In the vein of Pugugly's my first crash thread might I start a humourous thread about light hearted encounters with old bill?
No rants purr-lease! If it is reduced by the usual (or other) culprits then I request the moderator to zap the entire thread please.
Aged about 12, yes really.
Driving Dad's A40 Somerset on a disused airfield we got a pull from a yellow air sea rescue helicopter helped by a plod biker.
Apparently the airfield (Carnaby) was an emergency landing site.
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AT the age of 9 I helped out on a farm driving tractors .I used to nipe between fields on the then very quiet country lanes around the farm. You could see the local bobby on his push byke across the fields cycleing along the lane then I would pull into a field gate until he passed. One day I did just this but he was wiser than I thought he just said when he saw me waiting one day not to let him catch me one the road ,which is what I was doing.
The cowmans son had afew escapes as well as he used ride an old motorbyke from one side of the farmyard to the other across the country lane, he was so used to little or no traffic and treated the lane as an extention of the farmyard till he just missed pc plod on his byke.
chris
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1992 - On Boxing Day (as it happens) Had spent night at SWMBO's parent's house.Having driven there in thick fog I had lit the front fogs. On the way home however it was a clear day, and I missed the tell tale (concealed by hand and steering wheel). Drove to meet a patrol car which I saw spin around behind me and realisation dawned. Stopped before signalled to do so and had a lecture. Imgine his face, about a month later, when he came up against me in the box.
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On a road I knew well was tailed by a motor-bike cop for about 3 miles, so stuck carefully to the 40mph speed limit. Suddenly cop stopped me and asked what speed I thought I was driving at; we both agreed it was 40.
Trouble was they had lowered the speed limit to 30mph some while previously. Cop seemed amused and let me off with an exhortation to be more observant in the future - there were 30mph signs all over the place.
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Driving along the Kings Road in my Mother\'s Triumph 1300 on a windy, drizzly night right before Christmas pretty late at night. I had been following a car for ages at 29.999mph and being young and foolish was getting rather impetuous.
A gap appeared, the roads weren\'t very busy, and I floored it, as much as you can floor such a car, and went to go past the car in front. At the last minute I realised it was a Panda Car and so braked and hurriedly pulled in behind it.
I followed that car for about another 1000 miles. What made it worse was having to hold up the car behind me. As I had gone to overtake the Panda he had prepared to follow me.
Eventually the Panda turned off. I thrashed away as quickly as possible, boasting to my passenger that a lesser driver wouldn\'t have realised it was a Panda Car in front with enough time to not overtake.
As I passed 40 mph in the 30 limit, it sadly became apparant that the car behind was also a Panda Car.
Doh !!
M.
p.s. I know, I know, but I was young and stupid.
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A Chief Constable of Renfrewshire was quoted in the Glasgow Herald as being opposed to the building of autobahn type roads on the grounds of safety - people would go too fast (i.e. might enjoy themselves, though I left that out in my - published, it was a respectable paper then - reply) ; my mother forecast trouble on the ground that I had made a fool of him, which was a circumstance difficult to avoid, and sure enough a week or so later I was booked by the Glasgow traffic (nicely mounted in the wet in a MK VII Jaguar at everyone's expense, in contrast to my miserable 350 BSA). I engaged the two functionaries in chat and found that sure enough they had been detailed specifically to do me, and indeed a fair number of man and car hours had been expended to that end. The Glasgow police were then quite decent normally, but Renfrew were raving anti-motoring maniacs already, and clearly pressure had been brought to bear.
And indeed, I had no peace for a year or so after, either.
Tomo
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Tale from the other side!
Not my first pull but one of many but I have to share it.
Once followed a car through a 30MPH built up housing estate at speeds of upto 80MPH. Eventually got it stopped, and it took some keeping up with, and out jumps the young driver.
"The maximum permitted speed...... etc etc etc"
"My girlfriend has just started her period!"
"No b***** wonder driving at that speed!" Sorry couldn't resist dropped the professionalism for a second. Granted it was original.
Full Chat
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Back in 1973 I was driving my Ford Anglia (fitted with 1500 GT engine wide wheels, 2000E gearbox, standard brakes and therefore no insurance etc.) home from the pub with 3 drunken and partially clothed friends in the back and myself perhaps
a shade over the limit when I had to stop for a pee. Didn't
realise car following me was a plod - in fact didn't realise anyone was following me. As I got out of car I notice the jam sandwich and with a bit of uncharacteristic quick thinking lift the bonnet of my Anglia and started looking underneath as if something was wrong. Up walks senior and junior plods and asks what the problem is? I try and ignore the rendition of Eskimo Nell from inside the car and the prospect of
losing my licence after failing a breath test and informs the officer that my engine was running a bit hot which was a bit of an understatement. It was just then that I had the most amazing bit of good luck. The senior officer told his more junior
collegue to check my radiator. Without a second thought, the idiot proceeded to take off the radiator cap and spray all 3 of us with scalding water and steam. The 3 drunken friends
in the back of my car mistook the steam for smoke and shot out
of the car like greyhounds from a trap whilst unsuccesfully trying to put their underware back on. The junior police chappy let out an agonised stream of cursing and jumped about waving his scalded hand in the air. Realising the situation was getting a bit out of hand the senior officer siezed the opportunity to take the plod with the burned hand to casualty and leave me to sort my car out myself.
