I once stopped to help a woman who's car had broken down - she jumped in her car, locked the doors, and screamed at me to go away.
I loped back to my car and, as I sat there combing my face, thought 'never again'.
|
|
Whilst I have every sympathy with woman who find themselves in this situation , I am sometimes left wondering . In a previous life I worked as a breakdown/recovery mechanic for a well known and respected local company . Called out at midnight by a large motoring organisation I went to the carpark of a large restaurant where a waitress was sitting in her non-starting car , alone , in the middle of a well lit area . I parked my modern , well marked ,recovery truck where she could see me ,and got out and approached her car . She just locked herself in and shouted at me to go away . Bear in mind she had called for help in the first place . As she was becoming increasingly distressed I eventually just left her and drove away .I informed her breakdown club of the situation of course but I heard no more . Perhaps she is still there . Goodness knows what she expected to happen after phoning for help , but I was at a loss as to what else I could do .
|
This is a really difficult situation.
In DeeJay's situation, it would seem that the woman acted a little strangely in the circumstances, but the other posts make quite clear not only how difficult it can be for lone female drivers, but also how it has become almost impossible for a man to act as the knight in shining armour without risking having himself accused of something dreadful.
I myself get very nervous if driving alone at night, and/or in lonely places. I've often wondered what I'd do in such a situation if I got flagged down by what seemed to be a police car. I think, to be perfectly honest, I'd probably scarper just in case, and I know what kind of view the constabulary would (rightly)take of that.
It's not just motoring, although I won't digress too much - but, because of the few tainting the image of the majority, it is also now unadvisable for any man to even help a lost or injured child in a park, for example, just in case he might be accused of something more sinister.
Sad times...
Happy Christmas all!
|
The flip side to HF's example is the lone male driver who observs a lone female in a broken down vehicle....think about it.
SWMBO carries a mobile phone at all times and being from a rural background is well equipped with the skills to identify and fix a
fault without reverting to help.
Basic mechanics are an essential for all of us, without being sexist even more so for females who regularly drive alone, useful skills are self defence skills any self respecting tech does evening classes. I would prefer SWMBO to drive home on a rim if she couldn't change a wheel at the roadside so many risks these days.
Me I just phone BMWassist of course !
(Fireball that's another joke btw)
|
Exactly, PU, that does actually clarify my point rather well.
No lone man can risk stopping to assist a lone female driver these days, it's a pity but I think most sane men would not risk the possible complications any more, and quite rightly so.
I agree mobiles are a must also (must get mine working again)and the self-defence tip is great.
As for basic mechanics - yes I am determined to get myself booked into a class on that as soon as I can. Your comment is not at all sexist, just common sense.
I think my AA cover only works when the boss is driving...
HF
|
"it is also now unadvisable for any man to even help a lost or injured child in a park, for example, just in case he might be accused of something more sinister"
Apologies for non-motoring content of this post. I'll keep it short.
My wife & I used to be part-time foster carers. Along with two other families, we looked after a girl with a mild learning disability. One day, she made allegations against the male parent in one of the homes where she sheltered. Result, full police & social services investigation. Two weeks later, an allegation was made against the male parent of second family, with the same consequences. This made me the only male parent figure in her life this hadn't yet happened to. After a long discussion we decided, with tremendous regret, that we could no longer remain involved with this child, and would not risk this type of volunteering again, in case either of us became the target of a spurious allegation. Ignoring the destruction of our personal reputations, the nature of our day jobs meant that both of our livelihoods were at risk.
Several weeks later, the truth emerged that a family member had manipulated her in an attempt to get her back into the family home. For her own protection, this could not happen, so she ended up in a children's home for over a year instead, before (thankfully) finally finding a permanent foster home. None of the three households concerned continues to foster children.
andymc
|
|
|
Please can everyone NOT rely on mobiles.
a) they don't work everywhere (yet) and
b) batteries do go flat, usually when you most need them.
It's a bit like going for a drive in winter without a decent coat, de icer, something to shove under the driven wheels if you get stuck in the snow, and, if you're doing a long drive, a thermos of coffee etc.
