***** This thread is now closed, please CLICK HERE to go to Volume 11 *****
As the thread indicates, anything silly can either be posted here, or gets moved here at the moderators discretion.
Volume 9 is filled up, so it's locked. If you really feel the need to find it, along with any other previous silly threads, then use the Forum Search.
Usual rules apply. Also, anything can get deleted without warning.
PU
658948
Edited by Dynamic Dave on 04/05/2009 at 14:18
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More playtime stuff deleted. (albeit at a rather good school though)
Edited by Pugugly {P} on 22/11/2007 at 17:56
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not leaves on the line
not too much snow
its beer beer beer.......news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/cumbria/7122568.stm
bb it can (geddit) only go on way this one
Edited by Pugugly {P} on 01/12/2007 at 16:17
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Tons of tinnies on the road, should take the locals no more than 5 minutes to clear ;0)
-----------------------------------------------
2005 Ford Mondeo Zetec 2.0 TDCi 130ps
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bp1.blogger.com/_NWwy4ENwcGg/R1A352jkvaI/AAAAAAAAA...g
Edited by milkyjoe on 26/12/2007 at 17:25
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What part of north Wales is that sited :-)
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I think the engine on my Audi A6 is flooded it is difficult to start. The windows are opening at random. Can someone help ?
I attach a link with a photo of the problem.
tinyurl.com/28urxx
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Suggest removing the plug/s !
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I blame the garage, they didnt refit the pollen filter properly.
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At least the lights are dipped ...
... getting coat!
Regards
Paul
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I think the engine on my Audi A6 is flooded it is difficult to start.
PU
You - of all people!
Year? Engine size.......
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I agree Screwloose what is he like. However the windows worry me. Check the passenger foot well carpet for water and shine a torch down the RHS ( form the front) of the battery and see if you have water accummalating in the plenum chamber. If yes then use a 2m length of 10mm plastic pipe and syphon the 3 litres of water out of the chamber. You will have to remove the battery and clean out the water drainage bungs as they are blocked up with small leaves. If this is the case then water may have entered you car via the seal arounf the aircon pipes , the base of the pollon filter/fan housinf or the pollon filter itself and run inside onto or under the passenger carpet, under there is the convenience unit ECU which may already be swimming. If it is wet disconnect the battery and do not use. This could cost you £550 plus a new cable harness, not funny. Regards Peter
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Bet thats one of those voice control jobs ?
I said I want it hotter !......not go in the water, ye daft lump 'o................! ;-)
Better do some work now I s'pose !
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Fancy using a chain-sling!! the bodywork will be ruined!
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Fancy using a chain-sling!! the bodywork will be ruined!
Too right. They'll never be able to sell it on e-bay as:- "Mint A6; [some minor electrical faults] one vicar owner..." now!
I wonder what an A6 full of water actually weighs..... That Hi-Ab doesn't look man enough.
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Hi-ab?? is that what that thing in front of it is? - i thought they were going to pull it out with the Sludge-Gulper!!
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Photo courtesy of BBC News website, I was bored right.
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I did not look at the link.
!!!!!!! I thought you were seriuos. Regards Peter
Edited by Webmaster on 07/01/2008 at 19:02
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Peter,
I read your post thinking you'd spotted my tease - brilliant nonetheless.
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I too thought PeterD was responding to the tease ;-)
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Belongs in technical questions :-)
JH
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Well I had thought of putting it there but that's the "serious" room and thought that the other Mods would batter me.
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just had another look at the link, don't think there could be a worse place for that wagon to lose its load!!
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I was in a Morrisons car park late today in the rain and as I returned to my Audi A6 an Audi a few cars before mine opened it's windows as I pressed my remote. At first I thought it was my remote that opened the doors and the windows. Guess what the passenger footwell was at least 1cm deep in water. I waited around for the owner but by the time he arrived the system was well dead and a tow truck was called. On a T plate that could be the end. Regards Peter
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Oh well it was a bit silly.....so boooooooooooot !
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Nice one - the Nova Song "...Here we are in my mum's Nova, it's mine now cos' it's got a spoila, blacked out windows, little blue lights, I got me fogs on even though it's daylight..."
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtmqcGsuf0U
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Fabulous BillyWhizz... I am going to forward the link to my daughter's bf right now...
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Settled in front of telly last night about 7.30pm, watched a couple of programmes whilst waiting for "Match of the Day".
