.... this weeken I had the "pleasure" of driving what must have been the worst drive of my life. It made a Land Rover Mk2 seem like a Rolls Royce.
The vehicle
M reg Lada Niva Cossack (one of the 4x4).
Awful.
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Yes, you are quite right I know 'cos I used to try and sell them!!
The importers knew they were dogs and one could only order the cars one wanted was if one of these sheds on wheels was included!
The only saving grace was that with a very short wheelbase and short front and rear overhangs they could go where better known 4X4s could not.Mind you, just try towing a horsebox or similar with all of 1600cc to propel that lot!
Roger.
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Didn't those things have a wax-wrapped toolkit under the bonnet complete with a stirrup pump?...
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Don't know about the tool kit but by the time I descended from behind the drivers seat i felt like I had been in a tumble drier.
I am sure that they are pretty good off road as they can't weigh too much. The other good thing is that it keeps your concentration on the road otherwise you've bounced into the ditch.
Didn't like the dip on the headlights - took me about 10 minutes to work out that you dip them by pulling down (ie like indicating left).
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Yes - all Ladas had a toolkit as standard.
Our main warranty problems, especially with the Samaras, were the diabolical electrics. The Russians were bartering oil or wheat with fellow Iron Curtain countries for outsourced fuse boxes and starter motors.At one time we had a failure rate of around 50% on fuse boxes! Great for our warranty claim payments but not so great for the customers! It may be slightly exaggerated but we heard that the import centre had a pile of junked starter motors 8 feet high!
The rectification work done at the import centre took on AVERAGE 4 hours per car and our PDI was a three hour job.
BTW if you saw a Lada 1600 or 1200 with a vinyl roof it was there to hide the dents and scratches put there by the Russian sailors running OVER deck cargo cars to cross from Port to Starboard & return!
Roger.
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totally agree it's a pile of .... but take it off road and it's something else and will tow other 4x4s out when they get stuck, a truly amazing vehicle and they sell easily second hand for good money, sought after vehicles in off road circles
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I rememebr years ago my mate's dad had a Russian car called a Moskivitch or something like that.
Only the passnger door opened so you had to crawl across the seats to drive the thing. It was relatively new but you couldn't go far in it because of the choking fumes. In addition you had to avoid a full lock on the steering because of the horrible metal on metal noises it made.
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A Lada estate taxi in Blackburn Lancs. Ripped scruffy seats, cigarette burns, terrible ride and no handles/winders/etc on the rear doors...
Steve.
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A Lada estate taxi in Blackburn Lancs. Ripped scruffy seats, cigarette burns, terrible ride and no handles/winders/etc on the rear doors... Steve.
if i called a taxi and a lada turned up in the condition you state i would not get in it and if it was in an area that has hackney police i would report it . taxi drivers are well payed but they do have high overheads this is an example of a greedy taxi owner , high earnings and keeping the overheads down sensible you might think but no there are standards which include clean. i have been ordered off the road with a prohibition notice because the car was dirty it was winter and wet, no excuse clean it was what i was told
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Based on 3 samples ~ courtesy cars from my local Ford dealer ~ I wouldn't have a Ford Ka if you gave me one. (Except possibly to immediately sell.) I found the driver's seat excruciating, and the 25 mile journey to work was more than enough. And before anyone suggests it, I am not an unusual shape ~ 5'8" and 13 stone.
--
L'escargot by name, but not by nature.
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...that stupid Mercedes bubble car. Rented it at LHR. Felt like a PFD with it and everyone giggling behind their hands.
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My dad had a Lada riva and an austin allaggro, they were dire...
The car i use beats them hands down though, Seat Marbella!
850cc of worthless panda clone, I tried to sell it once with six months tax and mot, 45,000 miles, perfect condition, no rust and running superbly (for a 1950's design engine anyway).
Even £50 got no interest at all so i kept it after putting 11,000 more miles on it i have (shameful to say) got quite attached to little heap. it's motoring at it's most basic and a bit like being a Lada driver (inverted snobbery). So it's the worst butin some ways the best (i'm weird, i know!)
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I seems that some of you really haven't plumbed the depths of what's out there. All this speak of Seat, Merc bubble Cars, Ford Ka, Allegros...... These would all seem luxurious by comparison to the Lada.
I think it was made of jelly and I felt like a jack in the box (one good thing I suppose is that it must be near impossible to get bach ache). I think a Trabant might give the Lada a run for its money but never been in one.
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For a short while, I had a Fiat Citivan.
