My wife tells me that I need to relax more when driving.
Any top tips on keeping calm in the face of danger introduced by others ?
I have tried peril sensitive glasses, but that caused all manner of other
problems :-)
|
keeping a 2 second gap between yourself and the driver in front helps a lot, they're so far ahead that you can react calmly to anything they do.
And you've more time to look out for the dogs and children etc stepping into the road.
If you haven't done so already take the Institute of Advanced Motorists training, cut my 'red mist moments' down by 90% I'd say.
Stewart
|
Concern yourself with how you are driving rather than find fault in others. Is your driving good enough not to attract attention of other road users? We are one of a few million and it's in our best interests to protect ourselves.
As a Buddhist once said to me whilst in Malyasia:
'Tis better to light a candle than complain about the darkness'.
|
GET IN CAR START SHOUTING AT THE MIRROR FOR 5 MINUTES THEN MOVE OFF
works a treat ;-)
|
|
|
|
keeping a 2 second gap between yourself and the driver in front helps a lot, they're so far ahead that you can react calmly to anything they do.
You now cannot do this, certainly on my commute (M25/M3). I have been timing it - the longest it's been is 50 seconds before some pleb in a 3-series, X5 or A4 (the worst offenders) swerves into the gap to change lanes or perform some other ridiculous manoeuvre to get a two vehicle advantage. They are often going 20 mph quicker when they swerve in as well, so it's emergency stop time as they try not to hit the car in front up the chuff which impacts the smoothness and safety of my own progress.
I don't do it any more. It's a stress creator, not a reliever, at least around here anyway.
Cheers
DP
|
|
It's interesting you mention 3 series and X5 (as well as A4) - I was berated on another thread for daring to suggest that BMW drivers were aggressive and ignorant.
|
|
|
I don't do it any more. It's a stress creator, not a reliever, at least around here anyway. Cheers
DP, you've GOT to do this - 2 sec or more. Otherwise it's plain dangerous - reduced braking distance and visibility. People will naturally slide into the gap you leave. Live with it. Those 'extra' vehices will extend your journey time by, oh, a matter of seconds - maybe half a minute per half hour journey?
Life's too short to worry or get annoyed about other people's driving - or even shorter if you do.DP
|
DP, you've GOT to do this - 2 sec or more. Otherwise it's plain dangerous - reduced braking distance and visibility. People will naturally slide into the gap you leave. Live with it. Those 'extra' vehices will extend your journey time by, oh, a matter of seconds - maybe half a minute per half hour journey?
In an ideal world, I would agree with you. It's not people getting in front of me that bothers me, it's the dangerous and aggressive way in which many of them do it. 9 times out of 10 they're going 20 mph or so quicker when they swerve in and brake sharply, reducing the gap in front to half a second in some cases. This means I have to brake sharply to maintain any kind of gap. If I hit them up the backside, that's going to be assumed to be my fault unless witnesses stop.
I find maintaining a second to a second and a half gap stops most of them, and it's still safer than the gap you're left with when someone pulls in in a dangerous manner.
Cheers
DP
|
I find maintaining a second to a second and a half gap stops most of them, and it's still safer than the gap you're left with when someone pulls in in a dangerous manner. Cheers DP
Well I leave a big gap, more than 2 secs probably, and I rarely have trouble with people 'pushing in'. Sure, they fill the gap, but it doesn't cause me any safety problems - or any agg. So, with your <2 sec gap, what happens when someone slams on the anchors in front of you. Do you whack them up the backside or have some magic powers that overcome the laws of physics? Or do you rely on those super-fast reflexes you've been endowed with?
|
Drive around the M3 / M25 in rush hour with your 2 second gap and see what happens. I particularly recommend clockwise at J15 (M4) where the road is six lanes wide and people can't comprehend getting onto the exit lane in good time, and clockwise at J12 (M3) where people simply can't read road signs at all.
I'm not saying I have super fast reflexes, but I've done 20-30k per year for the past six years and the only near miss relating to rear ending someone was at 20 mph when I was simply not concentrating on what I was doing. This is also the only time I ever recall triggering the Mondeo's ABS
Cheers
DP
|
Well I appreciate the fact that you keep replying, DP. And that you sign with 'Cheers'. But I can't help thinking that your priority is stopping vehicles occupying the gap in front rather than driving safely and defensively.
