For me it was the 1 year old Citroen C3 we bought from a main dealer. It was fine for 6 weeks and then wouldn't start due to a failed fuel pump. I rang the dealership to be told that I should take the car to them, they obviously didn't listen as I'd already told them it wouldn't start as the fuel pump isn't working.

I got the car towed to them by the AA who gave them a report of a suspected failed fuel pump and I didn't hear a word from them for 1 week. I called them to be told It would be ready tomorrow, so I ask them if they have found what is wrong with it and the answer is no!

6 weeks later and lots of phone calls from me, the car is ready. I got there and was told it's outside and there is your key. When I looked at it, it has dents in both front wings, the bonnet and scratches down the nearside doors. I opened the bonnet to find half the induction system and airfilter housing are missing. After a bit of a discussion they say they are going to do the body repairs as they can't be sure if they were there or not when it arrived (they most certainly were not).

2 weeks on I get the car back and with a smarmy comment of "we fixed your dents as a good will gesture", 2 hours later it stinks of diesel and has diesel pouring out of the fuel rail.

I won't bore you with all the details but, after a heated discussion with the dealer Principle I ended up selling it back to them for what I'd paid for it, he then had the nerve to say I was barred from their showrooms (as if I'd be foolish enough to want that hassle all again).

And now a happy ending from another Citroën dealer! Many years ago while driving my then girlfriend home to meet my parents, the thermostat gasket blew on my cheap summer car (I'd paid £150 for a tappety, mostly hand-painted 11 year old Talbot Horizon that went like the clappers, and sold it for half that two months later. It cost me all of £65 for 3 months' insurance IIRC: those were the days, eh?) I managed to limp as far as the Peugeot-Citroën´-Talbot main dealer, where a wonderful, semi-retired old-school mechanic, who used to put a few hours in on Saturday mornings, took a quick look and sent me to buy a new gasket for a princely 26p from the parts store. Once the engine had cooled down, he fitted it for me for a tenner and half an hour later, I was up and running.
("But tell young people that today and they'd never believe you...", etc.)

This will probably sound untrue but i can't recall a really bad garage, but then i've done the vast majority of my own servicing and repairs all my life, as a kerbside cowboy my work was usually well commented on at MOT time so kept a small bunch of regular satisfied clients.

Can't recall any spectacular garages either to be fair, my MB indy does good work but ultimately Mercs have been rather an overrated disappointment IMHO and i shall probably end my days driving, as now, older Toyotas or Subarus which are the standard for durable and reliable that others have to match.

Had an old Austin Princess 1800. It started to knock alarmingly on start up after I'd given it a service. Local dealer said "yeah, that'll be your bottom end, bring it in and we'll replace it all". I'd noticed it only happened after it had been parked for a while, and started to suspect a non-return valve in the oil system. Removed the oil filter (inverted) one day and nothing came out. Turned out the filter spec had been changed from a 'suspended' to an 'inverted' at some time, but the independant suppliers weren't aware of this. A call to the technical department of a national oil fiter manufacturer quickly gave me the part number of a suitable filter with the necessary non-return valve fitted. I understand this cost the 'well known' supplier of car parts a considerable sum for their incorrrect listing of oil filters for BMC 'B' series engines.

Took a Focus with a suspension knock to the main dealer. The workshop 'foreman' diagnosed it as a worn anti-roll bar balljoint. "Don't know why they fit anti-roll bars, as they're not necessary" he said. I replaced the part myself.

Not exactly "customer service from Hell" - quite the opposite in fact - but a couple of wonderful stories from years ago, of which I have, inevitably, long since mislaid the source.
Story 1. A customer insists that her car (a VW Beetle) is "running lumpy." Several checks and test drives later, no obvious cause is found and the customer is still fuming (think Mrs Richards from Fawlty Towers). Junior customer service technician takes customer out for a test drive and asks her to drive. "Mrs. Richards" sits down, pulls the choke out to maximum and hangs her handbag on it and drives off in an enormous cloud of smoke.
Story 2. Customer leaves car with garage on Monday morning with cryptic note about "knocking sound from engine area". Several checks and a long test drive later, the mechanic identifies the cause and leaves a note for the driver who collects the car that afternoon.
"Knocking sound traced to hard boiled egg inside glovebox, believed to have escaped from customer's lunchbox. No charge."

Edited by Bilboman on 05/10/2017 at 00:37

23 posts, but all from regulars so not a single name-and-shame. Thanks, everyone.

Interesting to see some fond memories of the Cavalier. That was the only Vauxhall that I ever found enjoyable to drive: I might have had one but it wasn't quite big enough for our growing family. The 1.6 felt much brisker than the equivalent Sierra and the 2-litre went like a bomb.

23 posts, but all from regulars so not a single name-and-shame. Thanks, everyone.

Interesting to see some fond memories of the Cavalier. That was the only Vauxhall that I ever found enjoyable to drive: I might have had one but it wasn't quite big enough for our growing family. The 1.6 felt much brisker than the equivalent Sierra and the 2-litre went like a bomb.

It certainly did, and it was probably the quickest and most gutsy car in terms of pure BHP (120, if I remember rightly) that I've ever had. Given the significantly more powerful cars available nowadays, that perhaps says something about the stately progress that I tend to look for in my cars.

Like many who were still in the first flushes of driving enthusiasm I occasionally fancied the idea of being seen in an SRi, but I doubt whether it would have been significantly quicker than the 2.0 GLi whilst certainly being much more attractive to thieves at a time when car security was fragile, to say the least.

As the OP I'd echo your thanks, Avant, about the absence of naming and shaming. Witty, interesting and entertaining posts, and not a single court case pending at the end of it all.

Edited by argybargy on 06/10/2017 at 10:59