Funny workshop tales - mrmender
I have 3 good friends all mechanics. 1 runs his own very well respected repair garage, 1 works on his own as a mech, the other a foreman in a ford main dealer
2 trained together, but all have worked together get them in a pub and get them talking about incedents that go on behind the reception desk
My favorite. One of them his first week at work at a big BL dealer in the late 60's
The managing directors car a S type Jag was on the ramp looking for a exhaust leak. The mechanic sent my mate the trainee to rev the engine up, so he could see any leak, the car happened to be in drive, it shot off the ramp and landed on a work bench with the sump inbeded on a vice!
Plenty more where that came from!
Funny workshop tales - Lud
Here we are again then mm... In the 1950s in Plymouth my father bought a 1934 Rover 10, as his job did not have a car attached, just a rather nice house overlooking the Saltash railway bridge.

The Rover was fairly appalling. Its worm-and-nut steering, not all that brilliant in the first place, was made considerably worse by the bad state of the drop-arm bearing and the fact that the plate carrying this bearing, attached to the steering box by four bolts, would only stay firmly attached for a short time. When the bolts loosened there was a good half turn of play at the wheelrim. I got used to jumping out to lie in the road and tighten those bolts, but the car was very frightening. I was allowed to drive it on the private road (across a field) to our house. I once reversed it through a stone wall and on another occasion forgot to apply the handbrake, so that it ran quietly away in a long curve until stopped by a haystack.

I will keep the piston rings story for another post.
Funny workshop tales - stephsteph
Hey Mr Mender
Where did this incident with the jag happen? My Grandad used to run a well known garage in the Newton le Willows area in the late 60s and he used to tell exactly the same story.... A jag rolled off the ramp and crashed to the ground ... one of those family stories we like to pass on to our children!
Funny workshop tales - Bill Payer
I worked at a garage were a customers car fell off a wheel free lift and landed on its side. The mechanics dragged it out from between the posts and pushed it back on to its wheels, whereupon it promptly bounced on to its other side!!
Customer got a new car.
Funny workshop tales - Carrow
I worked at a main dealer which had a large bodyshop. One day, a Volvo 760 Turbo was recovered in, with a front end smash. It was obviously a borderline repair but as it was quiet at the time & the customer wanted his pride & joy back on the road the estimate was for mostly straightening panels, rather than replacing them, to ensure work could take place.

After the work had been carried out & the new radiator refilled, it was taken for a road test, the car overheated & was carefully driven back to the workshop where a cracked water pump was discovered, however the engine had basically cooked and was not repairable. A new egine was £3,000 plus vat, the insurance company wanted to cut their losses but of course the customer was having none of that, so after about 2 months of wrangling it was agreed that a new engine could be fitted, but the customer had to pay for any ancillary parts required, like gaskets & belts. There were no units available so Volvo pulled a unit off their assembly line which came complete with manifolds, turbo, alternator & clutch!! Result? One very happy customer, one annoyed insurance company & one estimator who quickly learned to look beyond the obvious signs of damage!
Funny workshop tales - bedfordrl
When we had that hurricane in 1987 there was no power for two weeks and we were running what we could off of car batteries.
When the power went back on it was recharge time, one of the chaps on the farm had left his battery on charge all night on fast charge and had cooked it.
He took a small wire and touched across the terminals to see if there was a spark,"no no you do it like this" said Earl and proceded to rub a file across the terminals, there was a loud bang and the top of the battery hit the roof.
Another time we were painting around the farm and one chap was washing his hands in a bucket of petrol, in walks Jeremy and quite a way away struck a match for a fag, the match snapped and shot across the workshop to, well guess where, it was all very exciting.
A friend of mine has a farm near Hook and a young chap was starting up his own workshop on the farm and had offered to do some welding work for him around the petrol tank, deciding to help him to start up he agreed, when he went to collect his car unfortunantly it had burned down with the workshop, whoops.
Funny workshop tales - mrmender
Hey Mr Mender
Where did this incident with the jag happen?

This was on a now defunct main dealer on Anglesey
Funny workshop tales - henry k
>>... A jag rolled off the ramp and crashed to the ground ... one of those family stories we like to pass on to our children!
>>
Funny you should mention that:
www.dyna.co.za/cars/Car_-_First_Day.jpg
Funny workshop tales - JH
I once worked with a Jaguar nut who had a collection of old Jags. On one occasion, while working on one of them, he managed to put a Jaguar shaped hole in the back of his Dad's garage and ended up in the greenhouse.

