Oxfam or Unicef awareness film, with crying women, long lost friends embracing etc. Its only after 20 secs you start to notice the Midlands behemoths strategically parked around or reflecting off glass buildings. The ad aludes to global peace, bridging cultural divides, ending poverty and....drum roll....conservation. 'Go Beyond'....what, 20mpg?

Anyone remeber that legendary Rover ad from the mid 90s. I cant remember which model it was for, perhaps the last revised 800, but it was the english hostage being handed back by a rowdy group of Taleban-esque militia. Caused a barrage of complaints and they pulled it quickly. I wonder if some clever soul has uploaded it somewhere - love to see it again. What was the ad agency thinking?
Crap adverts - Imagos
Those dreadful fat kids adverts for Vauxhall do absolutely nothing to enhance the brands image whatsover IMO, having said that most of Vauxhall advertising campainges for the last 20 year have been a disaster... Griff Rhys Jones (professer in underpants) etc.
Crap adverts - Cheeky
Agree entirely with Imagos. Those two 'old before their time' fat children are very annoying. So overdone too - they're never off the air....
Crap adverts - Adam {P}
The Definitive Crap Advert List:

Shiela's Wheels

Diamond

Confused.com

Quotemehappy (AKA NU)

There's a pattern emerging here. [Rolf] Can you tell what it is yet? [/Rolf]



Crap adverts - Imagos
naff motor insurance ad's?
Crap adverts - Adam {P}
Have this cigar. It's on me.
Crap adverts - bell boy
i think the fat children are brilliant and see most of them every day on my way to work........
sheila"s wheels gave my wife the most expensive quote and the highest excess of all the online companies i recommended,and she has a breadnbutter fiasco.........
Crap adverts - David Horn
Those dreadful fat kids adverts for Vauxhall


^^ What Imagos said. Detest that ad with a vengeance.
Crap adverts - Altea Ego
And me, everytime it comes on it makes me want to rush next door and slap thier children.

(mine is too old to slap)
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TourVanMan TM < Ex RF >
Crap adverts - Adam {P}
Your kids are never too old to slap RF.
Crap adverts - borasport20
Ever say that to your Dad, Adam ?
--
Go on, get out of the car...
www.mikes-walks.co.uk
Crap adverts - Adam {P}
Other way around Mike!
Crap adverts - Robbie
Those dreadful fat kids adverts for Vauxhall do absolutely nothing to
enhance the brands image whatsover IMO,


That advert would prevent me buying a Zafira, if I were in the market for one.
Crap adverts - Pugugly {P}
That advert would prevent me buying a Zafira, if I were in the market for one.


and prevent me having children !
Crap adverts - Dynamic Dave
I must be one of the few people that likes the Zafira adverts with those kids.
Crap adverts - Victorbox
"I must be one of the few people that likes the Zafira adverts with those kids."

The Zafira ad has worked exactly as its producers and Vauxhall intended. Even the Vauxhall haters here remember the product whether they like it or not.
Crap adverts - sierraman
~The Zafira ad has worked exactly as its producers and Vauxhall intended. Even the Vauxhall haters here remember the product whether they like it or not.~

So what?Doesn't mean they're going to buy it.
Crap adverts - psi
I hate car adverts that make up new unimaginative words, Toyota Yaris' "Bigsmall", Nissan Micra's "Spafe" and "Modtro". Toyota's Avensis "Quality speaks for itself" line are a load of turkey too..

Should be more adverts like Honda's "The Power of Dreams" and the "New Accord" advert (shame it's an estate at the end!)
Crap adverts - psi
almost forgot, I despise the "Mr. Mouse" adverts courtesy of eSure. Michael Winner was miles ahead of an unfunny animated mouse with an awful accent...
Crap adverts - El Hacko
but do ANY adverts for cars persuade us (that's people interested in cars, regardless of technical prowess) to go for, or not, a particular brand? I doubt it. Surely, the best/worst form of advert is perceived reputation for, say, reliability and dealer service. Discuss?
Crap adverts - Pugugly {P}
"shake that - piggin'- ass" An Ass is a horse based animal, although passive in nature, no doubt would positivly respond to being shaken. As above generally including that stupid BigSmall advert. At least Hondas have some imagination - that guy with the Magnum moustache, brilliant. Good cars don't need stupd ads.
Crap adverts - horse
maybe not 'us' but we arent the majority..... At the clinic I work at, a female colleauge was showing off her new car (pointing out of the window at meganne). Someone else says 'isnt that the one with that advert "shaking that ass..." and she says 'yeah, yeah - thats why I bought it!' (and for some reason was even more pleased with herself to get this response)
Crap adverts - Hugo {P}
That Clio with the french woman and the british bloke gets my vote. OK once or twice but it had a very short shelf life IMO.