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Since this is about humourous encounters:
Can't remember the exact date, but was probably during the winter of 85-86. Doing a Road Rally with SUMC in Yorkshire (possibly the Beaver Rally, but not sure now). Anyway it was very cold, very foggy, very icey and plenty of snow in varying measures along the 100 odd mile route. About two thirds through the rally, we were taken onto a white (unclassified road - coloured white on OS maps). This white swept around to the right and had a steep camber to the left onto grass which fell away to the left. There was also a short steep incline at the end back onto B road. Well, about halfway along said white we hit ice - the back end came out and thanks to the camber there was no way to recover - we just slid sideways onto the grass about 50 metres off the road. We couldn't get going again because the grass was frozen too. just as Andy was about to climb out and push (we had sacks & rope too if needed) a plod Range Rover appeared from nowhere. Out jumped the PC in the pasenger seat and motioned Andy to stay where he was - uh oh we thought, what's he gonna do us for? Next thing we knew the RR had backed up to our car and plod had attached a tow rope and we were soon bouncing along the field behind him - up onto the B road, release the rope and they both cheered us on!!!
We saw them at the finish venue later and it turned out they'd done the same thing for more than half the cars that went through. Luckily the organisers turned a blind eye to the use of outside assistance on this occasion!!
Now that's what I call positive policing.
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Goring y Sea c. 1962-3, in the days when it was neat to chuck away your front number plate and get a matt black backing with stick on numbers and put it on your bonnet a la Paddy Hopkirk, Pat Carlsson ad other rally drivers.
Only trouble was I had done this but split the plate into two halves YPX gap 908. Not legal. Black Jag 2.4 with single blue light on top hoves into view behind, out gets PC Bland: ah, says he, I know you, you're the lad with the Bonneville who tears down Findon Valley every night with no helmet and your girlfriend on the back. Also PC Vine (who lived in the next street to me) has I believe pointed out the 1951 Chevrolet whose engine you have in bits outside your house is not and has not been taxed for some time. I propose to send a couple of officers to have a word with your Dad.
Indeed he did, indeed they did, I was called to appear in the living room standing to attention and I got a severe tonguelashing from my old man who grounded me with a curfew for a month. Not funny when you're trying to make it with a stunning little bird you've just met......
THe lesson was learned and I was a (fairly) good boy after that.
One can't help thinking that the old days of neighbourhood policing got the job done just as well and with a lot less unpleasantness...
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Nothing very exotic but at the age of perhaps 15 cycling home in the evening with no front light showing on my bike.
Pedalling furiously over the Derwent bridge in my Derbyshire town when suddenly a huge dark figure leaped from behind the wall into the middle of the road and bought me an abrupt halt.
It was Bobby Farquhar (they were always referred to as Bobby in those days) who had made this dramatic arrest.
He gave me a lecture on the perils of my act and warned me how easy it was to begin a lawbreaking way of life.
Took my name and address and was summoned to appear at the local magistrates court.
Fined 10 shillings which was a lot of money and had another telling off.
So little crime in those days that my case appeared in the local newspaper with details of Bobby Farquhar's evidence.
Ten shillings was nearly two weeks of my wages as a grocer's delivery boy pedalling one of those huge Granville's type bikes with a basket on the front. (Although you couldn't pedal them up the hills in my area.) And of course Mr Hunt the grocer had a few words to say on the matter of my conviction.
It was the school Headmaster's turn next to give me a talking to on my conviction and warn me as to my future behaviour.
What an innocent world we lived in at this period and how we all automatically accepted the rule of law and the words of authority, which meant virtually any grown up whether he be a grocer (in my case) or a candlestick maker.
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Why has that old Hovis ad, complete with music, just entered my head and is refusing to get out again?
HF
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Way back in early '60s had a Lambretta scooter with a silencer in the habit of working loose and therefore causing something of a racket. Riding to work one morning, flagged down and booked for making excessive noise. Plod did a check of the bike and found the horn didn't work. So he also booked me for "having no audible warning of approach"!!