Not strictly a workshop story as it's an amateur effort, but...

JH

Funny workshop tales - Mondaywoe
I remember reading in a car magazine many years ago the story of a Citroen DS that was taken in for repair. For some reason a (very) young apprentice had to shift the car to make way for another job and as he was not allowed to drive customer's cars he decided to push the car into a corner of the garage overnight.

Now it so happened there was a water tap on the garage wall at the back of the Citroen and when the car was pushed back against the wall the boot lid just cleared the underside of the tap.

Next morning.......the mechanic jumped into the Cit and started it up. The Citroen did what Citroens do........the suspension rose.....the tap embedded itself in the boot lid at first then conceded defeat at the hands of the hydraulics.....then the tap broke off, showering the workshop!

I wonder how they managed to explain that interesting indentation on the boot lid to the customer?


Graeme
Funny workshop tales - hillman
This is for workshop tales, but..

How many incidences are there of cars in showrooms driving through plate glass windows into the street when the engine was started. One incidence was in the GM saleroom in Mufulira, Zambia, CC 1968. I can't describe the circumstances, but was there a time when you could start the engine without the auto lever being in Park ?
Funny workshop tales - Hugo {P}
A few minor ones...

like the Parts Manager at a Saab Dealership who was seen to deal with the transportation problem of a large head gasket, by folding it before putting it into a bag and handing it to the bemused customer (who knew more about head gaskets than the "Parts Manager" did!

Like the idiot parts delivery driver working in Leicester who pranged the van on his second day. The only reason he didn't do it on his first day was because he was a passenger with another driver just getting to know the route. Yup I got a lot of ribbing for that! ;)

Like the person who got done for speeding in a Volvo 440. Nothing unusual in that you may say, but the 440 hadn't been released to the general public yet. No this person was working for a dealership and was on a Volvo day out to try out the new range. Rear visibility was never that good on them eh?

H
Funny workshop tales - Chas{P}
Like the person who got done for speeding in a Volvo 440. Nothing unusual in that you may say, but the 440 hadn't been released to the general public yet. No this person was working for a dealership and was on a Volvo day out to try out the new range. Rear visibility was never that good on them eh?

Hugo - I hope you're not referring to me by any chance?! It was a 440Turbo to be exact and I considered it was rude not to try it out properly in the name of product evaluation. Rear visibility was fine. Was a hidden copper with a speed gun in front that caught me.
--
Was Charles {P} but someone c o p i e d my name with spaces.
Funny workshop tales - Quinny100
A Tractor dealership I know of moved premesis. A regular customer dropped off his large tractor on some big row crop wheels for a service first thing, the fitter met him outside and said he'd take it straight in and get to work.

As the customer looked on, he drove it towards the workshop. As gets through the door, theres an almighty noise and he parks up in the workshop showered in glass with one convertible tractor! Turns out the door opening was about 4" too low for the tractor on the bigger wheels, and left the dealership to pick up the tab for a new cab and full set of glass!
Funny workshop tales - leef
Keep them coming chaps!!! these are fantastic, brought a smile back to my face after Bolton got nailed last night. :)

Lee
Funny workshop tales - Robin Reliant
Keep them coming chaps!!! these are fantastic, brought a smile back
to my face after Bolton got nailed last night. :)
Lee

>>

Really?

I was ecstatic. Already working out the driving time to Cardiff.
Funny workshop tales - sierraman
I once worked with a Jaguar nut who had a collection
of old Jags. On one occasion, while working on one of
them, he managed to put a Jaguar shaped hole in
the back of his Dad's garage and ended up in the
greenhouse.



Would have thought it more likely the doghouse.
Funny workshop tales - mrmender
One of the above mentioned mechs just replaced a MG Midget engine on warrenty so car must have been new.
Shut the bonnet hard but had forgotten to remove the engine lifting lugs.... Result 2 large dents in the bonnet!
Funny workshop tales - Civic8
Dont know if anyone remembers last special edition Capri made in 1987,one came in for PDI (pre delivery inspection)Mechanic who did this for some reason decided to change oil and filter.

