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Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - No Do$h
This thread is dedicated to adverts for cars that have been "extensively modified" by their current owners. Naturally eBay is a prime place to spot such beauties, so I shall kick off with Mark's favourite, the X/19

cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=...1

Isn't it hideous?
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - Chicken Madras
Plenty more beauties here!

www.topgear.com/content/fun_stuff/carbage/0/
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - frostbite
Not sure what's worse - the car or his spelling!

Notice he hasn't had the nerve to go out in it.
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - AngryJonny
I think by "haven" he means "having" rather than "haven't". In other words he has enjoyed driving it. Confused me at first though.
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - just a bloke
Argh! Argh!
My eyes! my eyes!
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - AngryJonny
I'm mightily impressed that he managed to spell "X19" correctly on the side of his car.
eBay Bomb... - Mapmaker
Voila, ND! I was going to loook for something just like this for you - but there it is!
eBay vandalism - Mapmaker

Why do car sellers (alone amongst vendors of items) on eBAY INSIST ON USING CAPITAL LETTERS? IT MAKES IT VERY difficult to read.

And then there are those who use [f******** = 10^6] huge fonts so that you only get about three lines per page.

do they think it is big? or clever? or funny? or that it will get them a better price?
eBay vandalism - frostbite
My pet hate is those that start 'For Sale' or 'WOW!'
eBay vandalism - Mapmaker
Why does F O N T S I Z E come out as a swear word???
eBay vandalism - AngryJonny
To stop people putting HTML in their posts, I believe.
eBay vandalism - CM
members.madasafish.com/~dingsdale/

Some beauties here...!!
eBay vandalism - BazzaBear {P}
Why does F O N T S I
Z E come out as a swear word???


Coz if you could type it then you could change your size on here and perpetrate the exact same annoyance.
BTW, the seller also seems to proclaim that BECAUSE he's bought a lotus and can't afford 2 cars he is therefore reluctant to sell this. Eh?
Oh, and I shudder to think what criminal damage he's going to inflict on the Lotus, especially having looked at that idiotic rear wing.
eBay vandalism - No Do$h
Oh, and I shudder to think what criminal damage he's going
to inflict on the Lotus, especially having looked at that idiotic
rear wing.


Something like this?

cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=...1
eBay vandalism - just a bloke
[f******** = 10^6] huge


TBF that would be big....


:o I'll get my coat......
eBay vandalism - CM
Lots more here


www.stupidnorthernmonkey.co.uk/
eBay vandalism - No Do$h
Ah, but we're missing the point here. The cars should ideally be advertised for sale in their "modified" state. It shows a certain lack of judgement to make these changes to an otherwise functional vehicle, but it takes things to a different plane when you then try and fob your abortive attempts at becoming the next Bertone upon the buying public........
eBay vandalism - No Do$h
Ooooh, oooh! Another one!

cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2485...6
eBay vandalism - CM
Starting bid of £50!!!!!!!!!!!

This guy just doesn't want to pay for scrapping it! BTW how much does it cost to scrap a car?
eBay vandalism - No Do$h
This getting easy....

cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2485...0

"No Tyre Kickers" - because he hasn't got a dustpan big enough to clear up the debris afterwards.
eBay vandalism - No Do$h
cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2485...8

Fastest car in the Honda range??? I want some of what he's been drinking.
eBay vandalism - AngryJonny
Sickly
cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=...1

Hopeless
cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=...1

This one is worth it just for the spray-painted air vents
cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=...1

This one appears to be clockwork. I'd hate to see the size of the key
cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=...1
eBay vandalism - patently
"real BMW M3 mirrors off a m3"

I wonder if there is a mirror-less M3 somewhere in his vicinity?

(sorry - should have said "a M3 without mirrors...")
eBay vandalism - patently
"FRONT BUMPER WORTH £150"

I doubt that. Not to a sane buyer, anyway.
eBay vandalism - just a bloke
Ooooh, oooh! Another one!
cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2485...6


I know it's big or clever but....

