Our local raceway is closing (shame), I attended the last meeting with my twelve year old and friend (to keep me on my best behaviour). I just thought I would share the last Raceday Report (original e-mailed to a fellow enthusiast, so no, I didn?t create all this text just for HJ.)
>"After 30 years, it is the end, last Sunday was the final raceday. The track is closing due to road building. A full 5 hours of bangers and other sundry offerings (stocks, hot rods, minis). The minis were interesting, the 12 year old noted that the youngest racers were his age. The track was dry so the stocks (1300 RWD Escorts with steel cages) spent most of the races pointing every way bar straight, also a few collisions....which was invigorating.
The hot rods featured the RED CAR that attends every meeting, I think it's a small Datsun/Nissan (Cherry?) with RWD and a 2 litre plus engine. The owner appears to own only one set of tyres....slicks. The 12 year old and I attended the previous meeting (which was wet) and the RED CAR managed a grand total of 1/2 lap (out of 6?), constant wheel spinning. In the dry, all very different, RED CAR travels carefully round corner, being overtaken by Minis, RED CAR points down straight, selects warp drive and, after much wheelspinning, overtakes everyone on the straight (including other competitors lining up for the next corner..oh alright, I exaggerate, everyone on the straight except for the car lining up the next corner). Unfortunately, the RED MIST descended upon the driver of the RED CAR who spun off in every race, but his attempts to make up lost ground were worth the entry fee alone.
And so we turn to the main attraction. Upon arrival at the "Stadium" we were aware of much abuse with the heavy sledgehammer (as opposed the very heavy and extremely heavy sledgehammers), thought we had missed the first banger race, but It became clear that a competitor was merely making some last minute adjustments to bodywork, obviously to improve downforce on the back straight (?). First into the arena....a Cavalier (brave man), followed by a Sierra (stupid man), then a Manta (eh?), all very pristine and shiny in the late summer sunshine, but what's this romping onto the track behind the lucky "small" car racers? Screaming V6s through downpipes, rear ends pointing everywhere but backwards; beware Cavalier, Sierra and Manta drivers, not one, not two but six plus Mk2s (Granadas to the unbelievers) looking for lesser vehicles to crush. More victims enter the ring, including untouched Volvos (always a great favourite with the Granada fraternity), Princesss (how many ssss?), Ford Orions (eek, have these people no fear?) and lurking at the back, not one but two Jags, oh how can these nasty Jag drivers subject a classic car to such an ordeal? Jag One was a white ?Gladiator? car seen at previous meetings, Jag Two was a red/yellow (V12?) with overfuelling problems - judging by the feverish attempts to keep the revs up (always the best way to drive a V12 Jag!).
The final race commenced, a pack of three Mk2s descended upon Jag Two and forced it into the sidebanking after 1/2 a lap. breaking the Jag back axle, end of Jag. Another Mk2 was observed running the length of the back straight as if joined to the boot of the untouched Volvo in front. The corner was reached, Volvo man applied brakes and attempted to turn, Mk2 man maintained full power, the Volvo carried straight on, and very nearly crested the 20' earth banking on the outside of the corner, end of Volvo. The banking was so steep that the Volvo driver could barely stand on the slope after climbing out of the wreckage. At this stage I had problems seeing through the tears of laughter, 12 year old and friend were suitably gobsmacked. The Manta and others continued circulating, the Manta was surprisingly manoeuvrable, until a Mk2 decided to intervene. Jag One was very impressive, the strength to withstand a collision with a Mk2 but the pace to escape the hyena pack. As the field thinned out, the Jag romped away from the pursuing hordes to "take the chequered flag" as the great Murray would say.
To celebrate the end of 30 years of racing, the banger pilots very kindly agreed to race (I use the term loosely) until only one car was left standing. I assumed this would take the usual format, but no; grouped off in opposing pairs the cars circulated in opposite directions to finally meet in front of the "Grandstand" - an old double-decker bus. Mass synchronised ramming commenced, Mk2 vs Mk2, much screaming of V6 and tyre shredding, Jag One gave a very good account until stranded on the tyre wall on the inside of the track, the Jag was then subject to a co-ordinated assault by the rampaging Mk2s. Jagman was seen to invite collision from all quarters to attempt to move his pride and joy off the tyres, the Granadas obliged but the pack was reduced to one mobile Mk2 (Jags are impressively tough!). The Jag was finally lifted manually off the tyre wall by other drivers of lesser machines (don't see that in F1) and trundled to a final conflict with the remaining Mk2. The result? Uncertain, technically the Jag was still mobile but no steering, the Mk2 had steering but very little forwards motion. Physical contact was not possible, but the both drivers finished by revving engines to destruction.....THE END.
The spectators were invited to walk the course after the event, carefully avoiding tripping over various fluids and components.
Next week.........POLO (not really)
HH
M
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