Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing my mind, I swear we just went through a red light."
After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red again, and again they went right through. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red, but was really concerned that she was mistaken.
She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through. She turned to woman driving and said, "Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, am I driving?"
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LOL A certain Mildred -- Mildred Chan -- was my secretary in my Hong Kong days and was a fearsome lady who would never have failed so consummately. She used to terrify me and I was her boss. She put up with the gwei-lo's but secretly held us all in contempt.
Rails buckling. Italian coffee shops running out of cold drinks. People falling over from heat exhaustion. This sounds like imminent Armageddon, the global eco-warming loonies are dancing around in their beards and open-toed sandals writing letters to the Grauniad saying I told you so then you find out the temp is a mere 35 C. Jesus, that's a mere middle of the night number in a Philippines April.
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" and don't even mention the Courts and lawyers."
Ah that prevents a mention to Light Bulb Claim Direct then.
where you can sue for the bulb having 5% shorter life than expected with all the consequent costs for rehabilitation with back pain due to having to fetch the steps from the shed, psychological counselling due to the unexpected darkness, loss of amenity, whiplash due to falling off stepladder....bla bla bla
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LOL, look forward to California and Arnie as the Gubernator.
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FIF: got to add this. By total coincidence I just changed a bulb.
Your detailed instructions were helpful, but omitted to point out that doing so with a damp hand resulting from the condensation of a very cold bottle of San Miguel was not a good thing to do.
I have as a result just received the full force of 230v 50 khz from the combined resources of the Manila Light Rail and Electric Company.
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nee naw nee naw nee naw nee naw..............
[sirens from the teams of emergency lawyers heading towards Growler / Manila Light Rail and Electric Co / San Miguel Brewery. Blue $ signs flashing on the roof.
Going to sign off, big thunderstorm here and wouldn't like a spike up the line, or anywhere else come to think of it.
Don't think even Claims Direct managed to sue God.
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Ah ! unless it was light bulb, made in the UK and imported from cyprus whereby there is no warranty at all and is badged "Eunos" instead of "Mazda" and consequently worthless on the UK market with no hope of recourse. But in the darkness and the chaos a smartly dressed man comes along and says - 'You "fell" out of the socket fill this form in and we'll sue the pants off everyone in the BR.'
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Thanks Pug for providing that coffee meets monitor moment!
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It's my birthday today and as my friend the good Doctor Yumul keeps telling me I'm far older than I have a right to be.
What follows is a Filipino custom on one's birthday, a bit self-indulgent so do click on by if you prefer --I'd like to greet all the Back-Roomers who by turns entertain, annoy and inform me, and thank them for their usually learned, oftentimes passionate, frequently witty and occasionally exasperated/ing postings. It would be invidious to single out anyone by name but you all know who you are. I'm even more warmly disposed to Mark than usual. But don't get any ideas, this is just today, right? (TIC) DD, well you've always been nice to me anyway. As for Stephen it's a tough job but someone has to do it. We need you even if we don't always say so. Trust me.
If I have annoyed irritated or elevated anyone's blood pressure with my own rantings over the last couple of years I humbly apologise. This is the only day of the year I will humbly do anything so make the most of it.
I also thank those posters who have been kind enough to email me on numerous topics so that we can start our own individual discussions stimulated by the introductions to each other that occurred via this Board. I feel I have made new and intersting friends this way and I owe that to the BR.
I can't put one behind the bar for all of you from so far away, Would that I could.
Bafta should be here soon in the Republic (typhoons and coup attempts permitting) and perhaps we can redress that in some small way by proxy like a shareholders' meeting in a offshore company.. We'll try and post some pics, meanwhile enjoy that get together DanJ has so nobly organized.
In particular I would like to thank HJ: we all owe him a debt of gratitude for being the catalyst of what we are all now privileged to share, and get so much out of. It's no accident my Home Page is set to www.honestjohn.co.uk. I hope one day HJ you'll find a day or two to fit us in on one of your Thai odysseys, I can promise it would be memorable and we're almost next door to Koh Samui after all..... Thank you also for the occasional witty e-mails you send me. How you gather and maintain so much up to date info on everything motoring is astounding: I have lost count of the many times I have referenced the site to friends, relatives and people who need straight down the middle unbiased info on what to buy with their hard earned pennies, or help with what their mechanical problem is and where to go to get a good deal, with no marketing or partisan BS. Indeed just recently my sister in Lancing who needed a new car and was totally confused by the welter of info she got, bought a new Fiesta after perusing the site and the info from HJ's comments and the many posters' experiences and is delighted with the car she got, the service and the price she paid for it.