SWAN (she who always nags) was fidgetty and obviously bored! so decided to go and see her friend for a couple of hours - luvly! ;-)
10pm, just as the footy is starting she lands back with a bottle of wine and a "Chinese", (which made up for the fact that shed come back just at the wrong time!), but suprisingly it made the footy better somehow ;-)
Twas then that i realised that it was Sunday! and our Chinese was shut!
On interrogation, it turns out that she was hungry and so was her friend, so they had jumped in the car and gone to Lancaster and back for it!!! a round trip of 104miles!!
So the question is: how many "chineses" do you normally get to the Gallon?
billly
moved over from IHAQ
Edited by Pugugly on 31/03/2008 at 17:34
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Count yourself lucky, O namesake, that this confession of yours/ your wife's has been moved from IHAQ to STV 10, which clearly the least read thread in the BR (seeing as it has taken a full 2 months for a reaction (the ever-decent Lud's) to the gold nugget of silliness that is the Nova Song (see above)). Because just imagine the outpouring of chastizements and misery you would have received for this waste of precious fuel and unnecessary traffic generation if you had posted this out in the open. You have saved yourself from comments like "Cor, what's the carbon footprint on that?" and other unhelpful contributions. Long live the silly thread.
TIC
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From the Retail Gazette:
A brand new state-of-the-art shopping centre has opened in west London. Situated at an erstwhile international crossroads, the centre opened its doors ? and some of its lifts and escalators ? to prospective shoppers in a blaze of publicity. Hundreds of shopkeepers and restaurateurs braced themselves for a massive influx of retail fans eager to experience the architecturally-enhanced designer-laden shopping opportunities that the centre was keen to offer.
The celebrations were cut short, however, by the appearance of a vast flash mob of besuited business travellers and so-called holidaymakers wielding heavily-laden suitcases. Uninterested in availing themselves of architecturally-enhanced shopping experiences, the masses lined-up their baggage trolleys and formed themselves into queues, chanting their mantra: ?Check-it-in, check-it-in?.
Faced with such a lack of spending customers, shop staff left their handbag displays and pyramids of faux tins of cheap imitation Scottish shortbread to go in search of them. Their route was barred, however, by a huge backlog of fluorescent jacket-wearing baggage handlers queueing to get through a single security control point.
Shopping Centre manager Mr I.N. Visibleman said ?I have no comment, as I'm not here?. Chief Sales Director Mr Y.R. Wewaiting said ?I am delighted that so many paying customers have decided to make use of our architecturally-enhanced shopping facility today, and to spend so much time and money with us. It has been such a success that we are considering adding extra benefits for our longest-suffering shoppers, such as beds and planes.?
The shopping centre is thought to be in line for an award ? the Hounslow Market Traders Most Innovative Stall Award, together with a special commendation for its see-through canopy and see-through sales figures. Senior management are looking forward to visiting Buckingham Palace Road job centre with their P45s. Normal service is expected to be achieved some time in 2011.
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This may have already been commented upon, but when I first saw this, my thought was "Now surely that can't be legal?"....
I'll get me coat.
Cheers.
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The Muppet!
Carry out The Muppets Personality Test. tinyurl.com/orj7r
I was judged to be "Animal".
Edited by L'escargot on 06/08/2008 at 17:38
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I am Gonzo. I think this bi of the thread deserves to go to the Silly thread, mainly on entertainment value alone.
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Well, I am not going to be Kermit. He's too midtown Manhattan for me.
Is one of our fair memberettes going to bag Miss Piggy?
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Woo-hoo! I'm Fozzie Bear! That'll do me. Wagga, wagga, wagga!
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I was Beaker, too.
Since I wasn't quite sure of all my answers I went back and changed a few and managed to be Gonzo. Hmmm.
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She can't have any less intelligence than past presidents, can she?
www.theregister.co.uk/2008/08/06/paris_runs/
www.theregister.co.uk/2008/08/06/paris_runs/commen.../
Warning: the video shows a bikini clad blonde. Make sure your spouse/partner knows what you are watching.
Edited by jbif on 06/08/2008 at 20:48
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Miss Piggy.
Should I be surprised?
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I'll put this in here then so you can all laugh at how stupid I am.
Having done my budgeting and ordered a new car I revisited it to find out that somehow I was coming out of the month with not much money for a healthy wine habit... As a result I posted a thread on here asking about cancelling orders... I was a bit worried that although I could still afford the car it'd leave me with not much leeway in the budget should the price of wine rise beyond current levels.
Anyway, on returning home that night I had another look at my budget spreadsheet and noticed something... I'm still paid weekly for some reason and I'd done my budget based on a monthly income... 4 weeks per month, 12 months in a year. Yeah, that's 48 weeks a year.... The 4 weeks I'd 'overlooked' would collectively pretty much pay for the finance on the car. Yeah, I kicked myself a few times.
