Just a general query!
I often talk (perhaps excessively) about my enthusiasm for motoring, car maintainance etc to my other half. Now whilst she sometimes sounds interested i get the impression that women (depending of course on each individual) have a fairly low tolerence level for such topics. Does anyone know the level of general acceptance, beyond which point most women begin to get irate?
If anyone has any anaecdotes then please put them forward, it will no doubt draw a good laugh!
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"Does anyone know the level of general acceptance, beyond which point most women begin to get irate?"
Martin - IMHO you have already passed the point of no return! Still, good luck with your quest, and - like you - I await the response with interest.
Ronnie
PS I assume you do have your wife's approval to ask the question ....
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I'll answer your question with a question...
To what extent do men appreciate baby/new curtains/tupperware/sewing/ironing/washing/cooking/sofa re-covering/make up tips/do-i-look-fat-in-this?/soap opera talk?
(hides behind the sandbags, and covers his head...)
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Ian,
But get yourself comfortable with......
"baby/curtains/tupperware/sewing/ironing/washing/cooking/sofa re-covering/make up tips/do-i-look-fat-in-this?/soap opera talk"
.......and it opens up the access routes.
Well just cut out the soaps!
;-)
David
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If she new i spent some considerable part of my day on this page, then well, i would have to consider my options very carefully - she simply does not understand what there is to talk about. She does however understand that there are many nice gift ideas for this Thursday. I'd rather spend £20 on oil from Halfords, but then i do want to live to see another day.
but may be i could get her some accessory for the car this thrusday, flowers will only wither away!
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I hate the difficult questions.
e.g. "Which dress makes me look fatter ?"
There is no correct answer. There is no escape. Except, maybe, my latest approach which is showing some results. I do hope she doesn`t read this. But I call it my "green" approach.
Conversations go something like this...
Which dress makes me look fatter ?
Green.
What?
Green.
I don`t understand what you said....
Green.
That doesn`t make sense, I asked you which dress makes me look fatter, and you said green.
Oh sorry, I thought you asked me what colour the neighbours car was.
This induces a stunned pause as she tries to work out how I can be so confused. This pause can be used to come up with a good answer or to run for it. I normally go with the latter.
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What was that quote from Sex in the city?
Men and women don't live in the same zip code.
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Sorry, I've changed the title.
Sunday afternoon. Me watching one of my favourite films, The Dambusters. A film full of quiet dignity, achievement and stiff-upper-lip-ness.
As the story nears a moving and tears-of-pride moment, up pipes 'er indoors:
"I see her at number 49 got her new front door"
Me: Hrrrmmph.
Another film ruined.
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Oh boy ARE YOU IN TROUBLE!
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The wisest advice my father ever gave me :
"You see Lee, women, they're just not like blokes"
Right on so many levels.
Lee
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Martin,
I rather suspect that the fairer sex, *in general*, would prefer to leave the maintenance, choice of and discussions about - 'matters motoring', to someone else - as a general rule, usually, in the main, without wishing to generalise, cause offence or be considered sexist.
Its my experience that the good lady is happy to drive it, park it, sometimes put petrol in it and..........well that's about it.
BUT, I don't do the ironing and I haven't mastered the washine machine controls. I can use a hoover, duster and dishwasher and have limited skills in front of the cooker.
She doesn't know how to/doesn't want to - use any of my hand tools / power tools, garden equipment, decorating equipment, or any thing that involves getting on a ladder, getting greasy hands or hands wet due to scooping detritus from bottom of pond.
HOWEVER, I can't sew, iron very neatly, fix the zip on my trousers, type very well, use WORD very well, bake a cake for me to eat, or do a million other things that require the inordinate amounts of patience, skill and dexterity that she has.
She's not too keen on the idea of the car breaking down when she's on her own, so all the usual precautions are made to ensure it doesn't. She has absolutely no inclination whatsoever to want to know anything about that goes on under the bonnet, but then she doesn't need to when she's got someone who volunteers to attend to that sort of thing. And all that suits me well enough
Make of that what you will. But I suspect that she's not on her own. I don't know too many ladies (well none actually) who enthuse about the stuff that gets talked about here.
And I have no inclination to join a sewing circle.