Yes, I know you can be overprepared, but look at what happened on the M11 last winter. People, please don't rely on your nice metal overcoat always being there, and always working ; most particularly if you don't have it regularly maintained.....
Tim{P}
|
One simple answer to the battery problem (although it relys on your car battery still having some juice); £5.00 will get you a car charger for your \'phone.
A friend used to have a mobile phone shop and I would help out at weekends. Always used to stress the importance of keeping a car charger in the glovebox in case the owner went to make an emergency call and had insufficient juice left on the phone.
Obviously if you\'ve broken down because your car battery has failed and your phone is flat, don\'t look up..... that vulture poo really stings if it gets in your eyes.
|
You can also get emergency chargers that are powered by "AAA" batteries, and there's even a wind-up one as well. Seriously.
tinyurl.com/2jtmo
I'll shut up now, before this turns into another mobile phone thread.
|
|
|
|
Please can everyone NOT rely on mobiles. a) they don't work everywhere (yet) and b) batteries do go flat, usually when you most need them.
Apologies for continuing the mobile phone subject but it is relevant here.
You can mitigate the effects of (a) by being on more than one network: some have coverage where others don't. Simply buy a pay-as-you-go SIM for each network. A couple of things to watch out for: if you only use a phone (or SIM) for emergencies there's a risk of it being disconnected by the network. Make a call every few months to keep it active. Also, networks have a habit of locking their phones so others' SIMs won't work in them but there are plenty of people who know how to work round this. It's perfectly legal as long as the IMEI (serial) number isn't changed.
|
|
|
|
HF and others - it's partly a generation thing. SWMBO and I grew up at a time (and I suppose at a class level) where these things very rarely happened, and if they did happen, not to us. So although we are aware of all the horror tales, we believe they still won't, and so far they haven't. I'm sure that partly because of this increased awareness, the younger public worries much more about it than we did, and in some cases clearly to excess. Of course when (if) it happens to you or someone you know, your habits probably change.
But I admit I think harder than I used to about stopping to help damsels in distress, or picking up hitch-hikers.
|
Best thing that solitary women drivers can do is get themselves a blow up male rubber doll (fullly dressed) so if broken down on their own it LOOKS like they have a male companion..
(meant in all seriousness)
madf
|
|
Something to occupy the time with whilst waiting for the breakdown truck, I suppose...
|
What a shame our world has come to this. I would stop to help a male motorist but think twice for a female, simply because I would not want to add to her stress by seeing a strange man approaching - even though I know my intentions would be entirely honourable.
But the fact is, people who would do you harm are in such a tiny minority that (applying a little common sense) you really should have no fear - most people would genuinely want to help. The media are to blame for sensationalising any untoward behaviour and giving a wholly biased view of our society. We spend too much time 'protecting' our children from child murderers/paedaphiles when most child abuse is committed by family members; more men are seriously assaulted than women; we drive our kids to school and so increase the risk of them being injured in an RTA.......
|
Adrian,
That is such a good point, and yet, as you say, society decrees that we are frightened to live and conduct our lives in the way that we feel is right, *just in case*.
I'll bring this swiftly back to motoring because I was about to get political there, but you are absolutely right - if I had broken down and saw a male approaching my car, it's so sad but I don't think I'd necessarily be feeling that a helping hand was in sight. Instead I'd more than likely be bolting the doors and windows, *just in case*. Or at the very least, I'd be feeling wary.
You're so right that all this stuff is so much in the minority, and maybe it's true that the media are at fault.
But it's a sad world where genuine people feel they cannot help fellow road users, and where those same road users feel they cannot accept help from a stranger, *just in case*.
HF
|
It's a sad reflection on our times but I agree with the sentiments in this thread. I too wouldn't stop to help a lone woman, unless perhaps I had my wife with me, but maybe not even then.
The one exception is when I'm in the old Morris or Rover P6 and I see another classic car or bike broken down. I'll usually stop and offer tools, help or a lift. So far I've always been welcomed but it is usually a man. Perhaps classic drivers are living in the past?
|
|
|
|