I've not had an accident since 1978 (and with about half a million miles in between) but I don't know how close I've come to grief - at least not before I got RoADA instruction and then passed the RoSPA test. On motorways I'm monitoring the traffic conditions half a mile ahead. I'm not sure I could do that without a big gap between me and the geezer in front.
|
....This means I have to brake sharply to maintain any kind of gap. If I hit them up the backside, ...Cheers DP
>>
i.m.o. something wrong if you have to brake sharply.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Leave plenty of time for your journey.
Don't take the mistakes, aggression or foolishness of others personally; they would do the same to anyone. Stay detached.
Concentrate on your own skills rather than the lack of skill shown by others.
If you understand music, I'm told that the correct choice of sounds can help.
If you are aware that you have become stressed, deep, slow breathing can help.
Lastly, a hot tip from Mrs H, who is a reflexologist; slide the thumb of one hand across the top of the palm (ie the underside of your knuckles) of the other and back a few times. Don't try this while driving, readers.
Hawkeye
-----------------------------
Stranger in a strange land
|
Very sound advice Hawkeye (although I don't know about the reflexology bit... give it a try though).
On the music, jazz and classical, not rock or rap unless you're a real enthusiast, they wind you up.
I thought oldman's suggestion of a 5-minute rant at yourself in the mirror before starting an interesting idea too!
|
On that subject, listening to the news whilst or just before driving can get you in the wrong frame of mind as well -
especially if it concerns paying compensation to drug takers in prison - but that's another story.
|
I knew my music degree would be of some practical use one day....
What you need is some very old, sacred choral music. Either Gregorian chant (apparently raves have used this for "chillout" purposes) or a mass composed by Byrd, Victoria or Palestrina
Setting off early also makes a huge difference.
|
|
|
|
I agree that taking the IAM test helps you to get things in perspective. If you're angry & stressed, you're more likely to get yourself in trouble by only focussing on what's vexing you rather than staying aware of all things around you.
I think someone said here before that you shouldn't waste your precious time on imbeciles you couldn't give two hoots about, and instead spend that time on those you love. Or you could talk to the wife........
I definitely find that giving yourself more time to take your journey always helps. These days, with traffic queues everywhere, people have unrealistic expectations about their journey times leading to increased stress levels.
MC
|
I think someone said here before that you shouldn't waste your precious time on imbeciles you couldn't give two hoots about, and instead spend that time on those you love. Or you could talk to the wife........
LOL
Excellent advice.
Take the view that some of the people are fools, and that all of us some time or other are careless and make mistakes. So take into account what others might do. This means driving defensively, and creating a zone of safety around your vehicle. Create a 2 second gap in front, and if someone pulls in to it, ignore them and re-establish the gap. If someone tail-gates, increase that gap to 4 seconds, or even better, get them to go past, by for example pulling over. Try and vaoid getting into a potentially dangerous situation. For example, if you must overtake a long foreign lorry, try and move to lane 3 if one exists. You could learn some gear control, and for example drop a gear if you think you might need rapid acceleration. Approach hazards with caution and at an appropriate speed. It is often said that you accelerate out of danger, not into it. None of this is particularly clever, and a lot of it is covered in the IAM book, and in the Advanced Driving book by that bloke who wrote for the Saturday Telegraph and whose name escapes me. There is also the book Roadcraft which claims to be the "essential police drivers handbook".
If driving more carefully means that you arrive 60 seconds later, so what.. It's not a race to the death.
Now if only I could always put the above into practice ... I do try, honest.
Leif
|
|
|
|
Buy yourself a Rover 75 ...............and CD's by Elgar,Vaughan Williams etc. .
|
"and CD's by ......Vaughan Williams"
Fine - but not the 4th Symphony!
|
|
comfortable automatic car, climate control....Classic FM
|
This is the wife here. I'd like to thank you all for your very helpful hints.
These common sense ideas are never appreciated when they come from the wife.
|
Could you explain what the hand massage thing does Ms G, and how long one should do it, and whether both hands?
