Have to say on my visits I would place London, aside from maybe Lagos or Dhaka, as the very opposite, to put it kindly and not get censored, the armpit of the universe.
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I was going to say, Growler, maybe an inverted cone, with all roads leading downhill to London??
(And that from someone who's only 35 miles from it!)
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Lagos? What a lovely place! I'm heading back there next week (I think.)
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Tomo, don't you remember when Death rode a supernatural motorbike prototype? Think it was in Mort. The narrative pointed out when he crashed spectacularly that a single burning wheel rolled out of the wreckage because "this always happens".
Hm - think I'll go and read it again.
By the way, the world really is flat. All those pictures from space were taken by Daleks using fish-eye lenses in an attempt to deceive and confuse us. In fact, I drive a Volkswagen because "my other car is a Tardis".
I'll get me coat.
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If the world really is flat, then how did Michael Palin manage to get 'Around The World In 80 Days' without falling off the edge? Eh?? Eh??
And surely, if a plane sets off from America to fly to Russia then it would never get there but merely carry on flying into the furthest reaches of the cosmos.
>>In fact, I drive a Volkswagen because "my other car is a Tardis".
Wow! There's a coincidence! I drive a Tardis because my other car's a Volkswagen. How spooky is that???
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>>If the world really is flat, then how did Michael Palin manage to get 'Around The World In 80 Days' without falling off the edge?
Surely if the world is flat, Michael Palin should be going "Across the World in 80 Days?"
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My point exactly Carole! Nice to see that you don't subscribe to all this new-fangled 'the world is flat' claptrap. I mean, really!
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The world is flat but for the speed humps that make you think otherwise. (Can I have a point for a motoring connection?)
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Surely if the world is flat, then we have an instant solution for all the environmental problems. What we need to do is to get a significant proportion of the world's population to stand at one edge of the world. Then, on the word 'go!', everybody would jump up and down at the same time. This would make the world flip over, but slowly enough so that all the people who jumped up and down would land safely. Thus we would have a brand new world and all the people who didn't like it could buy sticky shoes (copyright andymc) and sticky pants (eurgh!) and live on the bottom of the world. This section would become known as 'The People Who Live On The World's Bottom', or 'Londoners' as they will become known over time.
Sorry, guys, couldn't resist! ;-)
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>>This section would becomeknown as 'The People Who Live On The World's Bottom', or 'Londoners' as they will become known over time. Sorry, guys, couldn't resist! ;-)
Cough, splutter, ehem... people are listening you know... people that might take offence...
HF ;)
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>>This section would becomeknown as 'The People Who Live On The World's Bottom', or 'Londoners' as they will become known over time. Sorry, guys, couldn't resist! ;-)
Cough, splutter, ehem... people are listening you know... people that might take offence...
Beware of the traditional riposte to the tourist's jibe 'this place must be the ........ of the world':
'H'm. Just passing through are we sir?'
;-)
Oz (as was)
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Andymc.
That does ring a bell, but perhaps I'm thinking of that smash in Soul Music.
I should buy a full set of my own, for reference! Along with John Buchan and Dornford Yates and Rider Haggard and Kipling.
There's some motoring in Kipling and Buchan, by the way, and plenty in Yates - see Pau to Bordeaux in "Jonah and Co." for instance.
Reading "Three Comrades" at the moment, with Karl.
Tomo
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Rob The Bus - don't argue with me human, or I shall destroy you. The explanation is simplicity itself.
1)No-one ever flies from America to Russia. Russia is in fact in Alaska, and those who think they fly there have in fact paid a lot of money to sit in an aircraft simulator on the back of a lorry. Fools!
2)Michael Palin went around the edge on the underneath. He wore very sticky shoes to make sure he didn't fall off. Anyway, he's a lumberjack so he should be ok. No, I lied, he was actually taken right here to Lough Neagh and repeatedly dosed with hallucinogens to make him think he was having all kinds of experiences abroad. Fortunately, the Mid-Ulster accent was helpful in convincing him of this. He made it around the shore forty seven times without once catching on.
Speaking of the Tardis, did you see Dead Ringers last night?
Tomo - you could well be right! I didn't start reading it after all, as I have about 6 books on the go right now. Currently working my way through Carl Hiaasen's back catalogue and just finished Christopher Brookemyre's latest.
The best "motoring" in a book for me is Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas (talk about hallucinating). Read that book first when I was about 15, never forgot it - the ultimate road trip! Brilliant social commentary as well. Now that's definitely worth re-reading, especially these days. There's also quite a funny part in Generation X when one character is engaging in some petty vandalism by burning little holes in the roof of a Porsche convertible with his cigarette. Unfortunately the cherry of the cigarette falls through into the car, which is engulfed ...
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Andy, you can't destroy me as you're a Time Lord and Gallifreyans are a peaceful culture. Unless, of course, you sport a dodgy black beard and your Tardis is shaped like a Corinthean column... Cripes, you're the Master aren't you???
As for the Michael Palin theory, I just don't buy it. Surely he would have had enough mind-altering drugs left from dreaming up, writing and performing Monty Python to last him a life time without needing any more.
And next thing, you'll be telling me that when I'm on a motorway I'm actually standing still and some fantastic effects are moving the scenery to fool me into thinking I'm going somewhere.