Not required at the time,only a check level.It seems Mechanic decided to replace filter and oil-except he did not put any oil in after the filter was changed.

after superviser had gone about 3-4 mile, engine siezed up, with customer waiting for car at workshop door,Due to excess run of these cars at the time was hard to keep up with PDI`s what with Granadas and escorts/Fiesta being bought new at the time.
a severe grilling for Super as he should have checked all before he left workshop,bit that annoyed me -I had to explain to customer why the car was not ready,And did not lie,Mind you this cost me my job but was worth losing due to work practice that I did not agree with
--
Steve
Funny workshop tales - nortones2
.*********
Funny workshop tales - nortones2
In a gruesome shed-like metal working factory in Blackburn snow had settled on the process machinery within. The poor devils employed were trying to work the guillotines etc. The accompanying HSE doctor (there to to give him some experience of the real world) and I, were surprised whilst taking staements, by a small explosion, caused by some dodgy wiring, and wonky connections to the battery terminals which slipped. Battery was being charged up rather brusquely, to get the van out of the shed. IP (injured person) ran off to wash his eyes clear of battery acid followed by the Dr., who was able to confirm that washing the eyes with water was sensible in the circumstances. Lucky it was only the acid that sprayed his face: the battery casing shrapnel missed. Statement taking continued....
Funny workshop tales - nortones2
Must have been another spelling mistake!
Funny workshop tales - Dynamic Dave
Dont know if anyone remembers last special edition Capri made in 1987...


I do. The Capri 280 in the one and only colour, which was Brooklands green. A friends cousin had one. Wasn't fast enough for him in standard trim, so he went and had it turbo'd.
Funny workshop tales - Martin Devon
>> Dont know if anyone remembers last special edition Capri made
in 1987...
I do. The Capri 280 in the one and only colour,
which was Brooklands green. A friends cousin had one. Wasn't fast
enough for him in standard trim, so he went and had
it turbo'd.


.*********

Go Go Go.....................MD.
Funny workshop tales - mrmender
One thing my 3 friend agree on is the most profitable customers are the one's who tell you exactly what is a wrong with their cars
A good exanple punter calls on my mech friend who works on his own, informs him the engine in his Audi 80 is worn out and needs replacing, symptoms lots of smoke & using oil, punter informs friend that he has purchased a MOT failed Audi 80 with a good engine. He wants my mate to swap over engines. Time & date arranged job done punter goes home happy with non smoking 80. He askes my mate to dispose of the donor 80
Yes you've guessed it my mate knew all along it was just valve stem seals that was wrong with the engine. So fixes engine puts it into old donor 80 gets a MOT (2 tyres & brake pipe )& flogged it for a decent profit!
Funny workshop tales - Editor
my particular baptism was working with my prospective father-in-law who had at the time a shed full of mainly older USA cars, all in superb condition. Restore is what he does now he's retired. At this time we didn't really knowm each other well & I knew little about cars-was just there to assist. So..

the job was to take the head of an emormous 1930's Packard straight 8. I've undone all the bolts etc & am wondering just how we're going to lift this enormous lump of iron. FiL fiddles with something, reaches back into the colossal engine & presses something. Whirring noise of starter & then this enormous bang that makes me jump back about 12 feet. FiL looks at me balefully. 'You were supposed to catch the head on the way down. Shall we try that again?'

Still makes me smile!
--
www.bayingbasset.com

Funny workshop tales - Lud
The aforementioned Rover 10 seemed to be using oil, and my father decdied it needed some new piston rings. He chose Cords I think, segmented rings each of which consisted of 3 or 4 thin rings pressed together.

The car had white metal bearings so we didn't dare dismantle the bottom end. What we did was remove the cylinder head, then the block, leaving the pistons and rods sticking out of the top of the crankcase. I can't remember whether the pistons were removed to change the rings or not. What I do remember was the extreme difficulty we experienced in easing the block back onto the pistons, compressing one ring at a time and jiggling it slowly back into place. Amazingly enough we got away with it, both being fully aware that what we were doing was pretty outrageous. Anyway the car ran afterwards, whether using more or less oil than previously I don't know.

All of this was done out of doors. Of course the weather was much better in those days (early fifties).
Funny workshop tales - bedfordrl
Another tale of the exploding kind,
When i was on the farm there was a story going around about a John Deere combine disaster.
Well they were flat out harvesting and could not afford to stop the machine so it was agreed that the dealer could service it late at night when the dew fell and it was too damp to continue harvesting.
The farmer helpfully left the combine in a barn and the mechanic got to work.
Later on in the night it got a little chilly and the mechanic bought his van into the barn and left the engine running so he could pop back into the van for a warm up,unfortunantly the straw under the van caught light and literally all was lost, combine,van and barn.
Many years later i worked with a chap who had worked for the dealer and he swore it was true, in fact i have a sneaky feeling it was him who done dood the deed.
Funny workshop tales - mrmender
A similar thing happened to me i managed to set fire to the engine of my VW Type 3 variant whilst working on it, i ran out of the garage grabbed my Mums nightie off the wash line and smothered the fire saved the car but mum was very angry!
Funny workshop tales - NARU
When I worked at Ramsomes, Sims and Jeffries in Ipswich a bold person drove a combine harvester straight out through the gate.

