No more gentlemen opening the car door for their female companions. And they don't get out first in the rain with an umbrella to open my door so I don't get wet. Only time I get that is when we visit some swanky place with valet parking, then this guy wants a tip.
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Still happens round my way GRowlette. I think you need to have a serious chat with Growler.
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If you're looking for other examples: putting 'water' in a 'radiator' rather than 'coolant' in a 'reservoir'.
Calling the bit behind the rear passengers a 'parcel shelf': when did someone realise that it was dangerous to place objects there?
While I'm thinking about it, when did it become common to have a plastic cover over the engine?
As for horns: it's still common enough to have them on the steering wheel isn't it?
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The sound of neighbours cursing in the cold, early morn as their knuckles were rapped by the starting handle.
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LOL I had forgotten that! My old man's epithets would turn the air blue, but not before he'd taken the plugs out of his Ford E93A Prefect and put them in the oven to heat up, easy enough with a flathead engine. Invariably the battery wouldn't turn the thing over on a cold morning, so that was how it was done. I got the job of delivering them back in an oven glove.
How he dealt with arriving in the City with rolled umbrella, starched collar, bowler hat and greasy hands after all that I never knew. Maybe they all did it so it was nothing out of the ordinary.
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Sunday mornings with every other car in the street having the regular minor service it needed to keep it running. Hardly ever see a bonnet up now unless there is an AA man poking about underneath.
And hearing people discussing the reason they won't be doing the 60 mile trip to the coast this year because "The car would never make it"
Ah, the good old days. Glad they're gone.
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Holidaying with my parents and brother in Devon - having to get out of my father's Mk1 Ford Escort to lessen the weight and allow it to crawl up hills.
Driving at speed without abs, airbags and seat belts. How did we do it?
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Taking the cylinder head off to give it a quick de-coke with a screwdriver, then polishing the ports and going out for a blast in your (mate's) "souped up" car
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Putting a paraffin lamp under the engine at night to stop it freezing
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changing to "town and country" tyres in the winter to give bit of grip on those rear wheel drive thingss in winter
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Going round all the tyre depots trying to find 20" tyres (cool!) - except they were cross-plies - and your mate had radial ply Pirellis
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Owning (for 3 years) the second Morris 1100 sold in Alberta (in 1962). You may not believe this, but it would start on the battery down to 0°F, and on the plug-in heater down to -20°, which is pretty damn cold. Corners then had to be negotiated very slowly as the steering became incredibly viscous.
Hardly anything failed on that car, but the outside electric fuel pump sooted up from time to time, so I travelled with a spare which I could change anywhere (Washington DC, Rocky Mountains) in about 15 mins. One amusing sideline was showing the transverse engine to the locals wherever we went.
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Blimey !
How old are you lot ?
Next you will talking about Horse drawn carriages ;-)
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Getting the horse re-shoed after a long day, while giving its fetlocks a rub down
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Sorry, Steve G. We didn't mean to frighten you!
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Returning from hols having rented a car for long enough to get used to it - nothing handles as well as rental car - then 1st commute back to the office in the 1600e, no power steering but up to the T junction at the main road and head touches roof as I remembered the brakes are working but NO servo fitted.
Hunting for a gear with three speed gear boxes and some with column change.
Vacuum wipers that went slower when you need them most.
Listing an optional extra - a heater.
Stacking Eight track cassettes
Bolting on fogs light - front and rear
Getting out to clean proper wing mirrors
Reversing quarter lights on a hot day.
Suffering a Ford Cortina Crusader with no dipping mirror or boot light. deleted by the bean counters
BMW that needed the lights switched on to illuminate the boot
Deciding where to position a stick on heated rear window
Remembering to take the emergency windscreen.
Fitting 4 point seat belts for the children or carry cot straps
Changing round headlamps - unless you are a Taxi driver for Cibies H4s - wow what a difference.
Using the spark plug cleaning machine.
Hearing the sound of tin hub caps taking a different roundabout exit from the owners vehicle.
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Double de-clutching. Synchromesh, what's that? My first car, a Moggie whose heater was so poor it used to ice up on the inside as I drove along.
Some years later my friend taking his brand new Toyota Corolla to one of the 'new fangled' car washes which tore it apart!
