I heard that most contestants had real trouble with the question about which way round a baseball cap should be worn....
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Growler,
Last week in Majorca they were selling baseball caps with the skip at the back to avaoid this confusion.
Matt35.
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Matt35, what is the 'skip' of a baseball cap and would it go with my anorak? As an aside, they used to make baseball caps with peaks at the front AND the back, Sherlock Holmes wore one and it was called a deerstalker!
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I found this on another board
(apologies for the asterisks but it\'s ok in context I hope): Er, no actually.
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Whilst I think of it, anyone want to buy an ice-cream van?
Does it come with a Flake, or is that extra? ;o)
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Always wear clean and tight underwear in public, especially when working
under your vehicle...
From the NORTHWEST FLORIDA Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis.
Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.
The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.
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nice story, but do I detect the faintest whiff of an urban myth. After all I'm certain a rather less 'exposed' version of the tale has appeared as a sketch on either Jasper Carrott or Not the Nine oclock news several years ago.
And what sort of wife is it who mistakes a total strangers 'family jewels' for her husbands ;-)
I have to grow old - but I don't have to grow up
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Tru, false, made-up urban myth... who cares?
It made me smile and thats all that counts on a Friday afternoon.
John R
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Backroomers who missed it may be mildly entertained by a contestant's answer in a recent 'Weakest Link':-
AR: What is the device, beginning with D, which directs the charge to the spark plugs?
Contestant: Diesel
Worst of all, it was a bloke!
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Can tell you what directed it away from the plugs on the wifes fiesta - Damp and Dew
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It is SO quiet in here today! What's happened? Has everyone suddenly discovered social lives?! ;)
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finally managed to sit down today and am going thru some of the posts.
what's a social life?
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HF. You really should try to get out more. Did you not notice that today the sun was shining and God was in his heaven? It was probably even too hot for the BMW brigade to polish their ultimate driving machines.
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CM - sorry, I cannot define 'social life' to you at the present time.
Bafta - getting out and about is not easy when one has to contend with climbing in and out of all sorts of orifices.
Seriously though, it really IS quiet today, isn't it?
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But HF, I thought that with your MOT fresh in your pocket and the new gaiter protecting your CV joint there would be no stopping you. You could have hopped down to Brighton for the day.
I'm glad that its quiet. I would have been most worried about the backroomers if they had spent today, indoors, at their PCs.
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Bafta - give me time! Yes, the MOT means I can go where I want, when I want. And actually I shall be doing so, very soon. You have to remember though that at present HF does not use motorways - a habit which is going to have to change, and soon!
Guess it's good it's quiet, as you say - oh and I didn't spend the whole day indoors PCing, btw! Just popped in from time to time and found it very deserted!
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Out birding along the Thames. Hoped to see some owls but no luck. Oh well. BTW what's a social life? Is that one of those things you read about in the sunday comics?
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>>You have to remember though that at present HF does not use motorways - a habit which is going to have to change, and soon!
HF - don't tell me that the motorways of this great land are going to be treated to the sight of a Vauxhall Astra struggling along in 1st??? ;-) How come you're going to be taking this brave step?
And you mention you having to crawl in and out of orifices on a regular basis in another post. Erm, at the risk of being moderated (snip, snip) why on earth do you need to crawl in and out of orifices? You're not a intelligent, computer-literate hermit crab are you?
Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
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RTB - how very insulting ;) I've said before that I frequently make it into 3rd gear. However, I'm afraid it's true, it is indeed likely that the motorways of this beloved country of ours are to be subjected to a certain Vauxhall Astra. And I apologise in advance to all motorway users for my presence.
The reasons - well, may I just say for now that I feel the need to spread my wings and venture off to pastures new from time to time? It *is* very brave though, isn't it?
As for orifices - well I guess you've not been around here long enough to know about my central locking problem. You could do a site search for tales of my elegant entries and exits via boots and windows. (or just read my profile).
As for computer-literate - surely you know of me better than that by now!
HF
Willing to march into hell for a heavenly cause.
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>>It *is* very brave though, isn't it?
Unspeakably so, HF! Good on you. I just hope that he's worth it ;-). Good luck, anyway. You will keep posting from wherever your itchy feet take you, won't you?
>>tales of my elegant entries and exits via boots and windows.
Sounds like you've been emulating the Dukes of Hazzard. So do you look more like Bo or Luke? :-P
Cheers
Rob
Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
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>>I just hope that he's worth it ;-).
