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Put the fear of god into them and pick reverse so he sees your reversing light!
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Sometimes when you pip people who aren't in front it causes disputes amongst other drivers. I recently pipped a car and the man went berserk at the woman in a car he had just cut up, as he had assumed it was her pipping, I followed in case he got out and had a go at her at which point I would have had to intervene, thankfully he didn't.
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my wife thinks i'm going to get my head kicked in one of these days..... and she's possibly correct
this is how the scenario goes....
two laned road, in town, 30mph limit down a hill to major junction controlled by traffic lights. The major road at the junction i.e to my left and right is a major arterial route 3 lanes and 50mph limit.
Most people coming down the hill to the lights in the mornings wish to go straight on... and you can do so from both lanes...but...some (inc me) wish to turn right, which of course blocks that lane until your exit is clear, which it never is.
At rush hour you can easily have 25-30 cars in the nearside lane, queueing out of sight behind you and only 5 or so in the right hand lane wanting to turn right...
there are a number of ignorant sods who as a matter of course will come down the right hand lane and then when the lights change and the right hand lane moves forward a couple of car lengths to wait for a right turn, will then force their way in to the left lane........which is where they should have been in the first place.
As a matter of course now, when i get said ignorant sod behind me (they're usually very easy to spot)....... i don't move forward when the lights change,( i can't turn right yet anyway and usually all us right turners have to wait in the middle of the junction for the red)......that means the right hand lane remains static, whilst the left hand lane starts flowing nicely....... it's then that i get the "Pip,Pip, get a move on, will you".....although the language is usually a tad spicier than that...... i pretend that i'm a plank who hasn't noticed the lights change and make sure i hold then up enough so that they can't force their way into the other lane...... eventually i'll move forward and have even given a nice little 'thank you' wave, by which time it's too late, the other lane is moving so fast they can't get in.
Childish i know, but you'd be amazed at the pleasure i get out of it.
If ever you see in the papers that a driver has been shot dead on the way to work in Station Road, New Southgate, North London....it'll be me
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Wife's Clio's horn is good for this, it emits a gentle "would you ever so kindly excuse me" pip where as the Mondeo is not so polite, it's "get out of the ****** way" two tone parp can so easily be misconstrued.
(Mods the ***** are mine not the swear filter's)
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westpig.... i hope you never get shot.... the only crime your guily of ...is protecting all the innocent poeple in the left lane who really dont need to be cut up by these morons..i have a similiar junction like that where i live, and would do the same :)
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www.storme.co.uk
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Westpig and storme: I could take you to a dozen places that are like that every rush hour, morning and evening. I always try not to give way to selfish pushy drivers of that sort, but some are so pushy that there's nothing a sane person can do... I dream sometimes of having and old Land Rover with scaffolding bumpers to have a bit of fun with. But it's only a dream. One would be sure in practice to gouge someone innocent by mistake...
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Ah, horns... the warm tuneful chord of an Audi or old American car, paaarp... the pathetic bleat of a cheap British car from the fifties, beep beep... and the yobbish overbearing bawl of a Mercedes, guaranteed to awaken a warlike response in anyone bawled at...
Of course we British hardly ever touch the thing, do we?
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Igonring the traffic light theme on this thread but going with the pip, pip one I want to share a story that happend to me on friday night.
Driving along in the left hand lane of the M1, slowly catch another car up going a nice 65 mph. White Van Man decides to overtake me at about 70 mph then slow down to 60 mph. I can see if i he maintained the same speed I would want to move into lane 2 just when he was occupying it. So I decided to speed up to about 70mph, undertaking him (technically not since I have not changed lanes?) and nip into the resultant gap.
After compleating watching me complete this manuvre he switches to lane 3 almost instantly and then edges past me ever so slowly. Lane one and two are now clear, but I stay in lane 2 because he has irritated me changing his speed(O.K 2 wrongs don't make a right, but we all do little things of this nature, take Westpig for example). At most I accelerate by 5 miles an hour to 70 mph again. He ever so slowly draws up to my car and starts pip piping and gesticulating, and then rushes off into the distance at about 75mph. If he only overtook me when I was in lane 2 doing at that speed he would not have been pip, piping me.
What on earth is wrong with these people, I don't have cruise control on my car, but if I did these people would really get up my nose. Why can't they drive at a constant speed?
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Torque means nothing without RPM
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Here's one for you: proceeding at a gentle pace from Crewe to Nantwich last night. Mondeo parked on pavement, I clock it, all of a sudden it screams off the pavement (about 200 yards in front) and u-turns in the road. Don't have a particular problem with this, but notice his safety is somewhat compromised by the fact he has no lights on. Pitch black road, pitch black Mondeo. So, I flash my lights at him a couple of times. He slows down and I see he is hurling abuse at me, and giving me the finger and all the time not looking at the road. A few yards further on, his lights come on.
I hope he got a mouthful from his other half. This seems to be becoming the rule rather than the exception. Why, I wonder? Did he not think that I was merely pointing out he had no lights on? Why did he find it so threatening? People confuse and baffle me, they really do.