As they often went out for field trials (literally!), it wasn't unusual for it to go out, but this one was never seen again. The assumption was that it was either on a quiet farm, or that it was driven straight to a waiting container and shipped out of the nearby Felixstowe docks.
Funny workshop tales - bikemade3
About 9 years ago i had to supervise the replacement of a main rotor head on a helicopter. Normally pretty straight forward job that can be wrapped up in 48 hours from start to succesfull check test flight.

However, unbeknown to us the replacement head during rework had not been seperated from the lower thrust washer, so doing as directed on the job card we fit new thrust washer and proceed to attempt to Tq load bolts and key sets.

Bearing i mind that there are now 2 thrust washers fitted ( 1 unbeknown to us) we can't get nowwhere near the dimensional clearances required.Decision was made to lengthen the effective length of the 4 ft tq wrench (2000Lb Ft Inch) with a 12 foot scaffolding pole.

12 FT Tq wrench & 4 blokes hanging of it and nothing happens. Bouncing of the pole results in the shaft nut jumping the shaft threads and writing them off.

Main rotor head change now includes a main rotor gearbox repacement, cost to overhaul £250,000 not including
shipping and chopper downtime.

2 Day became a 3 week job.How i laugh about it now didn't at the time thought my head was going to be on the block
Funny workshop tales - Paul I
Guy my dad knows works as a car transporter driver out of Kent for Walon. On Delivering a load of Peugeots in South Scotland he is told to pick up a new Ford KA from a dealer and transfer from Cumbria down to Cambridgeshire - and the dealer needs it like yesterday as a customer came in an offered cash for one in blue but needs it in two days for her daughters 18th birthday.

So this guy high tails it down the country to meet all customer expectations. When he arrives he take's the car off and it is whisked away to have plates fitted etc.

Just as he is putting his ramps away and is about to move off he hears what he describes as a bomb going off !! It turns out that the 18 year old trainee salesman has just driven into 6 parked brand new Ford cars total damaged 57K !!
Funny workshop tales - frazerjp
A relative of mine has a mate who runs a bodyshop down in Brighton once had an a apprentice with him for about 6 months, this chap who they called "Young boy" did so many silly things he was sack in that period of time!

One of the many things he did was he'd been asked to move an Escort Cabriolet out of the workshop & park it just outside, bearing in mind the Escort has received a new offside wing & respray. Young boy moved the vehicle by rolling it out, during the process of taking it out of the workshop he scraped the nearside wing against the workshop doors meaning the Escort needed another new wing again at the garage's expence!!
--
Its not what you drive, its how you drive it! :-)
Funny workshop tales - orbs
years ago was keen and eager young mech , used to set myself targets on how quick i could do jobs , one day task was to fit exchange gearbox to escort van, all went well and new record time set until i drove it off lift and over old gearbox , nasty gouge in cill and floor , nobody saw so took it up road and drove allong with nearside wheels in gutter spraying damaged cill with mud , back at work parked it up and got away with it , van came back numerous times for other repairs and damage was never mentioned.
Funny workshop tales - glowplug
I used to work with a guy that seemed a bit accident prone. In previous employ as an apprentice with a commercal garage the mechanic asked him to 'put that waggon over the pit', unfortunately he did better than that and managed to put one side of the waggon in the pit.
At the company we worked at they had a Ford Courier on test from a dealership (the guys wife arranged it because she worked at the dealership) and 'he' was trying it out. However when his wife came home that evening she commented about the scruffy battered Courier van a few doors away with grass in the gutter, etc. He then had to explain to her it was the van he was test driving, apparently he'd swerved to avoid an on-coming car that was overtaking and put the Courier through an hedge and rolled it. Funny thing was nothing seemed to bother him at all.

Steve.
Funny workshop tales - Cymrogwyllt
Many years ago I had the use of a commercial pit. As needs must I had to drive the Triumph Herald the full length of the pit (about 10 m ) and then jacked up the rear end of the car. Big mistake. Much hard wrok to move the railway sleepers that covered the pit (Normally never used) to allow me to 'get out of the hole'.