Ehem, I don't think anywhere in the course of my posts have I mentioned a 'he'! (or a 'she' for that matter!)
As for the Dukes of Hazzard - are you Dynamic Dave in disguise?!
HF
Willing to march into hell for a heavenly cause.
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HF,
If you do decide to start using M-ways PLEASE get yourself some lessons! It's a totally different environment, and just an hour or so's tuition can make the difference between getting there and not, and the whole thing being a white knuckle ride, or a (reasonably!) relaxed and controlled journey. There are too many people who have not the first clue how to drive on a m-way, and as an experienced M-way user you can spot them a mile off, and avoid them like the plague!
RichardW
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Hi Richard,
Thanks very much for that. As one who has vowed NEVER to go on motorways again in my life, let alone actually drive on them, I am absolutely terrified at the prospect, and am indeed going to be eased very gently into the nightmare with plenty of teaching and practice.
Mind you, if the experienced M-way drivers avoid me like the plague then perhaps that's not such a bad thing ;)
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Actually took it out for a thrash along some little used bendy bits. Far better than polishing it....
BMW Brigade member.
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Actually took it out for a thrash along some little used bendy bits. Far better than polishing it....
I like to do both :-)
Not much chance when you spend your weekend at work though. :(
Blue
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Blimey,
Go away for a few minutes to sort out crying kid x2 and look how many have crawled out of the woodwork (social life, saturday night, PC users, hmmmmmmm!)
BTW, BMW Brigade member, who doesn't wax and usually only gets car cleaned at service time.
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Hello guys and girls
You might have noticed I had disappeared from the site for a while, or you might have not. However the nature of the disappearance was indeed unusual. A few weeks ago I was suddenly unable to log in to post anything. At first I thought it was a server problem of some sort, then it went on for a few days and it began to sink in that I might have been kindly removed from the list by one of the moderators. I emailed the site webmaster (not sure which one but its either Mark and Dave) to ask whether anything I had said or done has made them upset to such extents as to have terminated my membership, however I received no reply. This went on for another few weeks, however a few days ago I realised I was once again able to log in to post stuff! Now, could someone explain how that could have happened? Or was I having a long day dream. At first I thought it was the result of me ramping on too much about how wonderful are Citroen AXs (when clearly no one shared my love for them), but then again no one kicks out The Growler for going on about his Mustang or is it a F-150 now?!?. Anyway, fortunately or unfortunately I am back! Lets hope I wont have to endure another prolonged period of disconnection from the BR. Best wishes to all - Amin
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Actually Amin it's Mustangs and F-150's. Well I just thought it might bring a bit of other-worldliness and add some spice to a dreary world of speed cameras and gasoline rapidly becoming more expensive than a good single malt. I mean, well, you know, leaven all that stuff about does anyone know how to get the ashtray out of my father-in-law's Fiesta, or are Citroens any good (don't answer that) or my odomoter is showing 39,832 miles and I have to get to my nephew's bar-mitzvah in Scunthorpe on Wednesday which will take it over 40,000 and will my cambelt break on the way back because the manual says it must be changed at that figure.
Here in this land of 7,107 islands we know how to have a good time and a good joke or 6.
Now then it is Father's Day where I live and Growlette has laid on a special treat, of which she will not speak at this time. I say well I'm not your father but she points out I am old enough to be, which I cannot dispute.
Have a good day.
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It's Father's Day here, too, G, although I'm glad to hear that you aren't in fact related to Growlette. You had me worried there for a minute!
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Amin,
Neither Mark or I are the webmasters actually. We are the moderators, and our email addresses can be found in our profiles.
Until the 31st May, Martyn was the Webmaster - see his message in announcements. HJ has now taken over the role of webmaster.
Check your email for further info.
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CM, I *do* feel that talk about whether or not one waxes is best kept in private ;)
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It should be used as it was meant to, otherwise my Mum said you'll go blind.
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dynamic dave said:
an "I'm feeling lucky" search on google.co.uk (NOT .com) on "French military victories" yields an amusing result!
I caught up with it a little late.
Love the road map with the "Guderian Expressway A1940" crossing the Meuse at Sedan!
As a joke of course.
pat
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A teacher was arrested in London today after being found in possession of compasses, protractors, and a straight edge........
He claims to be a member of Al Gebra, a new organization possessing weapons of maths instruction.
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Am I permitted to invite suitable headlines for the attached story?
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/lincolnshire/2997224.s...m
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Motorist stopped for a pea.
