You couln't make it up ...

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Sat 15 Oct 2005 18:35
You couln't make it up ... - Clanger
Walking through the pub car park on my way home from the shop yesterday afternoon, I saw a largish chap leave the pub, unlock his Peugeot 306 and open the driver's door. Nothing unusual in that, you may think, but bear with me. The door opened so that it was a whisker above the wall of a small ornamental flower bed. The chap climbed in and tried to shut his door but his weight, having sunk the car suspension, held the door firmly open against the top of the wall. Turning in his seat to presumably get both hands on the arm rest, he heaved backwards and the edge of the door grated reluctantly across the top of the wall until it jammed. Seemingly oblivious to the solution which was to get out of the car and shut the door a bit, he let forth a grunt and a few words that would make even a moderator blush, and flung himself backwards with some vigour. Either his hands slipped off the arm rest or it came away from the door, for his head snapped backwards, clipping the B-pillar and making him shout even more profanely. Now fully aware of how to relieve his predicament, he reached up for the top of the door frame to lever himself out of the car. As his weight came off the seat, relieving the pressure of the door on the wall, the door closed making him bang his nose on the frame. Laden with 4 bags of shopping and thinking of Gerard Hoffnung's barrel of bricks, I carried on homewards.
Hawkeye
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Stranger in a strange land
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Sat 15 Oct 2005 18:55
You couln't make it up ... - BobbyG
Brilliant!
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Sat 15 Oct 2005 20:03
You couln't make it up ... - Avant
Thanks for a good laugh Hawkeye!

Happy memories of Hoffnung and the barrel: for those to young to know what we're talking about, this was the speech to the Oxford Union by the late great Gerard Hoffnung, comedian and musician extraordinaire who died tragically young in 1959. It's still available from Amazon on audio CD: "Hoffniung - a Last Encore".
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Sat 15 Oct 2005 21:47
You couln't make it up ... - PhilW
Very amusing!!
But I also wonder whether "largish chap leaving the pub", who was unable to control his door/various body parts, was also in a state that rendered him unable to control his car??
Phil
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Sat 15 Oct 2005 21:55
You couln't make it up ... - Stuartli
??Happy memories of Hoffnung>>

..and a French widow in every room....

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
What\'s for you won\'t pass you by
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Sat 15 Oct 2005 23:33
You couln't make it up ... - Tony Bee
How had the driver got out of the car in the first place?
Or had they put the flower bed by his car after he parked it?
Or had he had so much to drink his weight had increased by many pounds?
Had he got in to the wrong car?
Had his friends been out and moved his car?
Or the flower pot?
I think we need a lot more info here. :)
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