(Phew, I was wondering how I was going to get it back to motoring!) ;-)
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Of all I survey, Rob, of all I survey. Actually, I do have the short dark beard and "scary" eyes, apparently (which is great for silencing annoying nephews & nieces when I've had enough - you should see their little smiles just die ... Mwahahahahaha!)
If you were driving in an easterly direction at exactly the same speed as the earth's rotation, you would be effectively standing still while the earth turned beneath you. Course, that could only happen if you had a very very fast car and, of course, if the earth was round.
Somehow I think all of this is headed for the Silly Thread ...
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D'oh! Westerly direction!
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The fact that Mark has let his hair down for a change and added his "silly" theory, the thread will continue for the time being.
:-).
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The fact that Mark has let his hair down for a change and added his "silly" theory, the thread will continue for the time being. :-).
actually it's entrapment. He's passed everybodies details to the authorities, and as we speak, several backroomers are being visited by men in white coats offering them jackets that fasten at the back....
I have to grow old - but I don't have to grow up
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>>as we speak, several backroomers are being visited by men in white coats
Well, I've not had my visit yet. I could do with a new jacket. What's that love? Somebody at the door? Hang on, I'm jus....yyeeeuuurrrrgggghhhhh!
Sory iv i dont type veri wel now but im typin wiv my nosse.
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>>as we speak, several backroomers are being visited by men in white coats Well, I've not had my visit yet. I could do with a new jacket. What's that love? Somebody at the door? Hang on, I'm jus....yyeeeuuurrrrgggghhhhh! Sory iv i dont type veri wel now but im typin wiv my nosse.
i've just returned from the b&q warehouse at warrington and i'm sure that at least two wrinklies driving round the car park had straightjackets on.
Doesn't it worry you when people make ordinary maneuvres look dangerous and complicated ?
I have to grow old - but I don't have to grow up
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>>i'm sure that at least two wrinklies driving round the car >>park had straightjackets on.
It'd be even more worrying if you saw a car with Ray Allen in the passenger seat and Lord Charles in the driving seat!
(For those that are wondering, or indeed give two hoots, I've mangaged to get K9 to burn through the leather straps on my straightjacket. I'm free again, free I tell you!)
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So, Rob, am I henceforth to be known as "the sticky shoe guy"? There was me trying to get people to think of using alternative fuels!
The only thing I can say in response to the K9's intervention is that this thread is now camper than a row of tents. Back, Sootek, back!
Flat Earth Society motto: A Level Playing Field For All.
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"If you were driving in an easterly direction at exactly the same speed as the earth's rotation, you would be effectively standing still while the earth turned beneath you. Course, that could only happen if you had a very very fast car and, of course, if the earth was round."
Or if you had an endless road at an equally, very high latitude.
Tomo
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Preferably the other way.
Tomo
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Of course, it is perfectly possible for the world to be flat and round. I believe that the world is spherical and I also believe that you have all therefore been talking small(ish) spherical objects. I also now feel very self-righteous, but that may be something to do with the red wine.
Pedantic PhilW
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And were it not for the red wine I would probably have used a better word such as "smug" rather than self-righteous.
Smug Pedantic PhilW
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Phil, how can the world be both flat and round? Concrete proof that the world is round must surely be that when you drill a long way down (providing you don't hit any bombs planted by the Daleks to enable them to pilot the Earth all over the cosmos) you end up surprising somebody in West Worrata. Especially if you end up popping out of their u-bend. When they're on the throne.
And, flat-theorists, explain the whole 'water swirls clockwise down a plughole in one hemisphere, but anti-clockwise in the other' malarkey.
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Rob,
Are your car (or bus!) wheels round? Is the earth the same shape as your wheels? Is a football round ? Is your dinner plate round? Is your football the same shape as your dinner plate or is one round and one spherical?? I know exactly what you mean Rob but I am just being very picky and annoying - take no notice of me!!!!!
Smugger and smugger Pedantic Phil
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Phil
Red wine seems to make you terribly smug! ;-)
Are you trying to say that if you view a football head on and directly in your line of sight, it appears to be one-dimensional? But if you change your view then it suddenly becomes three-dimensional?
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When I view a football head-on, I duck ;)
HF
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"When I view a football head-on, I duck ;)
HF"
Bwahahahahahaha! ROFLMAO, HF!!
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Rob,
You have to read this as if it is being said with a great deal of smugness and a pronounced slur!! What I was saying was that the argument that "the earth is not round, it is flat" is not logical because something can be round and flat like a dinner plate or wheel. We should be arguing as to whether the earth is flat or spherical (like a football). So, is the earth shaped like a football or a dinner plate?!
This is getting like one of those arguments in the pub which go on for hours until both groups suddenly realise
a) that they are both sying the same thing or
b)that the argument is pointless and nobody else cares anyway!!!!
- or even both!!
I'm going to bed now before I fall over (or off the edge of the earth!
Too smug for his own good PhilW
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Ah, I see! Well in that case, I'll go for 'football'. Hope you managed to get to bed before you fell over and haven't spent the night asleep in the Corby!!
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Are you trying to say that if you view a football head on and directly in your line of sight, it appears to be one-dimensional?
Errr, two-dimensional, shurely? One-dimensional would just be a straight line... Oh, I give up.
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>>Errr, two-dimensional, shurely? One-dimensional would just be >>a straight line... Oh, I give up.
Yeah, yeah! Physics was never my strong point. Bit of a worry really as I'm a Time Lord!
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