This is all beginning to sound scary. A bit like a parody of that Monty Python sketch about the 'old days.'You know the one, 'born in a septic tank, used to have to get up half an hour before I went to bed, etc.'
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Floor mounted headlamp dippers (old austons, floor mounted wash/wipe (mercedes) - instead of complicated stalks, one has one limb available (the left leg that could take on a task) esp. for automatics
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Check handbrake on and wiggle gearstick. If column change gearstick will wiggle of it's own accord.
Pull out choke to right extent (takes a while to learn what is "right" to avoid flooding before battery runs down or battery running down before engine starts. No two vehicles respond the same way). Insert key in ignition. Turn to the right. Pull starter button in short bursts (if Mini, fiddle around on floor till starter button located, then press at short intervals).
Hold breath and tense entire body till engine fires, then relax once it does. Do not move off for two minutes to allow engine to warm without stalling. Reward patience and skill by lighting up the first of the day.
In the event above fails to work, get out of car and use starting handle. Newcomers should wear suitable gloves until the callouses of the experienced driver have appeared. On no account wrap thumb around starting handle. Should engine respond by fighting back boisterously, broken digit can result.
If Mini and no starting handle, inveigle neighbour to give push start. If no neighbour in site, use girlfriend, but with discretion. If Ford Prefect, sigh in exasperation and walk to bus stop.
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Going round all the grease nipples with the gun, worrying about the gunge displaced by the new grease. Cleaning up afterwards ("WHY can't you put your old clothes on first?"). Taking out for brake test to make sure no grease had got in the drums.
Timing ignition by turning engine until points released the cigarette paper at the right number of degrees, or fractions of an inch on the piston, before top dead centre. OK on the bike, but ideally a job for two who got on well on the car. Got worse when there was no handle any more and a large spanner on the crankshaft nose was required. Or even jacking up a back wheel and turning it in top gear.
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Taking the head off to do a de-coke every 30k miles. Valves, and springs in egg boxes so they dont get put back in the wrong cylinder. Lapping valves (twist twist twist, lift drop, lift drop, twist twist twist)
Leaving home in essex at 4 am to get to campsite in cornwall by 3 pm the next day (avoid porlock hill - wont make it up) Enough tools and spares in boot to keep 8th army on the move!
Counting the tigers tails flying from aerials!
Creeping along on fumes to get to garage doing triple green shield stamps. ANd much later, a cabinet full of wine glasses from shell.
and how about this one, Taking the mobile handset from its holder on the centre console, taking the briefcase sized phone gubbins from its holder in the boot, plugging handset into briefcase, carry breifcase. (and reverse procedure before you drive off again - dont know why - never worked - no coverage!)
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In let me see, 31 years, a total of 6 country relocations, and 11 house moves, I still have THREE of those Shell smoked glasses.
I'll take my nightly drop of red out of one I think tonight....
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Cars breaking down...
Remember going down to Cornwall with my 'rents with caravan [out the closet now...] and a mk V Cortina, we had to avoid Exeter hill as the car couldn't make it up.
Sigh, what a boring life mine will be, be happy you have things to reminisce about.
Also on Cortinas, Vynal [sorry for spelling], my dad's still in love with them, bit of boot polish, looked great!
Black steel wheels and chrome hub caps [which would always fall off]
My amazement to find that the wooden panelling wasn't infact wood!
Painting the sills in Hammerite
Putting massive steel robs in boot to stop it falling off.
That'll do for now...
Kev
P.S. Growler, why have you capitalised the 'H' in the article in your name?
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Cars breaking down...
On a similar tangent; in preparation for the annual 3 hour drive on the holiday pilgrimage to Bridlington a major service was an absolute requirement. Plus a sigh of relief at end of journey turning into Lime Kiln Lane.
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Floor mounted headlamp dippers (old austons, floor mounted wash/wipe (mercedes) - instead of complicated stalks, one has one limb available (the left leg that could take on a task) esp. for automatics
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Do not try this in the early DS Citroen
or you will be washed and wiped off the windscreen.
The first true power brakes operated by a little button on the floor because all it did was control the high pressure hydraulics.
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Listing an optional extra - a heater.
I had a 1957 Beetle that had no heater and no petrol gauge. You knew you were low on fuel when the engine stopped. There was a floor switch which you could turn to a reserve tank that held enough for about 20 miles. Fantastic car in which I drove well over 300,000 miles.
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