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When I lived in Liverpool any abandonned car would be stripped and torched.. making it unsafe.. (abandonned defined in Liverpool terms as parked)
Mildly humorous but a bit boring and many of us Liverpudlians are able to spell!
moved over from a not-silly thread
Edited by Pugugly on 15/08/2008 at 19:15
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and very 1980s !
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Indeed. I have a book about "The Comedians", which many will remember as an appalling program on television very many moons ago.
It reprints some of the jokes, including the one about the group of Liverpudlians gathered around a strange object in the road looking very confused. In the end they called the police to identify it, and it turned out to be a tax disc.
Very 1970s in fact.
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That reminds me of the classic.....sorry PU et al
Bloke parks his car on waste land in Liverpool and immediately surrounded by scruffy yoofs who say they will look after his car for a donation... otherwise.....
Driver say no thanks doesn't need protecting as there is a savage dog in car to protect.
Mucky faced lad asks " can it put out fires"?
dvd
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OK - as its Friday....
another old Liverpool favourite-
with apologies to any Scousers .....
The Ferrari F1 Team fired their entire pit-crew yesterday.
The announcement was followed by Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the English Government's "Work For the Dole" scheme and hire unemployed youths from Liverpool.
The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths in Liverpool were able to remove a set of car wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds.
This was thought to be an excellent yet bold move by Ferrari Management, as most races are won & lost in the pits, Ferrari would have an advantage over every team.
However Ferrari expectations were easily exceeded, as during the Crews first practice session; not only were "da boyz from Bootle" able to change the tyres in under 6 seconds but within 12 seconds they had resprayed, rebadged, and had sold the vehicle over to the McLaren Team for four dozen Stella's .
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Right, that's it!! I can't take any more. I'm off for a pint. Might respond when I get back, suitably lubricated.
Actually I quite liked the one about the Ferrari team. It must be a good 10 years since I last heard it!
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why do seagulls fly upside down over liverpewl like?
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"and very 1980s ! "
I used to have a regular drive over the Pennines to a Secure Unit in Liverpool, in the 80`s.
The unit had no paper to copy a review report as allegedly the Council couldn`t afford it. Also if you wanted a cup of coffee you had to bring your own as they only ever had tea bags, due to the cost.
The LA I worked for were paying several hundred pounds a week at the time for a placement there...
We took a pack of paper whenever we went and a flask of coffee.. Unbelievable.
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Two ducks are flying over Belfast.
'Quack! Quack!' says the front duck.
'What's the big rush?' pants the other, 'I'm flayin as quack as I can already.'
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That HAS to be Frank Carson.
:)
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It's the way he tells them...
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I might have come across this one in the backroom, but it's well worth a reprint.
Dad, driving through Liverpool for the first time, mum in the passenger seat, young son in the back.
After a few minor incidents the lad notices that every other driver pokes his middle finger upright whilst looking at his dad. He asks mum why, and she tells him that it's a local custom, meaning "nice to have met you, have a nice day".
Later on Dad notices a police car following him, he mentions it to mum, she looks behind to see the lad sticking his middle finger up at the police car.
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Hello,
I saw something like this ages ago but it has disappered.
I have made another for people to have fun with.
It is spoof, it is not real - Honest!
www.olympicmediagroup.co.uk/vdlc/
Regards,
Simon
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news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7693386.stm
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At least it was just his arm. An active imagination suggests all sorts of horrendous possibilities.
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A trader: 'This is worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net worth and I still have a wife.'
The problem with investment bank balance sheets is that on the left side nothing is right and on the right side nothing is left.
For Geography students: What's the capital of Iceland ? Answer: About Three Pounds Fifty...
What have an Icelandic bank and an Icelandic streaker got in common ? They both have frozen assets.
What's the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon? A pigeon can leave a deposit on a Ferrari
LOL :-)
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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen; it said 'Parking Fine.' That was nice.
JH
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I wonder how many points they will be 'a warden?'
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i once got into very serious trouble just for parking on a yellow line!
problem was it was on a traffic wardens hat, and his head was still inside it!! ;-)
Edited by billy25 on 08/12/2008 at 16:02
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My driving is of such a high standard that the bench endorsed my licence.
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I was driving into a smallish suburb village the other day and I had no where to park, I ended up parking quarter of a mile away! Even in car parks I always go for the furthest away as its far easier, I don#t understand why people spend 10 mimutes trying to squeeze into a tiny space holding everybody up.