So, in answer to the question - she doesn't get irate, but would head in that direction if I withdrew my labour and she had to learn how to do the things just mentioned.
Or perhaps she'd just find someone else who would!
(Dons protective headgear to prevent injury from insults hurled by Germaine Greer).
KB
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Hm - this could be tricky.
SWMBO's very tolerant, especially when the conversation has a tone that suggests I'm trying to look after the family vehicles and make them safer/last longer etc.
She's scathing, however, about motoring "poseurs" and bores. She does a nice line in yawns. She will, however, listen quite happily when our two boys start yarning about cars.
Other women I know (actually, wives of men we know) seem to vary. Some couldn't care less about cars - in fact one regards them as a horse that doesn't poop in the road! Others can be quite snobby - "ooh, I couldn't be seen driving that" but when you ask her what she does with a car, then the one she wouldn't be seen driving is the perfect match.
Mind you, when in company, I usually keep my mouth shut!
Ian
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Oh boy, are you in trouble, Mark (Brazil).
The "Which dress makes me look fatter" question is a subtle variation on the "When did you stop beating your wife" attack.
If you are foolish enough to replywith a colour, any colour, the response you will get is "So you think that I look fat, do you?"
The other trick to watch out for is the "You are only saying that because ......" variant when you answer a question.
In this scenario the female of the pair presumes to know your inner thought processes and the exact reasoning why you have given a particular answer.
So if, for example, the question is "Can you move the car off the drive" and you answer "No". The response is "My mum's coming and you want to humiliate me with a tatty old wreck in front of our beautiful house".
Your real reason is that the brakes are siezed on the "old wreck" and you would need two days work, or a tow truck to shift the thing before the weekend, this being Thursday night.
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The reality is that it doesn't work with me at all. Firstly he is not very credible and second because he already told me about his green theory over a bottle of wine.
What I can be sure of that with his daugther it will not work either, probably she will invent or create new theories that just will work with him.
Adriana.
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and he is boring when he talks about cars. They are just for driving. But its ok for me because I do not listen.
Adriana.
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oh godammit !
I was, of course, talking about what other people do.
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What are you doing out of the kitchen anyway?
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The assumption on this thread is that women are missing something by shying away from 'motor talk'.
Smarten up fellas. All that your knowledge (real or imagined) gets you is the right to lie on concrete with ice on your bum and oil dripping in your eye.
She's far too smart for you. Years ago a colleague well versed in the trade ran a motor vehicle maintenance class for ladies only. He admitted to me after a few doubles that these ladies left his full tech cert boys and all the other maintenance groups for dead.
BUT NOT AT HOME when hubby was about. They had more sense. It was all saved up for the day they broke down on the road because hubby hadn't fixed it right
Cheers Colin
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"Years ago a colleague well versed in the trade ran a motor vehicle maintenance class for ladies only. He admitted to me after a few doubles that these ladies left his full tech cert boys and all the other maintenance groups for dead. "
and I suspect its because girls do something that we fellas are very very bad at.........which is listening.
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Hon, sorry I'm late, the car broke down.
Where?
Well, on the expressway actually....
That means the $25 tow charge.
Well, yes actually.
Jeezus, not again. Where's the car?
Oh they took it away. Gave me a receipt (hands dog-eared piece of paper).
But that's miles away.
Yes I know.
What's wrong with it?
Oh, the car you mean? Well I don't know, it sort of jerked then stopped.
Didsn't you notice anything before that?
Well, there was this yellow light I've never seen before....
A yellow light? On the same dial as the speedo. At the bottom?
(Brightly) Yes! That's it!
Was it on for long?
Yes it came on on Tuesday actually and I tried to tell you yesterday but you said don't interrupt you were busy..........
(Grits teeth, white knuckles) THat...that....is the ****ing low fuel indicator.....
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Hon, sorry I'm late, the car broke down.
Where?
Well, on the expressway actually....
That means the $25 tow charge.
Well, yes actually.
Jeezus, not again. Where's the car?
Oh they took it away. Gave me a receipt (hands dog-eared piece of paper).
But that's miles away.
Yes I know.
What's wrong with it?
Oh, the car you mean? Well I don't know, it sort of jerked then stopped.
Didsn't you notice anything before that?
Well, there was this yellow light I've never seen before....