Final straw was,this merited a paragraph in the local rag under heading "Accountant's Offences"
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HF, Serves you right.. A few words of sympathy for a poor little lad pushing a b***** great bike up steep hills in all weather with no money in his pocket would have been so much nicer.
alvin
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HF, Serves you right.. A few words of sympathy for a poor little lad pushing a b***** great bike up steep hills in all weather with no money in his pocket would have been so much nicer. alvin
aww, now the ad music is being played by violins ;)
HF
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Dynamic you are amazing!!!
Is there anything you DON'T have some sort of a link for?
New Year's challenge - I must find something that Dynamic knows nothing about!
HF
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HF,
Simple use of a search engine. I went to www.google.co.uk & typed in the following exactly as you see it.
"hovis bread" wav
The words in the inverted commas "hovis bread" force the search engine to look for that exact phrase, the word outside the inverted commas wav is a wildcard.
In basic terms I told the search engine I wanted to specifically search for any sites with hovis bread, and also wanted to search within any results for the word wav (meaning wav music files)
Sorry if you already knew this. Not trying to teach you to suck eggs or anything :o)
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Didn't know it, Dynamic - thanks for the lesson! You know this will take away a little of your mystic and ever-knowing aura for me, though, should I ever try your recommendation?!
Think I prefer it where I say something stupid and you suddenly come up with a link or explanation ;)
HF
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Among many, but was just nipping down to the shops with pillion passenger on my motorcycle.
Police patrol made no mistake in spotting the obvious L plates on the bike.
I nipped into the first car park as quick as possible but was snagged by the sharp-eyed officer.
With impressive confidence, though a bare-faced lie, I said "Yes officer, I know I should have removed the L plates, but it's my girlfriends bike and I just couldn't be bothered".
The impression was spoilt by my passenger saying, "what do you mean girlfriend, we've been married a month!"
I reckon the policeman knew I was in enough bother and kindly didn't check my licence - phew!
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Used to ride the bike (Honda C100 then DMW 197) at the age of 14 on some fields owned by a building company my dad did the accounts for, permission granted etc. The fields where slowly being transformed into a light industrial estate and already had a road system installed. Trouble was I had to go from our house about 200 meters to the main dual carriage way between Liverpool and Southport, cross this and then get onto a farmers field I didn't have permission to use, then cross another public track before getting to the fields we could use. I don't know where they saw me but when I got to the fields I could see a Panda car pulling up, two bobbies got out, one with more silver spaghetti hanging from his uniform than you could look at. Very severe telling off with me nearly in tears and told to take the bike home and push it all the way. Pointed out that I was on private land now and spaghetti man was almost apoplectic, went the colour of a good Claret as I know now and started to shout at the constable that was with him. I decided to start pushing the bike as fast as I could in the opposite direction.
All I can think now is what a grade one pratt.
Bill
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Before I got my first car I took a few youth club kids down from Romford to Southend in a Ford E93A borrowed from one of the church elders.
I had never driven one before, but soon realised that the steering was not 100%, it was stiff and just would not go in a straight line but proceeded in a series of shallow curves.
Meandering back along the A127 dual carriageway at a sensible speed in the dark, I was surprised when the car sedately following me suddenly sprouted blues and twos and indicated for me to pull over.
They obviously thought that I had had a few jars, which would have explained the meandering, but it was soon obvious that I was stone cold sober. I explained that it was a church youth group outing and that it was my first time driving the car.
And got sent on my way.
Praising God that the MOT hadn't been invented.
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This will make you laugh. I am 17 and own an ickle moped.
Anyway, me and a mate decided to go into Oxford Centre and instead of having to go through the entire one way system to get to the moped park we cut through a foot path. Anyway, we arrived no problem. On our return we started the weezy 50cc motors up and wizzed off taking the same route. We got to a junction and my mate chris went over the road to be met by a police car which blocked his way. I then saw blue lights in my mirror and I had a van right behind me.....I then noticed another 3 police cars coming from all directions....T
he copper which stopped chris signalled to me to come over and I sheepishly did. Anyway, it turned out they had planned the entire operation for 3 hours while we were in town as they thought we had nicked the mopeds...and the route we took wasnt mentioned...
Quite hilarious that they had to use 5 police cars and 11 policemen with road blocks to stop 2 35mph mopeds!
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Considering that a the vast majority of 'smash and grabs' and street robberies are committed by offenders who utilise mopeds/and motorcycles to facilitate their escape and the vast number of mopeds that are stolen its hilarious!
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Well although it may seem that these vehicles are used for crime take the following into account:
Abingdon (a large town 6 miles from Oxford with large police station) has only 2 Police vehicles on patrol at one particular time
Taking into account that Oxford centre isnt an awful lot larger I should imagine that the majority of officers on the 'beat' were taken up in this 'mission'.