A few weeks ago somebody complimented my driving skills, doing 25mph in a 30 in icy conditons, the audi beeped me and then stuck to fingers up at me!. Nice.
I really love Audi drivers they are always so friendly and considerate and they want to make friends with you so much they always try and get close to you as possible.
Edited by Rattle on 08/12/2008 at 16:53
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Coming back from a book launch quite early this evening, in keeping with my new, conservative, BR-influenced, semi-mimsing driving style, I followed a Volvo Estate onto the Edgeware Road flyover on the Marylebone Road instead of flying past it on the way up the flyover and cutting in for my sliproad exit just beyond it. Big mistake. As the outside lane, my natural habitat, swarmed past making any remedial action impossible, the Volvo waddled at a rousing 28mph up the nearside lane all the way over the flyover, which few take at much less than 50: after the Marylebone Road and its lights, free at last! No traffic lights until well beyond White City, and a 60 limit for some of the way! Yippeee!
Stuck behind this utter screamer (he was a man, as I had ample time to see when we reached my sliproad) , I began to compliment his driving in a practised manner and at slightly above conversational volume, causing my long-suffering wife to beg me to stop. I can't blame her of course.
But I mean.
Edited by Lud on 08/12/2008 at 20:35
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No insults about Audi drivers please...they are some of my closest pals, there's usually one about 6ft from my back bumper too. I have noticed over the years that most tailgaters are in dark coloured German cars and 80% of them are Audis. Why is this ?
The closer they get, the more I degenerate into 'mimse' mode. After all if they're going to smack me up the derriere then we might as well have it done in slow motion .
Ted
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I hope you aren't implying that this Volvo fellow was just sulking because I was driving too close ted. Of course slowing down even more for a crap reason like that is appalling behaviour in a place like that and I wouldn't approve if you did it either. But this car was just a real mimser.
And I don't tailgate much by London standards. The Volvo might even have annoyed you actually.
Edited by Lud on 08/12/2008 at 23:33
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No Lud, I would think that having to drive a Volvo would be enough to make him sulk.
Stand by for attack by Volvoliers. (good word that, just made it up)
Ted
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>>..No insults about Audi drivers please.....
At least they are always friendly and want to say Audi....:-)
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maybe she might fancy one from the second advert down?
tinyurl.com/3ltzt8
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This was the email which greeted me this evening on hotmail.
The UNITED NATION DEVELOPMENT PROGRAM, established 1877 by theMulti-Million groups and now supported by the FBI,Economic Community forWest African State(ECOWAS)and the European Union (EU). Based on the randomselection exercise of internet websites and millions of supermarket cashinvoices worldwide, you were selected among the recipients to receive theaward sum of 1,000,000.00 GBP (One Million British pounds starlings) ascharity donations/aid from the UNITED NATION ORGANIZATION ,ECOWAS and EUEUROPIAN UNION in accordance with the enabling act of Parliament, Allbeneficiaries email addresses were selected randomly from over 100,000internet websites around the World.
What kind of vehicle could I buy for a million pounds 'starlings' I wonder?
A Honda 'Blackbird'?
A Reliant 'Robin'perhaps?
A second World War 'DUKW'?
A Suzuki 'Swift' even?
:-)
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Nissan Bluebird!
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The UNITED NATION DEVELOPMENT PROGRAM, established 1877
Spot the deliberate error!
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Program instead of the correct spelling of programme?
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NO! There was no UN in 1877!
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But it says the United Nation :) Not the United Nations :) another mistake perhaps.
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So they can't spell - its not that that make them bad people.
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Program is a correct way in the Colonies.
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Strictly speaking it's still wrong. They just don't know any better.....
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I'd save the money so as to pay next years road tax on my 4X4.
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Leave them alone, they are probably only trying to make their first million so they can afford such luxery as a 1988 Merc 190.
I do remember around late '95 falling to the Mugu scam and telling my parents who knew it was a scam. The joys of a13 year old using the internet....
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You mean it's not real?
But I was counting on that million pounds for this year's council tax.
Aw shucks!
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One million pounds (of) starling is a lot of bird poo.
I suppose you could always set up in the fertiliser business - guano bwa-na.
Then buy a Ford Falcon with the proceeds.
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Since I have been following this site I have learned a great deal. It is quite the most informative place to visit. It has though, had the side effect of causing me to worry about things I previously had never heard of.