LEARN TO SPELL!!! If you can't spell the words then don't use big ones. OK?

JaB
eBay vandalism - patently
Ah, ... but if they could spell than that would indicate an education sufficient to allow them to realise the utter hideousness of their creations.

And where would we get our fun?
eBay vandalism - Dynamic Dave
Ooooh, oooh! Another one!
cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2485...6


Did Mick Jagger once own that?
eBay vandalism - Miller
Surely some of these sellers are breaking some law or another - crimes against humanity springs to mind!
eBay vandalism - BazzaBear {P}
Have you noticed that all of these cars have been on there for several days, and not one of them has had a successful bid on it?
eBay vandalism - frostbite
Have you noticed that all of these cars have been on
there for several days, and not one of them has had
a successful bid on it?

>>

Not necessarily significant. A lot of people who want something will wait until 30secs. before the item end before placing their first bid.
eBay vandalism - No Do$h
Well we'd better have another look in a week and see what happens.....
eBay vandalism - Hugo {P}
Well,

That's good family entertainment.

It's rather like watching those dodgy movies on the foreign channels on Sky and adding your own transilation to the dialogue!

Hugo
eBay vandalism - NowWheels
Ooooh, oooh! Another one!
cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2485...6


I expected the blurb on that one to say "owner now hospitalised for prolonged assessment ..."
eBay vandalism - Hugo {P}
So why has he ended the listing early?

Did someone actually BUY that thing?

Must have been for a bet or something!

H
eBay vandalism - spikeyhead {p}
So why has he ended the listing early?
Did someone actually BUY that thing?
Must have been for a bet or something!
H


I suspect it fell apart :)
--
I read often, only post occasionally
eBay vandalism - VTiredeyes
Do wish i could scrape some cash together to buy some of those ermmm things, weld them together, and make some kind of art.
Maybe i could get a lottery grant ?? address for camolot please.
eBay vandalism - No Do$h
If you put a welder near all that plastic you'd need a fire extinguisher.
eBay vandalism - No Do$h
The best one yet. Look what some numpty has done to the back end.

cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=...1
eBay vandalism - No Do$h
Matchbox toy, anyone?

cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=...1
eBay vandalism - patently
Illuminated floormats???!!

Why?




Why?




.
eBay vandalism - BazzaBear {P}
It has to be said, what the 206 cc, with it's rather over-large bottom, really needed was to have a big slab of a rear bodykit added to it.

And ND, anti-BMW humour? On here? Surely not? :D
eBay vandalism - Mapmaker
>>The best one yet. Look what some numpty has done to the back end.
cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=...1


Looks like a BMW to me?

More significantly, he's had it 15 months & hasn't bothered to have it serviced yet.
eBay vandalism - No Do$h
Looks like a BMW to me?
More significantly, he's had it 15 months & hasn't bothered to
have it serviced yet.


Surely they can't come out the factory looking like that ;o)
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - paulb {P}
This thread is dedicated to adverts for cars that have been
"extensively modified" by their current owners. Naturally eBay is a
prime place to spot such beauties, so I shall kick off
with Mark's favourite, the X/19
cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=...1
Isn't it hideous?


Come on chaps, he's from Lancing, which has an unfortunate but sadly fairly deserved reputation locally as being Chav Central. You have to make allowances ;-)

Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - Mapmaker
www.stema.no/stemaauto/frame.htm What a way to treat a W123 estate...
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - patently
Oh dear. Well at least no one will try to steal it.
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - Citroënian {P}
Took me ages to find this and it looks like Ben's website is no more - does anyone know if it is online anywhere?

www.honestjohn.co.uk/forum/post/?f=1&t=5172#

It's the ultimate tricked up AX Btw
--
Lee
MINI adventure in progress
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - Mapmaker
cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=...1
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - No Do$h
Why are these always being sold "for a friend"? Personally I would run a mile if the seller wasn't accepting responsibility.