I do appreciate that the police have to take some incidents seriously however i feel 11 policemen with several vehicles and road blocks is a complete joke! Also, they didnt appologise or anything for stopping us infact, they all looked destinctly annoyed that we were not nicking them!
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I remember driving from Marlow to home, a journey of 25 miles. The previous weekend I had to buy a replacement bulb for a blown rear brakelight and I was whinging at the SWMBO for having to buy two because they came packed in pairs.
Anyway, I'm driving back home from work and sure enough, I see the flashing lights of our boys in blue on the M40.
I thought it was for a bit of speed before the Wycombe hill at J3. So I pull over and one of them gets out and I get ready for some grovelling.
'Excuse me sir but one of your brakelights isn't working.'
My reply wasn't great.
'Not again.'
Oops.
Anyway, he looked less than amused and I remembered the second bulb.
'Hang on, I have a spare.'
I think he was impressed, he went back to his car to get a torch and shone it on the lighting cluster so I could replace it. Even stood there to check I had two working lights.
Not bad in the end.
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To judge by the number of cars with only one brake light, you can probably go down in the Guiness Book of Records as the last person in the UK to be pulled for faulty lights!
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I've been pulled twice. Once when the exhaust fell off my Sierra TD and had been scraping along the road for miles. I couldnt hear it over the radio and knew nothing until two chaps from the Met pulled me over and gave me a fixed penalty notice.
Second was when I passed a lone copper in a patrol car at 30mph in a 30 limit. He followed me a mile down the road (at 30mph) before pulling me over. As I stepped out I realised the rear light had gone again and fixed it with a thump.
"Oh you knew about that then?" he says
"Sorry, thought I'd fixed it yesterday. The fittings get all corroded."
"No problem. This your car is it?"
"Actually, its my mothers." I said, giving the details as I glanced at the silver Sierra Xr4x4 with Cosworth grille and bonnet, blacked out windows and loud stereo that my mother had so graciously insured as hers with me as named driver to save me £500 on insurance (it was a second car)
He didnt even want to see any documents.
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A few years ago a group of us followed the Circuit of Ireland Rally at eastertime. Just outside Dublin we were racing around a town trying to find our hotel. We were fast noisy (and totally in the wrong) and when we heard that the Police were in the area we decided to pull into a housing Estate and sit it out for a while. Suddenly three vans of police arrived and surrounded us. It was all very serious until one young policeman (obviously on work experience with his daddy) blurted out, "Smell the tires sir, he's been doing wheelies!" Now, visions of a 106 doing herbie-style antics are the last thing you need when trying to act seroius, but fortunatley we managed to keep straight faces and were let off with a severe warning!
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No, someone at work got pulled the other night, although he had just turned right at a left turn only junction mind... but the brakelights didn't help...
Blue
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My first pull was in Orpington High St outside KFC. I saw the police pull up and walk in to said KFC, and ask who owned the Cortina. I stuck my hand up and was lead out to view the offence!!
They asked me if I knew why the wanted to question me. I replied "was it because I'd parked on the pavement". No. He took me round the back of the car to show me the zig-zag lines of zebra crossing underneath. I said "oops" he told me to "move it" and walked back to his car.
I walked back into KFC to collect my order, walked out and the policeman was waiting for me. He wanted me to move it straight away, but because I went back for my chicken and chips the result was £40.00 fine and 3 points.
This was in 84 and I was 19 at the time.Still remember it like yesterday though!!!
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Driving home from a party one night after midnight had to pull into the kerb to avoid a drunk wandering down the white line.
The patrol car following me stopped me and breathalised me but i was well within limits. meanwhile drunk in road continued down the white line past us while being breathalised. The police just ignored him and sent me on my way,again i had to pull into the kerb to avoid him, the polce car just dissapeared. The drunk well just might have been in my imagination, but my wife who was with me confirmned i was not dreaming the next morning.
chris
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First and only - so far! The summer of 1967. Me and a friend in my 1961 100E Ford Pop hammering down the A1 from a holiday in the lake district. I overtake a string of wagons (this was when derestricted MEANT derestricted!) and OB shoots past me and gongs me in.
All documentation in order, so just a warning. "Nurse it home sir, your big ends sound like they're about to break out through the side of your block".
"Sorry Officer, I thought it was just tappets".
"Afraid not sir. Drive carefully and it should get you home".
I did and it did. Factory recon engine fitted by (a different) friend cost seventy quid (trade price but that's another story) and a few beers though. Actually held in stock by a local Ford dealer.
Two weeks later a neighbour DID put his big ends through the block on his 100E, so I'll always be grateful to that policeman. And not only for calling a spotty 17 (well, nearly 18) year-old "sir"!
Ah! The golden age of motoring!
Terry
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