Okay some frivolity is in order. There is a sizeable extended family some of whom I may or may not be responsible for genetically but they seem to be mostly young and female. Anyway they all showed up for a birthday session round the pool at lunch-time yesterday. It may have owed more to the prospect of free Domino's Pizza and Pepsi than my patrician good looks, or maybe it was my Harley (I gave 'em all a ride on the back....of the bike) but anyway they made it.
Growlette greets you too. I chucked in a picture of my daughter Alexandra who is out here from Kent at the moment and complaining that the Philippines is not as hot as the UK and the sun isn't shining. I'll see if we can organise another military coup attempt to keep her entertained.
tinyurl.com/hnkp
Well it's hell in the tropics as they say.
My head feels like **** and my eyes look like 2 fried eggs in a bucket of blood. I must check my San Miguel Brewery shares, they should have gained a notch or two.....
Life is good.
One last thing: everyone drive safe please, that means you. And bikers just remember always that the rubber goes on the road and the shiny side stays on top.
Big G.
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Hey, many happy returns of the day Growler. Here's to many more of the same, so we can all continue enjoying your posts from a far-flung land. Considering the auspicious occasion, I'll drink some of our local fire-water (distilled spud-skins, actually - 200% proof!) to your health.
Hah, I was on the San Miguel too till some time after 4am on Saturday night/Sunday morning, with some Latin American friends. Only had four hours sleep, but felt completely fine afterwards - hope you have the same result!
andymc
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>>(distilled spud-skins, actually - 200% proof!)
Oh boy, brings back some memories of long ago trekking through rural western (republic of) Ireland, searching for that stuff, which was not legal in those days. It was a real case of asking 'the bloke behind the bar', who whispered that 'you might try Mr O'Dearyme in the corner, who then might direct you on to someone else. After a lot of that, and a long drive and then walk into the midst of nowhere, we came across a farm, of sorts, full of scarey-looking people. We dared to ask the question - and were invited into the farmhouse kitchen for a sample, and some friendly chat, and then bought a 2 litre bottle from them.
I have *never* been so ill as I was the following day. It is the one thing, apart from gin, that I will never, ever be tempted to touch again.
Oh and the point of all that was to echo andy's happy birthday to Growler. Have a great night!
HF
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Deary, deary me HF, you actually went looking for the stuff? And there I thought you were a respectable, upstanding citizen - well, upstanding before you drank the stuff anyway. Please tell me you didn't finish the 2-litre bottle in one go, which would be the eqivalent of about six bottles of whiskey. A tip for you is to dissolve boiled sweets called brandyballs in it and serve hot - yum!
"which was not legal in those days"
No comment. Pity I can't make the Backroom meet though!
andymc
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>>Please tell me you didn't finish the 2-litre bottle in one go
Lord no!! Just a few glugs IIRC! I was not then the hardened drinker that I am today ;) (but made the mistake of drinking water the next morning - not good)
Erm - went looking purely out of bullying from fellow travellers. Of course I protested, but got outvoted.
I *would* try the brandyballs - but honestly, and this incident was a *long* time ago, even thinking about it turns my stomach to this day!
And yes, it *is* a pity you can't make the BR meet. Maybe one day, eh?
Take care.
HF
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Thanks and may your shadow never grow less. We did do a bit of a job on ourselves last night, resulting in a need for a good old grease up and a cold brew for breakfast and have burdened the hj pic site with yet more. But do check the babes out.
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Add my greetings to you too Growler - I always enjoy reading your posts. Sounds like a good time was had by all anyway :)
(Kent is indeed sizzling, and the tarmac slowly turning to goo! Have heeded the warnings especially after the thunderstorm and downpour yesterday morning though - thanks)
Hootie x
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Many happy returns Growler! If you can't remember everything that happened yesterday you had a good time!
My Brother's fifty-somethingth today so I'll be in the same boat tomorrow!
Terry
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Yes, happy birthday Growler old chap. Thanks for the laughter, the outrage and the old adage 'always buy Japanese'.
I suppose you know that your name is being taken in vain on the cult comedy prog BO Selecta?
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I can't rememeber ANYTHING that happened yersterday so I am suffering from a mixture of happy birthday and Oldtimer's Disease. Some more pix to be posted on the HJ site if you can bear to look.
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