A yellow light? On the same dial as the speedo. At the bottom?
(Brightly) Yes! That's it!
Was it on for long?
Yes it came on on Tuesday actually and I tried to tell you yesterday but you said don't interrupt you were busy..........
(Grits teeth, white knuckles) THat...that....is the ****ing low fuel indicator.....
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The only comment I can make in our defence is that, generally, whenever we have said to to HWWBO (He Who Won't Be Obeyed; much to his chagrin, in my case) that there is definitely something wrong with car the common response seems to be "No there isn't. I was driving it last week, last night, or this morning and it didn't make a banging, clanging, noise or lose power at a roundabout or drive as if there was no brake or power steering etc. etc".
Never mind that one has anything from one to 3 witnesses in the car at any or all of these many and varied incidences. In a period of 40 years I have never had my word taken that there is a fault on the car unless or until HWWBO has personal experience.
In my case the funny thing is, is that the excellent mechanic who services our cars ALWAYS listens very, very carefully to what I have to say and then diagnoses the problem.
I think that some men seem to think that their womenfolk are trying to put them down if they try to analyse when and in what circumstance the fault shows itself.
It's the football syndrome, cars are seen by men to be their preserve and many will take umbrage if their other and better halves make any kind of comment regarding the faults or failures of their vehicles as this in some way seen to be denigrating the expertise of the menfolk.
I mean, it's like when the first and only time I went to see Millwall play some years ago, Durham as I recall. It seemed to me during the course of the match that Durham was a far superior team in every which way and that Millwall was going to lose. I was foolish enough to say so and was rounded on by all within earshot - not least of all by my husband - and told in not necessarily gentlemanly language that I just didn't know what I was talking about. Millwall lost, I believe.
Rita
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Who are Durham?
Never heard of them...
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Re: To what extant do women appreciate motor talk?
Author: Rita (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date: 13-02-02 18:43
Dave, et al
re my remarks that my mechanic ALWAYS listens to me when I have a problem with the car. What I was trying to say was that he always does me the courtesy of listening to what I have to say and then asks me precise questions to which he expects accurate answers as these may assist him in his diagnoses.
It has been pointed out to me that capital letters are the equivalent of SHOUTING and should NEVER be used on the net. Apologies to you all.
At this point I must say that I have an ongoing problem with my Volvo 740 GL.
(cutting out). When I posted this site asking for information/solutions I was surprised at the response that I received from yourselves or maybe others for which I was and am extremely grateful.
You're not a bad bunch of guys, just a touch hysterical at times!
'bye now, Rita
Just checking to see whether the posts continued on this topic. Seems I got the last word, as usual. Is this a good thing or not in this case.
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Oh god, now she's getting hysterical.
Women, know your limits!
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Mark: Green EXCELLENT!
I went out with a psyco for 4 years. Conversation was limited to her asking me questions with no way out. She could twist logic to incriminate and always end up in tears.
The green tip is superb. [1]
[1] In a marriage situation of course. In all non-married situations dumping at first signs of girlie insecurity is the *only* language they understand.
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Well if Millwall were playing Durham, presumably it was at cricket, no wonder they lost. Though they'd be at home wearing a box..........
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Dave,
I thought that I was reasoned, reasonable, cogent and logical - obviously the very attributes that drive men up the proverbial wall.
Rita
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"Dave, I thought that I was reasoned, reasonable, cogent and logical - obviously the very attributes that drive men up the proverbial wall."
You were, Rita. I was being Harry Enfield for a minute!
I thought it would be amusing to reply to your well reasoned comments with an accusation that you were being irrational.
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Dave, et al
re my remarks that my mechanic ALWAYS listens to me when I have a problem with the car. What I was trying to say was that he always does me the courtesy of listening to what I have to say and then asks me precise questions to which he expects accurate answers as these may assist him in his diagnoses.
It has been pointed out to me that capital letters are the equivalent of SHOUTING and should NEVER be used on the net. Apologies to you all.
At this point I must say that I have an ongoing problem with my Volvo 740 GL.
(cutting out). When I posted this site asking for information/solutions I was surprised at the response that I received from yourselves or maybe others for which I was and am extremely grateful.
You're not a bad bunch of guys, just a touch hysterical at times!
'bye now, Rita
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