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On the M6 last night I was doing about 65 in the middle lane (in fairly heavy traffic) when I let someone out in front of me, then moved out into the outside lane once a car passing me was clear. I got a good 30 seconds of fullbeams from the X5 that was 200 yards back and doing no more than 5 mph more than I was, even before I came (swiftly) up to speed.
After the first few seconds I just put my rear foglights on until he switched his lights back off. Completely pointless aggression on his part, entirely unnecessary.
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To be honest, I've found that foul mouthedness, abuse and agressiveness is directly related to driving ability....
Whatever you do, dont smile or give a cheery wave as I've found that this can make matters worse.
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X5
Surely not.... How unusual... ;-)
I firmly believe you should have to be psychologically assessed before being allowed to drive one of these, if those on the road today are anything to go by.
I do have a theory though - over the past months, I have suffered less at the hands of idiotic, aggressive, and dangerous 3-series drivers (one even flashed me out a side street the other day). Which leads me to conclude that these idiots have upgraded to the X5 (and normal people are buying 3-series again)
Heaven help us!
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when i had my 3 series.. i used to indicate..hehe that confused em
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www.storme.co.uk
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I always think about the other drivers mental state, re pipping a horn.
Never know whether life has pushed them to breaking point and it just needs the final straw to fall on the camels back, as it were.
Then there are the Personality disordered with no conscience and a wheel wrench in the cab , or worse. I think some blokes in this category would just love some sort of confrontation, and have prepared a weapon for it.
I once saw the result of two drivers somewhere in the above category meet.
On the outskirt of Slough, about 15 years ago I was in slow moving traffic, when there was the sound of a screaming engine and a car *dived* into the space in front of us. It took a second or so to realise that the car was crumpled on nearly all its panels. Seconds later another damaged car shot past and drove into the side of the previous one, scraping up its side. This one then pulled away, while the the first car ripped down the second ones side with its front bumper.
They chased each other down the road pushing in each others panels before one of then sped off down a side road, sounded like it was being redlined in first gear. I could see it with the driver *sawing* at the steering , max revs in first gear.
So enraged and out of his head, that he could not get it into second gear or steer straight.
The really scary thing was the drivers looked in their thirties and both with families on board who looked terrified.
( It was bank holiday weekend)
Made me think of the consequences of anyone * crossing them* further on.
Then there was someone I knew who had great stress and family problems, wife leaving, taking children.
He was driving through Leeds in heavy traffic when he suddenly just *lost it* and smashed into all the cars around him until someone reached in and got his keys.
He was briefly sectioned but then discharged, We never found out if there was a *trigger* event in the traffic that pushed him over the edge.
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It's getting really scary now. There was that lawyer in London, stabbed to death by muggers because he fought back. Then there was that guy on a train that stabbed a student to death for looking at him. I used to get cross and retaliate when I got cut up by bad drivers, but these days, I don't- you just can't be too careful. Best off meek and mild than in a box! I tell myself that the Karma will get them in the end.
Besides, the horn in the MG (bit like those 50's British cars) is little more than a pathetic 'meeep'. Bit like the noise you imagine Beaker from the muppets might make in his sleep!!
As Sgt. Esterhaus used to say in Hill Street Blues, 'Let's be careful out there!'.
Alex.
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Dr Alex Mears
MG BGT 1971
If you are in a hole stop digging...unless
you are a miner.
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Karma will get them in the end.
I am a firm believer in that as well.
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Karma will get them in the end. I am a firm believer in that as well.
Karma will get you in this life,
and the next
and the one after
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TourVanMan TM < Ex RF >
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"the horn in the MG (bit like those 50's British cars) is little more than a pathetic 'meeep'"
You need to fit a set of air horns. Something with lots of decibels and a deep tone like the Queen Mary. Give the dozy ones a blast with that and they will think they are about to be creamed by 40 ton truck!
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No need to be meek and mild. Take your road, don't have eye contact with obvious nutters or bad drivers around you who have turned you into an obvious nutter, drive carefully and if necessary operate the central locking... Do acknowledge courtesy, but don't give discourtesy the courtesy of visible recognition... perhaps a slight grimace of distaste as you zip away into the traffic. If you look too meek they'll come after you in the hope of making you meeker still. Let them think you might be a nutter yourself or a person connected with the higher levels of the law.
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When I am stressed in traffic, I have fantasies of just flooring it and to hell with anyone else! I have never lived up my fantasies, which may be to the betterment of society and to myself.
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Torque means nothing without RPM
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When I am stressed in traffic, I have fantasies of just flooring it and to hell with anyone else! I have never lived up my fantasies, which may be to the betterment of society and to myself.
I trust you've looked at the little movie of the person in a silver Toyota is it doing just that, mk124? If you do it'll put you off a bit.
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and normal people are buying 3-series again
Which is why I sold mine (not really I was forced into it by a sinking cargo ship and lease company !)
when i had my 3 series.. i used to indicate..hehe that confused em
I find that people in general are more tolerant with 5 series drivers, I also indicate, use hand signals (being a biker)
and leave two second gaps, I love going fast though and I will be caught one day and all that signalling and not tailgating will come to nawt....:-(
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