I thought the C4 advert was actually quite good - shame about the Happy Days one though :(

Crap adverts - Nsar
Zoom zoom.

Zoom chuffing zoom - what on earth am I supposed to make of that?
Crap adverts - Lud
People who don't like the 'shake that ass' Megane ad probably can't dance.

That's nearly everyone here, right? OK in the pub but crap at parties?
Crap adverts - Adam {P}
Speak for yourself!
Crap adverts - Thommo
Hear what you saying Hugo but when she bits her lip at the end of the advert and looks all sultry...


NURSE THE SCREENS!
Crap adverts - Lud
I hope I'm not speaking for you Adam. I myself like that ad, witty, pretty and good music. Some get almost apoplectic when they talk about it though.

Are you among them, even at your age?
Crap adverts - Adam {P}
I don't mind the Megane advert at all Lud!
Crap adverts - Zippy123
Nissan put two words together to make a new one - space and safe = spafe......





My son, who was 7 at the time, on seeing my aunts new Micra said - shiny and bright!
Crap adverts - psi
hehehe
Crap adverts - Lud
giggle
Crap adverts - Chris S
Does anyone else find those Philadelphia adverts spooky? Dead people trying to sell you cream cheese - aaargh!
Crap adverts - Armitage Shanks {p}
Well yes but they are Angels not corpses! I don't fancy the cheese much either way!
Crap adverts - L'escargot
One of tne main intentions of adverts is to make you sit up and take notice. From that respect the adverts you're all running down seem to have been successful!
--
L\'escargot.
Crap adverts - Lud
Quite right escargot. Used to be called 'impact'. Even if people hated the thing, it was thought good if they remembered it. Of course 'advertising theory' (LOL) might have moved on a bit since my day, but not much I would guess apart from buzzwords and flimflam...
Crap adverts - Armitage Shanks {p}
Yes but we are appreciating the adverts as adverts, some of us can't tell what is being advertised until the final 5 secs! Some very succesful film directors started in advertising (Tony and Ridley Scott) They had to tell a story with a beginning, a middle and a resolution in 90 seconds - not easy. I remember a brilliant ad from 20 years ago where skaters in slick blue racing suits and smoked visor helmets skated around the frozen lagoon of Venice. Fantastic! But I had to post a query here to find out what was being advertised!
Crap adverts - Lud
It's a very hit-or-miss profession, fashion oriented too, people can succeed like rockets then get overtaken and forgotten, all very feverish. Hardly surprising when you consider the murky and sinister waters of public opinion. One of the things you know from your own experience and certainly from any systematic research on advertising is that impact alone is not enough, as people very often love or hate an ad without being able to remember for the life of them what the actual product is.
Crap adverts - Altea Ego
The vaxhall kids portray a booring dowdy over the hill image.,
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TourVanMan TM < Ex RF >
Crap adverts - Armitage Shanks {p}
Just about right for the Zafira then?
Crap adverts - Pugugly {P}
One of tne main intentions of adverts is to make you sit up and take notice

I thought it was to make us want to buy their nice shiny cars. Basically if car company treats me like a muppet by making ads that are rubbish, I think I can safely assume their cars are also designed for muppets so yes I might sit up and take notice but I won't be buying a Megane for instance.
Crap adverts - Altea Ego
"but I won't be buying a Megane for instance."

Now I would because its a sexy exciting little car. Despite the adverts.

Now a Zafira is esentially an ugly boring car, so it needs good advertising to boost its image.