Not that running would help if they came after you in that thing.
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - BazzaBear {P}
You not tempted to get that instead of the Mitsi ND? Of course, you'd need a crane to get stuff out of the back...
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - Mapmaker
>>for a friend.

Well it's the old 'my friend has a problem, please give me some advice' thing, isn't it. Would you want to admit that it belonged to you?

4k for a 1990 Hilux... even if it's only done 46k (& would 'swap for a digger').

Bazza - that's unfair. I didn't mean it as an eBomb for ND!
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - billy25
i know this thread is for vandalism, but did anyone see the "Alpha" that "cilla"(shudder!!!) was driving on corrie last night?.....somebody had put the front number plate in the normal central position!!! surely that must count??
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - DavidHM
So we know that ND is after a pick up truck and the high bidder on that is currently Alfaman_1... are you sure you're not just being disparaging to talk the price down, ND?
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - Mapmaker
Tee hee hee!!!
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - Dynamic Dave

www.hi-speed.dk/Steves309.html

Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - No Do$h
Eeeek!
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - Mapmaker
I like the chequerplate floor. And you have to give him credit for respraying even the parts you don't see...
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - BazzaBear {P}
And chrome plating the battery :D
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - Dynamic Dave
I must confess to actually knowing the creator of that 309. His other one is a far better creation, IMHO.

Apart from the bumpers, the front grille and side trim, the red paintwork is, believe it or not, the original. Not bad for a 1987 E reg Pug 309, that was up until a couple of years ago, his everyday transport.

www.hi-speed.dk/Steve309.html

Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - No Do$h
Eeeek?
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - patently
Eeeek?


Ooook!
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - BazzaBear {P}
>> Eeeek?
>>
Ooook!

Does anyone else feel like they should be hearing 'Also Sprach Zarathustra' as the sun clears the top of a large monolith?
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - NowWheels
Oi! Don't you go calling No Dosh a large monolith ;-)
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - BazzaBear {P}
I think I was calling him a monkey actually. Sorry ND.

And having seen your plaintive cry in another thread, sorry Mark too, I hereby promise to remain on topic (ie silent) for the rest of the afternoon.
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - No Do$h
Eeeek! Eeeek? and Ooook. All attributable to the Librarian of Unseen University, Ankh-Morpork. Those familiar with the writings of Terry Pratchett will understand. Those not familiar, I recommend you visit your local library. Some of the funniest writing of the last 40 years.

And as this is my thread, all of the above is most definitely "On Topic".

:o(,)
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - patently
Eeeek! Eeeek? and Ooook. All attributable to the
Librarian of Unseen University, Ankh-Morpork.


Except that I look better in a bow tie than he does.
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - just a bloke
Eeeek! Eeeek? and Ooook. All attributable to the
Librarian of Unseen University, Ankh-Morpork. Those familiar with the writings
of Terry Pratchett will understand.



:( it's getting a bit samey now tho' don't you think?

My favourite characters in no particular order...

Rincewind, Librarian, Cohen The barbarian, CMOT Dibbler.


Anyway... at least the bloke who's done the peuguot has made a good job of it.

JaB
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - BazzaBear {P}
Anyway... at least the bloke who's done the peuguot has made
a good job of it.
JaB

This is a good point. While the car (both in it's original and modded form) is not really to my taste, at least the modder has decided on a look, stuck to it, and created something which actually HAS some sort of design ethic.
So many of these things are a mish-mash of designs which don't even start to match up with each other.

Dying to join in the Pratchett conversation, but I made a promise :(
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - No Do$h
AH, CMOT* Dibbler. There's a man(?) born before his time. Imagine the fun he would have had selling cars. Or trying to.

I suspect the motoring equal to one of his infamous pies would have to be the Pluriel. Nobody is entirely sure what it is or what it's for and having been persuaded to part with your cash for one you suffer feelings of queasiness.