It had a curious seating position, so high off the road that you felt it would topple over at any time, but not high enough to give you that 4x4 'king of the road' feeling.
Actually, maybe it wasn't the height, maybe it was the ridiculously soft suspension that did it. The brakes would lock up if you so much as thought about them, at any speed, on any surface. It basically gave you the impression at all times that a crash was imminent.
On top of that it was hopelessly slow, and there was something wrong with it which meant that on the motorway sometimes it would just die, and you'd roll to a halt. It then wouldn't start again for 5 mins, then 20 mins later it'd do it again.
This once happened while I was caught in a traffic jam, and people wouldn't let me change lanes, so I came to a halt in the middle lane, and then, of course, the traffic jam dissipated, leaving me sat still in the middle lane with traffic moving akll around me.
I have so many lovely memories of that van.
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Seriously, you really ought to test drive a marbella given the chance. A bit like a minature lada riva but slower, noisier and more embarrasing to be seen in. Though i once got 380 miles from £22 quids worth of petrol by driving behind lorries on a motorway journey.
Also great when you get a good covering of snow on the road and laughing at all the big BMW etc struggling for traction.
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I was desperate for a lift many, many years ago - but not this desperate.
images.google.co.uk/images?q=robin+reliant&ie=UTF-...h
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Seriously, you really ought to test drive a marbella given the chance. A bit like a minature lada riva but slower, noisier and more embarrasing to be seen in. Though i once got 380 miles from £22 quids worth of petrol by driving behind lorries on a motorway journey.
That discounts the Seat from being considered bad as the Lada would not have been able to keep up with lorries!!
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When I lived in central London some years ago, only needed a car on rare occasions so bought a rough old Lada, guaranteed could be parked anywhere and no one would pinch it!
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Escort RS Turbo, the car was actually quite nice, it was me mate driving it that made it the worst, mind you I done 105 motorway miles in a panda, that was scarey.
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The Marbella has it for me. I had one as a loan car once and it was a dog...and my dog wouldn,t get in it either. The brakes were non existent etc etc....
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A Renault 4 that was so rusty you could see the road passing underneath through the holes in the floor.
It also took about 1 minute seconds to get to 60, or least it felt like it!
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Some years ago( quite a lot) I had the great experience of shopping around for my own company car -it was a small company and I just got given a budget .
As it wouldn't be my money and I had always thought about having one, I decided to suss out an Alfa. They made a large saloon (146 or 147?) and I booked a test drive at the dealers in Amersham.
My abiding memeory is that the entire dashboard was so badly installed that I spent the whole test drive in fear of it falling off. I also remember that (a) as a demo presumably the dealer thought this was a good example; and (b) the sales guy never commenetd on it so I guess he was used to it!
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If it was a large saloon it was most likely a 164. Not exactly the pinnacle of Alfa's contribution to motoring history, it has to be said.
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You probably won't want to know this, but you can still buy a new Niva in France - as well as other odd Ladas never seen north of the English Channel. To my amazement, I discovered the Honda dealer in Brive la Gaillarde (south central France) is also a Lada agent and sells new Nivas alongside secondhand CRVs and HRVs!
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Ah another testament to the canine attributes of the mighty marbella.
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There must be something to do with the ration of that Lada gearbox. If I am correct I believe that the Riva and Niva gearboxes are the same. This is because I happened upon a site selling new Riva Boxes, which were also listed as the Niva Box.
Although my own Riva had the acceleration of an aardvark with a wind problem (opposing direction of travel) it was unbelievebly good at towing my 1/2 ton twin axle trailer with 1 ton of sand. In fact it was much better than any other car that towed it, including the Citroen Xantia 2.0l 16v, and the Peugeot 309 SRi (1600cc 205 GTi engine and box).
The only car that it doesn't beat is the Landrover, no surprises there.
Hugo
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Renault Espace.
Wallowy [is that a word?] and there are no footwells, so your feet are somewhere near your shoulders. Oh and spongy seats.
Awful car, van, bus
Kev
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A MARK ONE FORD FIESTA,with no brakes ,dodgy handbrake,no air filter to be seen ,bad bad bad interior,only borrowed it to pick my mum up when i was 19 from the local comic book salesman(roy)he said it was a fine motor where he came from(macc land)he redemmed himself by jamming drums while played guitar ,good bloke ,crap car
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Didnt the genius which is MG-rover phoenix holdings want to continue the old espace and place on it a rover badge?
Im sure if they did , they would have brought out a MG version - nearly as comical as an MG cityrover.
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