I sometimes get a bit tense myself for no very good reason. Often in fact.
|
|
When cars didn't have power steering, and especially when I had my Bentley which was big although the steering wheel was very smooth, I used to get calluses there. But no longer. They're on my fingertips now from typing.
|
|
|
|
>>Classic FM
Absolutely, especially after 2 in the afternoon (and avoiding Steve Wright - hurrah!) and after 7 in the evening.
-- You know, it\'s not like changing toothpaste
|
|
|
|
No not the 4th but the 6th is ok if a little morbid at times , but there is so much more to enjoy !
|
|
|
|
|
An XJ8 and Puccini works for me.
Kevin...
|
|
|
I used to be Mr. Roadrage. The idiot up your tail pipe gesticulating or stamping on his brakes in front of you, racing to get in front of you etc. etc. etc. That was all me. I had even been known to get out of my car, and even when I wasn't terrorising everybody else I was driving myself beserk in the car. (and don't make the mistake of thinking I am anything less than ashamed of all that).
Then a number of things happened;
I lived in another country. One where you can get shot for that sort of behaviour.
I lived in a country where people were more concerned about where the next meal was coming from and hpw to help their family survive the next 24 hours
I lived in a country which was so full of idiotic drivers that no matter what you did, the next one was just as daft.
I lived in a country where the city traffic was so bad that the last 3 miles could take an hour or two but was through an area too dangerous to walk.
All of a sudden it becomes obvious that life is too short for such self-defeating, stressful, trivial issues such as stressing over what the car in front of you is doing which is affecting you. I started forcing myself not to care. And if you pretend it doesn't matter for long enough, then it actually starts to be true.
I used to concentrate on how pathetic I felt the whole thing was when I was sat at home relaxed. Eventually I managed to embarass myself.
I used to think about how others saw me. [these days I simply wouldn't bea abel to behave badly in front of the girls]
I used to think about how I probably made at least one mistake a day. If every car around me was as good as me, then they would make one mistake a day. However, I saw 500 cars in a day so I was going to see 500 mistakes made by drivers no worse than I. How could I blame/harass someone else for being the same standard as me ?
And if there are two worthless things too trivial to get upset over, then the driving of another and weight of traffic are certainly them.
Then it became kind of a challenge predicting and avoiding what they were going to do.
I wouldn't say I was perfect, but I drive more slowly, I don't hassle the people around me and it must be 15 years since the last time I lost my temper anywhere, never mind in somewhere as silly as a car or over anything as meaningless as the driving of another.
It also occurred that the worst your driving can ever be is when you are allowing another driver to dictate your speed, direction, braking, judgement or anything else - all of which is happening if you allow them to wind you up.
|
"I used to think about how others saw me."
This was the key for me changing my behaviour. I see it in my father and it's really ugly. I see it in other people and I just think "a-hole".
I have a special button in my car which takes 95% of the stress out of driving for me. It's called cruise control. You can't intimidate a computer by tailgating.
|
The two posts above sum it all up for me. Good calls.
|
No FM2R: very eloquently put.
Leif
|
No FM2R: very eloquently put. Leif
Spot on; especially I like the 1 mistake a day calculation. Does it for me.
Hawkeye
-----------------------------
Stranger in a strange land
|
Spot on; especially I like the 1 mistake a day calculation. Does it for me ...
but i think nofm2r must be very unlucky to be around when the 500 cars he sees [ ".... I saw 500 cars in a day so I was going to see 500 mistakes ...."] all make their mistakes in his presence ! Either that or the 500 cars stay within his field of vision all day.
|
|
I was once given a good tip for public speaking, presentations etc which I now use occasionally when needed on the road. If you find yourself boiling up when faced with idiotic behaviour or worse, agression and you want to remain calm, take six seconds to slowly draw in a full breath counting as you slowly inhale, one thousand and one, one thousand and two, ....then hold the breath for six seconds, one thousand and one..., then slowly exhale for six seconds. By the time you've done this, and it's not that easy, the moment or the opportunity for confrontation has probably passed and you'll feel a lot more relaxed than 18 seconds ago.
|
|
|
|
