If you live together they still get the pension and the house it makes no differance it only helps should you have children as you get automatic legal rights and unmarried man has to fight in court for these i know i have!

If in doubt don't do it top advice above & make a will now if you have not it makes sense and piece of mind when you have kids.

If you were not their father anyway, Lord Vader, it would be very difficult to keep them.

Ok Dave, hope you're not so absent from here that you don't see this - but lovely to hear from you again.

What I have isn't a full-on 'marry me marry me' situation, not at all. And I'm as cynical as everyone. Only you here really know my history, possibly Avant - I LOVE my new name from him. Would like for him as mod to change it on my details.

You know what I went through before except possibly that I was done for a load of money, which you know I didn't have!

I thought I was more sensible now - maybe I still hope for a dream - but I know this is going to turn out s***! I look at it that I've had a few happy days - sometimes that's all anyone can hope for.

Dave - luv ya always

Thanks! I like you a lot Avant, you're very kind. You and Dave have helped a lot, and I hope you continue to do so.

Of course I continue to talk to friends - and I hope you and Dave can be amongst those.

Will try my profile.

One thing that may help you decide is to spend a lot of time with your putative in-laws, especially the wife. If there is anything you don't like about them, does their son seem likely to be influenced towards the same traits? If so, could you tolerate them? Also, is the marriage successful? If not, the son is likely to be damaged in some way, as you could be by your own background. Had I known my own in-laws better, and with my own bad family background, my bride-to-be would have remained to-be.

sorry to take so long to come back to my own question - you'll understand that I need privacy to write about this and HF minor is usually with me. Meeting the family is out of the question i'm afraid, they don't live in this country.

I guess that yes, I'm being naive as always, but I honestly don't mind marrying someone if it helps them out, as long as I'm not doing anything illegal. If a will and a pre-nup would protect my assets I kind of think why not?

Not so heroic avant, I think I'd better stick with my original name or be horrificallyconfused female.

I have been married three times get on well with my two previous wifes,I would not have missed the experience for anything enjoyed every minute of it,life is short and it can be sweet and exciting or just plain boring you make it of it what you want just have no regrets on your death bed and don't listen to idiots who have never done anything ever exciting in their lives.

Just wana reply to u and the other guy. Because u are so right. You know exactly what Ive been talking about, and people who have have had more conventional lives cant understand.

I want life exciting. And I want no regrets.

Everything I have done, really no regrets cos im proud of my boys.

One's gona be a household name, the other, i duno yet but a doctor or someone that finds a way to stop cancer or something.

Sometimes you have to give up something of yourself to let those after you do what they need to do. It doesn't come easy but that's what i do. No more silly relationships for me. And since that was the first in ten years that won't be hard!

Thanks. I can't be boring. Wish i could. Can only carry on as i am. Bit wild, don't know where that came from but ive tried to control it and cant. So, wild, mad and free.