Tell you what mate, you can 'ave one for £10k, and I'm cutting me own throat.....

(*Cut My Own Throat Dibbler, entrepeneur and purveyor of pie shaped objects that, for want of a better description, are probably pies)
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - just a bloke
AH, CMOT* Dibbler. There's a man(?) born before his time.
Imagine the fun he would have had selling cars.
Or trying to.
I suspect the motoring equal to one of his infamous pies
would have to be the Pluriel. Nobody is entirely sure
what it is or what it's for and having been persuaded
to part with your cash for one you suffer feelings of
queasiness.

(*Cut My Own Throat Dibbler, entrepeneur and purveyor of pie shaped
objects that, for want of a better description, are probably pies)

He's the Arfur Daley of his time....

an' don' feget his "sos onna stick" ;-)
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - BazzaBear {P}
I suspect the motoring equal to one of his infamous pies
would have to be the Pluriel. Nobody is entirely sure
what it is or what it's for and having been persuaded
to part with your cash for one you suffer feelings of
queasiness.


Surely an even better qualifier for that role would be the Suzuki X-90. I mean, what on earth is it suppsoed to be for?
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - Dynamic Dave
Anyway... at least the bloke who's done the peuguot has made
a good job of it.


Yep, which is why he's had articles published in Max Power on them - not to mention the numerous trophies and other awards he's won for the red Peugeot at various car shows.

Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - BazzaBear {P}
>> Anyway... at least the bloke who's done the peuguot has
made
>> a good job of it.
Yep, which is why he's had articles published in Max Power
on them


Hmm. I wouldn't necessarily take that as proof, I've seen some hideous creations within those pages.
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - patently
Mmmm. And some of the cars are awful, too.
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - MonkeyFunk
cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=...1

nice steering wheel, good for those tight corners!!

Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - No Do$h
nice steering wheel, good for those tight corners!!


What in the name of... !?!?!?!?
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - Mapmaker
De-catted. So illegal then? Or at least MOT failure.

Wiper jets removed. MOT failure?
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - MonkeyFunk
and he wants 5 grand!!!

5 GRAND!!!

Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - No Do$h
As they say on a certain website dedicated to such monstrosities "You >expletive deleted< your car!".

The art of spending a fortune on your car to make it worth less in the eyes of the cash-wielding, car-buying public.

What a Barry.
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - DavidHM
Given that it's an auto and the "thing" on the steering wheel, I'm guessing that he's a disabled driver.

However I can't imagine Motability would be too pleased to get the car back in that condition. £5k is actually not too far off what I'd pay for that car, if I wanted one - and if I placed any value at all on the extras, I would say it was a bit of a bargain. Of course I don't, so it's a shed, but at least it's not a particularly dreadful example of Barrynomics.
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - NowWheels
There was one of those sterering wheel knob things on the tractor * on which I learnt to drive. Never seen one on a car before, let alone a v fast car.


* Real tractor, not one of those Italian wannabe tracors ;-)
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - No Do$h
You're going to get a spanking Ms NoWheels.
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - NowWheels
You're going to get a spanking Ms NoWheels.


for free? ;-)
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - patently
Haven't I had this feeling of deja vu before?
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - No Do$h
for free? ;-)


Uh-oh, we're turning into one of "those" chat rooms.

Still, there's always email!
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - BazzaBear {P}
It says in the blurb that there are 'some small scratches'
Have you seen the front wing?!?
It looks like it's been attacked by a Lion!
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - just a bloke
I think you all be careful what you say..

have you seen the size of the headphones in the boot?

I'd hate to meet the bloke that wears those knowing I'd upset him.

;)
Automotive vandalism Vol 1. - DavidHM
Er... HF, can I have a word?... :-)

www.cruisesouthwest.co.uk/modules/Gallery/albums/a...g
www.cruisesouthwest.co.uk/modules/Gallery/albums/a...g