I bet it will sell the same - adverts or not. but would sell loads more if they sexed up the advertising.
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TourVanMan TM < Ex RF >
Crap adverts - JH
I've just twigged what the Eos ad is about. Obviously too subtle for me. I prefer the "it does what it says on the can" approach. Or BBC.
JH
Crap adverts - cheddar
I like the EOS ad, not sure about the car though.
Crap adverts - Pugugly {P}
Does anyone know anybody who ever bought a car because of the way it was advertised ? I don't.
Crap adverts - carl_a
Does anyone know anybody who ever bought a car because of
the way it was advertised ?
I don't.


Yes everyone I know!

Adverts aren't there just to sell you the product that instant but development of people and cultures over time, I know lots of people that have bought stuff because of advertising; they just don't know that they have. Advertising in a way is highly related to classical conditioning, do a search for Pavlov and John Watson, fascinating stuff ! After all if advertising didn't work, they wouldn't do it.
Crap adverts - bell boy
just seen an advert on the tv for the 4x4 skoda estate what was that all about then?
Crap adverts - Armitage Shanks {p}
The advertising people admit that half their advertising doesn't work and further admit that they don't know which half!
Crap adverts - Dalglish
Those dreadful fat kids adverts for Vauxhall

>>

what do these kids say as the punch line?
i hear it as something like "oh they're tired" but others think it is "overtired" or even "oh, the tyres".

Crap adverts - Armitage Shanks {p}
You can't work out what they are saying as they their fat chubby faces are stuffed with bubble gum, pizza or quarter pounders, or all of the above!
Crap adverts - Pugugly {P}
It's overtired.
Crap adverts - Pugugly {P}
Thise ads amuse me. But the only way you'd see me in a Zafira is lying prostate in the back of black one. Insipid things. Now think hard how many TV ads have you seen for the S Max, and which one would you buy and why. I know my answer (hello Henry !)
Crap adverts - Victorbox
This line of discussion seems now not to be about adverts but how Pugugly obviously loves Fords & hates Vauxhalls and TVM hates Zafiras because he thinks they are ugly and not sexy but drives an even boxier Touran rather than the Renault he really wants.
Crap adverts - Pugugly {P}
I like Signums and my mate's new Astra VXR. I've seen ads for neither and would consider buying both.
Crap adverts - Altea Ego
but drives an even boxier Touran rather than the Renault he really wants.

You are very cruel Victorbox. Please dont go there.
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TourVanMan TM < Ex RF >
Crap adverts - piggy
>>what do those kids say as the punch line?>>

It`s "overtired". An easy way around not being able to decipher the words is to turn on the subtitles!


"All the way up to six if I have to...and maybe faster than you"
Crap adverts - Adam {P}
"Overtired" makes no sense whatsoever. I'd always assumed (because it sounds like, and would make sense) it was "Oh, they're tired".

When I say "Oh they're tired" it sounds exactly like George when he says it.
Crap adverts - Dynamic Dave
"Overtired" makes no sense whatsoever.


But it's correct.

www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Adverts/Question138297.html

(someone [whitey290375] took the trouble of emailing Vauxhall to ask) (no, not the spoof one at the end by MediaMonkey)

Also,

www.autotrader.co.uk/EDITORIAL/car_page_content/32...p

Plus loads more confirmation if you google it.
Crap adverts - Adam {P}
Stupid Vauxhall.
Crap adverts - Dynamic Dave
Stupid Vauxhall.


Still better than "everything we do is driven by you"
Crap adverts - Adam {P}
That's one thing I'll agree with you on. Ford advertising has been pretty dire to date.


Crap adverts - Pugugly {P}
I buy things as a result of natty adverts, I bought my Plasma telly thing 'cos I saw an ad for it and it inspired me to find out more. I've made a mental list of friends none of whom were influenced by ads when buying a car. I watched JC's write up on the VW Phaeton on some TG repeat the other night, now that would make me consider buying one, but certainly if I saw an ad for the same car I just wouldn't beleive it. But JC at his best "sold" that car to me, it was a beautifully crafted article IMHO. Same as CAR pushed me into the BMW fold all them years ago. I've never seen an ad for the R1200GS but my choice was on informed road testing from a respected bike mag.......so who need car ads. Waste of money.