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"Motorists Pea'd on again"
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Mush ado about nothing?
(or if there was a tailback)
Mind the peas ... and Queues
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Attempt to break world record for world's largest fish supper begins to take shape.
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"Peas ! Release me, let me go " - apologies to Engelbert H.
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New green transport policy revealed
(it was about time I rose to my own challenge....)
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Police are using a helicopter go get a "birdeye" view.
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New anti s-pea-ding road surface a complete failure; local council less than pea-sed.
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An extreme way of fooling a Gatso ?
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Peas take to streets to protest about travelling conditions.
Police said they would be processed shortly.
Kev
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> > BREAKING NEWS; Ferrari sack pit crew.
> > Modena, Italy. The Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired their entire
> > Pit Crew yesterday.
> > The announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take
> > advantage of the Scottish Executive's Work for the Dole
> > Scheme and hire unemployed Glaswegian youths.
> > The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent
> > documentary on how these Weegie neds were able to remove a
> > set of car wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper
> > equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing pit crew can only do it
> > in 8 seconds with millions of dollars of hi-tech gear.
> >
> > This was thought to be an excellent yet bold move by Ferrari
> > Management. As most races are won or lost in the pits,
> > Ferrari would have an advantage over every other Team.
> > However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for as, during
> > the neds' first practice session, not only were they able to
> > change the tyres in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they
> > had resprayed, rebadged and sold the vehicle to the McLaren
> > Team for 4 dozen cans of Carlsberg Special Brew, 10 cartons
> > of cigarettes and a quick glimpse of Coulthard's bird in the shower.
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Just try this:
Go to Google, type Weapons of Mass Destruction and click the "I'm feeling lucky" button.
Ha ha.
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Doing that gave me 1450000 options. Having researched them all thoroughly, I still haven't found the one you were referring to ;)
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HF, I got this one:
www.coxar.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/
Make sure you read the whole page, and even click on the links! I think it's a sublime piece of work.
By the way - I am suspicious of your ability to research all those options. Thoroughly, too. You must have a little input socket in the back of your head where all the information is downloaded directly to your consciousness. In fact, I have come to the conclusion that you are in fact the star of "Terminator 4 - Handbags of Mass Destruction". Or was it "The Matrix - Jump Started"?
Either way, I fear and respect you.
Good night!
andymc
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Good night Andy - I will check out your link in a mo. But have no fear, I am not the Terminator, or even anyone out of the Matrix (care to explain that one to me?! I never got it even after teenage son tried to explain!)
Fear and respect is good though, and you and all else who know me should really abide by it.
Only trouble comes when there's a power cut. My links to all your brains diminish just a little then. But not totally ;
) I will remain in charge and in control.
Take care and speak again
HF
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BR is playing me up tonight! Your link Andy only takes me to a 'website cannot be viewed' or something. never mind.
Almost shuteye time, see ya soon.
HF
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HF, don't just look at the layout of the page, read what it actually says very closely. Don't worry, it's not too technical!
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Doing that gave me 1450000 options.
HF, put the phrase in quotes, ie "weapons of mass destruction"
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It's morning (in case you hadn't realised), I'm wide awake, and I still can't access it. Andy's link still gives the same answer, and DD doing that does narrow it down to 1220000 options, but.....
David maybe it's not technical! But I can't find it!
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HF,
Go back to the link which you tried which said "Page not found".
Read the first couple of paragraphs and come back here and tell me what it said - clue: it isn't the page ou think it is.
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Oh, silly silly me! David - you were absolutely right! Got it now! And I'd guess it was there all along. LOL, ta for the link Andy!
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Gawd HF...you're not my wife are you?
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LOL HF!! Glad to see you got there in the end. That's why I think the thing works so well - it's kind of like a magic trick!
Terminator/Matrix references were just about human/computer interfacing, kind of what I was saying you must be able to do to check 145000 links thoroughly. The current release in the Matrix franchise is called "The Matrix - Reloaded". I thought of your car, and voila! Cheeky beggar strikes again. Or so I thought - obviously only worked for me! More a case of "half-cut cinema geek strikes again".
andymc
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See there's only me feeling all that silly atm then.
Now I've got here was going to tell you about the weapons of mass destruction, but I'm too late.
So, I'll just go to bed and hope that someone else feels silly soon.
It's too damn hot to be serious!
(still wondering about my question about which cars we'd IMAGINE other BRers drive if we could just see their faces)
Night
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