For example, apparently I have a DMF on my TDCi which can be NBG. I also have an ECU which could go US. I had known that I had a SWMBO but not that she used to be my GF. Tarrying with family matters I find I have a BIL, an SIL, a FIL and a MIL. I knew I had ABS but am now concerned that I don't have an ESC, or at least I don't think so. I am told my CC might fail but then I don't have a DPF so that at least is not a current concern. I have learned that to LOL is non PC and to RTFM when unsure.
All in all though I do feel enriched or at least until I read a post by NC when I am reminded that I actually know SFA......
;-)
TTFN !
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have you been drinking?
Edited by Webmaster on 30/04/2009 at 01:42
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Is that...um .....Welsh or something ? Or is it another thing one of my cars has or hasn't got which I should now be worried about ?
PITA these abbreviations IMHO
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as long as everything is SNAFU dont worry mate
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as long as everything is SNAFU dont worry mate
I'd worry more if it was FUBAR! :)
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PITA these abbreviations IMHO
They're just a sign of the times. These days a lot of people are just too lazy to spend the extra few minutes (or extra seconds in some cases) required to write things properly. You've only got to look at youngsters' text messages. I just hope they mend their ways when writing job application letters, or technical or legal documents. In answer to the thread title, I sometimes despair of the way things are going with regard to both the written and the spoken word.
Edited by L'escargot on 17/04/2009 at 08:43
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Since I have been following this site I have learned a great deal.... TTFN !
Class!
'LMFAO'
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I`m a mile or two off the M62/M1 junction Lads - so if any of you start sneezing could you pop your aircon on, close your windows or put the cabin air onto recirculation as you go past?
Have you dug out your/ Fathers/ Grandfathers Second World war gas mask yet?
I used to have one - just the job for sitting on the sofa watching the BBC News.
I mean, overkill (whoops) or not? I just cleaned the engine bay and now the fossil record beckons again with a bony finger....
Dang, better get on reading those history books too before it`s too late
Edited by oilrag on 30/04/2009 at 11:57
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Keep *WELL AWAY* from Bacon sarnies & Mexican waves!
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We are having barbecue spare ribs, fahitas and tequila tonight in an attempt to show support and solidarity....
I'll go in the car to fetch them if deference to the missing motoring link.
;-)
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If you come out in rashers, be worried.
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im going to have a complete train carriage to myself tomorrow as im going to take a large case saying just back from mexico on it
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>We are having barbecue spare ribs, fahitas and tequila tonight in an attempt to show support and solidarity....<
Don't forget your N95's and ya Mark 8 goggles!
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Despite its name, the swine flu virus H1N1 has not been identified in pigs and expert advice states there is currently no threat to human health from eating pigmeat.
The virus is being called ?swine flu? because it is similar to that found in pig herds but tests have shown it is in fact a combination of swine flu, human flu and bird flu ? its proper name being Novel Human Flu Virus.
The World Organisation for Animal Health (OIE) said it was ?not justified? to call it swine flu as it was not currently an animal health issue.
Robert Madelin, director general for Health and Consumer Protection in the European Commission, confirmed the virus had ?nothing to do with the food chain.?
Speaking at a press conference in Brussels, he said: ?Not only is this not a pig virus, but it is not affecting pigs, there is no human to pig transition. Pigs are not carriers. Neither pigs, nor porcine embryos, nor pigmeat.?
I think it should be called travel flu cos if you stay at home you will not likely get it
now about that sombrerro on ebay,should I or shouldn`t I ,bet it would speed up the doctors waiting room
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Apparently if you bind a pair of Y fronts or silk knickers tightly around your pollen filter you have a better chance when driving into the City.
(Not as daft as it sounds - remember those government booklets in the 70`s telling you how to make a nuclear fallout shelter from an internal plywood house door?)
Of course, birds are flying overhead carrying peanuts from bird tables so some `risk` there.
How long befrore mr Snow is wheeled on with a graph?
Motor now, while you can....
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>We are having barbecue spare ribs .......in an attempt to show support and solidarity....<
It is needed for the pigs too if this contiues
english.aljazeera.net/news/middleeast/2009/04/2009...l
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I rang the NHS Swine Flu hotline today. It must have been a bad line, because I just got a load of crackling.
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Thread theme (belatedly)
Humour with a poke at Television news hyperbole...
Flu, Swine , + always Car & Motoring related please ;-)
Or likely my thread will go down the (skid) pan...
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If Swine Flu+Avian Flu combine = Flying Pig Flue
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Never mind pig flu. It's the global schweinhund flu pandemic we need to worry about.
But enough of politics...
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Too late ... My thread has been put in the Silly Bin....
(I`m abandoning it ;-)
Maybe........
Edited by oilrag on 30/04/2009 at 14:16
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