The only mainstream ad that pushed my buttons was the MK2 Astra GTE 16v......classic ad for a car that really wasn;t that good but better than the eqiuvlent Ford.
Crap adverts - J Bonington Jagworth
"who need car ads."

The TV companies! And they're worried about this sort of thing:

video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=4653448813733199771&q=meteor

It's called viral marketing and gets distributed for nothing...

Crap adverts - AngryJonny
Bigsmall. What idiot came up with that and how much did they get paid for it?

The guy in the ad goes on to say that one of the ways in which something small can resemble something big is by its size.

Erm... no. If it's a similar size to something big, then it's big.
Crap adverts - Lud
Quite agree about bigsmall, goodcrap etc AJ, but just to be really annoying can I suggest that a small warship and a large fishing boat could easily be the same size?
Crap adverts - AngryJonny
By all means. But which one is bigsmall?

Similarly, the large distance I want to ram my size 11 boot up that advertising idiot's rear-end, and my relatively short journey home from work, could easily be the same distance.
Crap adverts - Lud
Snigger
Crap adverts - madf
You are all obviously affected by adverts cos of the many replies.

I deliberatley do NOT read adverts in papers/mags etc, switch over to another channel when TV ads come on and use popup blockers on the internet.
And when I want to buy something, I actually do some research and not have a series of wiggling french backsides help me decide to buy a Citroen.
madf
Crap adverts - Lud
Er... a Renault actually. Impact, no recall.... typical advertising.

Still madf, I can only condemn your general taste. Great ad.
Crap adverts - Armitage Shanks {p}
The wiggling backsides are meant to make you buy a Renault, or are you saying they put you off so much they would force you to buy a Citroen?
Crap adverts - Baskerville
By all means. But which one is bigsmall?


Um... the one that's furthest away?
Crap adverts - Scientific Test. - Pugugly {P}
CAR magazine has arrived with a plop. So to test the several theories I have embarked on an experiment

Advert Buy One (based on Ad) Put off by Ad.
1. Advert 1 Audi Q7 - Bland No No
2. Alfa Brera Wow Maybe No Way
3.VW Eos Bland Maybe No
4. Octavia VRS No Maybe No
5. Punto Different Maybe No
6. Smart As above No No
7. Monaro Oh Yes ! Oh Yes ! No !
8. Lexus RX400 Yawn No Guess SO
9. Land Rover Defender OK Yes No

So there we have it. This is focused adverts at petrol heads - not one dumbed down ad amongst them. Top Ads were the Monaro and the Alfa, I would have flicked past the others without a glance. So I gues that Crap Ads actually do make cars sell.........poorest were the Audi and the Lexus.....
Crap adverts - Scientific Test. - oily
What about that ....... CILIT BANG ! advert ....

Chr!st, I've got an almost uncontrollable urge to strangle that bloke.
Crap adverts - Scientific Test. - Altea Ego
Oi - you leave Barry alone.
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TourVanMan TM < Ex RF >
Crap adverts - Scientific Test. - BazzaBear {P}
Oi - you leave Barry alone.
------------------------------
TourVanMan TM < Ex RF >


BANG! and my respect for TVM has gone ;)
Crap adverts - Scientific Test. - PW
Vauxhall seem to have outdone themselves with the new Astra ad. Actually makes me feel a little bit nauseous every time I see it.

Are they really trying to imply that the Astra handles that badly- that will suddenly start spinning on its own axis on straight roads or fly off for no apparent reason?

Total garbage.
Crap adverts - Scientific Test. - stevied
TVM, if you thought Cillit Bang worked well on showers and toilets, then try this for size!

It also works for dancing:

www.funfreepages.com/flash/cillit_bang_remix.php

No motoring link at all. I like my Audi A3. Will that do?
Crap adverts - Scientific Test. - Altea Ego
Oh wow Barry. I knew he was a superstar
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TourVanMan TM < Ex RF >
 

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